Dear people who say "suck my dick" when they're mad,
Why would you want someone you hate to suck your dick?
Sincerely, it never made sense to me
Dear people at my school who think they're "ghetto" and our town is "ghetto" also,
Please realize that if you really lived in a ghetto you couldn't afford the iPhone that your parents bought you.
Sincerely, girl who wants you to stop acting ignorant.
Dear Overly Affectionate Downstairs Neighbour,
Seriously? Are you not finished yet? Give your lady parts a break.
Sincerely, I'm tired of hearing you every night.
Dear boy talking about Jimi Hendrix,
Please know that the fact that you like the same music as me makes you 100 times more attractive
Sincerely, the girl who loves classic rock
Please stop coming in my room and stepping on my stomach
Please don't make me wake up early.
Sincerely, wish break would continue
I told you that I was scared to be in my own home because of your fiance and all you do is yell at me.
Sincerely, Daughter moving out and considering calling the cops for your own safty
Dear friends who took care of me while I was drunk and weepy,
Thank you so much for that...and for still being my friends afterwards.
Sincerely, I would do the same for you
I wasn't about to cry because you were scolding me about how awful my English grade is. I was about to cry because, for the first time every, you told me I have a gift for language.
Sincerely, I've been waiting for that my entire life
Dear people complaining about the new Cartoon Network shows,
You do know that they have at least half of the old shows on Netflix...
Sincerely, watching Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends all day
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a daughter.
Dear Republicans and Democrats,
Do you believe gay people have the right to bare arms?
Sincerely, a curious third-partier
"Easy-to-open package" my tushie!
Sincerely, girl on her period who needs the chocolate...NOW