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Dear student whose paper I'm grading,
I quote; "i thnk abraham linkin was som rndom guy, i guess. idk. he hd a funny ht. he shood c som1 abut tht............"
Dear fellow middle school students,
Don't stare at me because I've never had a boyfriend, or a first kiss, and I'm still a virgin... We're in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL.
Dear black people who say "it's because I'm black isn't it?",
I'm going to start saying "it's because I'm white isn't it?" and see how annoying and stupid you think it sounds.
Dear natzi feminist teacher,
How did she get an A, and I only got a C...?
Dear loud popular people,
It's not that I'm quiet. It's just that you never shut up.
Dear Movie Directors,
Do you ever read the books your movie is ''based on?"
Dear enormously tall black football player walking by me,
That really made my day when your phone went off and Taylor Swift started singing "Our Song"
Dear Miss Universe Pageant,
Why are the winners always from Earth?
Dear baking soda,
You whiten my teeth, remove stains from my clothes and bake in my cookies.
Dear Jocks,
You may get a lot if girls, but it's not even comparable to how many we COULD get!
Dear parents,
What'd I do all day while I was sick? Oh, nothing much. Just drove around in a convertible, went to a musem, ate in a fancy restraunt, climbed to the top of the Sears tower, and sang in a parade, all while avoiding the school principal!
Dear Apple,
Please create an "Add to the Dictionary" feature for my iPod.
Dear annoying girl in the locker room,
I don't care if we're all girls, I still don't enjoy seeing you whip out your double Ds for the world to see.
Dear dark spot in the corner of the wall,
Are you a spider or just a bit of fluff? I'll blow on it and see if you move.
Dear brother with low self-esteem,
You can't be ugly; you're related to me!
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