Dear boyfriend of almost 11 months,
Thank you for making a blanket fort with me in my living room, then laying in it with me and watching family guy.
Sincerely, I love you!
Dear brotha,
Please, just drink my hot kool aid... I MADE THIS FOR YOU!
Sincerely, Julian Smith.
Dear "That's what she said",
Yeah, she did, but not to you...
Sincerely, jerk.
Dear little brother,
It's not cool to untie the strings on my the back of my bikini; its not like a Christmas present.
Sincerely, shrieking teenage girl.
Dear 10 year old,
Put down your iPad and go play outside!
Sincerely, when I was your age all I had was imagination.
Dear Lady Gaga,
All of your songs are about accepting yourself as you are, but I have no idea what you actually look like.
Sincerely, funny, that.
Dear americans,
BLOODY HELL!
Sincerely, you just read that in an accent didn't you?
Dear girls,
It would be easier to ask you out if you weren't always traveling in packs.
Sincerely, shy.
Dear eBook,
"Battery low!" is not what I want to read in the middle of the chapter...
Sincerely, my paperback never did this to me.
Dear 30 open Internet tabs,
Which one of you is playing the music?
Sincerely, frustrated.
Dear Spiders,
Please stop making all your webs at face level.
Sincerely, AAHHHH!
Dear imagination,
There are times when I would prefer not to hear from you.
Sincerely, I will never be able to shower while I'm home alone again.
Dear guy who wants to get rid of the cookie monster because he "makes kids fat",
Please stop.
Sincerely, get rid of Ronald McDonald first.
Dear Disney Channel,
If I were still alive I wouldn't even watch you...
Sincerely, Walt Disney
Dear girls who make fun of virgins,
Have fun with your pregnancy tests while I excel at life.
Sincerely, your future boss.
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