Dear women and werewolves,
Please stop fighting over who has the worse 'time of the month'. I think we win.
Sincerely, female werewolves.
Please stop using the saying "Till the cows come home"
Sincerely, We live on a farm... They are home.
Dear 2 year old ,
Thank you for yelling IM RAINING while you are potty training
Sincerely, amused older sister
Dear Nutella I just got on my elbow,
Thanks for the help. Turns out all you need is proper motivation.
Sincerely, Licked it.
Dear silent classroom,
LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.
Dear guy friends who just decided to search my purse,
Congrats, you found my tampon stash.
Sincerely, your face was pricelessxD
Dear Tim Burton,
Why do you always have me killing your wife in movies?
Sincerely, Johnny Depp
Dear person checking behind the curtain for serial killers,
DO YOU MIND?!?
Sincerely, serial killer trying to take a shower
Dear people who take Bible verse out of context,
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.
Sincerely, Mike Wazowski
Dear Yankee Candle,
Seriously? Candles for men?
Sincerely, and what exactly is a touchdown supposed to smell like?
Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Sincerely, man wearing his wife's yoga pants at the grocery store
Dear Channing Tatum,
PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
Sincerely, ...said no one ever.
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
Sincerely, completely embarrassed for laughing that hard
Dear apologetic people,
Usually "my bad" and "I'm sorry" mean the same thing... Except at funerals.
Sincerely, choose wisely.