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Dear neighbor,
Please , feel free to call the police to report me "attacking" your dog. I have a picture, on my phone, of your mutt biting my ankle and of the bite marks that got through my pants. I'd love to see that little rat get put down.
Dear babydaddy,
Please stop assuming that I had a baby to stay with you (despite of the fact that I moved away). You are doing him a disservice by holding on to that. He's a perfect little boy, whom you should be proud of. You won't be the only person who regrets that you're taking him for granted.
Dear customer,
I know this is hard for you to understand, but the directions we gave you were perfectly clear on how to set everything up. The fact that you ignored them because you "knew they weren't right" is your own damn fault, and we are not going to compensate you for being an utter moron.
Dear Tumblr,
Please stop ranting about privilege and dramatizing everything.
Dear dads friends,
Please realize you give me the best stories to tell my friends.
Dear boys,
Never ask a girl if she is PMSing
Dear people who say "have fun working at McDonald's",
It's more work than one would think and some of those people wouldn't be able to get a job there in the first place
Dear Bill Nye,
Thanks for ruining some awesome school memories with your know-it-all, smirking views on religion.
Dear School Board,
You close the district for five inches of snow, but you won't now, even though we have over a foot and are expected to get more?
Dear Women,
You can either have us open doors for you and pay the entire tab for dates, or have us respect you as equals and earn what we do. Most of us really don't care which one it is. But, you can only have one. Please choose, and stick with that choice.
Dear 'popular' people,
Please stop wearing our clothing because you suddenly think its "cool".
Dear customer,
You're right, your needs are much more important than my own. But, the great thing is that all of the other customer's collective needs are far, far more important than yours could ever be. So, it doesn't matter how much of a tantrum you throw, I'm still kicking you out for disturbing the other patrons.
Dear guys on tinder,
Pics of you with your arm around a girl does not exactly help your chances.
Dear Slow Robot,
Please ban pictures of spiders from the site
Dear females in movie who strike out at men in anger,
Please explain why it's alright for you to smack a guy when you're angry with something he did but he can't do the same to you? If he is not allowed to touch you when you do something apprehensible, why are you allowed to strike him when he does something similar? Just because you're a woman who can 'handle herself' doesn't mean you have the right to resort to physical violence to get your point across, especially if your behavior is just as unacceptable. If he's mad at you, he's compelled to express his displeasure verbally and not resort to violence. Why can you type of females not offer that same courtesy to a male when you get mad at him? I know not every female in movies do that, but the ones that do just create a big turn off to me.
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