Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear lady who is talking to me,
I'm just nodding to be polite. I don't actually know what the heck you are talking about.
Dear math teachers,
Please stop saying "it's only four problems for homework..." Each question has 18 parts.
Dear girls on halloween,
You told me you were dressing up as a bunny. I dressed up as a bunny too...
Dear teachers,
I wouldn't mind if you took points off of my paper, so long as you wrote in the margin, "TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"
Dear virgin 15 year old girl,
Please don't give in to pressure. You're not alone.
Dear Mother,
"On purpose?" is not an appropriate response when I tell you I went jogging.
Dear 6th grader,
No, child. Just because your "boyfriend" forgot to text you back last night,doesn't mean you change your relationship status to "it's complicated."
Dear world,
If Pluto isn't a planet because it's a dwarf planet, are dwarves real humans?
Dear male teacher who gives detention for spending more than three minutes in the bathroom,
Have you ever timed yourself putting in a tampon and changing a pad?
Dear mommy,
Thank you for not being mad at me when I woke you up at 4am.
Dear neighbor,
You have curtains, use them.
Dear mom who just asked me if I know what 69 is,
Nope, no idea.
Dear illegal downloading site,
Why is sharing this on twitter or Facebook an option?
Dear puddle on the bathroom floor,
I really hope you're water...
Dear Victoria,
The secret is that there's nothing underneath the bra.
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