Please don't tell me things that I don't want to know. Such as that my Great Grandma died my bed.
Sincerely, I'll take the couch
Dear "you're culturally appropriative",
Yes, 50% of my diet is Chinese food, and I picked up certain Cantonese phrases (mainly swear words) that I use on a daily basis. I work in a Chinese restaurant, you twat, what did you expect?
Sincerely, a white girl just trying to get by
Dear Tail Gater,
The closer you get behind me the slower I will go. The car in front of me is doing the speed limit and I don't want to crash into them if they slam on the brakes.
Sincerely, Irate careful driver
Dear girl at the bar,
Please understand just because I was in the marines does not mean I support war, guns and killing people.
Sincerely, I had a 4 year contract and I was enough of a man to see it through
Dear Writer's Block,
Please leave me alone. I have so many ideas, but they just won't go down on to paper. I just want to write.
Sincerely, A Disgruntled Author
Please let me live my life. I don't need a curfew and am too broke to move out.
Sincerely, your 19 year old who wants to spend time with her boyfriend
Dear angry family,
I know I shouldn't be smoking and raising a kid. I'm trying to quit. I've smoked since I was thirteen, quiting is hard.
Sincerely, A young, heavy smoking dad
Even if I were interested in weed, my sister once touched some and broke out in hives everywhere. Her allergic reactions have only gotten worse since then. I'm not playing genetic roulette by putting that stuff in my lungs!
Sincerely, NO THANK YOU!
I thought you said that music was your life and I was the melody? Did you skip a beat because suddenly I'm not with you.
Sincerely, Your ex
Dear guy in the library,
Please stay the same. Thanks for screaming "Oh no! Dobby's closed the platform! However will we get back to Hogwarts?" when i accidentally ran head first into a wall
Sincerely, you just made my day.
Please realize that I am responsible for your health and happiness IN THAT ORDER! So stop complaining when I make you do things like use the bagel cutter instead of a giant knife.
Sincerely, your frustrated counselor
Dear only 90's kids can own the original Disney shows or movies,
Shouldn't you be glad that they're actually watching original Disney? Shouldn't you be happy that they're not watching Jersey Shore, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, or some crap like that? The movies were made for everybody, not just 90's kids. Let them enjoy it. Not just one generation owns the good Disney.
Sincerely, a fellow 90's kid.
Please realize that even though I miss your old girlfriend of five years, I will eventually warm up to your new one.
Sincerely, your sister who supports your decisions
Why are we more focused on changing beauty standards to be inclusive than trying to promote the idea that one's self worth shouldn't stem from their appearance?
Sincerely, people are more than their perceived beauty