Dear world,
My step daughter talked to animals, lived with 7 old men, let strangers into the house, and married a man who went around kissing dead girls. And you wanted me to let her rule my kingdom?
Sincerely, the not-so-evil queen
Dear Mom,
Just because I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years does not mean you can refer to his parents as "the in-laws"
Sincerely, you almost gave dad a heart attack...
Dear Disney Princesses,
How do you all speak English??
Sincerely, Belle is French, Pocahontas is Native American, and Ariel lives under freaking water.
Dear Mary Poppins,
We have been informed that you have used magic is front of muggles. Your trail is set for next Friday at eight.
Sincerely, the Ministry of Magic
Dear whoever stole my Amazon package,
I can understand why you'd need thirty rolls of toilet paper considering you are a huge a-hole.
Sincerely, your friendly neighbor.
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