Dear Mother in FredMeyer,
When your toddler ran off in excitement and you ran after him, I was sincerely worried you'd spank him once you caught up with him. You didn't, you simply took his hand and walked back to your cart with him. You restored my faith in today's parents.
Sincerely, The girl who believes strongly in peaceful parenting
Dear pro choicers,
Yes, even if we knew the baby would grow up to be gay, it's still wrong to abort it.
Sincerely, yes, we beleive they're people too
Dear girl at boarding school who woke me up for snoring,
Please understand that people snore due to the way their nose is shaped
Dear men who shave,
Please stop being such little babies about your face and how it burns and makes you sore. You know that your grandad probably used one crazy-kill-you-dead-if-you-mess-up-sharp-ass-blade and never complained?
Sincerely, and I bet you post about "real men" all the time too
Dear English teachers,
Please stop saying that every story has a theme that the author was trying to get at. Seriously, NOBODY writes a book just to prove a theme.
Sincerely, one of your students who's a fellow writer
Dear Kristen Stewart,
Look, I know we made a deal and all, but for once I'M starting to regret having you sign the contract. It was a fair transaction, you trading me all your facial expressions for an acting career, but the world can't take much more of this. I want you to consider giving me your first born child in exchange for getting the facial expressions back.
Sincerely, the devil
Please stop insisting the Beatles weren't ugly. They are outstanding musicians,but none of them were attractive.
Sincerely, You waxing poetic about Paul's "puppy dog eyes" is a bit unsettling.
Actually, yes, your teaching IS getting in the way of my "very important phone call."
Sincerely, leaving the room to talk to my Navy SEAL brother for the first time in a month.
Dear Overwieght Person on the Bus,
Please don't sit on me. Yes, that seat next to me is available, but, no, you will not fit in it.
Sincerely, My Leg is Trapped Under Your Enormous Thigh
Dear Girls who say "All guys are the same!" or "Where have all the good men gone?",
We are not all the same, you would know that if you stopped dating the same types of dirtbags you always go for!
Sincerely, A guy who moved on, met the most amazing girl in the world, and has treated her like a pr
Dear Dudes trying to hit on me,,
If you know who John Eggbert,Ask Ketchum, Nibbles, Bean the Dynamite, Kiku Honda, and Princess Luna are and have an awesome sense of humor then it might happen.
Sincerely, Yeah Im a nerd. No Im not desperate
How does hitler tie his shoes?
Sincerely, with little natzis!
Dear people who make fanfiction/fanart,
Are you EVER satisfied with two men just being close friends?
Sincerely, a creeped out fan of the source material.
If you ridicule Christians for our beliefs and call us close minded, aren't you just as close minded as we supposedly are?
Sincerely, let's see if you are open minded enough to post a view different from your own.
Dear talent show contestants below the age of 7,
You try to convince the world you're cute and all, singing/dancing your little hearts out, but all I see is a another life down the drain of money, fame and greed. Plus, you're far too young to handle the stress of fame, and it's a gruesome shame your parents don't realize that.
Sincerely, annoyed by seeing life's destroyed that young, and annoyed by anyone who calls it cute.