Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Britney Spears,
Dear Britney Spears.
Dear parents,
Wait, so you named me after bread? Seriously?
Dear little brother,
You made my day when you saw the model on the underwear package and said, "Well HE must be embarrassed."
Dear really big guy at the tattoo parlor with so many tattoos and piercings,
Thank you for asking my friend if her purse was a Vera Bradley and perfectly naming the style
Dear telemarketer,
Sorry for answering the phone with "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?".
Dear 11 year old,
Please continue riding your bike down the street and singing "ridin' dirty."
Dear mom,
No, the song lyrics are not "now I'm feelin' so so like a cheese stick."
Dear math teacher,
Why can't I add apples to oranges?
Dear poets,
Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.
Dear body,
I think you arranged yourself upside down.
Dear world,
You take so many unecessary showers.
Dear best man,
Please forgive me for that embarrassing speech. It was all my fault.
Dear Glee,
How old are you now? Because i'm pretty sure that there are no 30 year old students at MY high school.
Dear computer,
Why does it take less than a second for Facebook to load but twenty minutes for my homework assignment to download?
Dear shampoo and conditioner,
Victory! I finished you both at the same time!
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