Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear desserts that say to lightly dust with powdered sugar,
Please define "lightly."
Dear men,
Please think with the head that has the brain.
Dear 11 year old cousin,
I seriously just died a little when you asked what VHS is.
Dear person sending me Farmville invites,
I will kill your sheep and make UGGS out of them. Stop.
Dear boyfriend,
I said I have a migraine. Asking me every 30 seconds if I'm okay or if you did something wrong doesn't help the matter. Really.
Dear tampon and pad comercials,
Okay, so, mine's not blue.
Dear boyfriend,
I'm not really scared of spiders, I just feel loved knowing you'd protect me from even the smallest villain.
Dear ten-year-old girl on Facebook,
If he didn't text back within 5 seconds, don't change your relationship status to "Single" and post about how depressed you are.
Dear pot of boiling water,
It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
Dear chemistry teacher,
Please tell your students on the first day that this is potions class. They will pay a lot more attention.
Dear mom who tries to snoop through my phone,
You have to be smarter than the device.
Dear adjectives,
Thank you for taking up space in my essay.
Dear smokers,
If you blow smoke in my face, don't act surprised if I spray Febreeze in yours...
Dear nosy girl asking me when I was born,
On my birthday.
Dear Mary Poppins,
Please return my bag.
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