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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear America,
Seriously, what is Ramen?
Dear Slow Robot,
Please ban pictures of spiders from the site
Dear best friend!,
Please forgive me about your black eye! I told you don't sneak up on me!
Dear Clark Gable,
Do you have a son? Age twenty something, maybe?
Dear people who ask me when I'm going to real college,
Please tell me, since when is community college fake?
Dear professor,
If it's not an online course, please do not put 100% of the material online.
Dear dads friends,
Please realize you give me the best stories to tell my friends.
Dear guy who stands up for me when other guys call me 'fag',
Please don't turn around and start labeling everything you see 'gay'
Dear Teachers and Students,
Please speak louder? To me I'm yelling.
Dear coworker,
You know what the best way to pass a drug test is? Don't do drugs.
Dear parents against vaccines,
Homeschool your kids if you don't want them catching a cold from us. I also don't want the flu from them since they didn't get a vaccine.
Dear transgendered female patient:,
Please stop swearing at me and threatening to report me to the Board of Medicine. You don't have a vagina or uterus, so I can't actually do a pelvic exam. And I'm an OB-Gyn: I don't do prostate exams. I also can't prescribe you birth control - because it wouldn't work
Dear me,
Stop day dreaming and get back to work.
Dear Employer,
Please understand, I'm not taking days off sick even thought that's what I tell you. I'm taking days off to go for job interviews so I can get the hell out of your terribly run, horrendously understaffed and all round shitty company.
Dear World,
We need some good news! I just got engaged!
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