Dear Asians who complain when people don't know what county you're from ,
Well I bet you can't guess what European country I'm from
Sincerely, we're not all British
Please understand that employing rats to make clothing is frowned upon in all kingdoms.
Sincerely, no one wants rabies in their clothing
Dear Internet users,
Buffering, yeah that was me.
Dear Westboro Baptist,
There are homosexual Christians in the world. If God, AKA 'our controller', really had anything against what they do, he probably would have done something about it by now.
Sincerely, a heterosexual semi-Christian
Dear people who are panicking because they hae "flu-like symptoms",
You do not have ebola.
Sincerely, you have the flu
Dear George Michael,
Please understand we knew you were gay all along, love you this way, and don't want you to change. We only pretended you were het so our boring boyfriends would dance.
Sincerely, 80s Party Girls
Dear new friend request,
I have never met you before and we have no mutual friends
Sincerely, how did you find me?
Please start working.
Sincerely, Need some fucking help here
Dear Honors and AP Teachers,
Please understand that students DO have a life outside of school
Sincerely, Student with five hours of homework
Yes i am talking back to you, that's how a conversation works.
Dear "Driving around town with the girl I love",
I see you and I'm like... You know what I'm like.
Dear homework ,
Thanks to you I have cleaned my room done my laundry and walked my dog and did the dishes
Dear person who decided woman should shave their legs,,
Please tell me why this was necessary.
Sincerely, lazy female
Please make iPhone chargers a few feet longer.
Sincerely, iPhone owners everywhere.