When I told you that I'm a deep sleeper, I meant it as an explanation for sometimes not hearing my alarm clock right away. I did not mean it as permission for you to have sex with your boyfriend three feet away from me during finals week.
Sincerely, even the deaf couldn't sleep through that!
Yes he's black. No he's not my slave...
Sincerely, He's my boyfriend..
Dear ex boyfriend who gave my number out to people for "free sex",
That's alright, I have your iTunes password ;)
Sincerely, just spent $600 on music :)
Dear man on the train,
Please look before you sit
Sincerely, you weren't welcome on my lap
Dear broken iPhone,,
I did not want to text "Be there after sex."
Sincerely, guess I'll see you after sex, Mom.
Dear Judgmental Idiots,
Just because I'm slim, fashionably dressed, have a slicked-back hairdo, and a sexy accent, does not mean that I'm gay.
Sincerely, I'm French.
Dear mother who just yelled in a quiet store to get her daughter's attention,
Everyone is looking now, whispering and using hand motions isn't going to keep your conversation private.
Sincerely, Yes, I do think your daughter needs a new bra.
Dear boy who just told me that if I was in a detective movie that I would be killed first because "they always kill the pretty girls",
I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or terrified.
Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Chocolate lovers month? I see what you did there.
Sincerely, Black History Month
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Harry was a descendant of the 3rd brother from the group who made the Deathly Hallows. Voldemort was a descendant of the 2nd brother. This means that Harry and Voldemort were distant cousins.
Sincerely, talk about family feuds
Dear Girl flirting with my boyfriend,
Roses are red, violets are blue, he is for me, and not for you, so if by chance you take my place, I'll take my hand and smash your face.
Sincerely, he's mine.
Dear idiots who broke into our car for my mom's Ray Ban case,
How did it feel when you opened it and only found her prescription eyeglasses?
Sincerely, wish I could've seen your face
Dear Dad yelling at me that my pants are to tight,
Sincerely, I'm wearing sweat pants
Dear person trying to be politically correct by calling me "African-American",
Actually, I'm from Haiti...