Dear Overly Affectionate Downstairs Neighbour,
Seriously? Are you not finished yet? Give your lady parts a break.
Sincerely, I'm tired of hearing you every night.
Dear people at my school who think they're "ghetto" and our town is "ghetto" also,
Please realize that if you really lived in a ghetto you couldn't afford the iPhone that your parents bought you.
Sincerely, girl who wants you to stop acting ignorant.
Dear boy talking about Jimi Hendrix,
Please know that the fact that you like the same music as me makes you 100 times more attractive
Sincerely, the girl who loves classic rock
Dear people who say "suck my dick" when they're mad,
Why would you want someone you hate to suck your dick?
Sincerely, it never made sense to me