Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear person who just said that "we make a cute couple",
He's my brother.
Dear parents,
Please wait until I leave the house to do your business. The 'going into your room and turning up the TV' trick is getting old.
Dear black people wearing dark clothes and jaywalking at night,
I'm not being racist but...really?!
Dear nerds,
If you guys all put your heads together and find a cure for periods, we will all date you.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Is "back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine" code for "I really liked him, but then I became too famous for him?
Dear Snooki,
You remind me of basketball.
Dear person who told me their friend got knifed,
That's forked up!
Dear customer,
Just because I work here and I am a girl does not mean you can tell me to "make you a sandwich!"
Dear person walking on the sidewalk,
Homeless or hipster?
Dear Bellatrix,
I think you killed the wrong Black.
Dear Mufasa,
You only had one life left? Oh, my bad...
Dear music Industry ,
I can sing love songs, dress myself in meat, and use autotune to make myself sound better.
Dear strange girl,
Please stop writing me all these weird letters. I don't care.
Dear people trying to make a point,
...
Dear boy who just asked me to sit on his lap,
Boy you ain't no Santa Claus, I don't wanna be yo ho ho ho!
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