Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear sluts,
I hope your finals are as easy as you are.
Dear Ronald McDonald,
It's really sad that kids recognize you more easily than our president, or even a picture of Jesus.
Dear vegetarians,
My food craps on your food.
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Dear girlfriend,
Please be home next time I show up outside your window with a boombox and 80's music.
Dear Lady Gaga,
I lost a lot of respect for you when you called Adele fat. I thought you were anti-bullying?
Dear teacher,
Putting the dumb kids in a group with a smart kid doesn't do any good.
Dear parents,
When I said I was going to write a novel, I wasn't joking...
Dear boy who asked me why I wear a bra because I have nothing to put in it,
Well, you wear pants don't you?
Dear college,
I really am giving up my first born child to attend you.
Dear Mom,
If my friends jumped off a bridge it would be because I jumped first.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles,
Do your job!
Dear tween girls at the mall,
Your cockiness is shocking, considering you're wearing a training bra and your mom drove you here.
Dear old lady Wal-Mart cashier who told me she doesn't approve of teen moms,
Good thing that little girl's my niece then, huh?
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