Thank you for "shipping" me and my crush!
Sincerely, maybe he'll take the hint
Please tell me what Chuck E. Cheese's middle name is
Sincerely, one curious kid since 5 years old
Dear Westboro Baptist,
There are homosexual Christians in the world. If God, AKA 'our controller', really had anything against what they do, he probably would have done something about it by now.
Sincerely, a heterosexual semi-Christian
Please stop locking yourselves out of your rooms. Your adults bring your key with you!
Sincerely, Your RA
Dear people who are panicking because they hae "flu-like symptoms",
You do not have ebola.
Sincerely, you have the flu
Dear George Michael,
Please understand we knew you were gay all along, love you this way, and don't want you to change. We only pretended you were het so our boring boyfriends would dance.
Sincerely, 80s Party Girls
Dear new friend request,
I have never met you before and we have no mutual friends
Sincerely, how did you find me?
Please start working.
Sincerely, Need some fucking help here
Yes i am talking back to you, that's how a conversation works.
Dear "Driving around town with the girl I love",
I see you and I'm like... You know what I'm like.
Dear homework ,
Thanks to you I have cleaned my room done my laundry and walked my dog and did the dishes
Dear person who decided woman should shave their legs,,
Please tell me why this was necessary.
Sincerely, lazy female
I thought the M stood for music, not maternity...
Sincerely, you had me fooled
Please move Minecraft's engine from the resource sucking Java to the much better DirectX. And while you're at it, could you please optimize the game for multi core CPUs? There is no excuse for the game to use only four cores on a six core CPU and then shove 80% of the load onto only one of those four, while the remaining three get the rest.
Sincerely, longtime Minecraft player