If you can read this, make me a sammich.
Sincerely, a boy
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
Please make another book for the Twilight series. Please, I am begging you.
Dear fat people,
Please stop parading your lard on the street and lose some weight. You disgust me.
Sincerely, Slim Jim.
At least wear name tags or something.
Sincerely, The rest of the world
Please get a bikini wax. You look ridiculous with hair sticking out of your granny panties.
Please stop muttering to yourself and forgetting things. If you keep this up, I'm putting you in an old folks home.
Sincerely, your oldest granddaughter.
Dear idiot down the street,
No one cares if you are the only person in the neighborhood with a 62'' flat screen 3D LED TV. I just had sex with your girlfriend for the 4th time since monday, that's enough hi def entertainment for me. There are some things money can't buy...
Sincerely, the naked guy in your house, on your computer right now.
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
"I didn't know you were coming over" is no excuse for not shaving your legs.
Sincerely, grossed out boyfriend.
Dear chubby girls,
HA! No, no, no... Skinny jeans do not make you appear skinny... Nice try though... 'A' for effort.
Dear People complaining about grammar,
It's 2010, grammar doesn't matter anymore.
Dear Fat People,
Stop messing up the whole rack when you search for your XXL shirts at the bottom. Thanks.
Sincerely, Pissed off worker
Please ignore what they are saying. You're doing a great job!
Sincerely, Faithful American
Please hurry up and die.