Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Sincerely, bad puns.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Sincerely, What's that? You changed your' mind??
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Sincerely, boom roasted!
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Sincerely, there's a pregnant woman in your ad...
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Sincerely, your immature students.
Dear guy at the gym,
Sincerely, my smile LITERALLY tripped you up.
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Sincerely, "Hi how are you"
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Sincerely, I'll pick you up at seven.
Dear Girls who have Orange spray tans,
Oompa loompa doopity dooooooooo.....
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.