Dear lesbian couple in my class,
So how does this work... you both make sandwiches for each other?
Sincerely, a curious male.
You complain that you can't take your shirt off on a hot day like boys can. But please know that you are more than welcome to.
Dear teenage girls,
If you have succeeded in copying our style and make-up. Congratulations!
The silent treatment isn't really a punishment.
Dear upset, overweight woman,
Since we were both sitting in the OBGYN office I thought it was safe to assume...
Sincerely, oops, you were just waiting for a friend...
I eat the cows which produce the methane gas that effect global warming. You guys eat the plants that could fix global warming. So who is REALLY killing the planet?
Sincerely, meat lovers.
Oh, the whore-or!
Sincerely, get it?
Dear Taylor Swift,
Guys will never want to date you if you keep singing about every relationship you have ever had.
Sincerely, just tryin' to help a sister out...
Dear [insert: current president here],
You suck! You're the worst president ever! The [insert: other party] would do such a better job! It's totally your fault that [insert: foreign power, gas prices, natural disaster, or lack of parking places] is ruining everything!
You give out more mixed signals than Helen Keller directing traffic!
Sincerely, annoyed and confused girls.
Don't worry about magazines telling you you're fat; porn sites tell us we need penis enlargements all the time.
Why did you bring me a BILL?
Sincerely, I clearly asked for a check.
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Sincerely, confused and slightly concerned.
Dear cat that thinks the stove is a good place to sit,
Please be warned. If you keep sitting there I will have to assume you want to be cooked.
Sincerely, don't test me bro. I'll cook you!