Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear Jehovah's Witness,
Yes, my car (which was in my driveway) door was unlocked. However, that is NOT an open invitation to open my car and leave one of your pamphlets on family life on my console.
Dear overly enthusiastic friend,
Please excuse me for swearing like a truck driver when you slapped me on the back to say hello.
Dear underage partiers,
Do you really think that when you post a picture of you at a party holding a beer can and blur out just the beer can that that suddenly makes a difference? Do you think we are all going "oh theres a little blurred out spot on the picture that just happens to be placed over everyones hand in every picture, well that couldn't possibly be a beer can. Nah, it was probably soda and they just didn't want people to know what kind."
Dear homophobes,
If all gay people go to hell, it's got to be FABULOUS!
Dear people who want a font specifically for sarcastic remarks,
If you need a font to make it sarcastic, clearly you're not very good at it.
Dear person who checks behind the shower curtain,
It's funny because I'm actually in your bedroom closet.
Dear AP calculus,
It was easier understanding Inception...
Dear male wrestlers,
You really chose the wrong sport...
Dear older sister,
As you leave for college I have something important to say: Finders Keepers!
Dear boyfriend,
What?
Dear neighbor looking out the window at the wrong moment,
Well. This just got awkward.
Dear Stephen King,
You're a jerk.
Dear optimists, pessimists and realists,
The glass is actually 51.1256 % filled.
Dear Ariel,
Sebastian didn't want you to become human because you're a ginger and would easily get burnt by the sun.
Dear Bra,
Thanks for being there for me when Pocket wasn't.
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