Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear olive oil,
If you're made of olives, then what am I made of?
Dear peanut butter,
I think we should have some time apart.I just feel like I am getting in between you and bread.
Dear planking fanatics,
I plank in bed every night...
Dear America,
Yes, demoracy is great, except when the majority of people are idiots.
Dear guy who "slowed down" at the stop sign,
If I beat you with a stick, would you want me to stop or just "slow down"?
Dear America,
You make it too easy.
Dear woman in her fifties with arm flab.,
Put that tank-top down!
Dear innocence,
Sorry I have to leave you behind now.
Dear quicksand,
Why are you so slow?
Dear Hogwarts,
Please provide student exchange programs.
Dear short people,
No, I don't play basketball. Do you play miniature golf?
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Haven't you ever heard of sexting?
Dear guests at the waterpark,
Please stop asking if it's possible to fly out of the water slide. If it were possible, you wouldn't be let on!
Dear McDonalds,
I think I have to disagree...
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