Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear insecure guy on top of me,
Please stop asking if I "like that." If I didn't, I wouldn't still be under you.
Dear homophobic boss,
If being gay is such a disease, can I call in sick for the rest of my life?
Dear Mulan,
Does it concern you that he fell in love with you while you were a man?
Dear girls who take pictures with their toilets in the backround,
Please stop, it's really not sexy.
Dear nature photographers,
How is it that you are that close to a bird without it taking off? Or next to a lion without it biting your face off?
Dear single people on Valentine's Day,
It's not the end of the world. You still have 10 months....
Dear girlfriend,
What did you expect to happen when I was drunk around your twin sister!?
Dear boy who's dating my sister,
If you break her heart figuratively, I'll break yours literally.
Dear pet,
Please don't take this too hard, but...
Dear Social Life,
She's mine. You can have her in two weeks.
Dear high school girls,
Is that a skirt, or did you just pull down your tank top?
Dear teachers,
If you want us to be quiet, just give us something to color. It works every time.
Dear annoying people,
Hashtags are for Twitter not Facebook.
Dear "I never wear condoms",
I would be concerned, but your hand can't get pregnant.
Dear guy wearing a batman shirt carrying around his toddlers ,
Carry on with the awesomeness.
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