Function you. I want you X'd out of my life 4 good. Y? Because you have foiled my overall GPA. I want you factored out of my classes and distributed into a science class. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat some pi.
Sincerely, Bored DBPBer
Who do you think you're fooling? You are NOT milk's favorite cookie.
Sincerely, Chips Ahoy
Dear parents against vaccines,
Homeschool your kids if you don't want them catching a cold from us. I also don't want the flu from them since they didn't get a vaccine.
Sincerely, annoyed person who doesn't like to be around people, but sick people in particular
Dear English teachers,
Today I graded papers for my own teacher as I already read the book. The test they had was open book and about 5 out of 7 failed.
Sincerely, how do you do it?
Dear People who only preach about "equality" for a certain group,
If the LGBT community can have Gay,Lesbian,Bi, or Trans parades, then I want to be able to have a Straight parade or no sexual orientation gets to have one. If the Black community gets a whole month dedicated to their history then there should also be a White, Hispanic, and also Asian History Months or no race gets one. If women want to be treated as equals to men then they also need to take on the responsibilities and consequences it comes with and not get favored in places like courts.
Sincerely, The person who sees inequality everywhere
Dear Anatasia Steele from Fifty Shades of Grey,
It is not BDSM. It is abuse. Run.
Sincerely, A REAL submissive
Please understand how much I appreciate our "workout" competition.
Sincerely, your girlfriend with more confidence than ever. :)
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.
Sincerely, Am I a freak of nature??
Why didn't you just write out a message to Eric?
Sincerely, confused Disney-loving teen
Please be generous.
We need some good news! I just got engaged!
Sincerely, Happiest Girl Around!
Dear people who use the "free speech" defence,
Free speech allows you to escape punishment for criticising the government. It does not give you free reign to say whatever you like. While you can say whatever you like, you will receive consequences. Try telling your boss to "go fuck himself" and watch as you get fired. Go threaten to kill a police officer and watch as you get arrested. Go spread bigotry and watch as everybody mocks you.
Sincerely, you will not get away with saying whatever you like
Dear donut holes,
Please stop tricking me into thinking you're healthier than a whole donut because you are smaller... It doesn't count when I eat fifteen of you.
Sincerely, donut shop worker who gets free donuts
You consistently show up 10 minutes late for your shifts, so of course you are going to get the crap jobs. You want to choose the best jobs, you need to get here early.
Sincerely, your non-tardy coworker
So you called in, over the phone, because you want to disuss issues with your account, but you don't want to talk about your account over the phone because it might not be secure?
Sincerely, not sure where to go from here