Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Irony.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
I'm sorry.
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Dear dad,
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Dear Girls who have Orange spray tans,
Oompa loompa doopity dooooooooo.....
Dear Dad,
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
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