Dear mom,
Just because I want to go shopping does not mean you can start yelling at me for being spoiled and pampered. I haven't gotten new clothes for 2 years.
Dear YouTube,
Please stop giving me ads for weight loss.
Dear teachers,
Please stop giving me such a hard time. My parents are divorcing, my dog's going to the pound, everyone calls me fat and ugly, and I have straight F's.
Dear cashier,
Yes, I am just buying my two girls ice cream, and no, my son doesn't get any. He has been throwing a tantrum this entire day, while both of my daughters have been well behaved, so they get rewarded with ice cream, and he doesn't. Please do not try and undercut my authority by giving him a cone anyway.
Dear Mom,
I don't like that you're secretly dating a priest. You're literally replacing my father with a Father.
Dear girl screaming at the bus driver,
Are you blind, or just stupid? The bus driver won't open the doors because we are in the center lane at a stop light, not at a bus stop.
Dear family,
Please stop telling me that I don't want to go to the pool because I have low self esteem in a bathing suit.
Dear guys smoking outside of the University of Minnesota's Physics and Nanotech Building,
A campus-wide smoking ban was just approved a few months ago, and you are clearly on campus. And even if you weren't, you just saw how I had to stop and pull out my inhaler because I was choking on the fumes.
Dear "your parent should take care of you not the other way around",
I'm glad you got to live in a perfect family. Not everyone is that lucky. If I didn't take care of my mom, no one would. Don't tell me what my life is supposed to be like when you have no idea what I go through every day.
Dear Best Friend,
I really don't appreciate you being on your phone the entire time I'm with you. I get that you have a boyfriend but I haven't seen you in 3 weeks I'd like to actually have a conversation with you.
Dear boyfriend,
Sorry I sent you a text when you clearly wanted to be alone, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.
Dear "can't you see we're talking?!",
Yes, I can. I can also see that you are standing in front of the store I want to enter, and that you just glared at me when I asked you to please move. So, yes, I am just going to push past you.
Dear girl best friend,
I go dress shopping with you, take you out to eat whenever you want, hang out with you 4 times a week, go to all your sports meets, talk to you on the phone every night, and will leave a party to comfort you when you're crying. We've shared a kiss but that was when I was trying to make another relationship work when I was trying to get over you. And now that it is over I ask you to prom and you say no because it would be weird for your ex. Don't act like you don't know why I cried last night.
Dear friends,
Depression isn't contagious.
Dear Spanish teacher,
I really don't think it was necessary to tell me and my boyfriend to "get a room". Please calm down.