Please do not EVER make a racist dick joke to me again. I'm a 28-year-old married woman who teaches Sunday school and sings on the worship team. I am not your wife. (Who is a nice lady, by the way!)
Sincerely, Your horrified church member
Please stop piling on a million assignments. It's not our fault you suddenly realized the end of the semester is near.
Sincerely, Students (we can't handle this)
Dear Professor who said my editing was "not fitting my intelligence" and "amazingly lazy",
Please remember academic accommodations told you I'm SEVERELY dyslexic and that intelligence and being able to spot when auto-correct chose the wrong homophone are two different things.
Sincerely, This message took me 50 minutes
Please realize that I, a gay Muslim, exist. Stop pretending like those are mutually exclusive identities, and allow us to grieve in peace.
Sincerely, Crying all day
Dear Mr. Trump,
It is possible to kill two birds with one stone. Please take that mutated beaver pelt off your head and insert it firmly in your mouth.
Please stop assuming something is right just because it's what's always been done or it supports your belief. If it's proven wrong, it's okay to change your opinion.
Sincerely, if it's wrong, move on
Please share your thoughts about Mormon Missionaries. Good or bad? Annoyance or motivation? etc...
Sincerely, a former mormon missionary
Please stop asking for advice and then completely ignoring it and shoving it under the rug. It's quite annoying. Should I stop giving it?
Sincerely, a friend who cares.
I'm anemic. I'm fairly clumsy. I have a high pain tolerance and a physically active job. So, no, I do not think it's strange that I cannot explain where every single bruise came from. If you really want to help me, quit belaboring the "are you SUUUURE you feel safe at home?" question and work to fix the anemia.
Dear Lovely person reading,
Please You're not ugly, you're the opposite.. If I could hug you and tell you tomorrow would be ok, I would because I'd be there for you..
Sincerely, a caring person
Dear SJW's GSA and LGTB,
I'm trying to be an ally, don't discriminate against me because I'm a white male who happens to be cis and identifies as straight.
Sincerely, the loving boyfriend of a beautiful pre-op trans girl.
Dear Mr. Alarm Clock,
I understand that you do not enjoy the relationship Bed & I have, but if you really are bothered by it, maybe you should find a morning person who would appreciate your attention. It's not you, it's me. I can't stop loving Bed.
Please stop getting mad at me for not being able to watch a show about sex crimes anymore.
Sincerely, I know that you think what happened to me is a joke.
Dear person who run into things while on her phone,
I don't care if your friend calls you from Germany or Uganda, just stay still on the side so I can walk past you instead of zigzagging all over the place.
Sincerely, the person behind you slowly going crazy.