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Dear roomie,
When I told you that I'm a deep sleeper, I meant it as an explanation for sometimes not hearing my alarm clock right away. I did not mean it as permission for you to have sex with your boyfriend three feet away from me during finals week.
Dear Great-Grandma,
Yes he's black. No he's not my slave...
Dear sister,
I'm not mad that you didn't get me a present; I'm just kinda disappointed that you forgot about my birthday...
Dear ex boyfriend who gave my number out to people for "free sex",
That's alright, I have your iTunes password ;)
Dear man on the train,
Please look before you sit
Dear Judgmental Idiots,
Just because I'm slim, fashionably dressed, have a slicked-back hairdo, and a sexy accent, does not mean that I'm gay.
Dear mother who just yelled in a quiet store to get her daughter's attention,
Everyone is looking now, whispering and using hand motions isn't going to keep your conversation private.
Dear boy who just told me that if I was in a detective movie that I would be killed first because "they always kill the pretty girls",
I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or terrified.
Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Chocolate lovers month? I see what you did there.
Dear Dad yelling at me that my pants are to tight,
Really.
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Harry was a descendant of the 3rd brother from the group who made the Deathly Hallows. Voldemort was a descendant of the 2nd brother. This means that Harry and Voldemort were distant cousins.
Dear Girl flirting with my boyfriend,
Roses are red, violets are blue, he is for me, and not for you, so if by chance you take my place, I'll take my hand and smash your face.
Dear idiots who broke into our car for my mom's Ray Ban case,
How did it feel when you opened it and only found her prescription eyeglasses?
Dear Kim Kardashian,
Please realize that my career on Dancing With the Stars lasted longer then your marriage.
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
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