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Dear speeding drivers who tailgate me with their high beams on and think they can crowd me into speeding up,
Please realize you can't force me to drive faster. You're really just going to make me go slower because you're blinding me. Are you really in that much of a hurry that you need to put everyone else on the road in danger?
Dear brother,
Please stop freaking out because there is a spot of blood on the toilet seat. No one is dying, our little sister is just learning how to use tampons. And given the amount of pee you leave on the toilet seat, you have no right to complain about anyone else's mess.
Dear crush,
Please notice the amount of butterflies you put in my stomach when you talk to me
Dear supposed friends,
Please try and realise that life does not revolve around you.
Dear boys who say makeup is false advertising,
I was unaware that my face was for sale.
Dear roommate,
Please stop using PMS as an excuse for your behavior. Every other woman I know is perfectly capable of being a rational human being regardless of where she is in her hormonal cycle. Besides, what's your excuse for being a dick the rest of the month?
Dear School Systems,
Please stop making yourselves so monochromatic and boring. Start teaching cool stuff like how to pay bills or a mortgage. Okay maybe I'm the only one who thinks thats cool
Dear companies,
If you ask your employees to obtain any sort of license or purchase any type of clothing at all so they can be part of your team, you better pay for it (which you never do)
Dear Menopausal coworkers,
I understand that that you're hot and, I do my best to sympathize. That doesn't change the fact that you don't need to make fun of me for being cold.
Dear 'Friendzoned' people,
Please... Just stop. I've had to explain to seven girls now why I'm not mad that they rejected me. Stop blaming people when they aren't attracted to your ugly face.
Dear Other 10K Runners,
Please step to the side of the course before abruptly going from run to walk.
Dear Moderators,
The year is 1692. It's Summer and the sun is just setting. Let's see how long this takes to get through
Dear Parents,
Please stop telling us about all of the problems you have with each other. No, we don't know how you're supposed to fix your marriage, we're not therapists. And yes, you both talk about each other behind your backs. And yes, I know I'm being just as passive about it right now. But please talk to each other instead.
Dear dance partner,
Please brush your teeth in the future before you come to class. Chewing gum isn't really a proper subsitute for hygeine and it's distracting and uncomfortable for your partners when they can smell your breath from a foot away.
Dear guy sitting next to me,
I told you how I felt, and some sort of reaction would be nice
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