Dear best friend,
It's not funny when you text me after school induction day to say that you've found four awesome new friends, that you've replaced me and don't want me anymore. You know I have abandonment issues.
Sincerely, at least I know it took FOUR of them to replace ONE of me...
Dear Teenage Family,
Please Know that my judgmental looks didnt come from the fact that you look like you're 12 and have a kid, or the fact that your boyfriend glared at me when he walked right through the door and I held it open for you ecause you were carrying said baby. They came from when you got in the car, closed up all the windows, AND THEN BOTH OF YOU LIT CIGIRETTES!
Sincerely, I really hope that kid can breathe.
Dear Drama teacher,
Thank you so much for telling me that 'maybe Shakespeare just isn't your thing' shaming me into quitting the production. I decided that I want to be involved in this really badly so I become stage manager (hard work for a teenage girl at school to end up being the whole tech team and co-director). When I ended up working harder and doing more than you, even though I have school work I thought my name would at least be in the programme or something. No one knew how much time and effort I put into this; sacrificing my school work.
Sincerely, I just wanted a little bit of recognition
You could of told me that you were pregnant before you got the abortion. It was my choice too.
Sincerely, Always wondering father
Dear best friends who thought they were being funny,
Please remember that just because im "innocent" doesn't mean i don't know what a vibrator is
Sincerely, the horrified friend trying to figure out how to take your gift home
Dear girl on the bus,
I am sorry that your boyfriend broke up you. However, that does NOT give you the right to assault the lady who came over to ask if you were alright. If the bus driver hadn't made you get off at the next stop, I would have forced you off myself.
Sincerely, a pissed fellow traveler
Dear angry boss,
I showed up to work late to drive my 18-year old paraplegic sister to special-ed.
Sincerely, I did not oversleep.
Dear man on the street,
Please reconsider the claim that you're "making my day" by spewing sexist slurs as I pass. I am worth so much more than my body. I am beauty, I am ancestry, I am faults and flaws and hunger. I am both woman and person, and I am not here for your pleasure.
Dear snobby girls in English ,
Please Stop calling me a lesbian behind my back
Sincerely, my hairs still growing out from when I shaved with my aunt when she got cancer
Remember that time we tried to put our names in the Goblet of Fire? I wish that wasn't the only time that we'd see each other old.
Dear waiters and watresses,
Please don't ask me if I am a vampire when I ask what has garlic in it and laugh in my face when I say no.
Sincerely, a girl whose throat will close up if she eats garlic
Dear "woman against feminism",
Please don't call yourselves anti-feminist if you vote, drive or have received an education.
Sincerely, the African girl who cannot attend school because education is only for the males of my community.
Just because I believe in gay rights doesn't mean that I'm gay.
Sincerely, your straight daughter with many gay friends.
Dear business that said they are going to make me a job offer over a month ago,
Please do me the courtesy to return my email and voicemail regarding your offer--ignoring me is dirty and rude. Why on earth would ANYONE want to work for a company that doesn't even communicate?
Sincerely, Too bad, your loss.