Dear airport security agent,
Did you SERIOUSLY AND FOR REAL just SWAT my six-months-pregnant belly and demand, "What is this?" I know it doesn't take a degree in rocket science to do your job, but how did you get this far in life without learning where babies come from?
Sincerely, We're both lucky I didn't lay you out for assaulting me
Dear man in line at subway,
Yes, all three of them are my daughters. Why would you tell me that you feel sorry for me? I don't need a son to be happy or proud.
Sincerely, I wouldn't want anything different
Please contact me with your test results. Mine were negative, but I'd love to know what you exposed me to. Oh, and thanks for accusing me of giving you an STD and then dumping me. You're right, "that shit doesn't just happen", but you didn't get it from me!
Sincerely, your STD free "slut"/ex-girlfriend
I filled out a job application for you and suddenly my inbox is being spammed like crazy. Seriously, how classless of you using job applications to get peoples' e-mails to sell to scam websites.
Sincerely, never going to Macy's again
Dear random guy,
I see your reflection in the window, stop staring at my ass.
Dear People who use "Retarded" as an insult,
My brother has multiple mental disabilities. When you toss around slurs like that, it hurts me.
Dear Upper management,
Please understand that when you say "everyone needs to leave in 30 minutes" that there is no physical way that the dish staff can do this. We usually don't even get the last dishes until the last possible second from the servers
Sincerely, a very frazzled dishwasher
Dear Opinionated TA,
Please shut up, I wasn't pressured into getting my nose done. And I'd do it again.
Sincerely, No Longer Pinocchio and I LOVE IT
Please realize that yelling at me and/or calling me names will only get me to do as little as possible to get you away from me.
Sincerely, Customer Service Rep/Sales Person/Anyone That Ever Has To Work With the Public
Please note that when there is a fire in the mall and everybody needs to evacuate, it means not only you, but the staff working in the shops too. The staff will not be there to process your returns and refunds, nor will they be there to run the cinema, no matter what your movie ticket says. This is for your safety, so get out and come back later.
Sincerely, the mall management staff who was nearly run over multiple times by shoppers who do not understand t
Dear parents of the gymnasts I teach,
Please don't expect special treatment for yourself of your child. You pay the same as everyone else and no, your child is not going to be the next olympian.
Sincerely, the underpaid and over stressed gymnastics coach
Dear customers at work,
Please stop calling me a good girl for doing my job
Sincerely, the throughly creeped out ADULT
I'm not even really offended. I just think it is terribly sad that your experiences have led to your first response to getting a big tip is to tell the customer that you are not a whore.
Sincerely, saddened customer
Please give me my card back. Telling me after you've eaten it that you are out service is not on.
Sincerely, I have no other money!!!