Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Period,
Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait....
Dear Vegetarians,
Yes, this deer could be Bambi's mother, but that cucumber could be Larry.
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Dear dad,
Did you really just ask me if I wanted to go spin donuts in the local grocery store parking lot at 9 at night?
Dear Mom,
You so sure you wanna know what my boyfriend and I were making? OK, well, it starts with a 'P' and ends with an 'O-R-N'...
Dear Voldemort,
You should've made your nose a horcrux.
Dear boyfriend asking me to prove my love,
I shave my legs in the winter for you.
Dear obnoxious people,,
"Why, yes I am 15. Yes, I am the pastors daughter. And, yes, this is my baby."
Dear friends who say I'm a good singer,
Please stop. I recorded my self and replayed it.
Dear Boys who wish they could understand girls,
So do we.
Dear God,
Thanks for making me sit next to a hot boy on the day the pastor gives us a sex talk.
Dear Society,
If you want me to be chivalrous, why did you invent automatic doors? What am I supposed to do? Leave my foot on the sensor for you?
Dear Dad,
Please don't cover my eyes when watching a scene in a movie where there are girls dancing in bras and underwear.
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