Dear People who's opinions I didn't ask for,
If you think 'paying to go running in a gym is stupid because you could do that outside' then kindly butt out. Last time I ran outside a man tackled me into the bushes and shoved his hand down my shorts.
Sincerely, but either way, it's really none of your business
Please stop hating my girlfriend because she's a white Christian girl, not an Indian Muslim like us. I love her regardless of her race and religion. You should, too.
Sincerely, She likes you, you should like her.
Dear video game store employee,
Please stop looking at me like I'm a wuss. I'm getting this game because my two year old niece loves my pet rats
Sincerely, I'd rather her watch me play Ratatouille than any shooter game
Dear guys who think girls should be in the kitchen,
Why and how are you still alive? No one likes you, therefore no one will date you, and that means goodbye sandwitch and other foods you are apparently too stupid to make yourself.
Sincerely, sick and tired of all the idiots in the world.
Dear customers talking on their phones when they pull into the drive-thru,
We can hear you.
Sincerely, waiting to take your order because I'm dying to know more about this Paul character.
Dear those uninformed,
Please understand that the Bible is figurative. The "seven days" was billions of years, dinosaurs existed, and the Bible corresponds/agrees with Evolution.
Sincerely, a Christian scientist
Dear Mother Nature,
I know you have a tendency to sneak up on me at the worst possible times, but just one thing I ask is that you stay away from my wedding day or I may have to shoot you.
Sincerely, I'm calling my wedding off if that happens
Dear racist people,
Because it's totally logical that different colored skin defines personality.
I thought the M stood for music, not maternity...
Sincerely, you had me fooled
Dear Australian who think their Prime Minister is ridiculous,
Have you seen ours?
Sincerely, The British.
I'm tired of trying to find where you're hiding.
Sincerely, this would be easier if I could actually SEE.
Roses are red, here's something new: violets are violet, not fucking blue.
Dear teenage population,
Just because I choose to have sex with my boyfriend does not mean I'm a slut or that I'm stupid. It means that I'm in love with him, and my personal life is none of your business.
Sincerely, it's called birth control and condoms. If you're gonna do it, at least be safe about it.
Please move Minecraft's engine from the resource sucking Java to the much better DirectX. And while you're at it, could you please optimize the game for multi core CPUs? There is no excuse for the game to use only four cores on a six core CPU and then shove 80% of the load onto only one of those four, while the remaining three get the rest.
Sincerely, longtime Minecraft player