Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear boyfriends everywhere,
Don't even dare think about breaking eye contact when the blonde waitress comes to take our order...
Dear Chinese guy in the seat next to me,
I like your tattoo.
Dear boy making fun of my Dora bandaid,
I just insulted you in five languages.
Dear people who rip open their shower curtains to see if there is a murderer standing behind it,
What are you going to do if there is?
Dear people complaining about the new facebook layout,
Mark Zuckerburg screwed over his classmates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on his new layout?
Dear softball,
You're really not all that soft, are you?
Dear kids in elementary school,
Please go outside and actually DO something! You will have enough time to be addicted to electronics when you are older. Use your imagination or play hide and seek.
Dear most teenage guys,
Flies spread disease.
Dear teen drivers,
Remember, kids in the back seat cause accidents...
Dear iTunes users,
I have read the terms and conditions...there is nothing funny hidden in them.
Dear math geeks,
Making math jokes is the first sine of your geekiness
Dear Real Housewives,
Your children are taken care of by nannies, your personal assistants run your errands, your maids clean your houses, you never cook, you always eat out and everything about you is plastic or injected. What exactly makes you real?
Dear motivation,
Long time no see!
Dear colorblind friend,
Thank you for posting about the awkward moment when you thought you solved your rubix cube.
Dear girls who constantly complain about boys who stare at their cleavage,
Just an idea, wear your boobs on the inside of your shirt.
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