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Dear cashier looking judgmental when I buy a tub of ice-cream and a pack of oreos,
"I'm eating for two...".
Dear Male Married Teacher,
When I say that I need to go to the bathroom, that it's an emergency, and I have my pencil-case in my hand, do not tell me to wait 20 minutes until the end of class?
Dear bisexual best friend,
I don't care if you like girls as well as guys, you're my best friend and you always will be.
Dear society,
Please stop referring to the act of downloading stuff illegally as piracy, it's only making me want to do it so I can be called a pirate.
Dear gangsters,
You do know that "swag" is an ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, or greenery, right?
Dear chemistry teacher,
Why is the class amused? I believe it's quite self-explanatory...
Dear US,
If pizza is a vegetable because it has tomatoes in it, that means vodka is a vegetable too.
Dear band teachers,
Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".
Dear pocket,
Please explain why you decided to unlock my phone, dial my crush, and leave him an extremely long message while I was talking about him.
Dear tall people,
Watch out. We bite ankles.
Dear gym teacher,
That tattoo you asked me about on my ankle? Yeah, that was a princess band-aid, but nice try.
Dear Patients,
We only ask you questions because we think it's funny to watch you try to talk with stuff in your mouth.
Dear God,
Thanks for making me sit next to a hot boy on the day the pastor gives us a sex talk.
Dear doctor,
Please don't ask me if i'm sexually active in front of my mom...
Dear guy shopping with your girlfriend,
I saw that look you gave my girlfriend when she started talking about her bedazzled nerf gun.
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