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Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Dear reader,
ಠ_ಠ
Dear buyers,
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Dear Channing Tatum,
PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
Dear guy in algebra that yelled "HOW DO YOU ADD LETTERS",
I'm pretty sure I love you
Dear sister,
Your complaints about the monster under your bed offend me.
Dear Febreze,
So I took someone to a sketchy warehouse, blindfolded them, and then told them to take a deep breath.
Dear "America runs on Dunkin",
That's cute
Dear Men,
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Dear Prince Charming,
Five more minutes...
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear Students,
Please stop going in bars when you're underage... or at least, go in another bar!!! You're not supposed to see me like this!
Dear Iceburg,
Please send my regards to global warming. Karma's a b****.
Dear $800 sweater,
Are you made of unicorn hair?
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