Dear boys who wear skinny jeans,
You took the phrase 'getting into her pants' the wrong way
Sincerely, girls everywhere
Dear girls who complain about their period on DBPB,
Two can play at this game.
Sincerely, guys who can tell you all about our awkwardly-timed boners.
Dear girl who likes a "man in uniform",
Now I know why you've slept with every guy in our class.
Sincerely, I go to a Catholic School
Dear Nicki Minaj,
I thought I saw you once on a street corner in New York and freaked out.
Sincerely, but then I did a double take and realized it was just a homeless man screaming at a pigeon.
You seriously just told me to use birth control and other protection when you found out I was having sex with my girlfriend? Excuse me while I break a rib laughing!
Thank you for not bleeding every month. You're the best!
Please. Never. Ever. Ever. Ever wear a lacy hot pink thong and a pair of white shorts on field day.
Sincerely, The innocent water balloon thrower that you just gave scars for life
Sincerely, you should be studying right now
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
Dear girl trying to grind with me,
... I'm gay
Sincerely, why did you think I dance so well?
Dear Douchebag in the Check-Out line,
Please enjoy the extra small condoms I hid in your shopping cart. That really cute employee should be scanning them pretty soon now.
Sincerely, in 3.....2......1.......
Dear Middle School Health Teacher,
Thank you for teaching me how to put a condom on a banana. Thanks to your guidance, I always make sure to get a banana out of my fruit bowl and put a condom on it every time before I have sex. That way, I know I'm safe.
Sincerely, guy who wonders why the vending machines that dispense condoms don't also dispense bananas.
Dear Boy sagging his pants,
If your going to do it, don't wear your sonic the hedgehog underwear.
Sincerely, Giggling group of girls
Dear unsuspecting victim,
I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
Sincerely, The Flu