Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girl in my English class,
"I always thought the right to bare arms was the right to wear t-shirts
Dear Mom,
No, I do not need you to give me "the talk".
Dear opportunist that drank the half empty glass of "water",
We never said it was water
Dear Health Teacher,
Thank you for informing us that "Consuming too much alcohol usually causes you to vomit out of your mouth."
Dear Boy sagging his pants,
If your going to do it, don't wear your sonic the hedgehog underwear.
Dear Puppy,
I love when you curl up next to me and fall asleep like this! You are so warm and cute and sweet and... what's that smell?
Dear men,
Please. Trojan extra-large condoms are made to fit most regular sized men to boost their confidence and ensure further purchased.
Dear Facebook,
Oh, it's my sister's birthday today? I had no idea!
Dear Olympian Gods,
Start using protection. I mean, really. Has it ever turned out very well for you?
Dear Cat,
Please don't hide in the bathtub and jump out at me when I check for serial killers
Dear friend whom I don't know very well,
Please forgive me for being awkward around you. You didn't do anything wrong...
Dear everyone,
Please we get it, we dress awesomely. What do you think we spent all that time in the closet doing anyway?
Dear friends bragging how far they have gone ,
I walked all the way to the super market yesterday
Dear people who think women dress up to impress guys,,
If we dressed to impress guys we'd be naked.
Dear yoga instructor,
Yes, I see you doing it. No, I still believe it is physically impossible. I heard you say magic words before doing it, I know you're a wizard.
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