Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Sincerely, bored eavesdropper.
You are us with too much makeup on, and you dare call us the ugly ones!
Sincerely, self aware muffin.
Dear guy in the car next to me,
Thanks for blowing me a kiss even though it was a little creepy.
Sincerely, made my day anyway.
The silent treatment isn't really a punishment.
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Sincerely, the United States of America.
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Sincerely, confused and slightly concerned.
Sincerely, sheltered private schooled kid.
It's 'cuz I'm black, isn't it?
Sincerely, a neglected blackboard.
If I watch the movie backwards, it tells the story of a decorated war hero who goes back home to get a sex change.
Sincerely, next I'm trying trying Lion King!
Dear general population,
When I said, "How stupid can you be?" - it wasn't meant as a challenge.
Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Sincerely, doesn't do "forgiveness" well.
If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Sincerely, yeah, I'm dating my lab partner, that's what we want to hear.
Dear person who can't stop sneezing,
BLESS YOU ALREADY!
Sincerely, I'M TIRED OF TELLING YOU!
Dear person who stole our trashcan,
Well you know how the saying goes, "one man's trash is another man's treasure..."
Sincerely, not really sure how, but...