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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Roommate,
Please leave the room every once in a while.
Dear native speakers,
Please know that there is something very wrong if my English is better than yours.
Dear thin girls,
Please refrain from talking about how fat you are in front of obviously uncomfortable plus size girls. We recognize that you have insecurities too, and we do understand that you do not love your body. However, it feels so shitty to be told, by proxy, that you're a whale.
Dear daughter who hates every food that I cook,
Cook your own food. Here's money for groceries.
Dear Family Friend,
I understand the pain your in. I really do. But please be glad that there is a treatment.
Dear idealists,
Please stop asking Disney to make a movie with a so-and-so princess. They're there to make money, not social statements.
Dear friends,
When I ask "How are you?" or "How've you been?" and you respond with good, then ask the same of me, don't be shocked when I say evil.
Dear people who hate on religious views beliefs and people in general,
Please don't call us religious people racists or bigots or ignorant just because our views and beliefs are different than yours.
Dear person who said I didn't deserve that scholarship,
Please take a look at my application. Yes, that does say 4.7 GPA, 210 volunteering hours, three sports, band, and a four job five days a week. Wait, you have a 2.6 GPA, no volunteering hours or job, and no other activities.
Dear family,
If you're not going to tell me when the food is ready, don't come to my room at 9 pm and ask me why I haven't eaten yet.
Dear America,
Please stop saying that you have OCD, things just look nice when they are neat. There is nothing deep about it, organization is just more appealing.
Dear white students who want to go to Ivy Leagues,
You're not the only ones who suffer from affirmative action. We have it worse than you.
Dear Wannabe ParselTongue Speaker,
Snakes are deaf.
Dear College Board,
Are you lowering your standards? How did I pass the AP Environmental Science exam when I wrote a joke instead of one of the essays? How did I pass the English Composition one when I didn't even understand the second prompt?
Dear future soul mate,
i wont care what you look like, how much you make, what your home life is. if you make me happy that is all that matters. and if you propose to me get me a ring pop. i dont want expensive jewelry because money will not define our feelings.
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