Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girls,
Roses are red, violets are blue, keep your boobs in your shirt, we'll stop staring at you.
Dear old women shopping at Forever 21,
Forever 41 is next door...
Dear obese person in the drive-thru,
A double cheeseburger, extra large fry, and a SMALL DIET coke.
Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,
Are you dyslexic??
Dear homeless person,
I hope you enjoy the brownies I gave you.
Dear women,
It's not men's fault they look at your boobs. More massive objects bend more light.
Dear math,
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Dear boys,
Please recognize that when a girl gets randomly shoved into you in the middle of the hall, it means she likes you.
Dear witchy popular girl,
I would say, "I may be a nerd, but watch out, I'll be your boss someday," but I don't think that's gonna happen.
Dear teachers who insist that I stay quiet during a fire drill,
Is the fire going to hear us?
Dear glasses wearer,
Please note that if you leave your glasses lying around, I will inevitably try them on.
Dear minivan with the TV in the back,
Please stop switching lanes. I was watching that.
Dear skinny guy riding a motorcycle who nodded at me,
Just because you are riding a motorcycle does not automatically make you cool or attractive.
Dear OCD,
Want to hear a joke?
Dear boys,
You send out more mixed signals than Helen Keller directing traffic.
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