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Dear popular girls,
I would say some day you'll be working for me, but I'm not planning on buying Hooters...
Dear welfare recipient,
Please realize that this is for people in need. Not for people too lazy to go to work.
Dear Elsa,
Do you wanna build a snowman or would you rather build one without me and abandon me like the terrible sister that you are?
Dear religious people,
Are you only a good person because you are scared of going to Hell?
Dear Obama,
The book 1984 was made to criticize totalitarian regimes, not an instruction manual.
Dear boyfriend,
Please know that I push you to take a shower after sex so I can finish what you didn't...
Dear those who are grossed out by incest,
If you love someone, you should be with them. I don't see what is wrong with that.
Dear people who get upset at me for driving "too slow",
I'm driving the speed limit and saving you from getting a ticket!
Dear Girl Scouts,
Stop trying to sucker me into buying your over-priced, mediocre cookies!
Dear Cancer,
We know how to beat you, but the humans just toss us out for religious reasons...
Dear feminists,
I want to be one of you but there is no way in hell I'm burning my bra. My boobs are just too big...
Dear popular high school classmates,
I look forward to hiring you in the future!
Dear Fox News,
Please consider marketing your channel as a comedy network since you're such a joke.
Dear Disney lovers,
Mulan was not a princess. Nor was Belle.
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