Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear stressed people,
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
Dear guys,
Please stop complaining about girls being moody. You would be too if every 28 days your pants were a murder scene and your stomach felt like it was being stabbed.
Dear people who jokingly say they have Tourette's when they do something random,
I may randomly punch you.
Dear friend who invited me to go to the movies,
You could have mentioned that your boyfriend was coming too...
Dear girl yelling at me for trying to hold a door for her,
I was just trying to be nice...
Dear inconsiderate roommate,
If I wake up on my day off to your crappy rap music one more time, guess who's waking up to bagpipes at 7am?
Dear lady who doesn't know I'm in the bathroom too,
Please wash your hands... I heard that.
Dear optimists,
STFU! Just because there are people with Cancer doesn't mean I should be happy about Strep Throat!
Dear Ben and Jerry's,
How much money do you actually make on girls with broken hearts?
Dear sluts,
Please realize that booty shorts, suspenders and 3D glasses with the lens poked out do NOT make you a nerd.
Dear World,
I'm a guy and my best guy friend is gay, I like it that way.
Dear "Oh you just HAD to be there...",
Well, an invitation would've been a good start...
Dear world,
Please understand we don't all look like we came out of a Doritos bag.
Dear middle school girls on Facebook,
Addingg moree letterss doesn'tt makee you cuterr/smarterr/funnier/moree interestingg. In fact, it really just makes me want to hitt youu.
Dear guys talking about how their underwear supports their balls in class,
Yeah, and my favorite tampons are the ones that glide cause of the plastic.
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