Kindly respect that I do not acknowledge Christmas before Thanksgiving.
Sincerely, Sorry that makes me a "scrooge"
Please don't touch my kid. I know she's cute, but it's flu season and she's allergic to the shot.
Sincerely, worried mom
When I'm sick, I can only do one thing at a time. I can either have a blocked nose, or breathe, not both. I can either sleep, or writhe in pain, not both. Get it?
Dear people of Ferguson,
Please know your efforts to deflate racial tention in America is starting to become counter productive.
Sincerely, I'd hate to sound racist, but it's becoming hard not to.
With all the stories you have done on evil stepmothers, how the HELL did you leave out mine?
Sincerely, Maleficent, Ursula, Lady Tremaine, Hitler and every Nazi and Slaveowner ain't got nothin
Dear cousin with Down's syndrome...,
Please know that your smile and your laugh make my day, and your hugs are the best thing I've ever experienced. I love you!!!
Sincerely, your favorite cousin!!!
Dear Kids at my school who "study" psychology in their free time,
Do you even understand what you're doing? You're using what very, very little professional psychological knowledge you have to look into what could very well be the darkest places in someone's mind. You have absolutely no right to access information that should be protected under doctor-patient confidentiality without consent. You have no right to use your potentially false knowledge to try and form an understanding of someone you know nothing about, and if you try to pick my mind apart again, I will do my damnedest to return the hell you're causing me.
Sincerely, What goes on in my mind is none of your freaking business.
Dear majority of people who enjoy a fandom,
Please realize that a majority of you wouldn't win the Hunger Games, nor is every person a Gryffindor. Let's get some facts down. Slytherins are not evil, and Gryffindor isn't the perfect Hogwarts House. Just because Harry was a Gryffindor doesn't mean everyone is and that all other houses suck. Hufflepuff isn't the worst house; there is no worse house. Just because someone chooses to pick up a Bow because of the Hunger Games doesn't make them a Katniss wanna-be. It should be good that people choose new hobbies that are healthy because they were inspired. Now stop hating on certain aspects of a fandom and go reread the series you clearly misinterpreted.
Sincerely, upset bookwork
Dear iPod earphones,
You were sitting on my nightstand not moving. How did you become such a tangled, knotted mess?
Sincerely, I only set you down for a minute
Dear male friend's overly possessive girlfriend,
I can tolerate a certain level of clinginess, but refusing to let him talk his friend out of committing suicide because "there's nothing you can do to help now"? Really?
Dear people who say Christmas can't start until after Thanksgiving,
If I want to start celebrating early because it makes me happy, why shouldn't I?
Sincerely, don't try to rain on my parade please
Dear fellow students,
Do you remember that wonderful time when homework was there to intensify our knowledge of what we learned in school, and not just for teachers to take away our time?
Sincerely, a student
Dear Noisy Tampon Wrapers,
Could you try and be a little louder?
Sincerely, I don't think the girl in the last stall quite heard what I was doing...
Dear "It's all in your head!",
Actually, you're completely right. Depression is a chemical imbalance of my brain, which is in my skull, so it IS inside my head. That just doesn't make it any less real.