Dear "How would you like to die?",
I want to fall asleep peacefully, like my grandfather did.
Sincerely, not screaming in terror like his passengers...
Dear guy that asked me if I was free tonight,
Darn right I'm free.
Sincerely, this is America!!!
Dear "You're Beautiful size 2 or 22.",
Well this sucks.
Sincerely, Size 23
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Sincerely, Abercrombie and Fitch
Dear boy in my chem class,
Do you have 11 protons?
Sincerely, you are sodium fine.
Dear Mc Donald's ,
Thank you for not serving hot dogs, I don't think I could order a super-sized Mc wiener with a straight face.
Sincerely, a dirty mind
Dear professional bakers,
If a redhead owned a bakery, would that make him a ginger bread man?
Sincerely, just wondering
Dear girl in my English class,
"I always thought the right to bare arms was the right to wear t-shirts
Sincerely, you made my day
No, I do not need you to give me "the talk".
Sincerely, 35 and married.
Dear opportunist that drank the half empty glass of "water",
We never said it was water
Sincerely, you just drank arsenic...
Dear silent classroom,
LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.
Dear Health Teacher,
Thank you for informing us that "Consuming too much alcohol usually causes you to vomit out of your mouth."
Sincerely, really? Thought I vomited out of my butt...
Dear Boy sagging his pants,
If your going to do it, don't wear your sonic the hedgehog underwear.
Sincerely, Giggling group of girls
I love when you curl up next to me and fall asleep like this! You are so warm and cute and sweet and... what's that smell?
Sincerely, Thanks for farting on the car ride!