Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear boyfriend of almost 11 months,
Thank you for making a blanket fort with me in my living room, then laying in it with me and watching family guy.
Dear brotha,
Please, just drink my hot kool aid... I MADE THIS FOR YOU!
Dear "That's what she said",
Yeah, she did, but not to you...
Dear little brother,
It's not cool to untie the strings on my the back of my bikini; its not like a Christmas present.
Dear 10 year old,
Put down your iPad and go play outside!
Dear Lady Gaga,
All of your songs are about accepting yourself as you are, but I have no idea what you actually look like.
Dear americans,
BLOODY HELL!
Dear girls,
It would be easier to ask you out if you weren't always traveling in packs.
Dear eBook,
"Battery low!" is not what I want to read in the middle of the chapter...
Dear 30 open Internet tabs,
Which one of you is playing the music?
Dear Spiders,
Please stop making all your webs at face level.
Dear imagination,
There are times when I would prefer not to hear from you.
Dear guy who wants to get rid of the cookie monster because he "makes kids fat",
Please stop.
Dear Disney Channel,
If I were still alive I wouldn't even watch you...
Dear girls who make fun of virgins,
Have fun with your pregnancy tests while I excel at life.
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