Please stop making me re-write my older brother's college essays for him, and then yell at me when he gets bad grades on anything. I don't care if he needs a good grade, I have my own homework to do. He's five years older than me, he can figure it out.
Sincerely, I'm only 15. Seriously.
Dear kid who just said,"Thanks for 9/11".,
You're and idiot. Thanks for bringing down the IQ of the world.
Sincerely, I'm Indian. Not all brown people are the same.
Dear best friend,
It's not funny when you text me after school induction day to say that you've found four awesome new friends, that you've replaced me and don't want me anymore. You know I have abandonment issues.
Sincerely, at least I know it took FOUR of them to replace ONE of me...
Dear Lesbians at the Hotel Pool,
As much as I agree with gay rights, do you really thinks it is appropriate to basically dry hump each other when my two year old and 7 year old are watching?
Sincerely, Mommy! I want to play with them.
Dear Insomniac of a Neighbor,
Why in God's name do you think it's a good idea to mow your lawn at 1 am?
Sincerely, Tired and Grumpy Resident.
Dear person who called me a whore for wearing a tampon,
Should I start calling you a baby? Because pads feel like diapers when I wear them.
Sincerely, I enjoy putting in a tampon as much as you enjoy wearing your pad
Dear woman at the supermarket the other day,
It is neither your business nor your right to chasten others about charity with snarky comments and stupid giggles when you have no clue about what goes on in their life. Maybe I donate lots to charity, more than just two dollars: time.
Sincerely, An "uncharitable" person with $0.73 remaining
Did you not realize what my initials would be?
Sincerely, Kailey Kallie K.
Dear Jade (my cat),
Thank you for coming over and licking my face to make sure I was okay when I fell down the stairs.
Sincerely, My parents just laughed at me.
Dear dog owner who just let your dog crap on my lawn,
Please clean up your dog's "present." It's not my job to deal with that shit...literally.
Sincerely, annoyed home owner
Dear People who fake needing 'medical marijuana' just so you can get high,
I do hope that you never, ever, ever know the agony of intractable, uncontrollable, chronic pain ~ for which certain forms of cannabis can be of great help as a last resort
Sincerely, sick of being mistaken for a pot head
Dear douche bag sitting in front of me,
Thanks for that asthma attack you gave me
Sincerely, that bottle of axe should last you at least a day
Dear tall people,
Yes, I know I'm short, yes, I know you find it funny, but STOP USING MY HEAD AS AN ARMREST!
Sincerely, short person
Please aim at the toilet... Not the wall.
Sincerely, girl who hates the unisex bathroom at her work.
Dear Guys who honk at me from their cars,
What is the point of that? Even if I appreciated that kind of attention (which I don't) there's no way for me to respond to it before your drive off.
Sincerely, Annoyed woman just wanting a walk