Dear Passerbys giving me dirty looks,
Yes, I am holding a baby that looks like me. Yes, I am with my boyfriend. No, she is not ours...
Sincerely, babysitting my adorable niece
Please remember that while you are bloated, cramping, and aching all over, we are scared, confused, and running out of places to hide.
Sincerely, Every Husband Who Ever Lived to Talk About It
You know carrots giving you night vision is a lie made by Americans in the Second World War so the Germans didn't know they had radars, right?
Just because I freak out when you walk in my room doesn't mean I'm hiding something.
Sincerely, Your 16-year-old daughter that isn't doing drugs, but rather just wants some privacy
I'm the reason anybody actually likes you.
Dear school sex ed,
Please instruct same-sex intercourse STD prevention. This penis condom isn't gonna help me much.
Sincerely, wary lesbian
If you only want their breasts, legs, and thighs, why not come here?
I'm sorry I squished you for so long, and it took me so long to get a fitting.
Sincerely, wore bras 6 sizes to small for 3 years.
Dear White teenage girls,
Please Stop wearing expensive rubber boots. Then refusing to step in puddles. C'mon you're fricken wearing river boots just do it!!
Dear Communist teacher,
I don't mind your political views, but just don't shove them on me.
Sincerely, A students who knows that there's more to American history than the cold war and red scares
Dear college professors,
Please think before assigning your senior level class a 7 page paper that is due 2 weeks before we graduate. We really don't care any more.
Sincerely, I have senioritis so have fun reading my shitty paper.
Dear 40 year old lady on the bus,
Please Sit straight like a normal person and not with your feet crossed while playing candy crush on your ipad
Sincerely, guy next too you with cramp on his left leg because of you
You don't get to call jobs requiring experience "entry level." Entry level means you enter the field with the job. If you have to have worked elsewhere, it's just a job!
Sincerely, frustrated job searcher
Please tell me why the heck we can't use ink? Even if it's an erasable type of ink?
Sincerely, One Confused Student