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Dear JAPAN,
Y U SO GUD @ EVRYTHING Y U SO GUD?
Dear Teachers Family and Friend's Parents,
Please don't make me take off my hood/hat because you think it's "rude" to wear it.
Dear Mother in FredMeyer,
When your toddler ran off in excitement and you ran after him, I was sincerely worried you'd spank him once you caught up with him. You didn't, you simply took his hand and walked back to your cart with him. You restored my faith in today's parents.
Dear Valued Customer,
You know I only asked how your day was to fill the awkward silence right?
Dear Mother,
Please let me come along next time you go underwear shopping. Even when I specifically told you EXACTLY what kind of underwear to buy and that I did NOT care how expensive they were and if they didn't have that kind, don't bother to get any, and especially what kind I didn't like and you came home with the EXACT kind I didn't like that you spent MY money on and then you acted all frustrated when I didn't like them...
Dear girl at boarding school who woke me up for snoring,
Please understand that people snore due to the way their nose is shaped
Dear pro choicers,
Yes, even if we knew the baby would grow up to be gay, it's still wrong to abort it.
Dear teacher,
Actually, yes, your teaching IS getting in the way of my "very important phone call."
Dear Dad,
Please stop insisting the Beatles weren't ugly. They are outstanding musicians,but none of them were attractive.
Dear Kristen Stewart,
Look, I know we made a deal and all, but for once I'M starting to regret having you sign the contract. It was a fair transaction, you trading me all your facial expressions for an acting career, but the world can't take much more of this. I want you to consider giving me your first born child in exchange for getting the facial expressions back.
Dear bicyclists,
You are not a car.
Dear Mario,
I am pretty sure no princess wants to be rescued by a fat plumber with a creepy mustache
Dear Girls who say "All guys are the same!" or "Where have all the good men gone?",
We are not all the same, you would know that if you stopped dating the same types of dirtbags you always go for!
Dear atheists,
If you ridicule Christians for our beliefs and call us close minded, aren't you just as close minded as we supposedly are?
Dear people who make fanfiction/fanart,
Are you EVER satisfied with two men just being close friends?
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