Dear teacher at my school,
Next time you're at the urinal next to a student, just don't say anything.
Sincerely, "whoa, your parents gave you a gift!"
Dear boy who opened the door for me,
I'm sorry that I didn't notice you and went through the other door. Thank you for chasing me down, dragging me back into the building with you and making me go through the door while you held it.
Sincerely, You made my life...and now I have a crush on you!
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear Boyfriend and Girlfriend,
I don't swim in your bed, so please don't have sex in my pool.
Sincerely, Lifeguards Everywhere
Dear Guy at my recital taking flash photography,
You know I have to be able to read my music right?
Sincerely, DEAR LORD I'M BLIND
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
Today in class the girl next to me was trimming her split ends and the two people in front of me were having a breath holding competition.
Sincerely, I'm in med school... Meet your future doctors.
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Sincerely, "Hi how are you"
Dear kid who came into my class late,
Wow, I love that your mom brought me a note telling me how your dog ate your homework. Actually, I was super excited and entertained by my first "dog ate my homework" note. Hilarious....but then I heard you telling your friends about how you taught your dog to eat paper....
Sincerely, your teacher who knows you are going places
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
Dear male gynecologist,
"Please remove your bottom underwear"
Sincerely, How hard is it to say panties?
You are just my oversized Sims game
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Sincerely, you forgot to flush.