Dear Little Mermaid,
I think you being my favorite childhood movie is why the thought of eating fish disgusts me.
Sincerely, oh my gosh Mom, you just ate FLOUNDER!!!!
Please know when you gave me "the talk" and offered me $5 for every year i'm a virgin you could've atlease offered 10.
Sincerely, $5 is a rip off.
Sincerely, the world.
Dear tooth fairy,
My teeth are now $20 a-piece!
Dear Justin Bieber,
Oh you've designed your own perfume, and nail polish line?
Sincerely, do you really expect us to believe your straight?
Dear AP calculus,
It was easier understanding Inception...
Dear male wrestlers,
You really chose the wrong sport...
Sincerely, male cheerleaders.
Dear older sister,
As you leave for college I have something important to say: Finders Keepers!
Sincerely, rapidly expanding wardrobe.
Sincerely, I actually heard you. I'm just giving you a chance to change what you said.
Dear neighbor looking out the window at the wrong moment,
Well. This just got awkward.
Sincerely, dancing alone in the kitchen.
Dear Stephen King,
You're a jerk.
Sincerely, scared to go to sleep.
Dear Edward Cullen,
You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.
Sincerely, Peter Pan.
If women were in charge, there wouldn't be wars. Just a bunch of countries not speaking to each other.
Dear "I get 10 times more girls than you",
10 x 0 = 0.