Dear Clothing Stores,
Do us all a favor and hide the skinny jeans in sizes 12 and up.
We suggest a car with a roof next time.
Sincerely, Secret Service
Do you see in widescreen?
Sincerely, curious Caucasian.
Dear people who were c-section babies,
Technically, you weren't born, you were removed... like a tumor.
Did you know they called it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken?
Sincerely, thought you ought to know...
Dear Michael Jackson,
You really should have became a Catholic Priest... The pay isn't great, but the benefits...
Sincerely, the Pope
Dear Little Girls,
I'm just preparing you for real life.
Sincerely, the Easy Bake Oven
Dear judgamental people,
I drink, smoke, do drugs, love partying and have sex with boys. I'm also 19, in my third year at Yale, have never been pregnant, never had a car accident, read a 1000 books and have an IQ of 139.
Sincerely, what stereotypical name are you going to call me now?
Dear cute barista at Starbucks,
I flirt with you because I'm broke and I want a free drink... Not because you're cute.
Sincerely, thanks for the free venti iced coffee!
Did you just insult our health care benefits? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over our FLAG on the MOON.
I know I screwed everything up, but thanks for blaming it on the black guy.
Sincerely, George W. Bush.
See you later!
Sincerely, Your dinner
Thank you for giving us the ablity to pee standing up. P.S. We also appreciate not having to give birth.
I know your eyes are up there... I wasn't looking at your eyes.
Sincerely, a guy