Dear blind guy walking with the cane outside my window,
Please keep the tapping noise to a minimum... HEY! WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?! Look at me when I'm talking to you!
Dear kid that wants to be Harry Potter,
I just killed your parents, you're welcome!
Sincerely, now you are one step closer.
Im 16 now, can I PLEASE get a bra?
Sincerely, your son, Justin B
Being underwater isn't all bad...
Dear the fat girl in our group of friends,
We love you, but please stop calling yourself fat in front of us. It's not our fault, and it just makes things really awkward.
Sincerely, tired of lying to your face
Sincerely, the world.
Dear gay midgets,
Do you come out of the cupboard?
You have to ask us out, you have to pay for the date, you have to call first, you have to buy the ring, you have to propose, and you have to put up with PMS.
Sincerely, the least we can do is make you a sammich.
Dear Biggest Loser,
Thank you for making me feel skinny.
Sincerely, geez they're huge...
Please don't come out of the closet.
Sincerely, a homophobic child
Is it too soon to ask what's shakin'?
We only hold the door to check out your butts.
Dear Steve Jobs,
So, I guess an Apple a day didn't keep the doctor away?
Sincerely, open the Windows for fresh air next time.
Dear Liberal Arts Majors,
I'd like a Venti latte with no foam.
Sincerely, Engineering Majors