"Please" and "thank you" are not the magic words.
Sincerely, Harry Potter.
Dear gummy worms,
If I cut you in half, will you grow a new body?
Sincerely, I need more sugar!!!
Dear girls that are afraid of blood,
What do you do during your period?
Try your best and make it through these four years.
Sincerely, a college student.
Whine and scream all I want...?
Sincerely, challenge accepted.
Dear 2nd place,
Sincerely, you're the first loser.
You do realize that we have other names that aren't Raj, right?
Sincerely, Indians everywhere.
Dear U.S. government,
My teacher taught me that "pro" and "con" are opposites. So wouldn't the opposite of progress be...?
Sincerely, is that why nothing is getting done?
Dear Facebook attention suckers,
Please stop making statuses about how ugly you are so other people will try and prove you wrong.
Sincerely, next time, I'm "liking" it.
Dear random person who just asked if I was emo,
I wear mostly black and don't talk much...
Sincerely, I'm a ninja.
Dear Steve Jobs,
You are the apple of our 'i'.
Sincerely, the rest of the World.
Dear Bella Swan,
Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help.
Sincerely, you should be medicated.
Dear middle schools that start with "P",
So your schools initials are PMS? And your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Sincerely, that's just awkward...
Dear sleeping girlfriend,
I was in the middle of breaking up with you when you dozed off.
Sincerely, it was because I felt unappreciated...