Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear cashier snickering while I buy a pregnancy test,
Yeah, cause I'm not freaking out enough.
Dear Spanish speaking lady behind me in line,
It isn't all that uncommon that white people in America speak spanish now...
Dear best friend,
I thought you said this was a girls night, so why is your boyfriend with us?
Dear musicians,
Please stop putting sirens in your songs.
Dear guys,
It's not always PMS.
Dear principal,
I'm not allowed to wear shorts or skirts past my fingertips, yet the cheerleaders are allowed to wear skirts up to their ovaries?
Dear roommate,
I think it's time your boyfriend starts paying rent.
Dear Mom,
Please stop telling me to lose weight and then refuse to cook healthily.
Dear football jocks,
You wear tights too...
Dear people against mixed-race relationships,
Sometimes it takes a black piece of paper to bring out the best in a white crayon.
Dear nurses,
Don't say the doctor will be right in if you don't mean it.
Dear internet troubleshooter,
"If the connection problem persists, please visit our website for more help..."
Dear purse snatcher,
I'll give you a 10 second head start.
Dear boyfriend who just made fun of the overweight girl,
Oh look! You're single.
Dear "best friend",
What did I do on Saturday? Oh, not much. It was only my BIRTHDAY.
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