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Dear people practicing abstinence,
Have fun with that
Dear world,
Why do we cry about animals getting abused, and not HUMAN BABIES BEING MURDERED!?!?!?!
Dear Alex,
How did you not notice me making hearteyes at you for MONTHS?? You were supposed to be the smartest kid in out year...
Dear teens who like to be nostalgic about their childhood,
My childhood wasn't fun, or wonderful. It was fine, but there wasn't anything special about it.
Dear NFL,
I know wearing pink in October is a way to market to your female fans and look pro-woman, but would it kill you to have a blue November for testicular cancer, something that can actually affect not only your male fan base, but also your players?
Dear Cinderella,
Please understand that employing rats to make clothing is frowned upon in all kingdoms.
Dear boyfriend,
Please realize that you don't even understand the meaning of "hard".
Dear Teachers,
Please stop yelling at us for using our phones when you can't go a single period without checking yours.
Dear Residents,
Please stop locking yourselves out of your rooms. Your adults bring your key with you!
Dear mom,
Yes i am talking back to you, that's how a conversation works.
Dear family,
Please stop thinking I'm evil when I suggest that a socialist economy could do America some good. I don't want us to go into debt because of an infected papercut.
Dear stomach,
Could you find another way to tell me eating pop tarts and donuts and drinking slurpees and sodas is a bad idea?
Dear math teacher,
I will NEVER use proofs after high school.
Dear Friend with benefits,
Please make up your mind about what we are.
Dear "how did cave women deal with your periods",
Please same way you do
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