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Dear Google,
I Binged your girlfriend.
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Dear Guy complementing me,
Oh, my chest looks nice in this shirt? Well, your dick looks look nice in those jeans.
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
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