Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear web MD symptom checker,
"Abdomen pain made worse by swallowing chemicals or poison?"
Dear marshmallow and graham crackers,
Three way?
Dear MC Hammer,
I can touch that...
Dear Twilight,
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Dear 'when life gives you lemons',
Squeeze them in the wounds of your enemies.
Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too!
Dear girls making kissy faces,
You're just jealous.
Dear Santa,
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Dear Adele,
Writing whole albums about boys who break hearts is kinda my thing....
Dear Rihanna ,
Chains and whips excite us too.
Dear humans,
How can you sweat like us when we don't sweat?
Dear PE teacher,
How did I get a C?
Dear Americans,
Isn't it amazing what we can do when the PlayStation network is down?
Dear companies that thought fancy packaging would make more people buy the product,
Mission accomplished!
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