Dear Slutty Girls at School,
Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear?
Sincerely, Oh Wait!
Dear girl who says she has double D's,
You must be talking about your grades, right?
Sincerely, the smart girl who knows you stuff your bra
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
Thanks for not bleeding every month
I kind of wish the tree fell on your head instead of the apple... no offense.
Sincerely, failing physics
Dear Disney Princesses,
How do you all speak English??
Sincerely, Belle is French, Pocahontas is Native American, and Ariel lives under freaking water.
When you told me that the USB port on the laptop is ''female'' because the male always goes into the female... What part of that sounded OK in your head?
Sincerely, choking on my apple juice.
Sorry I don't put any meat in my mouth.
Sincerely, a vegetarian
Dear baby stroller package,
Thank you so much for reminding me that the baby in picture is not included with the stroller. Without that I would have been very disappointed...
Sincerely, ...said no one.
Dear world ,
Please be aware, that, if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, you won't get approximately 9 3/4 of the jokes we make.
Sincerely, See what I did there? Nope? Read Harry Potter.
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Boo, you whore.
Sincerely, Regina George
Dear person yelling shotgun,
Sincerely, not getting up