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Dear religion,
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dear worst teachers I ever had,
Please stop treating every other student better than me just because I don't kiss your butt, just because I can't report you for your continuous injustice.
Dear Mom,
Please don't buy me any new clothes. I am not five anymore, and do not want a purple shirt with a rainbow butterfly on the front.
Dear Baby Seal,
So you just walked right into a club?
Dear Kid Next To Me In Math Class,
Please Don't make me watch over you to see if you did a problem right. I have my own work to do and I'm not the teacher.
Dear Han,
I shot first you little sh*t
Dear new seasonal guy who thinks only women have to vacuum,
Please enjoy the next three months of your seasonal job being on the night shift. Where at the end of every shift someone has to vacuum, that someone now being you.
Dear college kids,
Please be wary of crosswalks, I really don't want to hit you and pay my tuition as well as yours.
Dear coworkers,
It's not that I have no sympathy for people with cancer; I just can't see how you coming to work in your pyjamas is going to help them.
Dear 'Friendzoned' people,
Please... Just stop. I've had to explain to seven girls now why I'm not mad that they rejected me. Stop blaming people when they aren't attracted to your ugly face.
Dear crush,
Please notice the amount of butterflies you put in my stomach when you talk to me
Dear maths teacher,
Please realise that we aren't college students who can understand and write every thing down in 0.02 seconds. Wish you knew that...
Dear supposed friends,
Please try and realise that life does not revolve around you.
Dear Sister,
I know you aren't straight. But I still love you. Do what makes you happy.
Dear person accusing me behind my back,
Please note that carefully restraining my son during a temper tantrum is NOT abuse. If I'm not much mistaken, it is rather more frowned upon to allow a child to hurt himself or others! You are only here a few hours per month. You have not seen him bash his head into the wall when angry, or try to bite himself or me, or kick me in the 8-months-pregnant belly. Don't shoot your mouth off without facts.
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