Please chill out. It's just a tattoo. And having a small, meaningful tattoo somewhere no one can see it does not make me "cheap" and also does not require you to scream and cry every time you speak to me for two weeks. If you don't like tattoos, don't get one.
Sincerely, your daughter aka the "problem child"
Dear extended family,
Please don't be homophobic, please don't be homophobic, please don't be homophobic...
Sincerely, bringing my partner home for Thanksgiving for the first time.
I haven't smoked in at least 6 years. You aren't even aware that I've gotten married. How in the world did you find out my new address?
Sincerely, And everyone is scared of the NSA.
Please stop looking over my shoulder when im taking a test
Sincerely, a already stressed out student
Dear male friend who likes our mutual female friend,
Please, just get together. The tension is irritating all of us to death. Just please man up, she likes you too!
Sincerely, all your friends who are tired of watching you two
Dear math teacher,
Please stop having us write full papers on our feelings. It's really pretty weird.
Sincerely, frustrated student who's in this for MATH, not English
Please don't call my date a jerk for "making me pay" for our date. I was the one who asked him out to dinner, so I should be the one to pay!
Sincerely, your daughter who doesn't care about gender roles and think that whoever asks for the date should be
A girl in my class told me that the language spoken in Mexico is "Mexican".
Sincerely, Take a good look at our future folks...
Please learn the difference between bored and hungry
Sincerely, gaining pounds quickly
What did I ever do to you?
Sincerely, a girl who just wants to go to school without feeling like crap
Dear Friends and coworkers,
Please stop asking how old my fiancee is when I say I got engaged. Yes, shes 30 and I'm 22, we love each other and can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.
Sincerely, we'll be together longer than the eight year gap that ever separated us.
Please stop shoving all this crap about weight down my throat. It's killing me.
Sincerely, the "perfect" girl with an eating disorder
I now know why you're called that...
Sincerely, I think I have broken my bum...
Dear people who think it's awkward seeing their teacher buying condoms at a club grocery shopping etc.,
Newsflash: teachers are people too.
Dear School Architects,
Please don't design the two buildings on campus to be exact replicas of each other, but then have the men's and women's bathrooms switch sides in the hallway.
Sincerely, I swear I did not walk in there on purpose