Dear boy who opened the door for me,
I'm sorry that I didn't notice you and went through the other door. Thank you for chasing me down, dragging me back into the building with you and making me go through the door while you held it.
Sincerely, You made my life...and now I have a crush on you!
You are just my oversized Sims game
Dear "Pretty" girls at my school,
You do realize that back in the 1800's, the only women who wore make-up were prostitutes?
Sincerely, it explains SO much.
Dear Ambercrombie and Fitch,
Why do all your stores have the same smell? Like a combination of date rape and bulimia?
I thought you were texting in class. Instead, I see you playing Pokemon on a Gameboy Advance. Carry on.
So, if nobody jumps off a cliff, will YOU jump off?
Dear twin sister,
I'll take your french final if you take my math final?
Sincerely, college here we come!
Dear "I wasnt that drunk",
You were going around the bar, dipping your fingers in wine and then rubbing people's foreheads and saying "simba!"
Sincerely, yeah you were pretty drunk
Dear makers of cherry medicine,
Have you ever tasted a damn cherry?
Sincerely, the world
Dear Oxygen and Potassium,
Congrats on getting married. It may be none of my Bismuth, but your wedding wasn't great, it was OK.
Sincerely, a chemistry major.
Dear Chinese best friend,
I love how you got a tattoo that says "made in China"
Sincerely, you're hilarious
Dear health teacher,
Sex Ed is awkward by itself, but the fact that you're pregnant only makes it worse.
Sincerely, horrified student
Dear website insisting that my PC has caught a virus,
Sincerely, using a Mac.
Please stop the period jokes
Sincerely, You're ovary acting