I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Sincerely, It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday...
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Sincerely, boom roasted!
Dear world ,
Please be aware, that, if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, you won't get approximately 9 3/4 of the jokes we make.
Sincerely, See what I did there? Nope? Read Harry Potter.
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
Dear baby stroller package,
Thank you so much for reminding me that the baby in picture is not included with the stroller. Without that I would have been very disappointed...
Sincerely, ...said no one.
Dear guys everywhere,
No, sir, your balls are not bigger then mine. Mine were so big that they had to be put on my chest to avoid chaffing.
Sincerely, a classy lady.
Dear people who like nerdy jokes,
The past, present, and future walk into a bar...
Sincerely, it was tense
Dear driver with a "Love Animals Don't Eat Them" bumper sticker,
I do love animals. Especially pigs.
Sincerely, bacon is a gift from heaven.
Dear late periods,
OH MY GOD I MIGHT BE CARRYING THE NEXT JESUS
Dear Hunger Games,
Wait, wait, wait. If they're on camera all the time, when do they pee?
Sincerely, ...well that's awkward
Dear parents writing their will,
I promise that comment was not directed at you. There was a beetle in the carpet.
Sincerely, DIE FOUL CREATURE!!!!!!
Dear little boy,
When your mom asked you what you wanted to drink, I was not expecting you to say "booze".
Sincerely, amused waitress
Dear awkward silence during test,
Sincerely, stomach of the kid who is now being stared at.
Thanks for not bleeding every month