Dear mom,
Stop getting mad just because I'm not pooping sunshine and rainbows all of the time.
Sincerely, I'm allowed to be grumpy sometimes.
Dear life,
I really wish you had theme music.
Sincerely, disappointed.
Dear bathrooms,
Please stop with all of the hand sensors, I'm not a Jedi.
Sincerely, just need to wash my hands.
Dear douche bag,
You're mean to gay boys, but think it's awesome when two girls make out?
Sincerely, confused.
Dear tampon companies,
Does the wrapper really need to be so loud?
Sincerely, didn't want the whole bathroom to know what's going on.
Dear slut,
Please control your whoremones.
Sincerely, that's MY boyfriend.
Dear fast food chains,
You really think 800 calories in a salad is healthy?
Sincerely, confused dieter.
Dear Netflix,
Please have a "Don't watch at night" warning.
Sincerely, can't fall asleep.
Dear world,
Spoiler alert: the main character dies.
Sincerely, The Bible.
Dear boyfriend,
If you really do mean it when you say "I'll love you forever," then you will find no problem with waiting until we get married.
Sincerely, your traditional girlfriend.
Dear SUV parked in two spots,
Not only are you killing the enviroment, you are also a douche.
Sincerely, keying your car.
Dear girls in Victoria's Secret commercials,
Yes, I also always wear stilettos with my lingerie.
Sincerely, not.
Dear person running after me,
I see you...
Sincerely, ice cream man.
Dear parents,
Cinderella taught me...
Sincerely, caught sneaking out.
Dear optimists,
You may have invented the airplane, but we invented the parachutes.
Sincerely, pessimists.
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