Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear teacher,
I talk to everyone, so moving my seat doesn't help.
Dear best friend,
Thank you for pretending to be my lesbian lover to piss off my family.
Dear girls who wear make up significantly darker than their actual skin color,
You're not fooling anyone.
Dear Tom Riddle,
You are the only one who can own a diary and still be as manly and threatening as ever.
Dear girls wearing short spandex mini-skirts,
Whoops, I thought this was a school, not a strip club.
Dear foreign exchange student,
Yes, I'm sure you are saying it wrong.
Dear English teacher,
Why are we studying Bob Marley's writing in our "African-American Literature" unit? He's Jamaican.
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Dear old lady Wal-Mart cashier who told me she doesn't approve of teen moms,
Good thing that little girl's my niece then, huh?
Dear people who think honors students do their homework weeks in advance,
We are procrastinators just like you, we just know how to get it done correctly.
Dear hot guy who's jacket I just gave back,
Of course I didn't spray my perfume on it so you would think about me...
Dear high school boy with a 'stache,
I refuse to call that ridiculous thing a mustache.
Dear guys,
Attractive is when you carry my books, walk me to the car, pull out the occasional chair, and say "Maybe" when my dad asks if he should buy a gun.
Dear black kid calling me "vanilla",
Vanilla beans are black...
Dear supposed "virgins till death",
Life screws us all.
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