Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Dad,
You always told me it's what's on the inside that counts, but you hate my black boyfriend?
Dear guys who say condoms are uncomfortable ,
So is child birth...
Dear friends picking on the new lesbian girl,
Well this is going to be an awkward "out-of-the-closet" speech.
Dear guy I have had a crush on since 6th grade,
No, you cannot suddenly like me now. It does not work that way.
Dear world,
It's called babysitting.
Dear YouTube,
Please stop showing me ads for a 2012 Jeep Liberty. I'm a broke college student watching a video about Harry Potter at 1PM on a Monday.
Dear male teacher who gives detention for spending more than three minutes in the bathroom,
Have you ever timed yourself putting in a tampon and changing a pad?
Dear coloring book,
Why did you include a picture with a mirror in it?!
Dear senior who just said I was hot,
I'm the girl who you called an elephant in 6th grade.
Dear guys walking behind me,
Yes, I have headphones on but I'm not deaf.
Dear girl at school in PJ pants,
So you didn't have time to slip on decent pants but somehow managed to straighten your hair and put on makeup?
Dear teachers,
So the bell determines whether we are on time or tardy, but we can't be dismissed by the bell?
Dear racist person at the tanning salon,
So, you don't like people whose skin is darker than yours, yet you want your skin to be darker?
Dear guy who tried to mug me,
Clearly you did not see the large, grizzly-like man I walked in with...
Dear audible internet ads,
You ruined the song I was listening to.
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