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Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear boys who ask why girls wear bras if they "have nothing to put in them",,
Please explain why you wear pants then...
Dear Spongebob creators,
A squirrel in a space suit, a snail that meows, and a crab with a whale as a daughter
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Dear Dad,
If I answer the home phone it's a pretty clear indication that I am, in fact, at home.
Dear online website that asked if I was human,
What do you think I am?
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear Teenage boys,
I see you when you are sleeping, and those are very naughty dreams...
Dear husband,
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Dear band teachers,
Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".
Dear Trix Rabbit,
We can team up and destroy those nosy kids once and for all. And then we'll have our cereal all to ourselves.
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear past self,
Please remember to put toilet paper in the bathroom after you use the last of it.
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