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Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Dear world,
How do mermaids reproduce?
Dear gangsta,
If your pants were up, you might have gotten away.
Dear whoever made the desk/chair combo for colleges,
Please fix the center of gravity on those things.
Dear doctor looking in my ear,
I broke my ankle...
Dear Girls who have Orange spray tans,
Oompa loompa doopity dooooooooo.....
Dear dreams,
I like how I can do anything in them and no one will ever know.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear Kate and Willam,
If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal then will that make your son be the half blood prince?
Dear Future,
Please let me marry a guy named Jesse so I can be Jesse's girl. Have a dughter named Stacey so I can be, Stacey's mom. And have a son named Luke so I can say "Luke I am your mother!".
Dear Victoria's Secret models,
Don't you just hate it when you're wandering the woods in your bra and panties and someone takes a picture?!
Dear jerks who say they don't date fat girls,
I may be fat but you're ugly
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
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