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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people of Ferguson,
Please know your efforts to deflate racial tention in America is starting to become counter productive.
Dear Disney,
With all the stories you have done on evil stepmothers, how the HELL did you leave out mine?
Dear McDonald's customers,
If you come through my drive-through and you have an order that's $20 or more, and you give me handfulls upon handfulls of small change, please know that every employee is talking about how much they hate you and we are probably spitting in your food as you're giggling to yourself about us having to count it.
Dear College math teacher,
Understand that I've learned all the things that you've taught back in ninth grade. so dont freak out at me for simply trying to catch up on my other work in your class
Dear people who pay for soldiers' meals at restaurants,
Why is it that you only do it when the restaurant is really crowded and busy?
Dear streaker at my high school graduation,
Thanks for pissing a lot of people off and more importantly scarring little children because of the sight. Why don't you grow up and think about others before you make stupid decisions?
Dear people who think being a blonde white American girl automatically makes me racist,
that explains my black parents, Japanese best friend, and Guatemalan boyfriend, huh?
Dear Christmas,
Someday, everyone will forget about you too.
Dear strangers,
Please don't touch my kid. I know she's cute, but it's flu season and she's allergic to the shot.
Dear Roommate,
Kindly respect that I do not acknowledge Christmas before Thanksgiving.
Dear Daniel Radcliffe,
When you got the part of Harry Potter did they tell you that you were the chosen one??
Dear body,
When I'm sick, I can only do one thing at a time. I can either have a blocked nose, or breathe, not both. I can either sleep, or writhe in pain, not both. Get it?
Dear "Friends",,
Please stop calling me a loser for deciding to save myself until marriage.
Dear alarm clock,
Every single weekday, you are way too quiet and I sleep through you, relying on other alarms to wake me up. Yet you happen to be loud enough on Saturday to wake me up at 6:30?
Dear Parents,
No don't worry about it. I love getting yelled at the moment I get home about something that happened while I was at work.
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