Dear scientists who say the universe was created by a big bang,
When a print shop explodes and the papers settle, is it possible for a dictionary to be created, ordered perfectly?
Sincerely, yeah I didn't think so.
Dear people who bring babies to restaurants,
Please stay home next time. I came to enjoy a nice meal, not to receive a private concert from your 6-month old.
Sincerely, People with common sense
Dear girls everywhere,
Please stop wearing leggings, boots and your long sleeved sorority t-shirt. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It never has been and never will be cute, stylish, fashionable, or even clothes. You are practically wearing pajamas. Plus your see through attire has forever scarred my retinas.
Sincerely, a normal teenager who actually wears clothes.
Dear Brides everywhere,
We hate you. The dresses you said we would "just die for" are hideous. They make us feel like slutty cows from how small, short, and revealing they are, we would like you to know that your death will be just as ugly and tacky as these dresses.
Sincerely, Every bridesmaid in the history of weddings
Dear College Girls who wear tight revealing clothing,
If you don't want us to look, don't wear that kind of clothing.
Sincerely, Guy who looks at your butt
When you can all cycle at the speed limit of the road, feel free to share the road with the motorists. Until that time, please stop holding me up on the road.
Sincerely, if I can get ticketed for going under the speed limit, why can't you?
Dear Breastfeeding mothers,
Please know that while you have every right to breast feed in public, it's still tacky to do so without covering up a bit.
Sincerely, I don't want to see that
Dear girls who call me a slut,
A slut? No, scuse you- I am THE slut. I am beautiful and I know I'm desirable and Im not ashamed of it. I'm sorry if you arent as confident as me to show off your body.
Sincerely, Nah, I like these shorts :)
Dear people who constantly correct grammar/spelling,
Please notice that language is an ever evolving thing. We can all agree that different formalities of language are used in different settings. Using chatspeak on the internet is an example of that. Honestly, there shouldn't be a need to correct grammar or spelling as long as the idea the internet typist is trying to convey is understood clearly.
Sincerely, a person who doesn't think the internet really needs to be grammatically correct with text
Dear girls complaining about periods,
Please consider what your diet is doing to your hormones. Using sugar and fats to alter your mood only perpetuates the problems you're having
Sincerely, try dried fruit or nuts next time!
Dear American People,
Why is prostitution illegal? Why is something that involves two consenting adults illegal? Oh that's right, because it's not being taxed
Sincerely, a person who forgot Americans fund illegal wars
Dear tv channel playing the shining,
i appreciate you not censoring anything out but it would have been nice if you censored the part where the woman turned all gross and old
Sincerely, i was eating!
You know that Harry Potter is actually pretty mainstream, right? I mean, I'm glad you have something you like so much, but it doesn't make you much of a weirdo. Maybe try some Battlestar Galactica if you want some geek cred?
Sincerely, I love Harry Potter too, just like practically ever member of our generation.
Dear Pregnant Women,
Please stop posting pictures of your pregnancy test on facebook/twitter. No one wants to see a stick you just stuck between your legs and peed on.
Sincerely, Keep some things to yourself.