Dear guy who lives down the hall,
Please next time you see me using a feature on my phone you don't like, keep it to yourself. Chewing me out for having a phone you deem "inferior" and then telling me to never use that feature in front of you again was very uncalled for.
Sincerely, my Dad got it for me, and I have no problem with it.
Dear Ladies sitting next to me at Panera,
Please don't talk about me. I know I don't look the best, but I have my reasons.
Sincerely, grandma died yesterday, and our basement flooded. Didn't exactly have time to primp.
Please learn that there is a BIG difference between "retarded" and "stupid" and when this difference is ignored, people's feelings get hurt.
Sincerely, my brother is retarded
Dear stupid tailgater ,
Please get off my ass or I will go 10 under the speed limit.
Sincerely, just trying to teach you manners and patience
Thank you for singing Mom the song that you sang her on your wedding day 17 years ago. That made both of our days.
Sincerely, your grateful and loving daughter.
Dear 6 year old brother,,
Please never lose your innocence. The way you look at the world as if it is a beautiful place without fault or malevolence never fails to make me smile.
Sincerely, I will always be your big sis
Dear pirates who kidnapped me for ransom,
Please know I enjoyed my time with you, am glad you took my advice of more than doubling my ransom (what you demanded hardly matched my worth), respect you for holding up your bargain upon being paid the aforementioned ransom, and hope there are no hard feelings with me honoring my promise to return to execute each and every one of you
Sincerely, Julius Caesar
Dear Sink Fairy,
Please be real. Wave your magic wand over those who put the dishes in the sink in the first place. Then you wouldn't have to visit so often.
Sincerely, Your Sidekick
You mean to tell me we've come up with nuclear bombs yet we can't find a way to get rid of the painfully awkward lag on news channels when going to someone "on the scene"?
Sincerely, it never fails to make me uncomfortable
Dear people who call me a hipster,
Please stop calling me one, I wear beanies because I am a little bitch when it comes to the cold.
Sincerely, I can't afford hipster clothes.
I always win
Dear smokers at the bus stop,
Thank you for putting them out
Sincerely, brother with a sister allergic
Dear Obama haters who think he's both a Marxist and a Muslim,
Marxism teaches that religion is the opiate of the people. Islam is a religion. Marxism and Islam conflict.
Sincerely, someone with a basic grasp of logic.
Dear judgmental virgin girls in my school ,
Please, we've been together for years, talk regularly about marriage and kids, and I wear the promise ring he gave me
Sincerely, that's not the definition of a slut
Dear people who think all kids born '98+ are lost causes,
Actually, some of us don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, babysat for our phones, read and write every day, and know how to spell and use the parts of speech correctly. I know being bit in 1999 doesn't make me a 90s kid, but I still function properly.
Sincerely, thirteen-year-old girl who loves Harry Potter just as much as you.