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Dear society,
I used to be in a relationship with a girl who would slap me all the time in public, call me worthless and would spit at me during sex. Every person I asked for help just laughed at me. Thanks for nothing.
Dear ex,
Please know lying about having cancer is not healthy behavior.
Dear Racist parents,
I am sorry, but I really do like everyone no matter what colour they are.
Dear guy,
Please don't go through through my bag. Seriously please.... Too late
Dear girl who asked if I was dropped as a baby,
Yes, yes I was. Into a pool of sexy!
Dear Parents,
Just because I'm more open-minded than you, doesn't mean I am going to hell.
Dear girl who is now glaring at me.,
I just pointed out that you needed to fix your skirt because it was tucked into your leggings. I didn't say it loudly, and nobody else was around. I seriously don't get why you're mad.
Dear couple sitting next to me on the plane,
Thanks for the pamphlet on accepting Jesus. I'm Jewish.
Dear people who complain about being in the friendzone,
Please understand that she may not be the girl for you. I acted on my affections for a girl and all it got me was a "friend" who abused me because she knew I was so deeply in love with her that I wouldn't care.
Dear Buffy,
The Cullens live in Forks, Washington. You know what to do.
Dear boys,
Not all girls do their make-up to impress you.
Dear butterflies in my stomach,
Please find somewhere else to flutter; I need to sleep tonight.
Dear dad,
Just because a person counts in a different language doesn't mean they're inferior
Dear "the early bird gets the worm",
Well the worm got up and died.
Dear Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
Your commercials make me want to buy your cereal less.
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