Roses are red, violets are blue, keep your boobs in your shirt, we'll stop staring at you.
Dear old women shopping at Forever 21,
Forever 41 is next door...
Sincerely, shop your OWN age.
Dear obese person in the drive-thru,
A double cheeseburger, extra large fry, and a SMALL DIET coke.
Sincerely, let me guess, you are watching your weight...
Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,
Are you dyslexic??
Sincerely, it's "Prom" not "Porn".
Dear homeless person,
I hope you enjoy the brownies I gave you.
Sincerely, high as a kite.
It's not men's fault they look at your boobs. More massive objects bend more light.
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Sincerely, failing student.
Please recognize that when a girl gets randomly shoved into you in the middle of the hall, it means she likes you.
Sincerely, her friend that did said shoving.
Dear witchy popular girl,
I would say, "I may be a nerd, but watch out, I'll be your boss someday," but I don't think that's gonna happen.
Sincerely, I don't plan on being a pimp.
Dear teachers who insist that I stay quiet during a fire drill,
Is the fire going to hear us?
Sincerely, I didn't think so.
Dear glasses wearer,
Please note that if you leave your glasses lying around, I will inevitably try them on.
Sincerely, friend with 20/20 vision who wants to appear more intelligent.
Dear minivan with the TV in the back,
Please stop switching lanes. I was watching that.
Sincerely, distracted driver!
Dear skinny guy riding a motorcycle who nodded at me,
Just because you are riding a motorcycle does not automatically make you cool or attractive.
Sincerely, your butt crack is showing.
Want to hear a joke?
Sincerely, nevermind, it's probably too dirty...