When you say "come on you're a teenage girl you can open your mouth wider than that" my jaw automatically dropped
Sincerely, wow just wow.
Dear paranoid lady down the street,
No, my freckles are not there to keep track of all my visits with Satan.
Sincerely, why would you even say that?
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
Dear person yelling shotgun,
Sincerely, not getting up
Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Sincerely, Think about that one!
Do your tights chafe as bad as mine?
Dear Slutty Girls at School,
Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear?
Sincerely, Oh Wait!
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
You know obesity is a problem when the scariest thing is called slender man
Sincerely, Will Ferrell
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Sincerely, how does Casa Blanca sound?
Dear girl who says she has double D's,
You must be talking about your grades, right?
Sincerely, the smart girl who knows you stuff your bra
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Sincerely, "Hi how are you"
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear people who say that Mean Girls is the most quotable movie ever,
You obviously have never seen The Princess Bride.
Sincerely, Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.