I filled out a job application for you and suddenly my inbox is being spammed like crazy. Seriously, how classless of you using job applications to get peoples' e-mails to sell to scam websites.
Sincerely, never going to Macy's again
Please note that when there is a fire in the mall and everybody needs to evacuate, it means not only you, but the staff working in the shops too. The staff will not be there to process your returns and refunds, nor will they be there to run the cinema, no matter what your movie ticket says. This is for your safety, so get out and come back later.
Sincerely, the mall management staff who was nearly run over multiple times by shoppers who do not understand t
Dear "God has a plan for you",
Does his plan involve me being broke and homeless? Because that's where this is going without divine intervention.
Sincerely, a desperate, jobless student wanting words of COMFORT
Dear parents at the pool,
Please f*cking pay attention to your little kids...
Sincerely, lifeguards who are sick and tired of pulling out the same kid repeatedly
Dear customer who looked at me like I was idiot when I asked what kind when they ordered a small,
We have 24 flavors.
Sincerely, I'm going to need a little more to go on.
Dear Best friend who moved today,
I may not have shown it, but I really am going to miss you like crazy
Sincerely, got home and immediately started sobbing on the couch
Please know that if you bring your cappuccino back for being 'too foamy' you will get, and deserve, a death stare.
Sincerely, Order a damn latte
Dear research paper,
let's get this over with
Please get over hating Obama. You should hope he proves you wrong and does something good for our country instead of hating him.
Sincerely, I'm not a democrat, but I'm smart enough to know I want the best for my country.
Dear Any and ALL retail/food service/bank/etc.. customers,
Please, for the love of simple politeness, stop coming in on the cell phone and being annoyed when I ask you questions. I need to know what you got/want/need and I am human. Not just 'the girl at the counter'
Sincerely, Any and all cashiers/CSRs/tellers/waitresses/etc...
Please stop refusing to learn how to use the computer. You were the first person in the family to get a laptop yet after nearly two decades, you can't even send an email. Don't let your age determine your ability to learn. Mom has been doing great.
Sincerely, college daughter who is a bit tired from doing all your work for 8 years
Dear pro-gun Americans,
Please realize that yes, guns "got" us America but they won America by murdering the people that lived here before us (with your precious guns).
Sincerely, Yeah guns being used to commit genocide is great
Your Grandmother is a blast-ended skank.
Sincerely, I mean every word I ever say because I'm Harry Potter
Please tell me why you used a broom instead of literally any other form of magical transport to respond to that 'urgent' owl from the Ministry.
Sincerely, It's like you wanted Quirrell to get the stone.