Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear student whose paper I'm grading,
I quote; "i thnk abraham linkin was som rndom guy, i guess. idk. he hd a funny ht. he shood c som1 abut tht............"
Dear Miss Universe Pageant,
Why are the winners always from Earth?
Dear enormously tall black football player walking by me,
That really made my day when your phone went off and Taylor Swift started singing "Our Song"
Dear loud popular people,
It's not that I'm quiet. It's just that you never shut up.
Dear impossible physics homework,
I would like to introduce you to one of my favorite inventions... the paper shredder.
Dear brother with low self-esteem,
You can't be ugly; you're related to me!
Dear dark spot in the corner of the wall,
Are you a spider or just a bit of fluff? I'll blow on it and see if you move.
Dear Vice Principal with a lisp,
FYI, none of your students take you seriously.
Dear pervert,
Yeah, that's what she said. But not to you...
Dear Grandma,
Thank you for saying "Yeah, like YOU'VE never done that" to Mum while she was screaming at me!
Dear 11 year old,
Really? Your weekend plans are to get your eyebrows waxed, buy makeup and text your boyfriend?
Dear girls who dress like it's Summer in the Winter,
HA!
Dear youtube song videos with lyrics,
Instant kaoroke night!
Dear art teacher,
Yes I did draw a picture. Of what you say? Well of a cow eating grass of course. Where's the grass? Uhm duh, the cow ate it all. Where's the cow? He left to go find some more grass.
Dear little sister,
Did you really ask if I was a "cereal" killer after I stepped on a cheerio.
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