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Dear whoever just pulled the fire alarm,
Are you aware that it's 2 degrees out?
Dear people who use arguments from Leviticus for and against homosexuality,
Pretty much everything in Leviticus is now ignored because it is in the Old Testament, which Jesus said was no longer applicable. However, 1 Corinthians 6 is against homosexuality, and because it is in the New Testament, people follow it.
Dear friend who needs help with her project,
Yes, I have been playing piano for sixteen years. No, that does not mean that I can learn a seven minute song by ear in one night.
Dear boy,
If you dare call my friend fat again I will castrate you with a machete.
Dear best friend's mom,
You don't deserve to have him for a son. He has done nothing but overcome the obstacles you've placed in front of him, while you sit on your ass and criticize every decision he makes. He's twenty, let him live his life on his own. He did it for two years.
Dear creep staring at my butt in the gym,
You're in for a shock when I turn around.
Dear Ex-Bestfriend,
If I was fine without you before I met you, I will be fine without you now. People come and go.
Dear Old Lady across the street,
Please stop glaring at me as I push a pram up the street
Dear Readers,
Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to go down on you. And you're gonna love it. But it's only going to be long enough for you to start enjoying it, then I'm going to come back up and screw you, big time.
Dear Everyone,
That 70's Show was aired in 1998. If we made an equivalent show now, it would be called That 90's Show.
Dear Hogwarts,
Do you only send your acceptance letters to British people?
Dear customers,
It is not my job to be bubbly and happy every second of my 8-hour shift...
Dear School Bully,
Did I tell you that I started taking Karate?
Dear Overly Affectionate Downstairs Neighbour,
Seriously? Are you not finished yet? Give your lady parts a break.
Dear people who think J. K. Rowling can write another book for the harry potter series,,
Please realise that she can't because of quite a few things. 1. She tied up everything around the number 7 and she can't go and ruin it. 2. Also writing another book would go against the last three words of Harry Potter book 7: "All was well."
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