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Dear people against abortion,
You realize birth is the leading cause of death...
Dear Society,
If you want me to be chivalrous, why did you invent automatic doors? What am I supposed to do? Leave my foot on the sensor for you?
Dear Teachers,
You give me impossible homework, I give you impossible handwriting.
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear future students,
If I ever become a teacher, I will seat you based on who would be a cute couple
Dear Chocolate,
Slut.
Dear sisters's boyfriend,,
Please keep in mind before you cheat on her, that I am one of the only people in the world who could kill you and get away with it.
Dear Emma Watson,
I understand why you quit school. I would get angry if every time I answered a question someone yelled, "10 points for Griffindoor!"
Dear artless coxcomb who said Shakespeare had no swag,
Shakespeare practically invented swag, the word comes from swagger, and Shakespeare used it in his 1596 play; a Midsummer Night's Dream. "What hempen homespuns have we swaggering here?" So yes, Shakespeare did in fact have swag and he's had swag since the 1500's.
Dear Mom,
You so sure you wanna know what my boyfriend and I were making? OK, well, it starts with a 'P' and ends with an 'O-R-N'...
Dear "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!",
No, but I do kiss your wife.
Dear moms in Todlers in Tiaras,
I think your on the wrong show...
Dear eight year old with an iPad wearing Uggs and texting.,
Nice to see someone else who refuses to act their age.
Dear people giving me judging stares,
Yes I am 14 with 1 year old twins, I support myself by whoring around on street corners and make all of my purchases at dollar stores and walmart
Dear Grandma,
Please stop calling flip-flops "thongs". I die a little every time you ask for them.
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