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TODAY
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ALL TIME
Dear person who said I shouldn't be at the gym,
Just because I'm thin doesn't mean I have no reason to be there.
Dear Republican grandparents who watch Fox News,
Please do not ask me if I'm going to join ISIS when I get letters from my pen pal who happen to be muslim.
Dear feminists,
Equal rights come with equal obligations, equal accountability, and equal consequences. Stop trying to take the benefits without paying the costs.
Dear Sherlock,
Please don't be dead.
Dear neighbors,
Please understand that when I open my windows I am hoping for fresh air, not your second-hand smoke.
Dear college roommate,
If you are going to use your bed for "extra-curricular activities", please use WD-40.
Dear science nerds,
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. What does the bartender say?
Dear students at my school,
No, I don't have cancer. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not a neo-nazi. I'm not going through a personal crisis. It's not a religious thing or an anti-establishment thing. It's just a haircut. I'm the same girl as before.
Dear ex-boyfriend,
Please give me back my heart.
Dear Chicken and the Egg,
Does it really matter who came first? Because I win anyway.
Dear society,
People aren't expected to "come out" as straight, so why do I have to announce my sexual preferences to the world?
Dear people waiting for the zombie virus,
I'm already here! The only problem is that there's already cure...
Dear atheists who are critical of Christians,
Why do you celebrate Christmas, St. Patrick's day or Valentine's day?
Dear period,
Never have I been so happy to see you!
Dear friend who lost her virginity to a guy she's been dating less than a week,
Really? In the woods?
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