Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear drunk people,
Don't be mad at us for taking advantage of you.
Dear "If I can't get them off neither can the rapist",
What do you think the knife is for?
Dear people who leave church by the side door immediately following the sermon,
Judas left early, too.
Dear girls who sing along to every song,
You're not the one on the radio for a reason.
Dear society,
Holocaust jokes are not funny.
Dear rude customer,
Enjoy the "special" sauce.
Dear boyfriend,
The only reason I'm making you this sandwich is becuase I broke your Xbox last night when you didnt come home.
Dear officer who pulled me over for going 36 in a 35,
It should be interesting when you come to my desk at the credit union from now on.
Dear pregnant friend,
What's the difference between you and a lightbulb?
Dear mom,
I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, neither can the rapist.
Dear women,
Please stop complaining. I can assure you that our monthly "gift" is far worse.
Dear gay guys,
At least you never have to deal with a PMSing girlfriend.
Dear lady at my gym,
Please stop making sex noises every time you lift weights.
Dear boys,
Not all girls hate video games!
Dear mom and dad,
You've been hiding my Christmas presents in the same place since I was born.
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