I decided to start a petition for the right to wear tanktops in schools
Sincerely, because I support my right to bare arms
Dear Bruno Mars,
Okay, it was cute the first few times you sang Just The Way You Are, but this is getting ridiculous. Will you just answer my question? Does this dress make me look fat?
Sincerely, your girlfriend who's getting tired of this
Dear "How would you like to die?",
I want to fall asleep peacefully, like my grandfather did.
Sincerely, not screaming in terror like his passengers...
Please never refer to my flip flops as "thongs" again.
Sincerely, you found my what?!
It's not small, it's fun size...
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
False. Violets are violet by nature, and roses, depending on their genotype, can be a variety of colors.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear teacher buying condoms,
Well this is awkward...
Sincerely, your cashier and student
Dear Last Names,
If you were given to people based on what their jobs were, then where did I come from?
Dear Leonardo DiCaprio,
I know you'll play a good Gatsby, but will you play a Great Gatsby?
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Sincerely, either way we both get pretty high
Dear Channing Tatum,
PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
Sincerely, ...said no one ever.
Remember that night in Vegas 9 months ago? You have a son. His name is square. He has your angles.
What is love? Baby don't herd me.
Sincerely, don't herd me. No more.