Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Mulan,
Thanks for being a girl. I thought I was gay for a while there...
Dear "I wasn't that drunk",
Dude, you were asking my cat why he killed Mufasa.
Dear Ron,
Bloody hell? Yeah about once a month.
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son
Dear God,
Please look in the mirror.
Dear world,
No no no, guys...I said I hate FIGS!
Dear Mary Poppins,
We have been informed that you have used magic is front of muggles. Your trail is set for next Friday at eight.
Dear Trojan Vibrator Commercial,
Thanks for making it just a tad bit awkward as I was watching TV with my parents.
Dear Mario,
Please come and pick Peach up. She is way too high maintenance.
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
Dear football teams,
Thank you for being our opening and closing acts.
Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Dear robber,
Please note that the door you just kicked in was locked for your protection, not mine.
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