Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Salazar Slytherin,
Why exactly is the entrance to the Chamber Of Secrets in the girls lavatory?
Dear math teacher,
I don't care what F(x) is.
Dear sweet tooth,
Entire pints of ice cream should not be consumed at 10:30 a.m.
Dear everyone,
When life gives you lemons, make a dress with them.
Dear idiot parking,
The way you pulled in makes me wish your dad would have pulled out.
Dear British accent,
Thank you for making me 10x more attractive.
Dear older brother who got a new computer,
Uhhhh.....you forgot to clear your history.
Dear people against mixed-race relationships,
Sometimes it takes a black piece of paper to bring out the best in a white crayon.
Dear 3 year-old kid,
No, standing in the middle of the room and covering your eyes doesn't make you invisible.
Dear undercover FBI agent who discovered my friend's soccer coach was a pedophile,
We need more people like you.
Dear automatic faucets,
Respond to my movement!
Dear dorm lobby,
I think we will be seeing a lot of each other now.
Dear boys ,
Please tell us why your clothes are so much more comfy.
Dear girl who just told me a secret and said "don't tell a soul",
Fine, I'll tell every ginger I can find!
Dear lady wearing a shirt the same color as your skin,
You looked naked from my peripherals.
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