Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear kids in elementary school,
Please go outside and actually DO something! You will have enough time to be addicted to electronics when you are older. Use your imagination or play hide and seek.
Dear people who scream "TAXI!",
"PEDESTRIAN!"
Dear couple holding hands in the hallway,
Red Rover time!
Dear friend who made out with the guy I like,
It's okay. I made out with your brother.
Dear People who say "real vampires don't sparkle,
Really?
Dear Gym members,
Oh yeah, I go to the gym. I run there, and I run back.
Dear vegetarians,
I may be eating Bambi, but you're eating Larry the Cucumber.
Dear adolescent girls,
If you have to take the rubber bands off of your braces before giving a bj, you're too young.
Dear people who say "But women have given birth naturally for thousands of years",
Annndd millions of them died doing it.
Dear girl with overly-ripped jeans,
Did you pick those out or were you mauled by a bear on the way to school?
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Dear college I want to go to,
You better have a Quidditch team.
Dear boy,
Ok then, before we do this, can you buy me maternity pants and help me decide the baby's name?
Dear tough guy that isn't afraid of anything,
Boo!!
Dear comfortable underwear,
Hello again! I haven't seen you in a while, but now that I have no one to impress, you'll do.
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