Dear I love you like Snape loves Lily,
I love you like Lily loves Snape.
It's illegal for a man to kiss his wife while she's sleeping?
Sincerely, hope that's not where Sleeping Beauty took place...
Nice going, putting the "Junior Clothing", "Intimate Apparel" and the "Baby Essentials" sections all in a row....
Sincerely, I see what you did there....
Dear young girls walking in a row at the mall looking down at their phones,
Sincerely, yes, I could have warned you sooner but I enjoyed watching you walk into that bench.
Dear Jersey Shore,
If I wanted to watch talking carrots I would've watched Veggie Tales.
Dear Crying Girl,
What's wrong? Heartbreak? Rejection? Cheating boyfriend? Wishing you could go back to December?
Sincerely, there's a Taylor Swift song for that
Dear high schoolers,
You know how you hate those annoying twelve-yr-olds trying to be cool? That's how we feel about you.
Sincerely, College Kids
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
Dear people who say "I've watched enough episodes of CSI to kill you and get away with it",
And I've watched enough episodes of Law and Order to make sure you don't,
I'm not single.
Sincerely, I'm dating a ninja
Please tell me how when we were both locked out you were still able to get back in the house.
Sincerely, we don't even have a cat door
I assure you, no one's cell phone is actually ringing. It's simply on the TV.
Dear boy who just told me that if I was in a detective movie that I would be killed first because "they always kill the pretty girls",
I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or terrified.