Dear office manager at work,
What part of your brain told you "baggy eyes to go with your baggy shirt" was a compliment?
Sincerely, I just got over the flu
Dear teenage boys,
Just because we're female twins doesn't mean that we want to have a threeway with you.
Sincerely, grossed out
Dear "best friends" ,
Please continue to make your plans right in front of me. I'm sure I'll get the invite.
Sincerely, left out.
Dear teenage boy,
No, I did not shave my head because I wanted everyone to know i'm lesbian and open to lesbian sex, I did it because of my mother.
Sincerely, short-haired girl living with a cancer survivor
Dear friend who said "no offense" after you told me I was flat chested and looked like a six year old,
My bad, I didn't realize adding "no offense" makes it all okay.
Sincerely, no offense but you're a b-word.
Dear Mom,
Just because I am a lesbian, doesn't mean my meds aren't working..
Sincerely, This is who I am.
Dear girl that tries to hold hands with my boyfriend,
You have your boyfriend and I have mine.
Sincerely, Stick with yours, and we'll both be fine!
Dear Customer I am servicing at the Grocery Store,
Emotionally abusing me isn't going to change the fact your coupon is expired.
Sincerely, your cashier, not your punching bag.
Dear pregnant woman I saw smoking in the hospital parking lot,
"Shame on you" really just doesn't cut it.
Sincerely, the other pregnant woman who avoids your cloud of death like the plague it is.
Dear really thin asian friend,
When I feel insecure and ask you if I'm fat, please don't say "Well... you're skinny for an American"
Sincerely, That doesn't really help my self-esteem at all
Dear husband,
I understand that they are my cats, but this is your baby I'm carrying, and if you want to help reduce the risk of it dying, you can suck it up and help out
Sincerely, just clean the cat litter already
Dear Mother - in - Law,
My Mom invited you to brunch for Mother's Day with us so I could see both moms. All your daughters and their MILs are invited too. We wanted to include everyone.
Sincerely, I didn't think I was ruining Mother's Day.
Dear 6th grader I just walked by,
Where did you learn to speak like that?!?! That was the most racist, homophobic, swear filled sentence I've ever heard!!!
Sincerely, what happened to your generation?
Dear really creepy old man,
No, I would not like to get off at this bus stop with you.
Sincerely, scared out of my mind!
Dear family,
When you say "Stop being OCD."that's like saying to a cancer patient "Stop having cancer."
Sincerely, your OCD suffering daughter
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