Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear bra,
You are not an appropriate wallet.
Dear people staring,
I am 15. The kid I am with is 8. Of course she's not my daughter. She's my sister. I was not pregnant at 7.
Dear jerks shouting obscenities from their car,
Why yes, I am a homo sapien. Thank you for your keen observation!
Dear teens who don't wait until they're married,
Even Sims wait until they're partners.
Dear whoever works with airlines,
Please don't put the fat people who fall asleep the whole flight in the isle seat.
Dear homophobic dad,
You hate gays? Phew, thank goodness, I thought I was in trouble.
Dear Bruno Mars,
How can you throw your hand in your pants, chill in your snuggie, and strut in your birthday suit all at the same time?
Dear Kermit,
You're right, it isn't easy being green.
Dear boys,
It's said that the most common way a woman kills a man is with food posioning.
Dear "teen paranormal romance" section at my bookstore,
Please stop.
Dear girls who go tanning,
Please realize that there is a difference between being tan and looking orange.
Dear kids,
You make us, and we make you!
Dear Pringles,
Do you want me to eat your chips or not?
Dear people incessantly saying "YOLO!",
Not if you're Hindu...
Dear people who write papers the day before they are due and get A's,
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!
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