Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear health-freak parents,
If you ever try to sneak protein powder into my pancakes again, I'm pouring acid on your vegetable garden.
Dear drunk people,
Don't be mad at us for taking advantage of you.
Dear parents everywhere,
You'd better tell your kids about puberty and sex before I explain it to them in HD.
Dear SpaghettiO's Alphabet Version,
Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of SpaghettiO's?
Dear makeup ads,
Just because your model can pull off purple eyeshadow and green eyeliner doesn't mean I can.
Dear Charlie Brown,
You realize that Lucy keeps pulling the football away because she likes you, right?
Dear text recipients,
You all lied.
Dear girl hitting on "that cute guy",
I'm really considering coming over there.
Dear extra cling Saran Wrap,
I was about to stick you to something...have patience.
Dear kid from the Tootsie Pop commercial,
Since when do people only lick their lollipops?
Dear girl in my speech class,
No, "google.com" is not an acceptable source for your bibliography.
Dear men,
Surprise!
Dear students,
The reason we don't let you use Wikipedia is it can be edited by anyone without being checked.
Dear pregnant friend,
What's the difference between you and a lightbulb?
Dear male gynecologist ,
Please stop looking down there and just staring saying 'mhm'.
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