Dear football players,
You may make the cheerleaders show up but we decide when they dance.
I'm so glad I can write embarrassing, intimate details of my life and nobody will ever read them.
Sincerely, Anne Frank.
Dear person reading this,
Sincerely, you didn't see the 'banana' did you? ;)
Dear Rubik's Cube,
That was really easy! Oh wait...
Dear anti-gay conservatives,
Homosexuality prevents abortion.
Sincerely, how do you like us now?
Please know when you gave me "the talk" and offered me $5 for every year i'm a virgin you could've atlease offered 10.
Sincerely, $5 is a rip off.
Please use a different catchphrase.
Sincerely, try "Maybe It's Photoshop!"
Dear iTunes ,
Really? $1.29? What's the extra .29 for? Shipping and handling?
Sincerely, a questioning customer.
Dear olive oil,
Sincerely, extra-virgin olive oil.
Dear Stephanie Meyer ,
So you based Twilight off of a dream? "It does not do to dwell on dreams..."
Sincerely, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Dear Taylor Swift,
"He had a one hand feel on the steering wheel, the other on my heart."
Sincerely, so he was touching your boob?
I'm secretly hoping you're actually on fire every time we have a fire drill.
Sincerely, I hate you.
Dear underage partiers,
Do you really think that when you post a picture of you at a party holding a beer can and blur out just the beer can that that suddenly makes a difference? Do you think we are all going "oh theres a little blurred out spot on the picture that just happens to be placed over everyones hand in every picture, well that couldn't possibly be a beer can. Nah, it was probably soda and they just didn't want people to know what kind."
Sincerely, laughing at your pathetic attempts.
Dear optimists, pessimists and realists,
The glass is actually 51.1256 % filled.