Dear women on Valentine's Day,
Don't make us see "Fifty Shades of Grey". We will never live up to that!
Dear religions,
If you want us to stay virgins, you should promote, not denounce, masturbation!
Dear Joseph,
It must have been the watermelon seeds I ate...
Dear fake ALS supporters,
You are not a good person when you do the ice bucket challenge. You're just a cheap person who gives into peer pressure.
Dear movie,
I will allways be better.
Dear world,
Thigh gaps aren't always sexy.
Dear college loans,
I.O.U.
Dear Hitler,
Grow a real man's mustache!
Dear Olaf,
I'm going to kill you!
Dear pharmaceutical companies,
Why do you name all your drugs like sci-fi villains?
Dear Cards Against Humanity,
Thanks for making racism funny again!
Dear secretly gay people of the world,
Nobody should have to live in a closet. Come out!
Dear hCG,
You make me sick!
Dear Marvel, the tribute from District 1,
You killed a little girl. How Rue'd!
Dear those that are seen as less than perfect,
"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."
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