Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear dentist,
When you say "come on you're a teenage girl you can open your mouth wider than that" my jaw automatically dropped
Dear paranoid lady down the street,
No, my freckles are not there to keep track of all my visits with Satan.
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
Dear person yelling shotgun,
Rosa Parks
Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Dear Batman,
Do your tights chafe as bad as mine?
Dear Slutty Girls at School,
Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear?
Dear Dad,
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Dear America,
You know obesity is a problem when the scariest thing is called slender man
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Dear girl who says she has double D's,
You must be talking about your grades, right?
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear people who say that Mean Girls is the most quotable movie ever,
You obviously have never seen The Princess Bride.
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
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