Dear pro-gun Americans,
Please realize that yes, guns "got" us America but they won America by murdering the people that lived here before us (with your precious guns).
Sincerely, Yeah guns being used to commit genocide is great
Dear Gun Toting Americans,
Please realise that everyone else is sick of you acting shocked every time there's a mass shooting.
Sincerely, countries who don't think citizens need assault rifles
Dear Self Defence Instructor,
No matter how much peril I am in, I am not going to "grab and rip" someone's groin.
Sincerely, no. Just no.
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like homosexual people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
Sincerely, A "heterophobic" gay
The fact that you made me make you a tea with not only whipped cream but marshmallows as well makes me feel both queasy and sad.
Sincerely, saying 'It's my version of a cappuccino' just makes it worse
Roses are cool, violets are sub par, I know you don't love me......
Sincerely, so I'll stalk you from afar...
Dear my job isn't as important as nurses or doctors,
I'm a hospital administrator, I run the hospital....
Sincerely, Determining whether or not you keep your job
Dear people who freak out when books are even dog-eared,
Please, cut it out with the dirty looks. When I read a non-special edition book, it goes to work with me, to the bathroom, even when I eat or make breakfast. It gets thrown in the front seat of the car and shoved into an overfilled backpack. There's toothpaste stains where I've brushed my teeth as I read, nail polish stains, even tears.
Sincerely, it's a book. It's meant to be well-read and well-loved.
Dear Teacher who threaten female student of becoming housewives,
I find it hilarious.
Sincerely, your best student who wants to be a wife.
Dear so called 'sluts',
Congratulations on your self belief. Don't let anyone degrade you.
Sincerely, decent people everywhere
Your Grandmother is a blast-ended skank.
Sincerely, I mean every word I ever say because I'm Harry Potter
Dear People Who Don't Mind Hearing A Bad Joke,
Just think that Jack and Rose fell in love with each other on the Titanic. Let that sink in.
Sincerely, BA DUM, TSS
Dear Angry People,
Please note that you cannot 'steal' someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. Not unless you think people are property.
Sincerely, save most of your anger for the cheaters.
Why don't your students learn Latin?
Sincerely, More use than Divination