Please remember that while you are bloated, cramping, and aching all over, we are scared, confused, and running out of places to hide.
Sincerely, Every Husband Who Ever Lived to Talk About It
Why is it okay for Caitlyn Jenner to identify as a woman, but not for Rachel Dolezal to identify as black?
Dear Analog Clock,
Y U SO HARD TO READ?!
Sincerely, Please get me a digital clock mom...
Dear scholarships only for minorities,
Imagine the uproar if there was a scholarship only for white people.
Sincerely, look up the word "equality" please!
You're in an ice cream shop. OF COURSE YOU WANT ICE CREAM. Next time you tell me you want ice cream. I will give you a tiny scoop of avacodo ice cream in a napkin.
Sincerely, the annoyed employee
Dear White teenage girls,
Please Stop wearing expensive rubber boots. Then refusing to step in puddles. C'mon you're fricken wearing river boots just do it!!
Dear college professors,
Please think before assigning your senior level class a 7 page paper that is due 2 weeks before we graduate. We really don't care any more.
Sincerely, I have senioritis so have fun reading my shitty paper.
Dear people who celebrate opposite day,
If everything is opposite, shouldn't you be floating?
Sincerely, that's the opposite of being pulled down by gravity.
Dear Chinese Exchange Students,
Please be advised that chewing with your mouth open in the US is considered only slightly less disgusting than farting in a restaurant.
Sincerely, I can hear you in the office nextdoor with the fan on and door closed
Dear modern rock bands,
Thanks for reminding me that real rock didn't die in the 80s and come back as the popular emo trash that's all over Tumblr.
Sincerely, an appreciative rocker
Dear teachers who think I'm ditching their classes,
Please understand I'm going through hell at home right now and you giving me an attitude isn't making it better.
Sincerely, too shy to tell you what's going on
Dear younger students stressed about exams,
Please enjoy these years, exams really don't matter! Now excuse me while I go and stress about A Levels
Sincerely, a sixth former who wants to help
Dear drunk driver that popped up on the curb in front of my house,
I hope you crash. I hope your car bursts into flames and you have to drag your broken body out of the wreckage. I hope you have to live in a wheelchair, remembering your stupidity every time you see your burned face in the mirror.
Sincerely, you came within an inch of hitting my children, you moronic jackass
Please stop reading my texts when I go to bed. My social life is none of your business.
Sincerely, your teenage daughter who just wants a little privacy!