Dear those who want to raise the minimum wage,
If you want higher pay, get a better job!
Sincerely, the businesses that would fail if minimum wage was raised to $15!
Jumping around half-naked with pom poms is not a sport!
Sincerely, female athletes everywhere
Dear people who pray before meals,
Please stop praying to God to make your double-decker cheeseburger, large coke, and fries nourish your body. That's not how it works...
Sincerely, Eat healthy!
Please stop complaining about your periods. Would you rather be pregnant?
Sincerely, a girl who is pregnant and suffering...
Dear those who are grossed out by incest,
If you love someone, you should be with them. I don't see what is wrong with that.
Sincerely, someone who understands that love is love.
If you don't want us watching porn, have sex with us.
Sincerely, your boyfriends
Please know that I push you to take a shower after sex so I can finish what you didn't...
Sincerely, frustrated girlfriend
Dear people who get upset at me for driving "too slow",
I'm driving the speed limit and saving you from getting a ticket!
Sincerely, You're welcome!
We are giving you apples for a reason. It worked with Snow White...
Sincerely, your students
Dear Taylor Swift,
Boys don't seem to be working out for you. Maybe you should test out girls?
Sincerely, a lesbian who would be interested in testing out this theory.
Dear dog owners,
Having your dog wear a leash is not a suggestion, it's the law no matter how "well trained" your dog is!
Sincerely, a dog attack survivor.
Dear KFC commercial executives,
Please stop featuring only African American people in your commercials. We do eat other things besides fried chicken...
Sincerely, The African American community
Dear sleeping dog,
RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF!!!!!
Sincerely, what goes around comes around.
I blame you for my failing grades.
Sincerely, a boy who procrastinates by visiting your site.
Dear fellow teens,
Know that in twenty years from now it won't matter what clothes you wore, what sports you played or how many people had a crush on you. What matters will be your kindness, intelligence and hard-work.
Sincerely, the nerds