Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear health teacher,
How does it feel to know that the kids in your class know more about having sex, Illegal drugs and alcohol than you do?
Dear weight loss ad,
Wow! Not only does your diet plan make people look thinner, but it changes their race and age too!
Dear nosy girl asking me when I was born,
On my birthday.
Dear person who overheard my conversation,
I am not racist. I was talking about jelly beans.
Dear "are you pregnant?",
NO! ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!
Dear facial acne,
Why do you always have to resemble large landmarks?
Dear roller coaster,
Isn't it kind of ironic that your name is Storm Runner but when there's a slight drizzle you shut down?
Dear School,
You can make us watch childbirth in Biology but we have to get our parents permission to watch an R rated movie for any other class.
Dear everyone,
Whenever love songs start making sense to you, you're in big trouble.
Dear customer who is buying a package of condoms and a pregnancy test,
Yes I am judging you.
Dear teachers,
I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to assign homework on important national holidays.
Dear guys whose girlfriends are models,
Please make her a sammich.
Dear Oreo,
What gives you the right to call yourself "milk's favorite cookie?"
Dear epic dramatic movie music,
Thank you for making me feel like I'm running away from killer robots while I go for my morning jog.
Dear School Zones,
Please increase your speed limit. I've heard of more kids being abducted than hit by cars near schools. The last thing need is an increased amount of time to scope out the area.
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