Dear Movie theaters,
The day you start checking purses for food is the day I stop going to the movies.
Sincerely, your prices are ridiculous,
Dear guy on the bus watching my favorite movie ,
Thanks for noticing I was watching two seats away and for deciding to sit with me
Sincerely, you get cuter by the second.
Dear couple across from me at my table in the student center,
I know you have chemistry, but I really need to study mine.
Sincerely, get a room.
Dear Ronald McDonald,
It's really sad that kids recognize you more easily than our president, or even a picture of Jesus.
Sincerely, I can't believe what we've done to our kids.
Dear vegetarians,
My food craps on your food.
Sincerely, I love hamburgers.
Dear red velvet cup-cake,
Kiss me, k-k-kiss me. Infect me with your loving, fill me with your poison.
Sincerely, hungry college kid.
Dear boy who asked me why I wear a bra because I have nothing to put in it,
Well, you wear pants don't you?
Sincerely, now what?
Dear mother starting to date again,
When did the parenting roles get reversed?
Sincerely, it's 11, you were suppose to be back by 10. Who is this guy anyway?
Dear parents,
Why?
Sincerely, Dick.
Dear Lady Gaga,
I lost a lot of respect for you when you called Adele fat. I thought you were anti-bullying?
Sincerely, she's a better singer than you too.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles,
Do your job!
Sincerely, teen girls everywhere.
Dear girlfriend,
Please be home next time I show up outside your window with a boombox and 80's music.
Sincerely, your cheesy, romantic boyfriend.
Dear parents,
When I said I was going to write a novel, I wasn't joking...
Sincerely, just got published.
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Sincerely, college rejection letter.
Dear people who freak out about looks,
We all know it's whats on the inside that counts.
Sincerely, Oreos.
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