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Dear Macy's,
I filled out a job application for you and suddenly my inbox is being spammed like crazy. Seriously, how classless of you using job applications to get peoples' e-mails to sell to scam websites.
Dear pro-gun Americans,
Please realize that yes, guns "got" us America but they won America by murdering the people that lived here before us (with your precious guns).
Dear People Who Don't Mind Hearing A Bad Joke,
Just think that Jack and Rose fell in love with each other on the Titanic. Let that sink in.
Dear Angry People,
Please note that you cannot 'steal' someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. Not unless you think people are property.
Dear Neville,
Your Grandmother is a blast-ended skank.
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