Dear web MD symptom checker,
"Abdomen pain made worse by swallowing chemicals or poison?"
Sincerely, yes, everytime I have a dose of bleach and cyanide.
Dear marshmallow and graham crackers,
Dear MC Hammer,
I can touch that...
Sincerely, Chuck Norris.
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Sincerely, could she choose neither?
Dear 'when life gives you lemons',
Squeeze them in the wounds of your enemies.
Sincerely, survival of the fittest.
Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too!
Sincerely, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
Dear girls making kissy faces,
You're just jealous.
Sincerely, the ducks.
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Sincerely, the United States of America.
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Sincerely, confused and slightly concerned.
Writing whole albums about boys who break hearts is kinda my thing....
Sincerely, Taylor Swift.
Dear Rihanna ,
Chains and whips excite us too.
Sincerely, the creators of saw.
How can you sweat like us when we don't sweat?
Dear PE teacher,
How did I get a C?
Sincerely, varsity athlete.
Isn't it amazing what we can do when the PlayStation network is down?
Sincerely, acuctally did my homework for once!