Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear daughter's prom date,
Come on in, son! Would you like to see my gun and knife collection?
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Dear I love you like Snape loves Lily,
I love you like Lily loves Snape.
Dear Colorado,
It's illegal for a man to kiss his wife while she's sleeping?
Dear "soap-free" soap,
Huh?
Dear Carrie Underwood,
We give you props, but next time maybe you shouldn't carve your name in the seats. It's a dead giveaway.
Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,
Please make your straws longer than the bottles
Dear runner,
Yes, I see you checking yourself out in the shop windows.
Dear fellow schoolmates,
I was so proud when all four hundred of us left the gym when the DJ played a Justin Beiber song.
Dear roommate who left for a week to Iowa,
Thank you for leaving me completely unsupervised and in ownership of a big screen TV, surround sound speakers, and all eight Harry Potter movies.
Dear iPhone ,
Please stop changing my bad words into good words
Dear thirsty person trying to get the last bit of water at the bottom of the cup,,
Hold brothers. Hold. Charge!!
Dear Aunt who bought me a Rubix Cube,
uh...thanks?
Dear hipsters,
Please refrain from using the phrase 'booyah'. There is only one person that can pull that off.
Dear two-ply toilet paper,
I guess it's true. You don't really know what you have until it's gone.
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