Dear Judgmental Idiots,
Just because I'm slim, fashionably dressed, have a slicked-back hairdo, and a sexy accent, does not mean that I'm gay.
Sincerely, I'm French.
I'm not mad that you didn't get me a present; I'm just kinda disappointed that you forgot about my birthday...
Sincerely, your twin.
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Harry was a descendant of the 3rd brother from the group who made the Deathly Hallows. Voldemort was a descendant of the 2nd brother. This means that Harry and Voldemort were distant cousins.
Sincerely, talk about family feuds
Dear Kim Kardashian,
Please realize that my career on Dancing With the Stars lasted longer then your marriage.
Sincerely, Rob Kardashian
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Sincerely, the male members of the cast
You participating in our class discussions isn't helping anyone. Thanks.
Sincerely, Have to start remembering a snack
Dear "pretty girls",
I love watching your face when I say, "Did it hurt when you fell from..." and then proceed to say, instead of Heaven, "...the whore tree and bang every guy on the way down?".
Sincerely, if you want respect, earn it
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Sincerely, I wrote it during lunch.
Dear Math Teacher,
Please stop playing the Titanic theme song during our tests
Sincerely, it's not funny
Dear high schoolers,
You know how you hate those annoying twelve-yr-olds trying to be cool? That's how we feel about you.
Sincerely, College Kids
Dear guys who hate Twilight,
So I'm the gay one when I just went to a movie theatre full of girls and got half of their numbers?
Sincerely, you call it gay, I call it strategy
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Sincerely, your owner who nearly had a heart attack.
Dear writers of The Lion King,
About that "Cats always land on their feet" thing...