Dear world,
Why is it that a woman walking around in a bra and underwear is scandalous but when she wears a bathing suit it's all OK?
Sincerely, I don't mind either, just wondering...
Dear parents who tell me their children can't watch TV,
You just made my job a lot harder.
Sincerely, babysitter out of ideas.
Dear Twilight,
Please tell me how Breaking Dawn will be rated PG-13 when Edward rips open Bella's uterus with his teeth.
Sincerely, worried.
Dear powdered donut,
Why do you have to make me look like a coke head?!
Sincerely, I just needed a snack...
Dear homecoming dress makers,,
Please make dresses in sizes other than slutty, extra slutty, and naked.
Sincerely, a girl with self-respect.
Dear teachers,
I don't have my hand raised, therefore I don't know the answer.
Sincerely, don't call on me.
Dear parents,
Please stop complaining to me about how much my schooling costs. You chose to put me in a private school...
Sincerely, it wasn't my decision.
Dear Beyonce and Jay-Z,
What will your kids last name be?
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear girls,
Did you know they called it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken?
Sincerely, thought you ought to know...
Dear guy who almost hit Bella with his car,
I've been on your team all along.
Sincerely, maybe next time.
Dear puberty,
Planning on hitting me anytime soon?
Sincerely, flat as a pancake.
Dear skinny jeans,
There really should be an age limit for wearing you.
Sincerely, grandma is off limits...
Dear customer who asked me which one would I recommend,
Of course the most expensive one!
Sincerely, I work on commission...
Dear parents,
When I ask for money for Christmas presents, I didn't mean gift certificates...
Sincerely, I can't pay rent with Target and Starbucks gift cards.
Dear teachers,
Why didn't I pee during lunch? Because that's when I was drinking... It doesn't go through me as fast it goes through you...
Sincerely, annoyed students.
THIS IS PAGE 1
