Dear lady who is talking to me,
I'm just nodding to be polite. I don't actually know what the heck you are talking about.
Sincerely, well, this just got really awkward.
Dear math teachers,
Please stop saying "it's only four problems for homework..." Each question has 18 parts.
Sincerely, that's 72 problems.
Dear girls on halloween,
You told me you were dressing up as a bunny. I dressed up as a bunny too...
Sincerely, why am I wearing 3x more clothing than you?
Dear teachers,
I wouldn't mind if you took points off of my paper, so long as you wrote in the margin, "TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"
Sincerely, that's how they do it at Hogwarts...
Dear virgin 15 year old girl,
Please don't give in to pressure. You're not alone.
Sincerely, a happy 22 year old virgin.
Dear Mother,
"On purpose?" is not an appropriate response when I tell you I went jogging.
Sincerely, no, I was being chased by gophers.
Dear 6th grader,
No, child. Just because your "boyfriend" forgot to text you back last night,doesn't mean you change your relationship status to "it's complicated."
Sincerely, seriously...?
Dear world,
If Pluto isn't a planet because it's a dwarf planet, are dwarves real humans?
Sincerely, curious.
Dear male teacher who gives detention for spending more than three minutes in the bathroom,
Have you ever timed yourself putting in a tampon and changing a pad?
Sincerely, I didn't think so.
Dear mommy,
Thank you for not being mad at me when I woke you up at 4am.
Sincerely, 15 year old who is still has nightmares.
Dear neighbor,
You have curtains, use them.
Sincerely, didn't need to see that.
Dear mom who just asked me if I know what 69 is,
Nope, no idea.
Sincerely, I am not having this conversation with you.
Dear illegal downloading site,
Why is sharing this on twitter or Facebook an option?
Sincerely, that's like calling the FBI and saying "Hey! Arrest me."
Dear puddle on the bathroom floor,
I really hope you're water...
Sincerely, changing my socks just in case.
Dear Victoria,
The secret is that there's nothing underneath the bra.
Sincerely, so much padding...
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