Please forgive me. I promised I'd never be one of those drunks who clogged up the system. I don't know what happened, what went wrong. I tried to drown a terrible month, nothing new there, and then suddenly I'm missing five hours of my life, suffering from hypothermia so badly it would have been cause for medical care on it's own, and with a tube in my arm. I never meant for this to happen. You were nothing but professional, which was far more than I deserved. I hope my future regular donations of blood go some way to lessening the debt I owe you.
Sincerely, A very remorseful idiot.
Dear 5 year old sister,
Thanks for listening to my problems even though you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Sincerely, your 13 year old sister
Dear teacher who doesn't actually teach us anything,,
Just because you're ready to give the test doesn't mean we're ready to take it.
Sincerely, need more time to learn the stuff that you were supposed to teach us.
Dear woman next door who screams every night,
Please stop screaming, or atleast inform me if you're being abused or just having wild sex.
Sincerely, concerned and disturbed neighbor.
Dear Potty-Training Nephew,
If you have to go to the bathroom, please notify an adult... especially if you are going to be sitting on laps.
Sincerely, The Uncle Whose Pants You Also Peed...
You mean to tell me we've come up with nuclear bombs yet we can't find a way to get rid of the painfully awkward lag on news channels when going to someone "on the scene"?
Sincerely, it never fails to make me uncomfortable
Dear pirates who kidnapped me for ransom,
Please know I enjoyed my time with you, am glad you took my advice of more than doubling my ransom (what you demanded hardly matched my worth), respect you for holding up your bargain upon being paid the aforementioned ransom, and hope there are no hard feelings with me honoring my promise to return to execute each and every one of you
Sincerely, Julius Caesar
Dear judgmental virgin girls in my school ,
Please, we've been together for years, talk regularly about marriage and kids, and I wear the promise ring he gave me
Sincerely, that's not the definition of a slut
Please get exciting already.
Sincerely, still waiting.
Dear Girl staring at the muslim guy,
Please don"t just assume he is being stereotypical. after all he hasn't said anything
Sincerely, what makes you think that he thinks you're dreaming he is a terrorist. come on
Everyone's a little bit racist.
Sincerely, Avenue Q
Why must you all be "dry flat only"?! There are no more flat surfaces in my apartment!
Sincerely, sundresses never do this to me
Dear people who defend Islam by saying "the same stuff happens in the Bible",
The Bible and Quran are interperated differently and beliefs regarding the texts are different in the religions
Sincerely, the next time a mass Muslim geneocide is being commited by Christians, then you'll have a point
Dear automatic toilet,
Please stop flushing
Sincerely, I'm still peeing.
When I was younger, I dreamed of opening a motorcycle shop/ dealer in my town. I quickly realized that that possibility was highly unlikely, so I almost completely gave up on it. Twelve years later, I'm opening a motorcycle dealer/ shop in my local town.
Sincerely, Though dreams can seem terribly unlikely, they aren't necessarily impossible