Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear friends,
Yes, my boyfriend is 6 months younger than me.
Dear bullies,
And I suppose I have six eyes if I wear my science glasses over my prescriptions?
Dear slutty girl in my class,
Please wear a skirt long enough to cover your neon green thong.
Dear people of the modern world,
Please forgive us for not finishing our calander. We were kind of distracted by the Europeans killing us.
Dear teacher,
Please know that if we can't wear that due to dress code then you shouldn't be able to either.
Dear older brother,
Please don't tell my hot date you have a shotgun, shovel, and 200 acres.
Dear "Which came first the chicken or the egg?",
In the summer of 2010, a group of british scientists discovered that the protein that created the eggshell, ovocledidin-17, was only found in chickens; proving that the chicken came first.
Dear tampon commercials,
Am I supposed to feel like dancing on a beach in white spandex while I'm on my period?
Dear girls,
When we can see your pockets coming out of the bottom of your shorts... that's when you should realize you're not actually wearing shorts.
Dear people who cannot spell,
Please note that there is a big difference between "sweet pea" and "sweat pee."
Dear people who think the Harry Potter books go against the Christian belief,
Harry escaped death when he was a baby. When he was a young boy, he realized he was destined to destroy evil. When he grew older, he realized he needed to die. When he did die, he came back to life and conquered evil.
Dear high schoolers,
They lie about not being able to use calculators in real life.
Dear college,
I know you really want all the loans paid off... do you mind if I pay you in gum?
Dear kid telling me to stop being such a nerd,
I saw the grade on your paper.
Dear Dora ,
My bag holds more stuff than yours does and doesn't talk back...
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