Dear inventor of tampons ,
Please tell me you're not a guy.
Sincerely, now I'm creeped out!
Could I get an Bin Laden?
Sincerely, two shots and a splash of water.
Dear Virgin Islands,
Yeah, that was your name before I got there. Now you're called The Islands.
Sincerely, Chuck Norris.
Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Sincerely, bored eavesdropper.
I really liked that sweatshirt, but oh, you can just have it. It's not like I spent a lot of money on it or anything. You go on ahead.
Dear PE teacher,
How did I get a C?
Sincerely, varsity athlete.
Dear little sister who rides horses,
I'm more of a "save a horse, ride a cowboy" kind of girl.
Sincerely, your male instructor is very hot!
Dear Selena Gomez,
Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend.
Sincerely, The Killers.
Dear children of today,
You can be anything you want to be!
Sincerely, except an astronaut...
Congratulations on becoming a verb!
You are us with too much makeup on, and you dare call us the ugly ones!
Sincerely, self aware muffin.
Dear little kids,
Please stop looking for Nemo... He's gone.
Sincerely, British Petrolium.
"Please" and "thank you" are not the magic words.
Sincerely, Harry Potter.
If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Sincerely, yeah, I'm dating my lab partner, that's what we want to hear.