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Dear teacher,
Please understand that I don't call you "Professor" to show respect. I do it because it makes me feel like Harry Potter.
Dear Powell Middle School,
So do your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Dear McDonalds,
Are you seriously asking if I have any job experience?
Dear guys at the beach,
Just because you're wearing shiny sunglasses doesn't mean I can't tell where your face is pointed.
Dear crush,
No, I'm not Facebook stalking you. I'm doing character research in case I get to make a movie of my life and you're are in it.
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