Dear military funeral protesters,
We fight for you too.
Sincerely, a Marine.
Dear men,
I couldn't care less if you leave the toilet seat up. Whatever prevents you from pissing all over the seat is fine by me.
Sincerely, a rational woman.
Dear America,
Tomorrow was awesome.
Sincerely, Australia.
Dear boyfriend,
When I asked why you love me, I was looking for something other than, "because you're hot."
Sincerely, your girlfriend.
Dear obnoxiously loud girl ordering pizza in the library,
I think I'll do some online shopping now.
Sincerely, thanks for announcing your credit card number to the world.
Dear pregnancy test,
How can you be so positive at a time like this?!
Sincerely, screwed.
Dear boy I happen to like,
Please stop going through my iPod. I don't want you to see my Backstreet Boys albums...
Sincerely, I was feeling nostalgic one night!
Dear humans,
Why are your newborn babies so freaking ugly?!
Sincerely, puppies.
Dear United States Citizens,
It's amazing what you will believe.
Sincerely, the Government.
Dear customers who look ashamed for using food stamps and a credit card to pay for one transaction,
Seriously, I'm a cashier at Kmart. I'm not judging...
Sincerely, broke too.
Dear hookers and strippers,
What is 'bring your kid to work' day like?
Sincerely, curious.
Dear student that finished the test in 5 minutes,
I HOPE YOU FAIL!
Sincerely, still on the first question.
Dear person asking what time it is by pointing to their wrist,
Is it that hard to open your mouth and ask what time it is?
Sincerely, I don't point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is...
Dear person knocking on the bathroom door,
I never know what to say to you...
Sincerely, do you want me to tell you I'm pooping?
Dear Ariel,
Crabs are such a pain to get rid of, aren't they?
Sincerely, Ke$ha.
THIS IS PAGE 1
