Dear U.S. Government,
When hardcore criminals eat better than we do, there's got to be something wrong.
Sincerely, starving college students.
Dear everyone,
Upset, bored, angry, or hungry? I'm here for you.
Sincerely, the fridge.
Dear phone,
You can spell Byzantine but not noodles?!
Sincerely, this is a problem.
Dear finals,
You are worth HOW MUCH?!
Sincerely, why did I even worry about the rest of the class...
Dear guy friend who is always ready to listen,
Please know how much you mean to me.
Sincerely, You saved a life tonight.
Dear girls who spend $90 on Victoria Secret sweatpants,
They sell those at target for $10.
Sincerely, you're welcome.
Dear autotune,
You have nothing on me.
Sincerely, the shower.
Dear teenagers,
To avoid sleeping in, put a mouse trap on top of your snooze button.
Sincerely, works every time.
Dear Walmart,
If you're lowering prices everyday... How come nothing is free?
Sincerely, still waiting.
Dear Facebook,
Could you please add a "will die alone with 72 cats" relationship option?
Sincerely, 10 cats and counting.
Dear bouncers,
Please stamp my hand with something more water soluable.
Sincerely, trying to look professional on Monday.
Dear person that came up with "that's what she said",
Thanks for making it impossible to comment on the size of things.
Sincerely, referring to a sandwich, not a penis.
Dear spell check,
You'll never find me hear.
Sincerely, writing in a notebook.
Dear America's got talent,
Two of your judges are British...
Sincerely, how does this work?
Dear disney,
Please make a movie where the lead male isn't a handsome prince.
Sincerely, realistic men.
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