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TODAY
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ALL TIME
Dear Internet,
Please realize stereotypes are there for a reason
Dear woman at my gym,
There was no real need to bitch at me the way you did. I didn't realize that looking at you was deemed offensive.
Dear Teachers,
Please stop complaining about grading all our work.
Dear coworker,
Don't try and get upset over my opinion on gay marriage. You are the one who called me out and demanded that I answer you, so don't try and act like I'm 'oppressing' you when I tell you it's a sin. Premarital sex is a sin too, but I don't 'oppress' any of the others about it when they talk about it.
Dear certain Americans,
Please can we have a civil conversation about gun laws and statistics without you using "Second Amendment" as your only argument? This is a really important topic, please don't shrug it off because of how it might affect you.
Dear Republican Party,
You've got plenty of candidates that can beat Hillary. Jeb Bush is not one of them. Please, nominate somebody who can actually win.
Dear Supreme Court,
THANK YOU!
Dear Vinegar,
I'm the reason anybody actually likes you.
Dear Democrats,
Calling black Republicans "Uncle Toms" is racist. Your political affiliation does not give you license to be hateful to the people who disagree with you.
Dear vegetarians who try to force their choice on everyone,
Please realize that your diet is your choice, and you don't need to lament when someone eats meat while around you.
Dear person saying "I can't even do that sober" to a cop,
You just admitted you weren't sober...
Dear dad,
Please know that I will never forgive you for making my childhood/teenage years a living hell. I was the best child I could be, but you still put me down.
Dear Star Wars fans,
What if the Indiana Jones stories are really Han Solo's dreams when he is frozen in Carbonite?
Dear Diary,
I ate a unicorn today. It was tasty.
Dear friend who keeps telling me to donate to her causes,
According to you, I'm in the top 15% of richest people globally. However, that does not mean I can afford to go giving it away. Different countries have different currencies, different economies and different prices. What I get may make me wealthy by comparison to the average farmer in Ghana, but here I'm barely above the poverty line. Perhaps you should turn your attention to your own back yard before you go saving the world.
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