Dear multiple choice test,
...Why are the first eleven answers B?
Sincerely, FREAKING OUT.
You do realize that we have other names that aren't Raj, right?
Sincerely, Indians everywhere.
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
What color do you turn when you're choking?
Dear [insert: current president here],
You suck! You're the worst president ever! The [insert: other party] would do such a better job! It's totally your fault that [insert: foreign power, gas prices, natural disaster, or lack of parking places] is ruining everything!
The only reason I make my boyfriend sammiches is because the last time he tried it himself, he set our apartment on fire.
Sincerely, Confused? So was I.
Dear "Did your mom pick out your outfit?",
Did your pimp pick out yours?
Sincerely, self-respecting individuals.
Dear natural resources,
Om nom nom!
Thanks for yelling at me throughout my whole childhood, it makes my former marine corps lacrosse coach look like he was talking to me sweetly.
Sincerely, you would have made a great drill instructor!
Dear upset, overweight woman,
Since we were both sitting in the OBGYN office I thought it was safe to assume...
Sincerely, oops, you were just waiting for a friend...
Dear guy who just called me a lesbian,
Yes I am.
Sincerely, your mom would know...
Dear Taylor Swift,
Guys will never want to date you if you keep singing about every relationship you have ever had.
Sincerely, just tryin' to help a sister out...
I'm not sure we can fix it...
Sincerely, Bob the Builder.
I know you'd never cheat on anyone!
Sincerely, but I think a Tiger Wood...