Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear perverted resturaunt customer,
Look at my face. My boobs aren't here to tell you this evening's dinner specials!
Dear sleeping girlfriend,
I was in the middle of breaking up with you when you dozed off.
Dear lesbian couple in my class,
So how does this work... you both make sandwiches for each other?
Dear burglar,
Please know that that "purse" you just stole was actually a diaper bag.
Dear cat that thinks the stove is a good place to sit,
Please be warned. If you keep sitting there I will have to assume you want to be cooked.
Dear girlfriend,
I really liked that sweatshirt, but oh, you can just have it. It's not like I spent a lot of money on it or anything. You go on ahead.
Dear ignorant person that told me that clarinets are gay,
Elton John is gay, a clarinet is a clarinet.
Dear creepy man at the gas station,
Just because I wear a Bob Marley wristband doesn't mean that I want to go to Jamaica with you.
Dear girls,
You complain that you can't take your shirt off on a hot day like boys can. But please know that you are more than welcome to.
Dear teenagers,
Don't have sex; you will get pregnant, and die.
Dear teenage girls,
If you have succeeded in copying our style and make-up. Congratulations!
Dear gummy worms,
If I cut you in half, will you grow a new body?
Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Dear multiple choice test,
...Why are the first eleven answers B?
Dear Americans,
You do realize that we have other names that aren't Raj, right?
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