Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear sex scenes in movies,
Wow that spot on the floor is very interestng!
Dear Angry Birds update,
Thanks for waiting until after finals.
Dear girl who sits next to me in class,
I just saw you type LOL but you didn't even laugh..
Dear guys who ask why girls go to the bathroom in pairs,
You are going to face a troll by yourself?
Dear person in my class,
Its not that I don't like you, but let's just say if you were on fire, and I had water... I'd drink it.
Dear "It is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while commiting murder",
What about the whole murder part?
Dear Dorothy,
Listen, I just wanted my sister's shoes. It's the least you could do after you murdered her.
Dear Hollister ,
How am I supposed to choose clothing when the lights are so dim I can't see any of your merchandise. Wait a minute, is this your strategy?
Dear world ,
You think 7 years for breaking a mirror is bad? Try breaking a condom!
Dear Rachel,
I can't concentrate on my test when you randomly burst into song to express your feelings.
Dear horrified sister,
Why are you looking at my browser history?
Dear Grandma,
Please stop telling me I look older everytime you see me
Dear midwife who just fainted during my first child's birth,
Where did you go to school!?!?
Dear 7th grader who hit on me during 5th period lunch,
I told you I was a teacher. Now do you believe me?
Dear Mark Twain,
Thank you for being the funniest man to ever walk the planet!
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