Dear advertised medication,
"May cause diarrhea, itching or swelling of the throat, burning sensations, migraines, allergic reactions which may be fatal, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, and drowsiness."
Sincerely, I think I'll keep my cold thanks...
Dear Paranormal Activity,
I'm more scared that someone put cameras in your bedroom than all of those ghosts.
Sincerely, can't get to sleep now...
Dear people who say"Isis militants",
Finally someone who agrees with us
Sincerely, war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength. AKA 1984
Dear Winnie the Pooh,
Please remember you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think
Sincerely, Christopher Robin
Dear über deep teenage girls,
Don't judge me by the past, I don't live there anymore. Kisses!
Sincerely, Adolf Hitler
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Sincerely, It looks like Tigger murdered Pooh on my bed.
Dear "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve",
Please I think you should Adam and leave.
Dear kids at school,
Please stop acting like little kids. We're high schoolers, and there's no need to go around humping each other and pretending to slap the teacher's butt when she bends over to get something. Really? You guys suck.
Sincerely, a girl who actually goes to school to learn.
Dear University Professors,
I'm smart enough to get into this place, so help me understand why I pay so much money for tuition and textbooks and then you tell me I'll get my paper back when I get my paper back?!
Sincerely, Just give us our marks already!
Dear people staring at me while I walk a screaming child down the street,
Please I know she is sobbing and screaming about wanting to go home and wanting her mommy and daddy, but I swear I didn't kidnap her. I'm her babysitter, honest.
Sincerely, Please don't call the cops on me
Dear military older brother,
Please come home soon so that we can continue having light-saber fights and building pillow forts together.
Sincerely, your younger sister who loves you and thinks about you every day.
Paper cuts are the best revenge especially when you don't expect them.
Glitter is like herpes but safer
Sincerely, theater people
Really? You literally just said "I don't know any people with X chromosomes who play XBox"? You do realize that every single person on the planet has at least one X chromosome, right? It's actually essential to life/
Sincerely, someone who paid attention in biology