Please stop letting your friends park their cars on our front lawn. I get that our doors are right next to each other but the street is literally five feet from my door. Walking the extra five feet won't hurt. My yard already looks like crap without your friends' tire tracks all over it.
Sincerely, annoyed neighbor
Dear Some Drivers in my Area,
Please note that at the busy intersections, all left hand turn lanes have signs that state "Left turn on left signal only" because of the blind school in the area. Do not honk at me while the turn light is red.
Sincerely, Trying to obey the law
Dear kids at school,
Please stop acting like little kids. We're high schoolers, and there's no need to go around humping each other and pretending to slap the teacher's butt when she bends over to get something. Really? You guys suck.
Sincerely, a girl who actually goes to school to learn.
Really? You literally just said "I don't know any people with X chromosomes who play XBox"? You do realize that every single person on the planet has at least one X chromosome, right? It's actually essential to life/
Sincerely, someone who paid attention in biology
Dear people who say "I'm not a feminist because I believe in gender equality. I am an egalitarian.",
That's what feminism is! It's not about man hating or gender superiority. It's about bring equal rights to all people, regardless of gender. Also, men can also be feminists, there were in fact men at the Seneca Falls meeting.
Sincerely, I wish people would understand this
I wear makeup and nice clothes to school to make myself feel good
Sincerely, don't flatter yourself
Dear Mormon boyfriend,
I really hope two years and 4,712 miles doesn't do any damage on us.
Sincerely, your Catholic girlfriend
Glitter is like herpes but safer
Sincerely, theater people
Dear University Professors,
I'm smart enough to get into this place, so help me understand why I pay so much money for tuition and textbooks and then you tell me I'll get my paper back when I get my paper back?!
Sincerely, Just give us our marks already!
Paper cuts are the best revenge especially when you don't expect them.
Dear military older brother,
Please come home soon so that we can continue having light-saber fights and building pillow forts together.
Sincerely, your younger sister who loves you and thinks about you every day.
Dear people staring at me while I walk a screaming child down the street,
Please I know she is sobbing and screaming about wanting to go home and wanting her mommy and daddy, but I swear I didn't kidnap her. I'm her babysitter, honest.
Sincerely, Please don't call the cops on me
Dear "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve",
Please I think you should Adam and leave.
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Sincerely, It looks like Tigger murdered Pooh on my bed.