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Dear Newton,
For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
Dear Comrade Obama,
This is a capitalist society, not a communist dictatorship.
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
You could of told me that you were pregnant before you got the abortion. It was my choice too.
Dear men who shave,
Please stop being such little babies about your face and how it burns and makes you sore. You know that your grandad probably used one crazy-kill-you-dead-if-you-mess-up-sharp-ass-blade and never complained?
Dear Dudes trying to hit on me,,
If you know who John Eggbert,Ask Ketchum, Nibbles, Bean the Dynamite, Kiku Honda, and Princess Luna are and have an awesome sense of humor then it might happen.
Dear people,
I was wrong. I was wrong about racism in America. I know that now, and I'm ready to make a change. I just wanted you to know that I've learned so much, and there IS hope.
Dear everyone,
Unless your S/O has cheated on you, or you have definite reason to suspect he or she is, you NEVER have any right to check their phone, email, or social media.
Dear everyone,
We should just let gay people get married; marriage is a joke anyway. People marry for tax benefits or because they think they're in “love,” and 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway. Gay people can't possibly ruin the institution of marriage any more than the celebrities whose "marriages" lasted less than 24 hours.
Dear Fred,
Remember that time we tried to put our names in the Goblet of Fire? I wish that wasn't the only time that we'd see each other old.
Dear daughter who hates every food that I cook,
Cook your own food. Here's money for groceries.
Dear World,
why is it okay for Adele to make an album about her breakups but people make fun of Taylor swift for doing it?
Dear politicians who wrote the ACA,
The vasectomy is the most safe and effective form of birth control that exists for either sex. Why the hell isn't its coverage required by the ACA? ...oh yeah, I forgot: birth control and family planning is only about women.
Dear little kids,
Did you really think sledding down and ice covered hill was going to end well? Neither did I.
Dear World,
Since when have curvy and fat become synonyms?
Dear Customers,
Your bra and other undergarments are not pockets. Please excuse the disgusted look on my face as I douse your money in lysol.
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