Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear fat girls,
Please stop calling skinny girls "fake". You are what you eat. I eat organic, you eat processed crap. I think we all know which one is fake...
Dear extremely overweight women,
Please stop wearing clothes that would only fit if you were 100 pounds lighter.
Dear cute girl,
I can be a douchebag boyfriend who abuses you on a daily basis too, you know. Give me a try.
Dear girl who laughs at me for wearing a purity ring,
I heard your pregnant...?
Dear teachers who say "no one looks at their crotch and smiles" when they think we're texting,
I do, and if you could see it, you would too...
Dear sluts,
I hope your finals are as easy as you are.
Dear parents,
Please be nice to me. After all, I do choose your nursing home.
Dear Mom,
Rememer how you told me that you wish I was more like Heather from school? Because Heather runs track, lost 40 pounds, gets asked to dances all the time and now has a cute boyfriend? Well, if it's any interest to you, today Heather dropped out of school because she's three months pregnant and needs to get a full time job at McDonald's to support herself and the baby.
Dear substitute teacher,
The class isn't laughing because your jokes are funny, they're laughing because you tucked your shirt into your Star War's underwear...
Dear bi-lingual people,
I can speak 2 languages, English and Starbucks.
Dear Ronald McDonald,
It's really sad that kids recognize you more easily than our president, or even a picture of Jesus.
Dear government,
Please stop referring to my deafness as a disability. If anything, it's made my life better. Also, stop calling it hearing loss, I never lost it and I'm not going to find it any time soon...
Dear person in stall next to me,
Your cough may cover the sound, but sure doesn't cover the smell.
Dear teacher,
I talk to everyone, so moving my seat doesn't help.
Dear quiet customers,
I understand that you might be shy, but I'm trying to hear you over the in-store music, the sound of registers, a baby crying a few aisles away and the cafe next door.
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