Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girls who say all boys are the same,
You mean all boys YOU LIKE are the same.
Dear girl who keeps taking mirror pics,
It loses its effect when your Super Jumbo Tampons box is in clear view.
Dear girls,
Please stop mistaking our flirting for kindness.
Dear 16 and Pregnant,
Your prequel should be 15 and Slutty, and your sequel should be 20 and Unemployed.
Dear guys in the friend zone and like a brother zone,
You think YOU have it bad?!
Dear Police Officer,
Well, in dog beers, I've only had one!
Dear biology teacher,
Yes, your comment during class yesterday was hilarious, but really, you are WAAAAY too old to be saying stuff like that!
Dear life,
If you give me lemons to make lemonade, I'm also gonna need sugar, ice, water, a pitcher, a table, cups, bendy straws, and those little umbrellas you put in the cup to make it look pretty.
Dear Disney Channel,
You keep using that word, "Disney," I don't think you know what it means. You know nothing of my work.
Dear math,
I used to like you; then you hooked up with the alphabet.
Dear parents,
So Santa has the same wrapping paper as us, the same handwriting as you, and an elf named China that makes most of the toys?
Dear teachers,
You might want to consider checking your students homework instead of just putting checks on them...
Dear World,
I'm not waiting for my Prince Charming, I'm waiting for my King Arthur!
Dear Phineas and Ferb,
Don't worry, when we make fun of Disney Channel, that obviously doesn't include you.
Dear guys,
Yeah, I get it. You don't want the cake makeuped, half plastic, plucked, waxed, tanned and dyed chicks that are faking themselves up for attention. You want some chick that naturally looks like that.
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