Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear lonely girls,
Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, you just don't have any bait.
Dear world,
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
Dear cake in the fridge labled "Do not eat me!",
Don't tell me what to do!
Dear stepdad,
Really? I'm 15, you're 38. You want to argue about technology with me?
Dear girl on the mat stretching in front of me,
Thank you for turning me into a marathon runner.
Dear companies who fire their employees for things posted on their Facebook pages,
Stop creepin'!
Dear person asking what time it is by pointing to their wrist,
Is it that hard to open your mouth and ask what time it is?
Dear college girls,
Seriously, stop doing it for attention. You're giving us all a bad name.
Dear student that finished the test in 5 minutes,
I HOPE YOU FAIL!
Dear mom,
Please stop trying to clean my face with your spit.
Dear Canadians,
If I throw a slice of ham over the border to Canada, is it ham or Canadian bacon?
Dear Dunkin' Donuts,
Having a slogan like "America runs on Dunkin'" isn't helping our image.
Dear mom,
If you're always saying "You shouldn't care what other people think about you," why do you obsessively clean the house every time we have guests?
Dear Edward Scissorhands,
I'm sorry you'll never be able to win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Dear Ariel,
Crabs are such a pain to get rid of, aren't they?
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