You killed me just because you were jealous of my beautiful nose and luscious hair.
Sincerely, Severus Snape
Dear idiots who broke into our car for my mom's Ray Ban case,
How did it feel when you opened it and only found her prescription eyeglasses?
Sincerely, wish I could've seen your face
I am sorry to inform you that Dora the Explorer will no longer be needing your services.
Dear health teacher,
You paired the only two people up in the class who have never dated anyone, and told them to talk about past relationships?
Nice going, putting the "Junior Clothing", "Intimate Apparel" and the "Baby Essentials" sections all in a row....
Sincerely, I see what you did there....
Get well soon.
I assure you, no one's cell phone is actually ringing. It's simply on the TV.
Sorry I unfriended you on Facebook. I had 556 friends in total, and you know I'm OCD.
Sincerely, Somebody had to go...
Dear male hikers,
While you are still arguing over who gets to put their tent the flat spot, the only girl in the group has set up her tent, cooked her dinner, and is eating it by the fire she built.
Sincerely, I took the flat spot
I'd tap that
Sincerely, making some maple syrup
You should really think about doing background checks on new teachers
Sincerely, the new ones never seem to work out
You participating in our class discussions isn't helping anyone. Thanks.
Sincerely, Have to start remembering a snack
You're freezing NOW?!
Sincerely, my dad just walked in the room, CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE!!
Dear regular people,
Ok, you caught us. We've already invented a flying car. However, we are waiting to release it until you can handle driving on the ground.