Dear Harper Lee,
Oh, you wrote TWO books now? Call me when you've written over 50.
Sincerely, Stephen King
Dear "Best friend",
I told you about my depression, but you constntly talk about how people like Robin Williams had "nothing to be sad about." So I never brought it up again. Yet any time we talk about what we're having for lunch you never fail to remind me you are gluten-free and expect me to feel sorry for you and APOLOGIZE for the fact I can eat an oreo cookie. I don't want sympathy, I want you to stop trying to make me feel like your problem is worse than mine even though the two can't be compared.
Sincerely, I tried cutting for the first time because of you.
Dear Justin Bieber,
Sincerely, Sick of you
Dear Palo Alto parents,
Please get your shit together. There's a reason that your city is known for high school students' suicides. That guards have to be stationed in front of railway crossings. That five kids killed themselves in the same year. That a SOPHOMORE was the latest victim. And while I understand that many of you are supportive, it's no coincidence that it all happens in one city. Your child doesn't have to be the top mathlete, or the best player on their sports team, or take all APs.
Sincerely, just understand that being average is okay.
Dear okay-looking guy in my college class,
Please stop answering biology questions so confidently in a room filled with mostly idiots.
Sincerely, you're getting more attractive by the second, and I'm about to go Sheldon Cooper on your ass.