Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Dear guy in the car next to me,
Thanks for blowing me a kiss even though it was a little creepy.
Dear girls,
The silent treatment isn't really a punishment.
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Dear urbandictionary.com,
Ohhhhhhh.
Dear teachers,
It's 'cuz I'm black, isn't it?
Dear Mulan,
If I watch the movie backwards, it tells the story of a decorated war hero who goes back home to get a sex change.
Dear general population,
When I said, "How stupid can you be?" - it wasn't meant as a challenge.
Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Dear students,
If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Dear teenagers,
Please stop saying "OMG!" all the time. I hate prank calls.
Dear "Your connection cannot be found",
"Please visit the following website for further assistance".
Dear internet,
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Dear God,
Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT let this thing fall down on me.
Dear Washington D.C.,
Calm down, it was just an earthquake. These things happen.
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