Dear Cough-drop companies,
Please make more, better tasting flavors.
Sincerely, gag everytime I suck on a cherry-flavored cough drop.
Please stop complaining about how horrible our generation is, you raised us.
Sincerely, annoyed kid who doesn't deserve all the blame
Dear video game store employee,
Please stop looking at me like I'm a wuss. I'm getting this game because my two year old niece loves my pet rats
Sincerely, I'd rather her watch me play Ratatouille than any shooter game
Dear those uninformed,
Please understand that the Bible is figurative. The "seven days" was billions of years, dinosaurs existed, and the Bible corresponds/agrees with Evolution.
Sincerely, a Christian scientist
Dear customers talking on their phones when they pull into the drive-thru,
We can hear you.
Sincerely, waiting to take your order because I'm dying to know more about this Paul character.
Dear nicest boy I know,
You're right. You do deserve to get the girl. Unfortunately, appearances do matter and she can't get over your smell, size, and acne.
Sincerely, the girl you're after, who doesn't deserve you anyway.
Dear best friend,
On the school residential you woke me up at 5 every morning by vomiting noisily in the bathroom next door. You're eating for two and have changed all your tastes. You've missed your periods for a few months and your boobs and stomach are growing. Plus,, you just told me you'd had sex with two local boys and your brother.
Sincerely, stop kidding yourself and buy the pregnancy test
Please realise that when I say 'I don't like hugs' it is not an invitation to hug me. I have a very good reason not to like them. I also have a fight-or-flight instinct that is pretty much stuck on 'fight'.
Sincerely, I'm a firm believer in second chances. But not third ones.
Dear woman driving the car next to me,
Please stop painting your nails while driving. You almost hit me.
Sincerely, the woman in the car next to you.
Dear Friend with benefits,
Please make up your mind about what we are.
Sincerely, confused and hurt and in love with you.
Please stop saying "just roll with the punches"
Sincerely, what if I never stop being hit?
Dear youth pastor,
I've stopped trying to understand the crazy, random things we do at youth group. The Harlem Shake was fun, seeing you in a dress and wig was better.
Sincerely, I wouldn't leave you guys for anything.
Dear anti-gay people,
Remember when the black community had to fight for their right & the people who were against it look really stupid now? Well in 50 years, that's how youre gonna look in the textbooks.
Sincerely, have fun having little kids be disgusted by you
Dear teenage population,
Just because I choose to have sex with my boyfriend does not mean I'm a slut or that I'm stupid. It means that I'm in love with him, and my personal life is none of your business.
Sincerely, it's called birth control and condoms. If you're gonna do it, at least be safe about it.
Dear Mother Nature,
I know you have a tendency to sneak up on me at the worst possible times, but just one thing I ask is that you stay away from my wedding day or I may have to shoot you.
Sincerely, I'm calling my wedding off if that happens