Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear feminists,
You want equal rights? You can put the dang toilet seat down.
Dear American People,
Thanks for blaming the President instead of us.
Dear Americans,
"Gay" means happy or jolly, "queer" means odd or strange, "retarded" means slowed or hindered, "dumb" means unable to speak, and "lame" means incapable of walking.
Dear friend,
You said you were giving away your jeans because they don't fit you... don't be mad because they fit me!
Dear McDonalds,
Buying a salad from you is like asking a whore for a hug.
Dear Mom,
"I was at work all day!" is not a valid excuse to make me do stuff for you.
Dear person who just asked me if I cut my hair,
No, I died the ends invisible.
Dear Math teacher who insists we wait for the bell,
31 > 1.
Dear chemistry teacher fresh out of grad school,
There are an unacceptable amount of pictures of you drunk and shirtless on your Facebook page.
Dear wife,
Please stop using PMS as an excuse. You get your period once a month, not once a week.
Dear girl I like,
Don't be concerned if a fat man puts you in a bag.
Dear little sister,
Bras are suppose to support your boobs, not create them.
Dear America,
I would like to propose a new rule: if you can't spell it correctly, don't use it to try to sound smart online.
Dear virgins,
You think YOU'RE becoming extinct? Please.
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