Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear boys who let their girlfriends pay for dinner,
Yes, we are judging you.
Dear Parents,
You'll never ask me to do the laundry again.
Dear 50 people who have posted on my Facebook wall for my birthday,
I wonder how many of you actually KNEW my birthday?
Dear white middle class senior,
HA, nice try.
Dear boy who asked for my number over a six months ago and is just calling today,
Yeah right!
Dear girl I like,
I'm really attracted to you and according to Newton's laws of gravitation, you're attracted to me, too.
Dear textbook writers,
No, adding an exclamation point the end of a sentence doesn't make the content any more exciting or interesting.
Dear cashier at the store,
Why yes, I am plotting horrible revenge on someone! How could you tell?
Dear popular people,
We make fun of you as well.
Dear world,
What word starts with an E, ends with an E, has an E in the middle but usually has only one letter?
Dear everyone,
Duct tape is a lot like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Dear Math,
Numbers? No problem. Letters? Okay a little tricky. Greek symbols? No. Nobody wants to do this anymore.
Dear inventor of the keyboard,
Why did you have to make the 't' and the 'g' so close together?
Dear people that wear their hearts on their sleeves,
That's a silly place to keep a heart.
Dear better than the leading brand,
Then why aren't you the leading brand?
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