Dear phone companies,
Please start making phones with breathalizers.
Dear user,
Your thirty seconds are up.
Dear cat,
Please stop attacking. I promise there isn't an entire colony of mice under the comforter.
Dear customers on the phone at the cash register,
I charged you an extra $5...
Dear brain,
Sometimes I wish you had a power button.
Dear men,
The quickest way to a mans heart is a large kitchen knife.
Dear super tasty animal crackers,
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
Dear car dealerships,
Do you do background checks on people who buy white vans?
Dear drivers-ed car behind me,
BRAKE CHECK!
Dear boyfriend that lives five hours away,
You really should clean your apartment before you decide to go on webcam with me.
Dear yoga pants,
Thank you.
Dear turtles,
When you lose your shell, are you naked or homeless?
Dear attention whores on Facebook,
If you think it's really that ugly, then why is it your profile picture?
Dear health teacher who just rewound the birthing video in front of us,
It's not suppose to go that way!!!! STOP!
Dear 2011,
Take it easy with the disasters, they still have one more year.
THIS IS PAGE 1
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