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Dear people who think LGBT people are always tolerant,
Sadly, they aren't. When I was a teenager I questioned my sexuality and thought I was a lesbian before realising I wasn't. Since then, I've met some LGBT people who think I'm a lesbian but pretending to be straight, and they won't listen when I try to tell them I'm not, and some of the most misogynistic people I've ever met are gay men. But most of the straight people I've met think that every LGBT person ever is perfect and tolerant of everyone, and saying otherwise is "homophobic".
Dear Sister,
Please realize that your boyfriend is not going to change. You've given him multiple chances, but he continues to treat you like shit. You have a five-year-old son who is starting to think it's okay to treat girls the way your boyfriend treats you.
Dear Now Ex-Boyfriend,
Please understand that I actually had faith in us, and 24 hours is not long enough to get over a two year relationship.
Dear record labels/recording artists,
If you have objectionable language in a song, please make sure you offer an uncensored version. I'm sick of finding versions that have _________ gaps in the music that ________ sound terrible.
Dear people of the internet,
I really need a hug. I'd turn to my family, but they/we're not the physical or emotional sort of people, and it is just downright pathetic to have to ask... not to mentioned it will be rather half-hearted from their side. But life isn't very good right now and I need a hug bad. And a cookie.
Dear The World,
Please answer an important question. Is it wrong to hate a certain race?
Dear Google,
I Binged your girlfriend.
Dear world,
I wear stripes so that I am not spotted.
Dear bird outside my window,
Please shut the fuck up. It is 2 in the goddamn morning, and some of us, like me perhaps, are trying to sleep. I get it, you are going against the grain and be a fucking nocturnal bird instead of a normal sweet diurnal bird, but you need to shut the hell up. I do not know what kind of bird cocain or bird amphetamines you are on to stay awake all night but not all of us have access to bird drug dealers and so we do not have the energy that you seem to have. If you refuse to shut up, then I shall make it my mission that every time I see you sleeping in that tiny little nest in the tree outside my window I will scream at you and wake your fat feathery ass up so you will understand what it feels like to have some annoying bitch squawking at you when you are trying to sleep. That is all.
Dear Pinocchio,
So all I have to do is lie?
Dear Guy complementing me,
Oh, my chest looks nice in this shirt? Well, your dick looks look nice in those jeans.
Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Dear Airport Security,
How is this gonna work??
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
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