Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear "pretty girls",
I love watching your face when I say, "Did it hurt when you fell from..." and then proceed to say, instead of Heaven, "...the whore tree and bang every guy on the way down?".
Dear Ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend,
Cute, you wore his shirt to school. Guess he didn't tell you I used to sleep in that shirt with nothing underneath.
Dear Girl flirting with my boyfriend,
Roses are red, violets are blue, he is for me, and not for you, so if by chance you take my place, I'll take my hand and smash your face.
Dear world,
BAZINGA!!!
Dear friends,
Please stop sending me funny texts at the completely wrong moment
Dear daughter's prom date,
Come on in, son! Would you like to see my gun and knife collection?
Dear people who say you don't learn anything from tv,
3 words... Big Bang Theory
Dear friend,
Sorry I unfriended you on Facebook. I had 556 friends in total, and you know I'm OCD.
Dear people looking at me weird,
What? you haven't seen a 14 year old girl with a cape and a viking helmet ride freely on a trike before?
Dear totally perfect guy I only met once,
I have spent hours on facebook typing in every possible spelling of your first, last, and even middle name, found your school on google maps, traced bus routes to that school, and still, nothing. Congratulations, you are totally unstalkable.
Dear Girls who want chivalry,
You should consider an engineering college. Guys will fight over opening doors for you.
Dear ex boyfriend who gave my number out to people for "free sex",
That's alright, I have your iTunes password ;)
Dear guys who hate Twilight,
So I'm the gay one when I just went to a movie theatre full of girls and got half of their numbers?
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Dear dog food companies with all natural ingredients real meat and vegetables,
My dog just ate a bunch of cicadas and half a pop-tart I dropped on the ground.
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US