Dear snobby girls in English ,
Please Stop calling me a lesbian behind my back
Sincerely, my hairs still growing out from when I shaved with my aunt when she got cancer
Dear shopper ahead of me in line,
It has been the law for years that you need an ID to buy alcohol. What made you think the law didn't apply to you?
Sincerely, shopper unamused by your tantrum
Please stop digging on active archaeology work sites. Surface collecting is fine, so long as it's legal in your area, but it is never legal to dig on an official site and you're just making our work harder
Dear step mom,
Please stop blaming dad. I know you lost your baby to SIDS but it wasn't his fault
Sincerely, I've already lost a brother, don't let me lose another mom
Sure... I'll take that picture for you... I totally didn't want to be in that
Sincerely, the photographer without even so much as a photocreds
Dear Verification Codes,
Please stop mashing all the letter/numbers together into meaningless jumble and add random lines throughout. I was supposed to verify not decode
Sincerely, 20/20 vision and still can't read them
When I ask "How are you?" or "How've you been?" and you respond with good, then ask the same of me, don't be shocked when I say evil.
Sincerely, It's I've been well.
Dear "People are starving in Africa",
Please remember that my giving up that piece of cheesecake won't save them. I can sympathize and try to help, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy anything.
Sincerely, Realistic and Making a Change
Please understand: Autism doesn't need a cure. That is IMPOSSIBLE. You can't Cure someone of who they are. Incontinence needs a cure. Self-harmful stims need an alternative. Lack of access to a way to communicate needs helping. certain behaviors need a cure. But you cannot remove most of someone's soul. Autism isn't a thing we have you can excise; it is How We Are. Please accept us and help us, don't try to make us into something we will never be. Lift us up, don't try to transform us. A bird will never be a fish, even if you clip its wings and put it in water. We just want to fly. Help us to fly.
Sincerely, Actually Autistic
Dear Overwieght Person on the Bus,
Please don't sit on me. Yes, that seat next to me is available, but, no, you will not fit in it.
Sincerely, My Leg is Trapped Under Your Enormous Thigh
Dear "Someone who paid attention",
Please note clearly you didn't, whilst Steve Rogers is Captain America, the first movie only show Bucky Barnes falling off the train and everyone assuming he died. Clearly he didn't as he is the Winter Soldier
Sincerely, Someone who wanted to point out your error
Dear Artists in the Recording Studio,
Please don't try to have a conversation with us. We're not trying to be rude or seem like we're ignoring you, but most facilities are extremely strict about us not speaking around, or to, clients. I have know of people who have been fired and accused of attempting to steal clientele over a handshake.
Sincerely, the Interns
Dear 5 Guys Burgers and Fries,
In a world where fast food chains are constantly making their sizes smaller and smaller, thank you for never changing and going cheap.
Sincerely, Oh damn there's more fries in the bag then there are in the cup!!!
Dear Summer Holidays,
Please confess to being in fast forward mode
Sincerely, suspicious student not willing to face school