My Pap test was awkward enough without you telling me what a nice job I did shaving..
Dear girl sitting next to me on the bus,
Thank you for sneezing right in my face.
Sincerely, I appreciate the efforts you are taking to build my immune system
Sincerely, you should be studying right now
Dear waitress judging me for ordering alcohol,
I'm not pregnant, just fat.
Sincerely, now get my drink
Please know how awed I was when you came up to the register with condoms, not have enough to pay for them, and come back up with saran wrap and rubber bands.
Sincerely, Made My Day A Whole Lot Better.
Please tell my brain that it's one AM and I don't need to be making beat box rhythms to my husbands snoring.
Sincerely, tired wife who is easily amused
Please don't ever tell me it's good for my face.
Sincerely, your dermatologist girlfriend
Dear Last Names,
If you were given to people based on what their jobs were, then where did I come from?
Dear person who just rear-ended me,
Thank you for singing "like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" When we got out.
Sincerely, don't worry, you're covered
You make me wet
Dear public school kids,
...and you think your sex ed is awkward
Sincerely, homeschooled with a pregnant mother
Dear boys who wear skinny jeans,
You took the phrase 'getting into her pants' the wrong way
Sincerely, girls everywhere
Dear Boy who held the door open for me,
I was so impressed by your chivalry, I didn't notice you were headed into the boys locker room.
Sincerely, A very red-faced girl
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Sincerely, either way we both get pretty high