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Dear medication commercials,
"If you experience death, please contact your doctor immidiently."
Dear boys,
Please understand, we think about sex a lot too.
Dear girls,
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm making a sandwich, do you want one too?
Dear parents,
I'm so sorry, but I need to get this off my chest. I was home alone with my boyfriend, and, well...I disobeyed you. I know you've told me time and time again to never do it, and you always tell me how wrong it is, but we couldn't resist. We had everything we needed. And, it wasn't my first time, either. ...the taste in your mouth is something you'll never forget. I can assure you though, it won't affect my health. I feel terrible for going against your rules, but I can't promise that it won't happen again.
Dear voice recorder,
Who's that!?
Dear kids of today,
You will never know the feeling of pushing a VHS tape into a VCR.
Dear hipsters wearing glasses with no lenses,
TWO FINGER EYE POKE!
Dear people of the modern world,
Please forgive us for not finishing our calander. We were kind of distracted by the Europeans killing us.
Dear older brother,
Please don't tell my hot date you have a shotgun, shovel, and 200 acres.
Dear "Which came first the chicken or the egg?",
In the summer of 2010, a group of british scientists discovered that the protein that created the eggshell, ovocledidin-17, was only found in chickens; proving that the chicken came first.
Dear 6 year old baby girl,
Thank You for pointing your marker at me screaming "AVADA KEDAVRA" when you got mad at me.
Dear people who think the Harry Potter books go against the Christian belief,
Harry escaped death when he was a baby. When he was a young boy, he realized he was destined to destroy evil. When he grew older, he realized he needed to die. When he did die, he came back to life and conquered evil.
Dear "All the good guys are gay",
Are you kidding me? All the good guys are straight!
Dear "size doesn't matter",
Yes it does.
Dear France,
I'm so glad that your word for shower is "douche." I still laugh every morning.
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