Dear 16-Year-Old Sister,
Why won't you tell me your boyfriends name?
Sincerely, I see the bruises on your arm and the way you flinch when I raise my hand...
Dear parents who bring their kids to the pool,
Please watch them...
Sincerely, I'm a life guard, not a babysitter.
Dear administrator who just took my phone away,
You just hung up the only call i get with my dad this month.
Sincerely, proud and aggravated military daughter.
Dear druggie people on food stamps,
Please stop buying all your munchies and junk food with my government money.
Sincerely, hard worker in your checkout line.
Dear people,
Please stop with the period jokes.
Sincerely, everyone's ovary acting.
Dear Brain,
So, you work 24/7 365 days of the year huh? ... Liar!
Sincerely, finals week.
Dear 15 year olds who get wasted every weekend,
I spend my weekends having Disney movie marathons.
Sincerely, 17 and still more mature than you.
Dear heartbroken girls,
Rejection hurts, I can help.
Sincerely, chocolate.
Dear boyfriend,
When I call you a dork, it's a compliment.
Sincerely, you're adorable and I love it.
Dear Beyonce,
When you were engaged to Jay-Z, did he call you his Feyonce?
Sincerely, please say yes.
Dear people everywhere,
Admit it. At least once in your life, you have tried to balance the ON/OFF switch.
Sincerely, guilty.
Dear everyone who calls people "pussies" when they're being "weak",
Vaginas are capable of pushing 8+ pound objects out of them, while penises can be injured by pretty much anything.
Sincerely, I think you have it backwards.
Dear teacher,
If you put me next to my friend, I'll whisper to her. If you put across the room, I'll shout to her.
Sincerely, your choice.
Dear fruity gum I put in the same pocket as my phone,
Thank you for making my phone 50% more awesome.
Sincerely, loving my strawberry-tangerine scented phone.
Dear boyfriend who just got glasses,
Just because I giggle when you wear them doesn't mean I think you look stupid.
Sincerely, a girl who thinks specs are sexy.
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