Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear doctor,
The longer you leave me unattended in your office, the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar.
Dear women who fake orgasms,
It's funny, because you think we care.
Dear Americans,
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in ENGLISH, thank a veteran.
Dear druggie on Facebook,
You post videos and pictures of yourself smoking pot everyday and don't get arrested, but I get pulled over for going 3 mph over the speed limit?
Dear America,
The light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily switched off due to budget cuts.
Dear guys,
Give up the speedos or we will give up the bikinis
Dear girls who complain about having A cups,
At least you know if a guy likes you it's probably for your personality.
Dear extreme feminists,
Please don't tell me that I can be anything I choose and then berate me for choosing to be a stay-at-home mom.
Dear bullies,
I don't have zits, my face just speaks braille.
Dear physics problems,
If a man fell out of a building, why aren't you calling an ambulance?
Dear girlfriend,
Please be so kind as to explain to me how on earth you are pregnant.
Dear construction workers tearing trees down right behind my house,
Please enjoy me blasting "Colors of the Wind" from my deck while you work.
Dear students,
If I have three bottles in one hand and five in the other... what do I have?
Dear Gatorade,
I think they call that chromhidrosis.
Dear Kidz Bop,
If I wanted to hear someone sing my favorite song badly, I'd go to a karaoke bar.
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US