Dear women on Valentine's Day,
Don't make us see "Fifty Shades of Grey". We will never live up to that!
Sincerely, Men everywhere who aren't handsome millionares with plenty of sex-pertise.
Dear religions,
If you want us to stay virgins, you should promote, not denounce, masturbation!
Sincerely, horny teenagers.
Dear Joseph,
It must have been the watermelon seeds I ate...
Sincerely, Mary (while unknowingly pregnant)
Dear fake ALS supporters,
You are not a good person when you do the ice bucket challenge. You're just a cheap person who gives into peer pressure.
Sincerely, Someone who donated money.
Dear movie,
I will allways be better.
Sincerely, the book
Dear world,
Thigh gaps aren't always sexy.
Sincerely, Spongebob
Dear college loans,
I.O.U.
Sincerely, every college student ever.
Dear Hitler,
Grow a real man's mustache!
Sincerely, Burt Reynolds
Dear Olaf,
I'm going to kill you!
Sincerely, Summer
Dear pharmaceutical companies,
Why do you name all your drugs like sci-fi villains?
Sincerely, Xarelto, Prozac, Xanax...
Dear Cards Against Humanity,
Thanks for making racism funny again!
Sincerely, Everyone who plays
Dear secretly gay people of the world,
Nobody should have to live in a closet. Come out!
Sincerely, Harry Potter
Dear hCG,
You make me sick!
Sincerely, Pregnant women
Dear Marvel, the tribute from District 1,
You killed a little girl. How Rue'd!
Sincerely, Katniss, Peeta and District 11.
Dear those that are seen as less than perfect,
"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."
Sincerely, Tyrion Lannister, the imp.
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