Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Boo, you whore.
Sincerely, Regina George
Thanks SO much for having your penis out at the zoo today. THAT was fun to explain to the kids I babysit.
Sincerely, "oohhhhh what is that bird doing over there???"
Dear person yelling shotgun,
Sincerely, not getting up
I've been struggling to get my license since 1999. Which makes me at least 29, and still working in a fast food place. And you're still letting your kids watch me?
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Sincerely, It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday...
Dear driver with a "Love Animals Don't Eat Them" bumper sticker,
I do love animals. Especially pigs.
Sincerely, bacon is a gift from heaven.
Dear fellow gays,
Is it weird that I think homophobes are sexy?
Sincerely, They're kinda cute when they're telling me that I'm going to hell
Dear guys everywhere,
No, sir, your balls are not bigger then mine. Mine were so big that they had to be put on my chest to avoid chaffing.
Sincerely, a classy lady.
You know obesity is a problem when the scariest thing is called slender man
Sincerely, Will Ferrell
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Sincerely, how does Casa Blanca sound?
Dear math teacher,
Sorry I couldn't do my math homework. My uncle's sister-in-law's best friend's roomate's insurance agent's gardener's goldfish died.
Sincerely, it was tragic.....
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Sincerely, but everything else was made in china
Dear police officers,
You should yell "PIKACHUUUUU!" before tasing anyone...
Dear nursery rhymer,
Jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, jack fell down and broke his crown....
Sincerely, AND NOW HES LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND