Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Facebook,
YouTube has a dislike button.
Dear drunk friend,
Thanks, I always thought that on a scale from one to jellyfish, I was jellyfish!
Dear Mulan,
Thank you for teaching us that not all women have to be saved by a prince.
Dear classroom next to mine,
Thanks for playing the dramatic music when I turned in my test.
Dear people who say being pale is not cool,
I'd rather be pasty white than oompa loompa orange.
Dear 15 year old boy buying condoms,
If you can't even look me in the eye without blushing, how do you plan on using those?
Dear occupy Wall Street,
Please get off the news so we can get back to the important things, like which celebrity is cheating on their spouse, and whether Angelina Jolie has adopted any more kids.
Dear Pillsbury,
Just because you write "do not eat raw cookie dough" on the box doesn't mean I won't.
Dear alarm clock,
I love to turn you off on a friday night.
Dear 2012,
Bring it on...
Dear Disney movies,
Please stop screwing with my emotions.
Dear keyboard ,
I'd tap that
Dear boys who think about girl sleepovers,
Please realize that we don't have pillow fights and make out with each other.
Dear Adele,
Thank you for proving that it's possible to be both famous and talented.
Dear girls who complain about not being a size 2,
Come and live in Australia, all our clothing starts at a size 6!
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