Dear people who say "suck my dick" when they're mad,
Why would you want someone you hate to suck your dick?
Dear people at my school who think they're "ghetto" and our town is "ghetto" also,
Please realize that if you really lived in a ghetto you couldn't afford the iPhone that your parents bought you.
Dear Overly Affectionate Downstairs Neighbour,
Seriously? Are you not finished yet? Give your lady parts a break.
Dear boy talking about Jimi Hendrix,
Please know that the fact that you like the same music as me makes you 100 times more attractive
Dear cat,
Please stop coming in my room and stepping on my stomach
Dear school,
Please don't make me wake up early.
Dear Mother,
I told you that I was scared to be in my own home because of your fiance and all you do is yell at me.
Dear friends who took care of me while I was drunk and weepy,
Thank you so much for that...and for still being my friends afterwards.
Dear Dad,
I wasn't about to cry because you were scolding me about how awful my English grade is. I was about to cry because, for the first time every, you told me I have a gift for language.
Dear people complaining about the new Cartoon Network shows,
You do know that they have at least half of the old shows on Netflix...
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a daughter.
Dear Republicans and Democrats,
Do you believe gay people have the right to bare arms?
Dear Hershey's,
"Easy-to-open package" my tushie!
Dear annoyed Europeans,
We aren't all overweight.
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