Dear girl on the bus,
I am sorry that your boyfriend broke up you. However, that does NOT give you the right to assault the lady who came over to ask if you were alright. If the bus driver hadn't made you get off at the next stop, I would have forced you off myself.
Sincerely, a pissed fellow traveler
Dear angry boss,
I showed up to work late to drive my 18-year old paraplegic sister to special-ed.
Sincerely, I did not oversleep.
You could of told me that you were pregnant before you got the abortion. It was my choice too.
Sincerely, Always wondering father
When we say "I hate boys" it means "I hate boys who I thought were nice but actually turned out to be jerks and I definitely don't hate all boys."
Sincerely, we don't actually ever think that you're all jerks
Please allow my nail varnish to dry next time I decide to treat myself.
Sincerely, Almost wee'd myself.
Dear adorable dog,
I rarely mind your antics when it comes to going outside, but today of all days please hurry it up and go!
Sincerely, Its below zero and I cant feel my fingers anymore
Please don't wake me up early from my dreams...
Sincerely, I was a merman in an underwater amusement park
I'm violently throwing up and you expect me to go to a doctor's to figure out if something is wrong with me?!?!
Sincerely, Not paying 200+ dollars out of pocket just to find out what I already know
Dear best friend's boyfriend,
You talk to her every night on Skype. You send her gifts in the mail, and comfort her when she's sad. You gave her a necklace made out of a blue stone only found in the Dominican. You can behave like a best friend and a significant other at the same time. And you can make ME laugh too.
Sincerely, you've earned the BFF Seal of Approval.
Please understand that even those of us in the booth are actually tech crew
Sincerely, your light and sound board operators
Please understand that I just got out of a relationship with sleep. I need some time before I'm ready for this.
Sincerely, too damn early
Dear waiters and watresses,
Please don't ask me if I am a vampire when I ask what has garlic in it and laugh in my face when I say no.
Sincerely, a girl whose throat will close up if she eats garlic
Stop sharing photos about how important it is to spend time with your kids. Get off your ass and do it.
Sincerely, those foster parents won't keep them forever.