Dear Lady Gaga,
Please wake up.
Sincerely, Poke her face.
Dear Mini Cooper parked next to a van,
Dammit!
Sincerely, Thought I Had A Spot.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Please re-read Romeo and Juliet. I'm pretty sure they both kill themselves.
Sincerely, If only the world was the fairy-tale you sing about.
Dear Stephen Colbert,
Please stop being so friggen attractive. Your beauty and sexual appeal outshine the world in so many ways, I don't think it can handle it. Poor Jon Stewart. You really are making his life miserable.
Sincerely, Stephen Colbert.
Dear self,
Please stop deciding that midnight is the perfect time to start ambitious projects.
Sincerely, me.
Dear America's Most Wanted,
That sketch looks nothing like me...
Sincerely, Anonymous.
Dear Snooki,
Please stop... You're making us look bad...
Sincerely, Fellow Oompa Loompas.
Dear Sarah Palin,
Please tell us where you're looking from, because we can't see you.
Sincerely, Russia.
Dear Incredible Hulk,
There's got to be a better way...
Sincerely, Your torn shirts.
Dear Sweden,
Please send us your recipe for super hot girls. Our recipe doesn't seem to be working.
Sincerely, Great Britain.
Dear wax lady,
Please don't be offended if I have the need to call you bad names during our session. Trust me, it's nothing personal.
Sincerely, Waxed.
Dear Art Teachers,
Your job must be SOOOOO difficult...
Sincerely, Calculus Teachers.
Dear Dumbledore,
Did you get my text?
Sincerely, Umbridge.
Dear people in front of me in line,
Please take your time digging in your pockets for change so you don't end up with 3 more pennies. I'm in no hurry.
Sincerely, Anonymous.
Dear douche bag drivers,
Please use your turn signal on the freeway before you decide to cut me off going 80. That way I will know that you are about to do something completely retarded and I can improve my chances of survival.
Sincerely, Concerned Commuter.
