I believe one can get very far with very little if one keeps one's priorities straight.
Sincerely, working my way up.
Dear Creepy man getting out of his car,
Please stop staring at me like you're going to break into my car and kidnap me.
Sincerely, already locked the doors.
I'm not racist, but cinnamon muffins are just fan-freaking-tastic.
Sincerely, told you I wasn't racist.
Dear westerners who cannot bear the seemingly prolonged winter,
Want to exchange?
Sincerely, suffering in the Indian heat
Dear female customer,
No, I don't think you are weak. I offer to help every customer get their supplies to their car, it is one of my jobs as a greeter. But if you want to be a bitch about it, then I just sit here and smile as you drop your bags of gravel on your feet.
Sincerely, that "pimply sexist asshole"
Dear People who say 'High School isn't that bad',
I don't know what planet you guys live on, but it's pretty shit down here. I'm happy that you guys survived but a little support for those who aren't as lucky would be great.
Sincerely, Depressed Student
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, the Titanic
Dear "God has a plan for you",
Does his plan involve me being broke and homeless? Because that's where this is going without divine intervention.
Sincerely, a desperate, jobless student wanting words of COMFORT
The other day, during a discussion a friend asked me "Why does a person born a male identify as a woman?" He genuinely doesn't understand and I don't know how to explain it to him.
Sincerely, Please help.
Dear PB and J,
Wanna have a threesome?
Dear "big boobs don't count if you're fat",
Big dicks don't count if you are one.
Dear Kindle haters,
Please don't tell me how much better books are than eReaders: I know. I recieved my Kindle as a gift, and it is simply cheaper and more convient to read and buy books. If I had endless amounts of money and the ability to go to the bookstore and buy books I would. It dosn't mean I am not a true literature lover or that I don't ever read "true" books, nor does it mean you are better than me because you do.
Sincerely, stop with the criticizing, thanks
Dear Math Textbooks,
Stop trying so hard to be multicultural. Every problem does not have to be about "Mohammed, Jose, and JaQuonn". We promise we wont be offended if you use Bob Joe and Steve instead.
Sincerely, minorities everywhere
Please don't run across the road like some sort of daredevil
Sincerely, I"m so, so sorry that I hit you with my car and I feel like a bunny murderer :(