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ALL TIME
Dear "Friends",,
Please stop calling me a loser for deciding to save myself until marriage.
Dear friend who says that I can sit in between you guys ,
Thanks for making me switch half way through the movie and then making out with him and ignoring me the rest of the time
Dear family,
Please what part of literally no one is willing to hire me do you not understand
Dear mom,
Please don't wake me up to tell me I have 20 more minutes to sleep
Dear biology teacher,
Please teach us the material we need to know BEFORE you assign a project on it.
Dear guy staring at me funny,
Yes, I am using a motorized shopping cart, yes I am 16. No, I'm not pregnant. I just broke my foot in 3 places.
Dear Billy,
Please know that there were over a thousand people at your funeral. People stood in the sanctuary for two hours, just so they could say goodbye to you one last time. Your father's eulogy was one of the most beautiful I've ever heard. It's amazing to think how many lives you've touched, even though you were only 19. You are so loved, and you will always be missed.
Dear mum,
Just because I don't go to parties every weekend, just because I like spending time with my family rather than friends, just because I'm shy, doesn't mean I lack a social life. All it means is that I'm safe at home, love my family as much as my friends, and prefer not talking to strangers like you taught me.
Dear people who want gay people to be able to legally receive marriage licenses,
Please explain to me why the hell the government should be at all involved in marriage and why the act of marriage is something that you apparantly need to obtain a license to pursue
Dear Thanksgiving,
Please know that I will still call you Thanksgiving and not Black Thursday.
Dear Southerners,
As I recall, it was the Confederate attack on Fort Sumner which precipitated the Civil War. "Northern Aggression," my foot.
Dear pads,
You know, you would be a lot more effective if you stuck to my underwear and not to yourselves.
Dear family,
You say you know everything about me yet you feed me the food I am allergic too
Dear friends,
Thank you for changing all my contacts to Harry Potter characters.
Dear People,
What do you get when you mix an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?
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