SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Air Force Doctor,
Please don't ask someone else at processing "Well, you weren't wanting to be a pilot, I hope?"
Dear woman who came in 5 minutes to closing,
Yes, it is too late to get deli meat.
Dear everyone who overdramatizes,
When you say, "my life is over" because you have to go to a certain class, that I may add, you signed up for, don't expect me to be sympathetic. When you say, "I was so ready to kill myself," when talking about a test you failed, and I just walk away, holding down tears, don't act offended. Suicide is real, and other people have real problems. Get over yourselves.
Dear idiot riding my bumper behind me,
don't hit me car, don't hit my car, don't hit my car,
Dear Smartphone,
Please remember to notify me when I have missed calls and several voicemails. Also, please stop randomly shutting off whenever you feel like it.
Dear Rose,
And I suppose… if it's my one last chance to say it I…
Dear Mom,
I don't want to be 80 sitting in a rocking chair on a porch left to my thoughts to wonder what could have been for hours on end. No matter how many times you say I'm not good enough, I'm going to try.
Dear Bible-thumping mother,
Please realize that if you try to keep me from eating pork because "the Bible says it's bad," then you have to follow ALL the laws of Leviticus. Those include not wearing fabrics made from more than one material (like that lovely cotton/poly blend you're wearing at the moment), not cutting your hair or shaving (how much did you spend at the salon on that trim yesterday?), and not letting different kinds of cattle graze together (I can count three breeds hanging out on our ranch right now). So, for the love of all that's holy, shut up and let me eat my bacon.
Dear guy in the stall next to me,
Coughing to cover-up the sound of you wanking it doesn't help.
Dear people staring at me,
Please stop. I have to wear this "school girl" outfit. I didn't choose to wear a plaid skirt and Oxford shirt. I go to a Christian Academy
Dear idiot that jumped my back fence to take my new puppy,
I bet you didn't realize that I had a protection trained Rottweiler in my yard too.
Dear lady in my apartment downstairs ,
Stop screaming at your 7 year old son
Dear Downstairs Neighbor,
Please stop attempting to poke a hole in your ceiling to my floor.
Dear financial aid office,
Thanks for letting me know i'm not qualified for aid until AFTER i've already decided this was where i wanted to go. We just sold the car to pay for our down payment.
Dear girl who called me fat,
I may be fat now, but I can change. You will always be mean.
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