Dear little sister who rides horses,
I'm more of a "save a horse, ride a cowboy" kind of girl.
Sincerely, your male instructor is very hot!
If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Sincerely, yeah, I'm dating my lab partner, that's what we want to hear.
Dear person in movie who is being chased by a rolling boulder.,
Don't run in front of it! Just run to the side! It won't kill you if you're not in from of it!
Sincerely, oh look, you're dead. Should've taken my advice.
I know you want me. You want to suck me, and blow me, and feel my delicious liquid go into your mouth. I'm ready.
Sincerely, a straw.