Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear guy,
Wow. "You are much less of a witch than your sister" is such a great pick up line! I am so sorry I didn't give you my number.
Dear mom,
Please stop telling girls I bring over that I wet the bed until I was 16.
Dear pain killers,
Please start killing any time now.
Dear English teacher,
I thought you said Play-Doh.
Dear guy who "slowed down" at the stop sign,
If I beat you with a stick, would you want me to stop or just "slow down"?
Dear girls,
Just helping you reel in a vampire boyfriend.
Dear women who like "a man in uniform",
Does my black and white, striped uniform turn you on?
Dear friends,
Please stop trying to get me to smoke weed, I really don't want to do it.
Dear left handed guitarist,
Ha!
Dear friend who got her phone taken; so is now using mine,
Please delete the messages between you and your boyfriend before you give my phone back.
Dear Youtube videos that aren't available in my country,
It's not like I live in Antartica.
Dear pets,
Please do not step there!
Dear Dairy Queen,
Will you marry me?
Dear girls on my track team,
Please stop complaining about how small your boobs are.
Dear neighbor,
I'm not getting laid right now! You have such a dirty mind...
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