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Dear milk,
You make me wet
Dear Last Names,
If you were given to people based on what their jobs were, then where did I come from?
Dear Google,
I Binged your girlfriend.
Dear people of the internet,
Did you know a whale's fart bubble is large enough to enclose a horse?
Dear racists,
Don't be racist. Hate everyone.
Dear Guy complementing me,
Oh, my chest looks nice in this shirt? Well, your dick looks look nice in those jeans.
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
Dear teacher buying condoms,
Well this is awkward...
Dear middle finger,
Thank you for always sticking up for me
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Dear Dracula,
Remember that crazy night a few hundred years ago? Well now you have a son, and his name is Edward Cullen
Dear boyfriend,
Please stop trying to convince me to go against what my mother taught me.
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
Dear Students using Wikipedia,
I hope you know that I got on and changed the page about Hilter. It was however amusing that half of you wrote that Hilter was in a secret relationship with one of his Nazi commanders.
Dear pinkie toe,
I am going to bang you so hard tonight.
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