Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Dad,
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear Doctor,
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Dear Headphones,
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Dear teachers,
When we accidentally fall asleep or are daydreaming in class, there is no need to point a nerf gun at us...
Dear Boyfriend and Girlfriend,
I don't swim in your bed, so please don't have sex in my pool.
Dear Guy at my recital taking flash photography,
You know I have to be able to read my music right?
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Dear Razor,
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Irony.
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