Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear world,
Did you know it's impossible to say "good eye might" without sounding Australian?
Dear Twitter,
Thanksforteachingmetoreadwithoutspaces.
Dear obnoxious guy,
Asking if I stole the thunder and put it in my thighs is not a pick up line.
Dear optimists, pessimists and realists,
The glass is actually 51.1256 % filled.
Dear people losing sleep,
Tired? There's a nap for that.
Dear couple making out in front of my locker,
WHOA, THERE! Um, yeah... You need to go find somewhere else to do that...
Dear tampon companies,
Is it really necessary to have the warning "Always remove the last tampon at the end of your period" printed on the box?
Dear Europe,
Please refrain from giving such small coutries such big names.
Dear "money can't by you happiness",
That may be true, but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini.
Dear person,
Let's flip a coin. Heads I win, tails you lose.
Dear William and Kate,
If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, will your son be the Half-Blood Prince?
Dear Santa,
I'll save you some time in making your list. I plan on being very bad this year.
Dear Jersey Shore cast,
The only thing real about your "reality show" is the STDs.
Dear homophobes,
If all gay people go to hell, it's got to be FABULOUS!
Dear "I get 10 times more girls than you",
10 x 0 = 0.
THIS IS PAGE 4
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