Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear 13 year old who just had a pregnancy scare,
Really?!
Dear girls at my school who dress like hookers,
Just because we don't have a dress code doesn't mean you should wear your work clothes.
Dear travel agency,
How much for a trip to Narnia?
Dear amazing looking boy who is single,
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
Dear cooking instructions,
Please tell me that "golden brown" comes after blackened.
Dear Grandma,
No one can convince me to be a lawyer. I'm going to be a scientist.
Dear Amanda Bynes,
You had a TV show with dancing lobsters. How did you not turn out like us?
Dear 2012,
Now that vampires sparkle, I think the next logical step is glow in the dark zombies.
Dear Facebook,
YouTube has a dislike button.
Dear drunk friend,
Thanks, I always thought that on a scale from one to jellyfish, I was jellyfish!
Dear Mulan,
Thank you for teaching us that not all women have to be saved by a prince.
Dear classroom next to mine,
Thanks for playing the dramatic music when I turned in my test.
Dear people who say being pale is not cool,
I'd rather be pasty white than oompa loompa orange.
Dear 15 year old boy buying condoms,
If you can't even look me in the eye without blushing, how do you plan on using those?
Dear occupy Wall Street,
Please get off the news so we can get back to the important things, like which celebrity is cheating on their spouse, and whether Angelina Jolie has adopted any more kids.
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