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Dear people of America,
I am a white, straight, gun-owning, conservative male.
Dear people who want a font specifically for sarcastic remarks,
If you need a font to make it sarcastic, clearly you're not very good at it.
Dear shoe,
Please make that squeaking sound again.
Dear headache medication warning labels,
"Side effects may include headaches."
Dear German exchange student,
Well, this awkward...
Dear guy who uses the phrase "I have something to tell you" before kissing a girl,
2 seconds of bliss followed by awkward silence.
Dear underage partiers,
Do you really think that when you post a picture of you at a party holding a beer can and blur out just the beer can that that suddenly makes a difference? Do you think we are all going "oh theres a little blurred out spot on the picture that just happens to be placed over everyones hand in every picture, well that couldn't possibly be a beer can. Nah, it was probably soda and they just didn't want people to know what kind."
Dear homophobes,
If all gay people go to hell, it's got to be FABULOUS!
Dear person who checks behind the shower curtain,
It's funny because I'm actually in your bedroom closet.
Dear movie theater usher,
What do you mean my bag smells like fast food?
Dear Rubik's Cube,
That was really easy! Oh wait...
Dear girls who use the period excuse every gym class,
I think you need to see a doctor if you have your period this much.
Dear slut,
Santa saw your picture.
Dear sticky white stuff on the floor,
Please be glue, please be glue, please be glue!
Dear Jersey Shore cast,
The only thing real about your "reality show" is the STDs.
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