Dear over achiever,
You had to remind the teacher about our homework the day that I didn't do it?
Sincerely, I'm screwed.
Dear mom,
So... you're saying that I should NOT bring my pokemon cards to college?
Sincerely, are you sure?
Dear Queen Latifa,
Thank you for showing people everywhere that you don't have to be a size 0 to be beautiful.
Sincerely, everyone is beautiful.
Dear American high school students,
What exactly did you do in school the past twelve years?
Sincerely, the foreign exchange student who just helped you spell "president."
Dear Asians,
Please don't get offended when we can't tell whether you're Chinese or Japanese.
Sincerely, you can't tell whether we're Canadian or American.
Dear Doctor,
You hope to see me soon?
Sincerely, that's not very nice...
Dear Victoria's Secret,
Crotchless underwear? Seriously?
Sincerely, nothing is "secret" about that.
Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,
My only secret life consists of sleeping with a teddy bear, not every boy at my high school.
Sincerely, a real American teenager.
Dear preschooler,
What color is the slide again?
Sincerely, just wanted to hear you say "lellow" again.
Dear woman who got insulted when I asked if she worked here,
It's not my fault you decided to wear khakis and a red polo at Target.
Sincerely, your fault!
Dear people who have never been kissed,
Don't be sad you've never been kissed. Be glad you didn't waste it on the wrong person.
Sincerely, patience.
Dear tattoo,
Please be fake! please be fake!
Sincerely, just woke up after my first college frat party.
Dear teacher,
If I don't know how to spell it how can I look it up in the dictionary?
Sincerely, just help me out!
Dear police officer,
Have fun explaining why you just hit that parked car...
Sincerely, girl running with double D's.
Dear elbow,
Well, I just dislocated my shoulder... but I finally licked you!
Sincerely, just won the game.
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