Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear parents everywhere,
You'd better tell your kids about puberty and sex before I explain it to them in HD.
Dear boy who thinks I have commitment issues,
I don't.
Dear Jack the Ripper,
We all have the same middle name!
Dear roommate,
Your face was priceless!
Dear Kim Kardashian,
Your father is famous, and you became famous with a sex tape. How original.
Dear boys,
We don't want to see your underwear as much as you want to see ours.
Dear blowpops,
I liked you better when i was innocent...
Dear fans,
If Kayne managed to steal the mic, is Taylor really swift?
Dear people wearing the pants extremely low,
You do realize that sagging trend was started in prison, and it symbolized that they were willing to have gay sex with the other inmates, right?
Dear Selena and Justin,
She was a punk, he did ballet, what more can i say?
Dear new baby,
If I speak to you in fake English, and your dad speaks to you with an American accent, which one are you going to use when you start talking?
Dear 5 second rule,
Don't be such a wimp!
Dear shark week,
Why did you have to broadcast right before my vacation to Hawaii?
Dear horrified sister,
Why are you looking at my browser history?
Dear tailgater behind me,
Let's test this: if I can't see your head lights, can you see my tail lights?
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