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ALL TIME
Dear video game store employee,
Please stop looking at me like I'm a wuss. I'm getting this game because my two year old niece loves my pet rats
Dear those uninformed,
Please understand that the Bible is figurative. The "seven days" was billions of years, dinosaurs existed, and the Bible corresponds/agrees with Evolution.
Dear Cocaine Addiction,
Please let me go. We have been good friends now for 6 years. No one knows about our relationship except you and I. We have had our good times and bad times...but I have given you my time, money, and my youth. It's time for me to part with you...or die trying.
Dear Amazing Friend,
Please don't make me wait another year for you to like me back.
Dear People who want Cheap Accessable flying cars,
It is hard enough for you to drive on two dimensions. Imagine how how many accidents there would be in three. Plus, think of where the cars would land when they crash.
Dear guys who think girls should be in the kitchen,
Why and how are you still alive? No one likes you, therefore no one will date you, and that means goodbye sandwitch and other foods you are apparently too stupid to make yourself.
Dear customers talking on their phones when they pull into the drive-thru,
We can hear you.
Dear Dog,
I wish you weighed a less so that our lion king renditions looked a little more dramatic.
Dear people who say we'll all die from ebola,
Of course we will. Just like we all died from swine flu, avian flu, SARS and mad cow disease?
Dear kiss cam,
It was awkward when you put me and my best girl friend at first, but I'm so glad you helped us have our first kiss
Dear Postal industry,
You're welcome.
Dear world,
I just wanted you to know that I am aware that I am short.
Dear people who make Hufflepuff jokes,
Please know that we don't FIND your jokes very funny.
Dear "gay people will ruin the sanctity of marriage",
If you need to compare your marriage to those of others for it to have meaning, then you are the one with a weak marriage.
Dear college,
If I can walk into the first day of a course, take the book, never attend a day save the midterm and the final, and still ace both tests leaving me with an A+, there's something wrong.
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