Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Slutty Girls at School,
Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear?
Dear girl who says she has double D's,
You must be talking about your grades, right?
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
Dear penis,
Thanks for not bleeding every month
Dear Newton,
I kind of wish the tree fell on your head instead of the apple... no offense.
Dear Disney Princesses,
How do you all speak English??
Dear dad,
When you told me that the USB port on the laptop is ''female'' because the male always goes into the female... What part of that sounded OK in your head?
Dear guys,
Sorry I don't put any meat in my mouth.
Dear baby stroller package,
Thank you so much for reminding me that the baby in picture is not included with the stroller. Without that I would have been very disappointed...
Dear world ,
Please be aware, that, if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, you won't get approximately 9 3/4 of the jokes we make.
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Boo, you whore.
Dear person yelling shotgun,
Rosa Parks
Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
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