Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear boys,
Made you look!
Dear curious people,
No, the best part of being a twin is not sharing clothes. It's having someone to awkwardly look at while people are singing happy birthday.
Dear God,
Thanks for creating dreams. They make sleeping so much more fun.
Dear stepdad who's a cop,
There is no need to interrogate and give me a breathalyzer test every time I come home from a friend's house...
Dear textbook writers,
No, adding an exclamation point the end of a sentence doesn't make the content any more exciting or interesting.
Dear world,
No matter if you love Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, the Last Airbender, or Pokemon, let all fandoms coexist.
Dear better than the leading brand,
Then why aren't you the leading brand?
Dear boy who asked for my number over a six months ago and is just calling today,
Yeah right!
Dear people that wear their hearts on their sleeves,
That's a silly place to keep a heart.
Dear inventor of the keyboard,
Why did you have to make the 't' and the 'g' so close together?
Dear diet and exercise,
Please give me a flat stomach, not a flat chest.
Dear Microsoft Word,
I swear that glycolysis, phospholipid bilayer, and hydrophobicity are words...
Dear Math,
Numbers? No problem. Letters? Okay a little tricky. Greek symbols? No. Nobody wants to do this anymore.
Dear Universtiy of St. Andrews,
Please know that I'm only applying to you because you're a school in Scotland that used to be a castle.
Dear people saying Hunger Games is better than Harry Potter,
Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear over the sound of my interactive online game, record-setting amount of money that any book/movie franchise has ever made, and my freaking AMUSEMENT PARK.
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