Dear dad,
Please don't put mom's old panties in the rag box.
Sincerely, just realized what I cleaned the grease off my hands with.
Dear New Orleans,
Seriously, I'm not allowed to tie my alligator to a fire hydrant?
Sincerely, where am I supposed to tie her now?
Dear toilet paper roll,
Why is it that I only notice you're empty when I need you the most?
Sincerely, stuck in the bathroom until someone comes home.
Dear boys on Xbox live,
If you're gonna cry about it, you should turn off your mic first.
Sincerely, the 15 year old girl who just kicked your butt.
Dear sunbathing "babysitters",
Maybe we should switch jobs.
Sincerely, the lifeguard that has to watch your little lunatic.
Dear women of the world,
Please be aware that we do not find UGGS attractive in any way, shape, or form. It looks like you kicked a pair of beavers in the face and they got stuck.
Sincerely, guys everywhere.
Dear fat person,
You smoke, too?! You're making it too easy!
Sincerely, Death.
Dear comma,
I know you want to slow down, but I think we just better stop.
Sincerely, period.
Dear cute guy on the guys' cross-country team,
Your wearing short shorts is going to land me in the hospital one of these days.
Sincerely, I ran into a tree on our last run.
Dear dog,
This game was your idea. Why am I doing all the work?
Sincerely, tired of "fetching" your ball from under the couch.
Dear worksheet,
Please don't have a backside, PLEASE don't have a backside!
Sincerely, dang it.
Dear Summer,
I know you're hot, but I've found someone cooler.
Sincerely, his name is Fall.
Dear girls,
We like you for your brains, not your body.
Sincerely, zombies.
Dear extremely hot guy waving,
Yeah, good morning to you too *wink*.
Sincerely, oh, you weren't waving to me.
Dear friends,
Is "you'd be interesting when you're drunk" a compliment, or should I take offense?
Sincerely, unsure.
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