Please don't tell me that I am too old to have an imaginary friend. You are almost 50 and you have one too! God is not real...
Sincerely, your annoyed daughter
Dear Psychology majors,
If you want to know about the brain, study Neuroscience.
Sincerely, someone who is actually studying science
Dear door-to-door religious converters,
Please realize that you are wasting your time trying to "sell" your religion to those who are well-educated. A better use of your time may be to start studying about science and evolution.
Sincerely, a well-informed atheist
Dear Girls on dating sites,
Just because you put "Body Type: Curvy" in your profile, doesn't mean I can't tell that you're fat.
Sincerely, Guys on dating sites
Dear single people of the world,
Please understand that you will not meet the person of your dreams while you are drunk at a bar.
Sincerely, someone who met their love at church
Dear Sophia Vergara,
Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap.
Sincerely, I need a tissue.
Dear Taylor Swift,
With that kind of dating history, have you ever thought that the problem might lie within you?
Sincerely, a good girlfriend
Dear people who do not believe in evolution,
How can you not believe the most educated people in the world?
Sincerely, Religion is ruining our world
Dear religious people,
If you knew your child would grow up gay, would you allow for abortion then?
Sincerely, an atheist
Dear person who dropped their phone in water,
You should put it in rice. The rice will attract Asians and they will fix the problem.
Sincerely, you're welcome
Dear no filter Instagrammers,
Please stop tagging with #nofilter on your photos. We can all tell by how awful they are.
Sincerely, a filter using Instagrammer
Dear popular girls,
I would say some day you'll be working for me, but I'm not planning on buying Hooters...
Sincerely, nerdy girls
Dear Miley Cyrus,
You need a butt to twerk...
Sincerely, a curvy woman
Winners do use drugs. Lance Armstrong, Michael Phelps, and Charlie Sheen... You're going to have to think of some other way to keep us from using drugs.
Sincerely, your experimental students