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Dear three year old masquerading as a grown woman,
Yes, it is annoying to have to wait in a long line. That doesn't mean you are entitled to try and shove your way to the front, or to stomp, scream, and throw a tantrum on the floor when the proprietor sends you to the back of the line.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please don't give us homework and say that it's due the next day, and then when we turn it in, say it isn't due. Last time you did that, I didn't get home until late due to a fire at my theater, and I had hours of science homework on top of a very stressful day.
Dear everyone who says I must miss being able to walk,
I miss being able to piss and crap normally even more. NOTHING works below my injury. N O T H I N G.
Dear Air Force Doctor,
Please don't ask someone else at processing "Well, you weren't wanting to be a pilot, I hope?"
Dear everyone who overdramatizes,
When you say, "my life is over" because you have to go to a certain class, that I may add, you signed up for, don't expect me to be sympathetic. When you say, "I was so ready to kill myself," when talking about a test you failed, and I just walk away, holding down tears, don't act offended. Suicide is real, and other people have real problems. Get over yourselves.
Dear Smartphone,
Please remember to notify me when I have missed calls and several voicemails. Also, please stop randomly shutting off whenever you feel like it.
Dear woman who came in 5 minutes to closing,
Yes, it is too late to get deli meat.
Dear Rose,
And I suppose… if it's my one last chance to say it I…
Dear Mom,
I don't want to be 80 sitting in a rocking chair on a porch left to my thoughts to wonder what could have been for hours on end. No matter how many times you say I'm not good enough, I'm going to try.
Dear Bible-thumping mother,
Please realize that if you try to keep me from eating pork because "the Bible says it's bad," then you have to follow ALL the laws of Leviticus. Those include not wearing fabrics made from more than one material (like that lovely cotton/poly blend you're wearing at the moment), not cutting your hair or shaving (how much did you spend at the salon on that trim yesterday?), and not letting different kinds of cattle graze together (I can count three breeds hanging out on our ranch right now). So, for the love of all that's holy, shut up and let me eat my bacon.
Dear guy in the stall next to me,
Coughing to cover-up the sound of you wanking it doesn't help.
Dear people staring at me,
Please stop. I have to wear this "school girl" outfit. I didn't choose to wear a plaid skirt and Oxford shirt. I go to a Christian Academy
Dear fellow student,
Your science fair project was which object fell the fastest?!?!
Dear Downstairs Neighbor,
Please stop attempting to poke a hole in your ceiling to my floor.
Dear financial aid office,
Thanks for letting me know i'm not qualified for aid until AFTER i've already decided this was where i wanted to go. We just sold the car to pay for our down payment.
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