Dear obnoxious teenagers in the pool,
I'm only enforcing the rules so that you don't all end up on backboards together. You may want to be more respectful to the one person in the room who could potentially have to save your life.
Sincerely, the lifeguard
Dear American girls,
Why is the title of "sexy accent" limited to British, Irish, Australian, French, and Italian boys?
Sincerely, crushing on the Dane in my history class
Dear Man in the Grocery Store,
Please don't wear yoga pants ever again.
Sincerely, a scarred teenage girl
Americans are only considered fat because everyone is classified as fat here unless your a size 00
Sincerely, average-weight American
Dear person sitting behind me in the library,
What is the point in wearing headphones if I can still hear your music from 10 feet away?
Sincerely, irritated student who's trying to study
Dear guy that everyone says is a douche,
You brought me food at 10pm to my practice as I bawled my eyes out, makeup running, in costume and just sat and held me.
If I love myself, I'm conceited. If I don't love myself, I'm an attention whore. WTF
Sincerely, Not sure what you want.
Dear everyone that bullied me in middle school,
I'm so glad I didn't listen to you.
Sincerely, walking in my first fashion show tonight
Dear people who think that they get straight A's because they are geniuses ,
No, it's because at my school, your A is my C
Sincerely, ivy preparatory league school kid
The fact that you can see if the other person viewed your picture is a blessing and a curse.
Sincerely, I sent a picture to my crush, and I'm waiting for a reply
Dear person who just rear-ended me,
Thank you for singing "like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" When we got out.
Sincerely, don't worry, you're covered
Dear smoking person I passed on my bike this morning,
Please forgive me for fake coughing. That was a seriously jerky move on my part. I have habits just as bad and worse; it's not my place to judge you.
Sincerely, guilty passerby
I'm mute. Not deaf.
Sincerely, there is no need to shout
Dear English teacher,
Please learn to spell. This is college level stuff.
Sincerely, it's 'cynical,' not 'cinycal.'
Dear people who answer their phones in the quiet area of the library,
Please don't make me chuck a reference book at your head.
Sincerely, students who care more about studying for their finals than hearing about your weekend plans.