Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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ALL TIME
Dear Dad,
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Dear mailmen,
I now fully understand your pain.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Dear children of the next generation,
Please accept this early apology for all of your names
Dear world,
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Dear Trojan Vibrator Commercial,
Thanks for making it just a tad bit awkward as I was watching TV with my parents.
Dear Trojan condom commercial,
"These condoms were tested three times." So...you're telling me this is someone's JOB? TO TEST CONDOMS?
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Dear gullible boys,
I loved seeing your face when I told you girls go to the bathroom together because there are two toilets in a stall and girls don't want to go to the bathroom with a stranger...
Dear penis,
Thanks for not bleeding every month
Dear twilight fans,
I saw a man with a shirt that said, "team: guy who almost nailed bella with a car."
Dear Older Brother,
Please give me a heads up the next time you have friends over.
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