Please let me become an organ donor. There are so many people out there that can really use my organs if anything were to happen to me. Organ donation is one of the most selfless things you can do in your life. It's my decision, I wish you could just support it.
Sincerely, your disappointed daughter
Dear Douchebag Ex-Boyfriend,
Please quit your job DIRECTLY across the street from my house, which you decided to get AFTER we were already broken up. And stop accusing me of stalking you...If anything you're stalking me.
Sincerely, Your Douchery Astounds Me
Dear Tan people,
I know I'm pale. Please stop constantly comparing your skin to mine.
Sincerely, Pale child
When I was little I would pout when people said we looked alike, now I hold my head up high.
Sincerely, Your Daughter who loves and misses you everyday.
Dear Oscar award givers,
Please give Leonardo DiCaprio an oscar.
Dear Previous Boss,
Please know that I am now the manager of another restaurant after you wouldn't give me a chance to be a waitress, even after I proved myself over and over.
Sincerely, your head waitress was jealous and mean.
Please help me. I know I've never prayed before but I don't know what to do with myself and it's ruining my life. I need you to turn me around before it's too late, otherwise I will waste my time and my whole life will be for nothing.
Sincerely, hopelessly apathetic but wanting to heal
Please stop acting like Katniss was the first girl to pick up a bow and be good.
Sincerely, Queen Susan the Gentle
Dear Senior in High School,
Did you really just ask if Texas had 3 capital cities?!
Sincerely, You make me feel so ashamed...
Please stop making fun of my guy friend and me. No, we're not dating. No, we're not related. No, I wouldn't date him. No, he doesn't like me. No, neither one of us is homosexual. What's so unimaginable about us being just friends?
Sincerely, So Sick of this Crap
Dear non-marijuana user who doesn't see the point,
Marijuana was made illegal in 1937 because there was a rumor that it made white women attracted to black men
Sincerely, some laws are just stupid
Dear person accusing my 'dreads' for being cultural appropriation,
This isn't dreads, this is me not washing my hair for a couple of days. Also, is that an Avengers tee you're wearing...?
Sincerely, cut the crap already
Dear Tacos are actually Texan,
Texas used to be part of Mexico
Sincerely, get educated
Dear muffins complaining about how slutty cupcakes are,
I know, right? We feel exactly the same way with donuts!
Thank you for going up to the guy at graduation that had been bullying me all year, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, picking him up, and telling him to never talk about me again.
Sincerely, your little sister that appreciates you caring for me.