Dear Recruitment Agencies,
Please stop calling at 9:00am. You're dealing with the unemployed. If we don't answer the phone it's not because we didn't get to it in time, we're just enjoying what little benefits we have.
Sincerely, Tired and Frustrated.
Dear women afraid of blood,
How is that even possible?
Sincerely, confused woman
Thank you for being amazing and taking care of me while I was drunk and not being a standard college boy and take advantage of a drunk girl
Sincerely, Your Loving Girlfriend
Dear Americans who constantly trash the United States and say they hate the country,
Please either work towards making the country a better place for everyone or get out.
Sincerely, a fellow American
Thank you for helping me raise money to move to Tennessee even though you still claim I am three. I know you don't want me to go, but I am ready for this.
Sincerely, I love you so much.
Please stop freaking out over every little thing.
Sincerely, there are worse problems than someone eating some of your soup.
Dear boy who wondered why I never had a boyfriend,
Please understand that I read books, and I read about all these wonderful fairytales. All I wish is to have one happen to me.
Sincerely, I'll wait for my fairytale.
Please tell me why you used a broom instead of literally any other form of magical transport to respond to that 'urgent' owl from the Ministry.
Sincerely, It's like you wanted Quirrell to get the stone.
Please stop refusing to learn how to use the computer. You were the first person in the family to get a laptop yet after nearly two decades, you can't even send an email. Don't let your age determine your ability to learn. Mom has been doing great.
Sincerely, college daughter who is a bit tired from doing all your work for 8 years
I'm not racist, but cinnamon muffins are just fan-freaking-tastic.
Sincerely, told you I wasn't racist.
Please tell me, do you really have 1000 year old plumbing?
Sincerely, Salazar Slytherin master of toilets
Dear Donald Trump,
Please stop. Just stop.
Dear Cupcake liner makers,
Can you please explain why you always put 50 cupcake liners in a package? You can make 12 cupcakes using 1 cupcake pan so after 4 pans I have 2 left over.
Sincerely, Now I need to by another package.
Dear Harry Potter,
Please tell me, did you just burn Quirrell's face off with your bare hands?
Sincerely, This is darker than I remember