Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Identical Twin Sister,
Maybe you should rethink saying "I'm so ugly" in front of me.
Dear wife,
When I told you I knew you were cheating, I meant on your diet...
Dear students,
I shouldn't have to be the one to apologize if pronounce your name wrong...
Dear Universities ,
He got in with all a 2.0 because he's black. She got in with a 2.8 because she's native American. Yet I have. 3.9 and I got the letter that started with "we are sorry to inform you..."
Dear tiny little cut from shaving my legs,
If you are so small that i can't see you, you aren't allowed to bleed like that.
Dear best friend staring at me in disbelief,
Yes, I do have a 4.0 grade point average, and yes, I am tied for first in the class rankings.
Dear highschool,
It's nice that you bought every single one of the our rooms a 10,000 dollar smart board projector, but I would have much rather had air conditioning.
Dear Elbow,
Our love may be forbbiden but we will one day be together.
Dear people who say "But women have given birth naturally for thousands of years",
Annndd millions of them died doing it.
Dear shaving commercials,
Please stop shaving already hairless legs. If you want impress us shave a gorilla.
Dear cute boy,
Sorry for your bloody nose. But to be fair, I DID warn you not to tickle me...
Dear guy who just stole my iPod,
Please enjoy the 5 gigs of show tunes.
Dear "Life is short ",
False. It's the longest thing you will ever do.
Dear girls who wear uggs and short shorts,
Please stop. It just makes you look like a weather confused slut.
Dear J.K. Rowling,
You actually showed what real teenagers do...
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