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Dear Graphic Designers,
Y U No Understand Us?
Dear Schrödinger,
Your hypothesis about the cat in the box being both alive and dead, until you check on it, makes about as much sense as this DBPB being in Spanish whenever you're not looking.
Dear Private Schools,
Please Why do you make me write essays to get into your school?
Dear people,
I was wrong. I was wrong about racism in America. I know that now, and I'm ready to make a change. I just wanted you to know that I've learned so much, and there IS hope.
Dear cleaning lady,
Please put stuff back where you find it, clean thoroughly, and put the cleaning supplies away when you're done.
Dear Fred,
Remember that time we tried to put our names in the Goblet of Fire? I wish that wasn't the only time that we'd see each other old.
Dear Colleges,
Please make a scholarship for a middle class white girl who hasn't done drugs or gotten knocked up but still happens to want an affordable college education
Dear Boys,
Please realize that just because I am an attractive girl in a skirt at a club with friends does not mean I want to sleep with you.
Dear world,
Why is it that when men tell women about women's experiences, it's "mansplaining," but when women tell men about men's experiences, it's "discussing male privilege?"
Dear people who slut-shame,
Sex is fun. Get over yourselves.
Dear world,
Does anyone else get extremely pissed off at people who make "mmMMMm" noises every time they eat? It's just food, calm down.
Dear daughter who hates every food that I cook,
Cook your own food. Here's money for groceries.
Dear women who complain that men are "oppressing" you by sitting with their legs open on public transportation,
They are trying not to squish their genitalia because it hurts and will close/move their legs without complaint if you ask them too. Women are just as bad when they put their purses/bags on the seat next to them and usually get an attitude when you ask them to move them, but you don't see men complaining about women "oppressing" them by taking up too much room.
Dear YouTube,
How many times must we tell you? We can handle ads on our videos, even pre-rolls, even another musician plastered around our video. But why do you insist on playing a Katy Perry song as an ad? You assume everybody wants to hear it and will want to buy it, but we don't. I hate modern top 40 music and I go to YouTube to get away from it by listening to the music I want to listen to. Just play a music-neutral ad and we can all be happy.
Dear anti-gun extremists,
So you don't want any more innocent children killed, but you think the NRA members' children should be shot so they'll know how the school shooting victims' families felt. Not only are you hypocritical, you’re despicable.
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