Dear Spray-tan girl at the mall,
Did a Cheeto bag blow up on you?
Sincerely, Everyone in the store is wondering
Dear ex-best friend,
I love finding out about your new relationship with my crush via Facebook. It made my day.
Sincerely, I hope he has a tiny penis
Dear Art school that rejected Hitler,
Thanks. A lot.
Dear Starbucks Barista,
I'll have a venti mocha cappuccino upside down double blended extra hot two shots of espresso three pumps of vanilla soy milk heavy cream and a tall water.
Sincerely, just kidding! But you should've seen your face
Dear website insisting that my PC has caught a virus,
Sincerely, using a Mac.
Please keep singing in the shower, you're a hit on Youtube
Dear High School Bully,
You were right. You're STILL taking my lunch money.
Sincerely, I thought I asked for no mayo
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Sincerely, boom roasted!
Dear jerks who say they don't date fat girls,
I may be fat but you're ugly
Sincerely, I can lose weight...you're stuck with that face forever
Dear kids that say my parents must be obsessed with Twilight,
I was named Bella after the psycho killer Death Eater Bellatrix, not some muggle pretending to be a vampire.
Sincerely, wait until I tell Voldy...
No one just smiles while drinking out of their coffee cup.
Sincerely, We know what's really in there.
Dear Ron Weasly,
No, there is not a potion that can cure ginger.
Dear person next to me on the bus,
Sorry, I'm not staring, I'm trying to figure out your life story.
Sincerely, watches too much Sherlock
Dear Girls who have Orange spray tans,
Oompa loompa doopity dooooooooo.....