I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
I now fully understand your pain.
Sincerely, jogger that just got chased down the road by a crazy dog.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Sincerely, not cleaning that up
Dear children of the next generation,
Please accept this early apology for all of your names
Sincerely, yes I'm talking to you, Albus, Severus, Prim, Katniss, Cato, Rue, Sherlock, Rory, Merlin, Morgana, C
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Sincerely, It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday...
Dear Trojan Vibrator Commercial,
Thanks for making it just a tad bit awkward as I was watching TV with my parents.
Sincerely, glad it can be bent into different positions.
Dear Trojan condom commercial,
"These condoms were tested three times." So...you're telling me this is someone's JOB? TO TEST CONDOMS?
Sincerely, dropping out of college.
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Sincerely, this is the last time I am giving the toilet funeral ceremony.
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Sincerely, Question #4: The Los Angeles Lakers make me want to vomit. a. True b. True
Dear gullible boys,
I loved seeing your face when I told you girls go to the bathroom together because there are two toilets in a stall and girls don't want to go to the bathroom with a stranger...
Sincerely, Your reaction just made my day.
Thanks for not bleeding every month
Dear twilight fans,
I saw a man with a shirt that said, "team: guy who almost nailed bella with a car."
Sincerely, he is my new best friend.