Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear ex-boyfriend,
I bet you feel really stupid for dumping me now.
Dear John Milton,
So, you wrote Paradise Lost. Then your wife died, and you wrote Paradise Regained.
Dear Hitler,
Please give me back my mustache. You're making me look bad.
Dear web MD symptom checker,
"Abdomen pain made worse by swallowing chemicals or poison?"
Dear Twilight,
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Dear Kristen Stewart,
I can't read your poker face.
Dear person who can't stop sneezing,
BLESS YOU ALREADY!
Dear identical twin,
Your argument is invalid
Dear bespectacled dark-haired friend and ginger friend,
Just finished reading Harry Potter series. On a completely unrelated note, I also figured out why we get all those weird stares when we hang out together...
Dear natural resources,
Om nom nom!
Dear tounge,
No you were right, taste buds are so over-rated.
Dear humans,
How can you sweat like us when we don't sweat?
Dear Americans,
Isn't it amazing what we can do when the PlayStation network is down?
Dear Charles Dickens,
It was the best of moods. It was the worst of moods.
Dear Obama,
I'm not sure we can fix it...
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