Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear Dad,
Please clear your internet history...
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Dear people trying to make a point,
...
Dear person I'm talking to,
Please do not ask me "North or South?" when I say I'm Korean.
Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,
Are you dyslexic??
Dear parents,
Just because I eat my burritos sideways doesn't mean you have to stare at me like I have two heads.
Dear Mufasa,
You only had one life left? Oh, my bad...
Dear skinny guy riding a motorcycle who nodded at me,
Just because you are riding a motorcycle does not automatically make you cool or attractive.
Dear math,
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Dear boyfriend,
Just because I'm a redhead doesn't mean this is like The Little Mermaid. There is no talking crab who's going to tell you when it's okay to kiss me.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Is "back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine" code for "I really liked him, but then I became too famous for him?
Dear unicorns,
There can only be one.
Dear <,
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Dear Tarzan,
Watch out for that tree!
Dear people of the world,
I will always be ahead of you, and in the future.
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