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Dear "wearing a padded bra is false advertisement",
Contrary to popular belief, i am not actually for sale.
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Did you ever notice that the books are set in England, yet the wands are measured in inches?
Dear student in the library,
I see that you're running late for class and thought this would be a good time to install 8 new updates. Please do not unplug me or turn me off.
Dear nature photographers,
How is it that you are that close to a bird without it taking off? Or next to a lion without it biting your face off?
Dear parents,
If I tell you I'm bored, please don't say go clean your room.
Dear "I watch enough CSI to know how to make it look like an accident",
Well, I watch enough Sherlock to know how to tell that it WASN'T an accident.
Dear Bert,
I had a great time last night...
Dear person who just tweeted "if u cud recomend a book 4 me wat wud it b?",
It would be a dictionary.
Dear boys,
Objects in shirt may be smaller than they appear.
Dear people who complained about the white Coke cans looking too much like Diet Coke cans,
Please accept our sincerest apologies. Its so much more important that Coca-Cola should cater to your needs instead of donating millions of dollars to help save the polar bears. You're right.
Dear judgmental people,
Why yes, I did just leave the high school parking lot blaring the Pokemon theme song out of my car.
Dear freshman me,
Why didn't you invest time in the nerdy nice boys...
Dear Parents,
When I say that I have no homework what I really mean is that I have no homework that I can't do before class tomorrow.
Dear Mom,
What? Was I not supposed to eat these?
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
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