Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear yoga instructor,
Yes, I see you doing it. No, I still believe it is physically impossible. I heard you say magic words before doing it, I know you're a wizard.
Dear anyone whose interested,
If you say "beer can" with a British accent, you're saying "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear reader,
What do you call a cautious redhead?
Dear police officers,
You should yell "PIKACHUUUUU!" before tasing anyone...
Dear girl in my English class,
"I always thought the right to bare arms was the right to wear t-shirts
Dear opportunist that drank the half empty glass of "water",
We never said it was water
Dear silent classroom,
LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.
Dear alarm clocks makers,
Please make alarm clocks that, when you hit the snooze button, hit you back.
Dear men,
Please. Trojan extra-large condoms are made to fit most regular sized men to boost their confidence and ensure further purchased.
Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Dear friend whom I don't know very well,
Please forgive me for being awkward around you. You didn't do anything wrong...
Dear people who are wondering,
In Hell, there is spotty WiFi and there is one tab open making noise but your mouse is frozen.
Dear boyfriend,
Please don't ever tell me it's good for my face.
Dear Chemists,
Please stop discussing our attraction to one another. It's embarrasing.
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