Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear person at my door,
Usually if I don't answer after 15 minutes, I most likely won't answer after 30 minutes.
Dear "boyfriend",
So according to Facebook, you're single now?
Dear boyfriend,
Don't get me wrong, I love it when you send me sweet texts... its jst less rmntic wen u spl lik this.
Dear men in speedos,
Did you really walk out of the house today thinking "I look good!?"
Dear friends who text me at 3am asking if I'm sleeping,
No, I'm freaking skydiving.
Dear girl looking at her reflection in the passing windows,
You look beautiful.
Dear 8-year-olds sitting on the bench playing video games,
Seriously? You are at the park.
Dear police officer,
Have fun explaining why you just hit that parked car...
Dear woman who got insulted when I asked if she worked here,
It's not my fault you decided to wear khakis and a red polo at Target.
Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,
My only secret life consists of sleeping with a teddy bear, not every boy at my high school.
Dear people who say they're screwed because of their drunk facebook pictures,
You know you can take those off, right?
Dear phone,
I thought when I put you on "silent" mode, it meant that you would be silent.
Dear teacher,
If I don't know how to spell it how can I look it up in the dictionary?
Dear Doctor,
You hope to see me soon?
Dear American high school students,
What exactly did you do in school the past twelve years?
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