Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Vice Principal with a lisp,
FYI, none of your students take you seriously.
Dear crush's boyfriend,
When I said "Nice to meet you" I meant "Prepare to die in your sleep."
Dear art teacher,
Yes I did draw a picture. Of what you say? Well of a cow eating grass of course. Where's the grass? Uhm duh, the cow ate it all. Where's the cow? He left to go find some more grass.
Dear stupid people in my physics class,
Please keep getting really low grades on tests, forcing the teacher to curve the grades
Dear girls who dress like it's Summer in the Winter,
HA!
Dear 11 year old,
Really? Your weekend plans are to get your eyebrows waxed, buy makeup and text your boyfriend?
Dear Biology students,
I enjoy seeing the paranoia set in as you realize every answer on the test is A.
Dear Parents,
If I don't answer at 4:10, I'm probably not going to answer at 4:12.
Dear pervert,
Yeah, that's what she said. But not to you...
Dear judgemental fathers,
Hitler wanted to be a painter, but his dad said no...
Dear enormously tall black football player walking by me,
That really made my day when your phone went off and Taylor Swift started singing "Our Song"
Dear boys,
I thought dicks were supposed to be in your pants, not in your personality.
Dear black people who say "it's because I'm black isn't it?",
I'm going to start saying "it's because I'm white isn't it?" and see how annoying and stupid you think it sounds.
Dear Harry Potter Fans,
Did you know "muggle" used to be slang for marijuana?
Dear boyfriend,
The fact that you didn't judge me when I said I wanted a dinosaur pillow pet (even though I'm 21) makes me like you even more...
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