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Dear people against abortion,
You realize birth is the leading cause of death...
Dear movie theater usher,
What's in my bag you ask? Oh just my convenient Pocket Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendment IV, which happens to state that I have the right not to be searched without a warrant. Hm. Convenient.
Dear Society,
If you want me to be chivalrous, why did you invent automatic doors? What am I supposed to do? Leave my foot on the sensor for you?
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear Teachers,
You give me impossible homework, I give you impossible handwriting.
Dear future students,
If I ever become a teacher, I will seat you based on who would be a cute couple
Dear sisters's boyfriend,,
Please keep in mind before you cheat on her, that I am one of the only people in the world who could kill you and get away with it.
Dear Emma Watson,
I understand why you quit school. I would get angry if every time I answered a question someone yelled, "10 points for Griffindoor!"
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!",
No, but I do kiss your wife.
Dear Mom,
You so sure you wanna know what my boyfriend and I were making? OK, well, it starts with a 'P' and ends with an 'O-R-N'...
Dear people giving me judging stares,
Yes I am 14 with 1 year old twins, I support myself by whoring around on street corners and make all of my purchases at dollar stores and walmart
Dear moms in Todlers in Tiaras,
I think your on the wrong show...
Dear blues clues,
Please suggest saying "do not try this at home " before jumping into a book.
Dear freshmen boys trying to grow a moustache,
Sorry, but um... You have a little bit of dirt... Yeah right there.
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