Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait....
Yes, this deer could be Bambi's mother, but that cucumber could be Larry.
Sincerely, I'll have venison, thank you very much
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Sincerely, Just saying
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Sincerely, 6-year-old daughter.
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Sincerely, yeah, I didn't think so.
Did you really just ask me if I wanted to go spin donuts in the local grocery store parking lot at 9 at night?
Sincerely, I like when mom is on vacation.
You so sure you wanna know what my boyfriend and I were making? OK, well, it starts with a 'P' and ends with an 'O-R-N'...
You should've made your nose a horcrux.
Sincerely, Harry would've never found it
Dear boyfriend asking me to prove my love,
I shave my legs in the winter for you.
Sincerely, is that enough proof?
Dear obnoxious people,,
"Why, yes I am 15. Yes, I am the pastors daughter. And, yes, this is my baby."
Sincerely, not really, I just wanted to see the look on your stupid face.
Dear friends who say I'm a good singer,
Please stop. I recorded my self and replayed it.
Sincerely, I sound like a dying animal.
Dear Boys who wish they could understand girls,
So do we.
Thanks for making me sit next to a hot boy on the day the pastor gives us a sex talk.
If you want me to be chivalrous, why did you invent automatic doors? What am I supposed to do? Leave my foot on the sensor for you?
Sincerely, a good guy