Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear sluts who post pictures that say "no make up!",
Please, who do you think you're fooling?
Dear teens who don't wait until they're married,
Even Sims wait until they're partners.
Dear shirtless guy's Facebook profile pic,
We wanna see a 6 pack, not your keg.
Dear whoever works with airlines,
Please don't put the fat people who fall asleep the whole flight in the isle seat.
Dear boy on the beach,
Please put your eyes back in your head where they belong
Dear gay gynecologist,
Why would you ever want to be in this field?
Dear teenage Facebook users,
Did you think that you were uploading your photos to a Playboy audition?
Dear lifeguards,
Do you realize that you make all the girls on the beach want to drown in the ocean?
Dear Halloween candy bowls that say just take one,
I can't read.
Dear daughter,
You shouldn't be worried about the long, blonde hair you found on your boyfriend's ascot. Remember he has three blonde sisters. Although, you should be worried that your boyfriend owns and wears an ascot.
Dear teacher de Español,
Gracias for teaching me mucho this año. Yo estoy ready for Cancún, Mexico this Spring Break!
Dear person I don't like who has cat allergies,
I just hugged a cat.
Dear classmate,
Next time, ask before you use my pencil or I will RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!
Dear car owner,
I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder instead.
Dear French teacher,
If you can mispronounce everything in English, I can mispronounce one word in French.
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