Dear Math Teachers,
Please stop saying "You won't always have a calculator"
Sincerely, Do you even go anywhere without your cellphone?
Dear high school self,
At college you have a laptop and your parents don't yell at you to get off the computer after 11:30.
Sincerely, and you thought YOU were sleep deprived.
Dear math textbook writers,
If you have to tell us how to pronounce the name, it's too much.
Sincerely, Etube (eh-TOO-bay) just isn't working out...
Dear Mom,
No, I do not need you to give me "the talk".
Sincerely, 35 and married.
Dear College,
Please tell me how I am supposed to graduate and get a good paying job when I can't even afford to finish you?
Sincerely, Poor college student with an outrageous bill.
Dear girl who hit my grandfather at a red light,
My grandmother was two months from retirement. She now has to work for another five years until she's 71. My grandfather loved that car, it was practically his baby. It's now in the junk yard. My grandparents no longer have a way to get around, and my grandmothers work is literally driving mentally disabled people to programs. She may now be fired. My brother, who was in the car you hit, has a concussion and my grandfather has a broken collarbone. Our health insurance won't cover it. We don't have enough money for food now.
Sincerely, All because you had to check your phone.
Dear Father,
Please realize I lost respect for you when I caught you watching porn
Sincerely, a very disturbed daughter
Dear Girls who want a guy in any kind of armor,
I'd rather have one in tie-dies and peace signs.
Sincerely, Why do they always have to be violent?
Dear brain,
Yes, he's cute. Yes, he is also friendly and has a great sense of humor. Now that you mention it, he's an absolute delight. But you're forgetting one detail.
Sincerely, can't you see that he's flaming gay?
Dear hollister,
I think you make enough money to have electricity.
Sincerely, $99.99 for a t-shirt?!
Dear "the corporations are taking over our lives",
A person can eat, sleep, work, outfit their house, apply for a credit card, get a haircut, and open a bank account without having to go to any other store than Walmart.
Sincerely, scared yet?
Dear people who are easily offended,
What you find offensive, I find funny
Sincerely, Happier than you
Dear face Tattoos,
At what point in your life did you decide that was a good idea
Sincerely, don't you want a job?
Dear Cicadas,
Please shut up, I understand that it has been 17 years but could you do that latera/
Sincerely, it's 5am and I still haven't slept
Dear manufacturers of feminine products,
Yes, yes- your brightly coloured wrappers look pretty, but I do not need tampons that look like candy, I need packaging that does not announce being opened to everybody of my side of the equator.
Sincerely, attempting to be discreet
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