Dear world,
How do mermaids reproduce?
Sincerely, lets think logically about this....
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Sincerely, bad puns.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Sincerely, Asians
Dear air freshener,
"Do not spray directly onto throat "
Sincerely, Dang...
Dear dad,
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Sincerely, What's that? You changed your' mind??
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
I'm sorry.
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Sincerely, Single
Dear Doctor,
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
Sincerely, my smile LITERALLY tripped you up.
Dear Headphones,
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Sincerely, Tired of Untangling
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Sincerely, "Hi how are you"
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Sincerely, you forgot to flush.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Sincerely, people of the Muggle world
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