Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear car with their brights on,
It's cool, seeing is overrated anyways...
Dear people against abortion,
You realize birth is the leading cause of death...
Dear Christian school,
You're saying tank tops aren't allowed because they're a distraction to boys?
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear student who tried the "My dog ate my homework" excuse,,
...the assignment was to submit an essay online...
Dear world,
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Dear Sleep,
Where are you? I thought we had plans for tonight? I hope I didnt scare you off when I told you that I loved you...
Dear touch screen,
Thanks for letting my crush know that I've been creeping on their Facebook profile.
Dear Emma Watson,
I understand why you quit school. I would get angry if every time I answered a question someone yelled, "10 points for Griffindoor!"
Dear Neville Longbottom,
After how crappy your life has been, I figured it was time someone was nice to you.
Dear Urban Outfitters Catalogue,
Who on earth goes hiking in the outdoors while wearing only a skirt, thick heels and a crop top?
Dear "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!",
No, but I do kiss your wife.
Dear Professors I asked a recommendation from,
Telling me to write it and you'll just sign it?
Dear tall people,
Watch out. We bite ankles.
Dear guy shopping with your girlfriend,
I saw that look you gave my girlfriend when she started talking about her bedazzled nerf gun.
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