Dear person who just said that "we make a cute couple",
He's my brother.
Sincerely, you disgust me...
Please wait until I leave the house to do your business. The 'going into your room and turning up the TV' trick is getting old.
Sincerely, your not-so-ignorant child.
Dear black people wearing dark clothes and jaywalking at night,
I'm not being racist but...really?!
Sincerely, I almost accidentally ran you over.
If you guys all put your heads together and find a cure for periods, we will all date you.
Sincerely, all girls.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Is "back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine" code for "I really liked him, but then I became too famous for him?
Sincerely, seeing through your lyrics.
You remind me of basketball.
Sincerely, you're round and orange.
Dear person who told me their friend got knifed,
That's forked up!
Sincerely, too spoon?
Just because I work here and I am a girl does not mean you can tell me to "make you a sandwich!"
Sincerely, subway employee.
Dear person walking on the sidewalk,
Homeless or hipster?
Sincerely, can't tell.
I think you killed the wrong Black.
Sincerely, it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!
You only had one life left? Oh, my bad...
Dear music Industry ,
I can sing love songs, dress myself in meat, and use autotune to make myself sound better.
Sincerely, where do I sign?
Dear strange girl,
Please stop writing me all these weird letters. I don't care.
Dear people trying to make a point,
Sincerely, I just made three. What now?