Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear most teenage guys,
Flies spread disease.
Dear "two wrongs don't make a right",
Two negatives equal a positive...
Dear Cupcakes,
Oh please, you just have makeup on...
Dear media,
By insisting that "unicorns" be slender and white, you're actually giving us body image issues.
Dear Identical Twin Sister,
Maybe you should rethink saying "I'm so ugly" in front of me.
Dear "No talking in class!",
Fine. I know sign language fluently and so does the person I was talking to.
Dear fellow students,
If a teacher catches you asleep, slowly raise your head to the sky and say,"Amen."
Dear homophobes,
Two men kissing means two women available.
Dear Boyfriend,
Please understand that saying you aren't socially retarded is my mom's version of a compliment.
Dear police officer,
No, really I'm not drunk.
Dear guards at Fort Knox,
Do you ever pretend that you're a goblin at Gringotts?
Dear organism and orgasm,
Why must you sound so similar?
Dear ABC,
My "secret life" consists of dancing around my living room singing Hakuna Matata at the top of my lungs.
Dear brother,
Listening to rap music does not make you "gangsta."
Dear boy with exceptional grammar,
Are you free Saturday night?
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