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Dear Judgmental Idiots,
Just because I'm slim, fashionably dressed, have a slicked-back hairdo, and a sexy accent, does not mean that I'm gay.
Dear sister,
I'm not mad that you didn't get me a present; I'm just kinda disappointed that you forgot about my birthday...
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Harry was a descendant of the 3rd brother from the group who made the Deathly Hallows. Voldemort was a descendant of the 2nd brother. This means that Harry and Voldemort were distant cousins.
Dear Kim Kardashian,
Please realize that my career on Dancing With the Stars lasted longer then your marriage.
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Dear Stomach,
You participating in our class discussions isn't helping anyone. Thanks.
Dear "pretty girls",
I love watching your face when I say, "Did it hurt when you fell from..." and then proceed to say, instead of Heaven, "...the whore tree and bang every guy on the way down?".
Dear world,
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Dear Math Teacher,
Please stop playing the Titanic theme song during our tests
Dear high schoolers,
You know how you hate those annoying twelve-yr-olds trying to be cool? That's how we feel about you.
Dear guys who hate Twilight,
So I'm the gay one when I just went to a movie theatre full of girls and got half of their numbers?
Dear dog,
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Dear writers of The Lion King,
About that "Cats always land on their feet" thing...
Dear NASA,
Your Mom thought I was big enough.
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