Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear male teacher who gives detention for spending more than three minutes in the bathroom,
Have you ever timed yourself putting in a tampon and changing a pad?
Dear girl at school in PJ pants,
So you didn't have time to slip on decent pants but somehow managed to straighten your hair and put on makeup?
Dear older folks,
If you want us young adults to respect you, you need to respect us as well.
Dear boys who say they like girls without makeup,
I think you mean you like naturally beautiful girls without makeup.
Dear food labels,
Serving size is 1/4 of cookie? Who the hell eats only 1/4 of a cookie?
Dear women everywhere,
Good men are hard to find.
Dear school,
I see you removed all the games from the computer but left Paint...
Dear cute guy on facebook,
If you could see who watched your profile and how often, you'd probably request protective custody...
Dear guys,
Believe me, call us beautiful and we'll treat you like a king.
Dear puddle on the bathroom floor,
I really hope you're water...
Dear people,
If we go off, you hate us. If we don't go off, you hate us. We can't win.
Dear parents,
Texting + Facebook= Textbook... so yes, I am studying.
Dear house,
How come you only make strange, unrecognizable noises when I'm home alone?
Dear best friend's new boyfriend,
Just FYI, I keep duct tape, a shovel, rope and gloves in my car, and I watch plenty of NCIS to know how to make it look like an accident.
Dear english teacher,
Why, yes, I CAN go to the bathroom.
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