SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear loving parents,
Thank you for not getting me the $15 birthday present I asked for and then buying yourself a $60,000 car two days later.
Dear bitchy girls on the bus making fun of the mentally disabled boy,
Please shut up. He's mentally disabled, not deaf. There's a reason he stopped merrily rocking back and forth and now just sitting still looking at his shoes.
Dear Father Who Stiffed Me Last Night,
I watched your kids 3 from 5pm to 3am last night so you could go to that wedding. We discussed my rate per hour. You really though you could bully me into not charging you? And you thought when I wouldn't leave without my pay it would be a good idea to slap me in the hotel lobby?
Dear Guy at My Lunch Table,
I have my own opinions, too. Did you really have to mention I should kill myself?
Dear ASPCA commercials,
Please stop pretending to be a victim when you killed an innocent dog named Oreo. A shelter was going to save him that afternoon, and you knew it, and you killed the dog anyway. Readers, google "Oreo's Law".
Dear parents of the triplets I'm babysitting for,
Please come home. It is 1:00 AM on a Thursday morning and I have to be up for school in six hours.
Dear neighbors,
Please stop letting your friends park their cars on our front lawn. I get that our doors are right next to each other but the street is literally five feet from my door. Walking the extra five feet won't hurt. My yard already looks like crap without your friends' tire tracks all over it.
Dear Parents,
Please love me
Dear classmates,
Please stop calling me stupid, I am trying. I really want to be smart too.
Dear frat house across from the practice field,
Please do not blast a metronome with a different tempo from what we're playing to screw us up. It was funny the first 5 minutes, not the whole hour and a half long rehearsal.
Dear People who's opinions I didn't ask for,
If you think 'paying to go running in a gym is stupid because you could do that outside' then kindly butt out. Last time I ran outside a man tackled me into the bushes and shoved his hand down my shorts.
Dear boy who stood up for me when I was getting bullied in 5th grade,
Bro, what happened?
Dear restaurant patron,
Not liking something is not the same thing as being "deathly allergic" to it. We can easily make you a dish without a given ingredient, don't try and start a panic just because you don't like the taste of your chicken peanut curry.
Dear boy I like,
Please stop messing with my feelings. I know you don't like me that way, so please stop kissing me and acting sweet and lovey-dovey one minute, and ignoring my existence the next.
Dear SENIOR sister who has three free periods,
Mom has the ER room night shift, and dad hasn't been home in years. I woke up at 5:00 to go for a run, make breakfast and lunch, finish studying for my chemistry test, then send our brother to school. You complain because I didn't do the dishes! Excuse me!
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