Dear best guy friend,
We made a bet in highschool that we wouldn't last dating. I said two weeks. You said two months.
Sincerely, "I do."
Dear boyfriend,
When I say I wanna go see the muppets movie, its not code for lets make out in the back row for the whole movie.
Sincerely, I am VERY serious about my muppets.
Dear boyfriend,
Don't worry if that was a bad kiss, I have nothing to compare it to.
Sincerely, that was my first kiss too...
Dear early bird,
Go ahead and have your worm. By the time I wake up, the bacon should be ready.
Sincerely, sleeping in.
Dear college,
I am a left handed ginger.
Sincerely, so technically I'm a minority.
Dear freshmen girls in my apartment,
It's really not attractive when you get drunk and lose all control over your bodily functions. No one thinks you're cute with puke on your shirt.
Sincerely, get out of my house.
Dear extremely overweight women,
Please stop wearing clothes that would only fit if you were 100 pounds lighter.
Sincerely, can't get that out of my head...
Dear people in my life,
Please stop asking me if my girlfriend is the "husband" in our relationship. Just because I'm super-feminine doesn't mean she wants to be a man, or that I want her to be one, either. I date women for a reason.
Sincerely, an irritated lesbian.
Dear people who are on no carb diets,
I hope you realize that fruits, veggies, and dairy are all carbohydrates.
Sincerely, maybe you should take 9th grade biology again.
Dear teachers,
I'm pretty sure going to the bathroom is a necessity, not a priviledge.
Sincerely, can't hold it much longer.
Dear cut on my leg,
I got you from shaving. You don't need to make it look like a murder scene just went down in the tub.
Sincerely, It didn't even hurt.
Dear parents who say I sleep too much,
Wouldn't you prefer me staying at home and sleeping alone all day than going out and sleeping with boys?
Sincerely, your daughter who just wants to sleep in peace.
Dear newborn babies,
Welcome to our society. When you grow up, you will be judged on what you wear, which music you listen to, what you look like, how you act, who you hang around with, and on practically every other personal trait and imperfection about you, and you'll be made fun of for being who you are. Enjoy your stay.
Sincerely, society.
Dear people who make comments about fourth graders' relationship statuses on Facebook,
.....Why are you friends with a fourth grader to begin with?
Sincerely, concerned you're a pedophile.
Dear boyfriend,
You're eighteen, and still cover your eyes during kiss scenes?
Sincerely, amused girlfriend.
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