Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear genius ideas,
Stop coming to me right before I go to sleep.
Dear today's women,
FIRST comes love, THEN comes marriage, THEN comes a baby in the baby carriage.
Dear english teacher who just told me that Harry Potter isn't "written well",
How about YOU write a book "well" and we'll see how popular it is.
Dear teachers during fire drills,
I'm pretty sure if there was a real fire I wouldn't be silent or walking slowly in a single file line.
Dear mom,
You yell at me when I leave my shoes in the hall, but it's ok for you to leave your bra on the couch?
Dear scholarship committee,
No, really, look around. I am a minority.
Dear cellphones,
Thanks for ruining the fun of pushing people into pools.
Dear university that is emailing me,
Please make sure that your grammar and spelling is correct before you send out your letters to prospective students.
Dear smokers,
If you blow smoke in my face, don't act surprised if I spray Febreeze in yours...
Dear Hollywood,
So you're re-releasing Star Wars, The Titanic, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Monsters inc., AND Finding Nemo?
Dear nosy girl asking me when I was born,
On my birthday.
Dear high school girls,
When I see lingerie at Victoria's Secret that looks exactly like your homecoming dress, there's a problem.
Dear boys in the "friend zone",
At least it's better than being in the "douche zone."
Dear boyfriend,
When I said that the rain reflected how I was feeling, "Wet?" was not the correct response.
Dear boyfriend,
Really? WE'RE hard to buy for? You can get me perfume, chocolate, music, flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, t-shirts, a gift card, movies, or books.
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