Dear Ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend,
Cute, you wore his shirt to school. Guess he didn't tell you I used to sleep in that shirt with nothing underneath.
Sincerely, Enjoy your sloppy seconds
Is a Dwarf still a human? That's what I thought.
Dear Lifesaver candies,
Your name is really ironic right now!
Seriously?! He kidnaps me numerous times, and you INVITE HIM GO-KARTING?!
Dear navigation system,
You always bring me through the ghettos and sometimes tell me to drive into lakes.
Sincerely, I know you're after me....
Please continue to glare at me through the window just because we are closed.
Sincerely, I find your anger hilarious
Dear monsters inc.,
mike and sully live together, adopted a human, and came out of the closet
Sincerely, draw your own conclusions...
Dear mom who just screwed up my medical form,
So I have asthma bronchitis cancer and I'm pregnant?
Sincerely, 15 year old boy who is confused how he got pregnant
Dear young girls walking in a row at the mall looking down at their phones,
Sincerely, yes, I could have warned you sooner but I enjoyed watching you walk into that bench.
Dear girl coughing obnoxiously in class,
Please note that we all helped to sneak the cough drop across the room so that you could shove it in your mouth.
Sincerely, why did you give a confused look and throw it in your bag!?
You can't say bubbles angrily no matter how hard you try.
Sincerely, ...you just tried, didn't you?
Dear Kay Jewelers,
Every kiss does NOT begin with K.
Sincerely, peck, snog, make-out, smooch, and French
Dear erotic novels,
what part is considered the climax of the story?
Sincerely, a VERY curious english student
Dear Jersey Shore,
If I wanted to watch talking carrots I would've watched Veggie Tales.