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Dear those who want to raise the minimum wage,
If you want higher pay, get a better job!
Dear cheerleaders,
Jumping around half-naked with pom poms is not a sport!
Dear people who pray before meals,
Please stop praying to God to make your double-decker cheeseburger, large coke, and fries nourish your body. That's not how it works...
Dear girls,
Please stop complaining about your periods. Would you rather be pregnant?
Dear those who are grossed out by incest,
If you love someone, you should be with them. I don't see what is wrong with that.
Dear girlfriends,
If you don't want us watching porn, have sex with us.
Dear boyfriend,
Please know that I push you to take a shower after sex so I can finish what you didn't...
Dear people who get upset at me for driving "too slow",
I'm driving the speed limit and saving you from getting a ticket!
Dear teachers,
We are giving you apples for a reason. It worked with Snow White...
Dear Taylor Swift,
Boys don't seem to be working out for you. Maybe you should test out girls?
Dear dog owners,
Having your dog wear a leash is not a suggestion, it's the law no matter how "well trained" your dog is!
Dear KFC commercial executives,
Please stop featuring only African American people in your commercials. We do eat other things besides fried chicken...
Dear sleeping dog,
RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF!!!!!
Dear "DearBlankPleaseBlank",
I blame you for my failing grades.
Dear fellow teens,
Know that in twenty years from now it won't matter what clothes you wore, what sports you played or how many people had a crush on you. What matters will be your kindness, intelligence and hard-work.
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