Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Movie theaters,
The day you start checking purses for food is the day I stop going to the movies.
Dear guy on the bus watching my favorite movie ,
Thanks for noticing I was watching two seats away and for deciding to sit with me
Dear couple across from me at my table in the student center,
I know you have chemistry, but I really need to study mine.
Dear Ronald McDonald,
It's really sad that kids recognize you more easily than our president, or even a picture of Jesus.
Dear vegetarians,
My food craps on your food.
Dear red velvet cup-cake,
Kiss me, k-k-kiss me. Infect me with your loving, fill me with your poison.
Dear boy who asked me why I wear a bra because I have nothing to put in it,
Well, you wear pants don't you?
Dear mother starting to date again,
When did the parenting roles get reversed?
Dear Lady Gaga,
I lost a lot of respect for you when you called Adele fat. I thought you were anti-bullying?
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles,
Do your job!
Dear girlfriend,
Please be home next time I show up outside your window with a boombox and 80's music.
Dear parents,
When I said I was going to write a novel, I wasn't joking...
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Dear people who freak out about looks,
We all know it's whats on the inside that counts.
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