Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear guy,
Wow. "You are much less of a witch than your sister" is such a great pick up line! I am so sorry I didn't give you my number.
Dear mom,
Please stop telling girls I bring over that I wet the bed until I was 16.
Dear world,
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Dear pain killers,
Please start killing any time now.
Dear English teacher,
I thought you said Play-Doh.
Dear dog,
This game was your idea. Why am I doing all the work?
Dear friends,
Please stop trying to get me to smoke weed, I really don't want to do it.
Dear left handed guitarist,
Ha!
Dear friend who got her phone taken; so is now using mine,
Please delete the messages between you and your boyfriend before you give my phone back.
Dear guy who "slowed down" at the stop sign,
If I beat you with a stick, would you want me to stop or just "slow down"?
Dear irritating teenage boys,
Our department didn't stretch to buying you calculators just so that you could write "boobs." Grow up.
Dear sunbathing "babysitters",
Maybe we should switch jobs.
Dear Dairy Queen,
Will you marry me?
Dear girls,
We like you for your brains, not your body.
Dear worksheet,
Please don't have a backside, PLEASE don't have a backside!
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