I ate a unicorn today. It was tasty.
Dear vegetarians who try to force their choice on everyone,
Please realize that your diet is your choice, and you don't need to lament when someone eats meat while around you.
Sincerely, vegetarian who realizes that I've made a decision for myself, not the rest of the world.
Please leash your dogs on walks. Your dog is small but wants to kill my large, leashed dog. If it gets here and bites her, it won't survive.
Sincerely, just because it's small doesn't make it safe
Dear ball organizers,
Please do not serve food that stains, gets stuck in teeth and whips around your mouth when you try to eat it when everybody wears fancy gowns and rented tuxedos. Spaghetti in tomato sauce, green salad with orange dressing and bbq ribs, seriously?
Sincerely, my dress is ruined and I am sure I have parsley stuck in my teeth.
Dear government peoples,
Please don't cut funding to the public libraries. They are an island of tranquility and learning in an insane world.
Sincerely, things are crazy right now
Please stop cooking my flesh. I kind of need that, and it doesn't even taste good.
Sincerely, The blister, peeling, limping, "lobster" girl.
I don't care what your gender is.
Sincerely, I'm calling you sweetheart.
Dear younger students stressed about exams,
Please enjoy these years, exams really don't matter! Now excuse me while I go and stress about A Levels
Sincerely, a sixth former who wants to help
Dear stores like Victoria's Secret (and even Walmart),
Please sell lingerie for men. Some girls like tight boxers or tight muscle shirts and some guys want to turn on their ladies.
Sincerely, girls can't always be the sexy ones
Realize that someone who is pro-choice does not necessarily think that an abortion is not killing a fetus. I'm a science geek and know how early life functions start with an embryo. I'm still pro-choice, not because I think the killing of a fetus is the best, but because sometimes a woman needs a choice. Sometimes it's in the best interest for the baby and parents. Abortion should not be the first choice, but it should be a choice.
Dear People who are mean to fat people.,
Please dont tell fat people that they jiggle when they run. They know that, thats why they're running!
Sincerely, BFF to the jiggly people
Please "If you don't have an iPhone, well, you don't have an iPhone."
Sincerely, Tautology Much?
Please stop exacting revenge because I didn't give you a baby
Sincerely, girl in som serious pain
Dear Asperger's kid at school,
I know it must have been hard for you to hand out flowers to everyone you passed on campus today. But you dont know how much smiling at me and telling me how pretty I was meant to me. You might have saved my life.
Sincerely, no longer suicidal.