Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear guy staring at me as I am taking a tampon out of my purse,
Oh do you need one?
Dear gay community,
Please warn us that you are gay BEFORE we fall in love with you. Being smart, funny, nice, attractive, and a Thespian means that we are bound to love you.
Dear 13 year old cousin,
When I was your age I was blowing bubbles, not boys...
Dear ladies who blame their insecurities on Disney,
Vogue? Fine. Cosmo? Fine. Hollywood? Fine. Cartoon animation of fairytales? Not sure I follow your logic...
Dear kids making fun of my old cell phone,
Why don't we drop my phone and your iPhone from 4 inches off the ground and see whose phone is better then?
Dear life,
Why lemons?
Dear world,
3700 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
Dear guys with hairy chests,
Go ahead and take v-necks out of your wardrobe.
Dear cell phone inventors,
Please add a sarcastic button.
Dear Child complaining about long road trips,
Shut up! You have a DVD player and a portable game systems to keep you entertained!
Dear guy who asked "so what did you have for dinner last night? Rice?",
Just because I'm Asian doesn't mean I eat rice every day...
Dear people who call me gay for being in a play,
Your girlfriends panties and bra match...
Dear guy I randomly flirted with on the street,
Since when are you in my geography class?!
Dear men,
Girls (Gurls) - n. A highly sensitive animal that when scared will attempt to yell and scream to defend itself. It always seems to travel in a pack, and has mood swings approximately every 17 seconds.
Dear teacher,
Yes I WOULD like to go up there and teach the subject.
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