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Dear bird outside my window,
Please shut the fuck up. It is 2 in the goddamn morning, and some of us, like me perhaps, are trying to sleep. I get it, you are going against the grain and be a fucking nocturnal bird instead of a normal sweet diurnal bird, but you need to shut the hell up. I do not know what kind of bird cocain or bird amphetamines you are on to stay awake all night but not all of us have access to bird drug dealers and so we do not have the energy that you seem to have. If you refuse to shut up, then I shall make it my mission that every time I see you sleeping in that tiny little nest in the tree outside my window I will scream at you and wake your fat feathery ass up so you will understand what it feels like to have some annoying bitch squawking at you when you are trying to sleep. That is all.
Dear world,
1 in 5 American's still believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth.
Dear facebook,
I do not wish to be notified when someone I know likes / comments on two people I do not know get engaged/married etc...
Dear future self,
I just spent hours cleaning this room for you. I'm sweaty, dusty, exhausted, and tired of living like a pig. Try not to screw it up this time, okay?
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