Dear Marching Band members,
Let's get this straight, we're two different kinds of people. While I don't have the coordination to march in rhythm and play an instrument at the same time, if you had suited up against me and my kind, you would still be eating through a straw.
Sincerely, former football player who at 25 already has arthritis problems
Dear Pastor Against Porn,
Please don't judge porn, or the people in it. They're expressing themselvses, and their sexuality, and earning a living at the same time. I'm sorry you have a problem, but too much of anything is bad for you. A drug addict doesn't get better by blaming the drugs.
Sincerely, Sexual and Enjoys Porn
Dear girl with the highest grades in my class,
Please, like, explain to me , like, how, like, you can, like, get in to, like, the best private school, like, while, like, always talking like this
Sincerely, you make my head hurt with both your smartness and how ditzy you sound by unnecessary over using the
Dear fellow Americains,
When will you wake up and realize The GREAT LIE - That our political system consists of only one party system The Demo-Republican party. It is a single party spilt on social issues but beholding to the only the very wealthy. NADORA Never A Democrat Or Republican Please Vote for anyone else if you want change.
Sincerely, I beginning to think i'm the last free man in America
I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm not asking for your trust. I have earned neither. I wrong you in the worst way possible. I cheated on you mere weeks after you had our second child. I don't even know why I did it; there was never anything wrong in our marriage. All I want to say is thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for making me go to therapy, which I have realized is what I've needed for so long. Thank you for not giving up on me.
Sincerely, a husband undeserving of his wife's love
Dear guy who acts like he's so much better than us because he has a girlfriend,
your girlfriend has 67 protons
Sincerely, she's a Ho
Please understand that i don't belive, so if you could just pleas stop trying to save me, i don't care if you think i'm going to hell because i DON'T belive in hell, that is your belife
Sincerely, all non christians
Dear teens who like to be nostalgic about their childhood,
My childhood wasn't fun, or wonderful. It was fine, but there wasn't anything special about it.
Sincerely, a teenager tired of this fad.
Dear broadcasters of your high grades on Facebook,
Please stop. I'd like to maintain my self-esteem.
Sincerely, an average student
Dear science teacher,
Please realize that it makes it super awkward when you teach us about the human reproductive system.
Sincerely, you're soooo pregnant!
Dear droning professor,
Sure I'll stop passing notes in class, but that doesn't mean I'll start paying attention to you. I understood the material better before you started explaining it.
Sincerely, bored to tears.
Dear US government,
We know you're in bed with the Mexican drug cartels. We know that's why you strive to keep drugs illegal and continue restricting guns/ammo; a bigger black market leads to more profit for you. Leland Lee and Operation Fast and Furious showed us that. But, while you're making money, infringing on our rights, and putting otherwise law-abiding citizens in jail, you're hurting many communities across the US. And that needs to stop.
Dear bitter women,
Please understand that all men aren't the same. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I offered him a 3sum (two girls) for his 28th birthday and he declined saying he only had eyes for me.
Sincerely, happily engaged.
How did you not notice me making hearteyes at you for MONTHS?? You were supposed to be the smartest kid in out year...
Sincerely, Super in love with you but too shy to do anything about it