No, my best guy friend and I are not and will not ever be sleeping together. He also does not plan on raping me, but thank you for your concern.
Sincerely, your lesbian daughter (and you know this.)
I've had so many of these published I'm starting to think they're all written either me or like one guy I hate.
Sincerely, Not the meta ones though
Please realize that when you say "due Friday", we hear "do Friday."
Dear band and choir teachers at my school,
Thank you for being so amazing. You share your love of music with everyone you can. Your classroom is like a safe haven for all the music students. And we love how we can talk to you like you're friends, not teachers.
Sincerely, Grateful tenor.