Please stop calling flip-flops "thongs". I die a little every time you ask for them.
Sincerely, modern-day grandaughter
You so sure you wanna know what my boyfriend and I were making? OK, well, it starts with a 'P' and ends with an 'O-R-N'...
You should've made your nose a horcrux.
Sincerely, Harry would've never found it
Dear boyfriend asking me to prove my love,
I shave my legs in the winter for you.
Sincerely, is that enough proof?
Dear obnoxious people,,
"Why, yes I am 15. Yes, I am the pastors daughter. And, yes, this is my baby."
Sincerely, not really, I just wanted to see the look on your stupid face.
Dear friends who say I'm a good singer,
Please stop. I recorded my self and replayed it.
Sincerely, I sound like a dying animal.
Dear Boys who wish they could understand girls,
So do we.
Thanks for making me sit next to a hot boy on the day the pastor gives us a sex talk.
If you want me to be chivalrous, why did you invent automatic doors? What am I supposed to do? Leave my foot on the sensor for you?
Sincerely, a good guy
Please don't cover my eyes when watching a scene in a movie where there are girls dancing in bras and underwear.
Sincerely, I'm a girl; I see that in the mirror every morning.
Dear People overusing the word "friendzoned",
you haven't been friendzoned until you actually tell them you like them.
Sincerely, you're just in the no balls zone
Dear History Teacher,
Kind of ironic I failed my presentation by not being loud enough.
Sincerely, it was on the Fifth Amendment, the right to remain silent
If I answer the home phone it's a pretty clear indication that I am, in fact, at home.
Sincerely, Why did you ask?
Dear online website that asked if I was human,
What do you think I am?
Sincerely, a tiger with thumbs
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Sincerely, Ginger with no soul