Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Sincerely, Ginger with no soul
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear Football team,
Yes, yes I am blaring the Tangled soudtrack from my car right next to where your practice is taking place. No I will not stop.
Sincerely, if it's so stupid, then why is numer 29 singing along?
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Sincerely, 6-year-old daughter.
Dear illegal Mexican immigrants,
Thank you for distracting the Americans from the other border...
Sincerely, illegal Canadian immigrant
Dear movie theater usher,
What's in my bag you ask? Oh just my convenient Pocket Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendment IV, which happens to state that I have the right not to be searched without a warrant. Hm. Convenient.
Sincerely, I like my gummy bears and I'm not paying $12 for them
Dear band teachers,
Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".
Sincerely, students cracking up
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Sincerely, the Opportunist
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Sincerely, yeah, I didn't think so.
Dear drunk people next to us,
Hope you enjoy your photos tomorrow.
Sincerely, stealthy, sober, photobomber
Dear girls of Jersey,
I put the STD in STUD all I need is U!
Sincerely, Mike, the Situation
Dear Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White,
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this!
Sincerely, Prince Charming
Dear online website that asked if I was human,
What do you think I am?
Sincerely, a tiger with thumbs
Dear omg Wut r u Gona get me 4 Xmas?,
A fricken dictionary.
Sincerely, The world.