Didn't think I'd hit you back this time,did you?
Sincerely, next time I'll knock you out.
So my brother isn't hungry for dinner and you yell at me, saying it's my fault. I haven't even seen him all day!
Sincerely, I just can't win
Please realize just because I'm a good student doesn't mean you have to grade my assignments harder then the rest.
Sincerely, frustrated student who got a C , while the dumbass next to me got an A for barely anything.
Dear best friend,
No, it's not ok to go see a movie with my boyfriend when I'm gone. Thanks for asking though
Sincerely, did you think I was gonna say yes?
Dear raging alcoholic grandmother,
Please quit starting random fights with me about how I don't acknowledge your existence, say thank you or come out of my "hole" of a bedroom. I act like this because everytime I try to say anything to you, you swear on the Holy Bible-that you don't even read-I'm giving you attitude or making faces behind your back. It's just the way my voice sounds, and my face looks. I'm a very deadpan kind of person, and if you cared enough to listen you would know that.
Sincerely, my head hurts, and my heart's been broken enough to not care anymore.
Yes, I am just buying my two girls ice cream, and no, my son doesn't get any. He has been throwing a tantrum this entire day, while both of my daughters have been well behaved, so they get rewarded with ice cream, and he doesn't. Please do not try and undercut my authority by giving him a cone anyway.
Sincerely, A mother who uses proper parenting techniques
Please stop telling me to eat healthy and to get more exercise. It hurts my feelings when you call me fat.
Sincerely, I'm trying, Okay!
Dear my dad's girlfriend who's staying with us,
Please stop blaming every wrong thing you do on your mental problems.
Sincerely, your boyfriend's teenager daughter who knows you smoke weed
Dear Dorm Douchebags,
How many times do I have to say, "I'm a lesbian" before you stop harassing me?
Sincerely, I wouldn't be interested even if I was straight
Dear "Best Friend",
Really? I can't have my best friend over because he is your ex? Oh and now you're ignoring both of us. Well that's fantastic. Really. I wonder how you're going to react when I told you he gave me a hug because of my great grandmother dying. Oh wait I didn't tell you she's dying because you never listen anymore.
Sincerely, Your "sister"
Dear dad yelling at me for putting my used female products in the trash can,
Where would you rather me put them instead?
Sincerely, under your pillow?
Dear Spanish teacher,
I really don't think it was necessary to tell me and my boyfriend to "get a room". Please calm down.
Sincerely, he literally just kissed my cheek.
Please realize that surreptitiously throwing away the condom I had in my medicine drawer while helping me pack to move to a new apartment is not an effective way of encouraging abstinence.
Sincerely, your (adult) daughter
Dear woman driving the car next to me,
Please stop painting your nails while driving. You almost hit me.
Sincerely, the woman in the car next to you.
Please realize that I quit because you were a terrible, miserly, autocratic manager who took your personal problems out on me. Know that venting the pent up rage from your home life on your employees is completely inappropriate. It is however, a great way to get them to quit! You also put me through financial hardship as well dude - and that wasn't cool either. Asking how my five other jobs are going is not you being polite. It's you being a jerk. Pay people a living wage. Life with 6 jobs sucks. It sucks almost as much as being insecure about your rent and next meal.
Sincerely, Got a better job the very next day