Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Domino's pizza delivery guy,
Thank you so much for wearing a cape.
Dear National Association of Procrastinators,
I see what you did there.
Dear Facebook,
I heard twitters replacing you. #suckstosuck #karma
Dear Viagra commercials,
Why do you show men surfing, running, and hiking?
Dear uterus,
Please stop throwing a tantrum just because I didn't get pregnant this month. It's getting old.
Dear parents who are afraid to leave me home alone,
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
Dear little brother,
No no, "condo" is short for condominium.
Dear Christians,
If you don't believe in evolution, then explain how my charmander becomes a charizard.
Dear pediatrician,
When I'm honestly concerned why my 6 month old can't laugh yet, please dont say "maybe you're not that funny."
Dear parents,
If my door was closed when you came in here, I expect you to close it on your way out.
Dear men,
Woman are not birds. Whistling at us won't increase your chances of us mating with you.
Dear insufferable "know-it-all",
Unless your name is God or Google, you do not "know-it-all."
Dear Will Ferrell,
Have you ever been in a movie where you weren't crazy?
Dear Jersey Shore Cast,
It's called 'Sun Kissed' not 'Dorito Raped.'
Dear world,
Help! I have a popular ginger, an A+ blonde, a ditzy asian and a bossy brunette in my class!
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