If you're reading this, you've been in a coma for almost 20 years. We're trying a new technique. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope we're getting through. Please wake up.
Sincerely, The scientists in year 2035
Dear people everywhere,
Please remember science is real and the truth whether you believe it or not
Sincerely, just accept it
So let me get this straight, you went from Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Lion King and Tarzan, to..... High School Musical, Hannah Montana and Camp Rock?
Sincerely, WTF happened?!
Dear medical students who complain about studying all the time on Facebook,
Do you want a cookie for your efforts? Perhaps saving a person's life will be a great reward. You are in med school, studying is expected. Get over it.
Sincerely, A Frustrated and Successful Future Doctor
I'm glad you enjoy a healthy, active sex life but do you (the woman) always have to scream in that high-pitched voice? You sound almost like a cat.
Sincerely, A deeper voice would be sexier even if annoying
It actually breaks my heart to know that some of you will not befriend certain ladies simply because you feel that they look better than you do. It amazes - but not surprises - me that looks are a threat to many women. It's actually refreshing to see that guys don't typically carry this same mentality.
Sincerely, We need to love each other better
Dear those who are confused,
Contrary to popular belief, being antisocial has nothing to do with not having many friends, being shy or not attending social events. In psychology, antisocial behaviors are defined by a person's lack of empathy for others. They may seem charming at first but can also be very self-centered. For example, serial rapists/killers, people who are physically and verbally abusive, and even abuse toward animals are truly considered antisocial.
Sincerely, educated individual
Dear EXTREMELY oversensitive female,
Please understand: the facts that Jesus (presumably) had a penis, and you (presumably) do not, have NOTHING to do with your salvation. God is not misogynist; if He was, He would not have created humans, male AND FEMALE, in His image. Nor would the New Testament say that in Christ there is no longer Jew nor Gentile, nor slave nor free, nor MALE OR FEMALE, for YOU ARE ALL ONE. This church is not misogynist either; if it was, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have a FEMALE priest. The occasional use of "mankind" in a song to refer to ALL of humanity is not a personal slight against you; it is a commonly accepted generic term used at the composer's discretion. We cannot rewrite every piece of music because you don't like a pronoun here or there. Just PLEASE take a chill pill already.
Sincerely, EXTREMELY stressed out (female!) music leader
If you have a problem with who I am, take it up with the manufacturers. I operate on factory settings, bitch.
Sincerely, your daughter who tries her best
Dear people promoting equal rights,
You can't pick and choose which areas you want equality in. If a white person can't make jokes about black people, a black person can't make jokes about white people. If men have to sign up for the draft, women do too. If straight people can't stereotype gay people, then gay people can't stereotype straight people.
Sincerely, remember "treat others the way you want to be treated?"
Dear people who think 'nerd' is an insult,
Why thank you. I'm proud to be a nerd.
Sincerely, now, if you'll excuse me, I have an actual future to attend to
Dear Taylor Swift,
Romeo and Juliet had nothing to do with the Scarlet Letter.
Sincerely, Hawthorne and Shakespeare are rolling over in their graves right now
Dear Bill Belichick,
Nobody believes you. Stop cheating!
Sincerely, NFL fans everywhere!
I'm going to kill you!