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Dear bird outside my window,
Please shut the fuck up. It is 2 in the goddamn morning, and some of us, like me perhaps, are trying to sleep. I get it, you are going against the grain and be a fucking nocturnal bird instead of a normal sweet diurnal bird, but you need to shut the hell up. I do not know what kind of bird cocain or bird amphetamines you are on to stay awake all night but not all of us have access to bird drug dealers and so we do not have the energy that you seem to have. If you refuse to shut up, then I shall make it my mission that every time I see you sleeping in that tiny little nest in the tree outside my window I will scream at you and wake your fat feathery ass up so you will understand what it feels like to have some annoying bitch squawking at you when you are trying to sleep. That is all.
Dear boyfriend,
Please stop trying to convince me to go against what my mother taught me.
Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Dear Airport Security,
How is this gonna work??
Dear record labels/recording artists,
If you have objectionable language in a song, please make sure you offer an uncensored version. I'm sick of finding versions that have _________ gaps in the music that ________ sound terrible.
Dear people slamming Selena Gomez,
Please remember that last month Christina Grimmie, a dear friend of hers, was murdered by a hateful, psychotic person. OF COURSE she's going to defend Taylor from hatred, regardless of whether Taylor's innocent or not.
Dear The World,
Please answer an important question. Is it wrong to hate a certain race?
Dear USB,
Are you the backup plan for when the USA fails?
Dear Guy I Am Dating,
Please be gentle with me because I like you a lot, and you have the potential to hurt me more than anyone else before you.
Dear Guy complementing me,
Oh, my chest looks nice in this shirt? Well, your dick looks look nice in those jeans.
Dear Google,
I Binged your girlfriend.
Dear people of the internet,
I really need a hug. I'd turn to my family, but they/we're not the physical or emotional sort of people, and it is just downright pathetic to have to ask... not to mentioned it will be rather half-hearted from their side. But life isn't very good right now and I need a hug bad. And a cookie.
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear Dad,
Please note this first that I love you. I can't even explain how much do I! But, it seems like you have never understood that. You have never been a dad like other dads. You could only be a living money machine, so much inexpressive & just a instructor in the family, However, your acts sometimes have proven that you love me, you loved us so much & then later, you seemed somebody very unknown. Dad, I can even count & say how many time I have called you dad in a year. Sometimes, I become very depressed because of all these, I act very heartless & stay in my own world. Because I realize, I love the idea of a persons being dad, I love the dreams I have with you but, I don't love you. Dad, I am disappointed with life, especially you now.
Dear people who think LGBT people are always tolerant,
Sadly, they aren't. When I was a teenager I questioned my sexuality and thought I was a lesbian before realising I wasn't. Since then, I've met some LGBT people who think I'm a lesbian but pretending to be straight, and they won't listen when I try to tell them I'm not, and some of the most misogynistic people I've ever met are gay men. But most of the straight people I've met think that every LGBT person ever is perfect and tolerant of everyone, and saying otherwise is "homophobic".
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