Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
Sincerely, I'm not Christian, but I know this isn't right.
Dear everyone at school who thinks I didn't come to school yesterday because I was too hungover,,
I don't drink.
Sincerely, my cousin just died from alcohol poisoning.
You said you would change my grade, but it's been a week and my grade is the same. "Sometime soon" is not good enough.
Sincerely, student who needs that grade changed to keep her scholarship by a deadline
Dear step children,
Please mind your father. You constantly disrespect him and treat him like nothing more than a bank. It really hurts him badly and he's completely aware of what you're doing...
Sincerely, a concerned wife and step-mother
Dear people who say you can't fold a piece of paper more than seven times,
Yes, you actually can.
Sincerely, the Mythbusters proved it
Dear Cable Company,
I called to update my account information, not to listen to a 45 minute sales pitch.
Sincerely, What part of 'no' don't you understand?
Dear Mother whom I idolized,
You've taught me all 17 years of my life that drugs are bad, only for me to find out on Christmas you've been addicted to e-cigs the whole time.
Sincerely, Happy Fucking Holidays
Dear Married Men,
Because Me not being able to control my blood flow is TOTALLY grounds for you to break your marriage vows, cheat on someone you claim to love and commit an immoral, senseless and disgusting act.
Sincerely, Unmarried woman who would rather die alone than face that BS.
Why do you have 30 cash registers but 3 cashiers working them?
Sincerely, delegate the responsibilities better
Dear scumbags who spit tobacco into the sinks and toilets of my highschool,
Please stop. Its nasty. It doesn't make you cool, and it smells horrible. Though what really confuses me is how you all miss the toilet. Its a pretty big target after all.
Sincerely, everyone else
Dear old lady,
Please don't rant at me about "kids getting married too young these days,"
Sincerely, it's a purity ring, not a wedding band
You truly do have a sweet heart.
Dear "why does everyone hate me?",
Please recognize that your classmates do not hate you. We just don't tolerate you because you are racist, homophobic, and sexist.
Sincerely, you're the one doing the hating
Please let me thank you personally for adding ten minutes to my walk to class this morning
Sincerely, how do I explain to my professor I was stuck in walking traffic?
Dear idiot honking his horn,
Please take a look at the sign posted over the intersection, and also posted in bold to our right. Can you read it for me? "No right turn on red." Yep, now, take your head out of your ass and look at what color the light is. Yep, red. Finally, if you can't put two and two together, please look at the solid line of traffic driving past us, due to the fact that it is rush hour. Put all of those together, and it adds up to "No, I will not turn right, no matter how hard you pound on your horn!"
Sincerely, shut up!