Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear "How would you like to die?",
I want to fall asleep peacefully, like my grandfather did.
Dear guy that asked me if I was free tonight,
Darn right I'm free.
Dear "You're Beautiful size 2 or 22.",
Well this sucks.
Dear buyers,
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Dear boy in my chem class,
Do you have 11 protons?
Dear Mc Donald's ,
Thank you for not serving hot dogs, I don't think I could order a super-sized Mc wiener with a straight face.
Dear professional bakers,
If a redhead owned a bakery, would that make him a ginger bread man?
Dear girl in my English class,
"I always thought the right to bare arms was the right to wear t-shirts
Dear Mom,
No, I do not need you to give me "the talk".
Dear opportunist that drank the half empty glass of "water",
We never said it was water
Dear silent classroom,
LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.
Dear Health Teacher,
Thank you for informing us that "Consuming too much alcohol usually causes you to vomit out of your mouth."
Dear Boy sagging his pants,
If your going to do it, don't wear your sonic the hedgehog underwear.
Dear Puppy,
I love when you curl up next to me and fall asleep like this! You are so warm and cute and sweet and... what's that smell?
Dear men,
Please. Trojan extra-large condoms are made to fit most regular sized men to boost their confidence and ensure further purchased.
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