Dear Justin Bieber,
Oh you've designed your own perfume, and nail polish line?
Sincerely, do you really expect us to believe your straight?
Dear Dancing with the Stars,
Your name is really misleading...
Sincerely, expecting a science documentary about our milky way.
Dear witchy popular girl,
I would say, "I may be a nerd, but watch out, I'll be your boss someday," but I don't think that's gonna happen.
Sincerely, I don't plan on being a pimp.
Please wait until I leave the house to do your business. The 'going into your room and turning up the TV' trick is getting old.
Sincerely, your not-so-ignorant child.
A couple of planks of wood. Now stop asking me.
Dear iTunes ,
Really? $1.29? What's the extra .29 for? Shipping and handling?
Sincerely, a questioning customer.
Dear people that think the easter bunny lays its own eggs,
NO! It does not.
Sincerely, it runs an illegal magical chicken hatchery.
Please refrain from giving such small coutries such big names.
Sincerely, angry 6th grade student with a map quiz on Eastern Europe.
I'm so glad I can write embarrassing, intimate details of my life and nobody will ever read them.
Sincerely, Anne Frank.
If you're are classified as a fruit, then is ketchup technically a smoothie?
Dear public school kids,
Please invite me to a party. A real one. With boys.
Sincerely, all-girls private school.
Dear Stephanie Meyer ,
So you based Twilight off of a dream? "It does not do to dwell on dreams..."
Sincerely, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Dear "money can't by you happiness",
That may be true, but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini.
Dear couple in line at Walmart,
Don't you think you should of bought the condoms first?
Sincerely, laughing at the pregnancy test hiding under the box of condoms.