Dear Father,
Please realize I lost respect for you when I caught you watching porn
Sincerely, a very disturbed daughter
Dear Birds,
Please don't wait so long to fly out of the road
Sincerely, my 4000 lb car always wins.... *squish*
Dear kid staring at me,
I am going to keep staring into the depths of your soul until you look away
Sincerely, I hate small children
Dear face Tattoos,
At what point in your life did you decide that was a good idea
Sincerely, don't you want a job?
Dear Girls who want a guy in any kind of armor,
I'd rather have one in tie-dies and peace signs.
Sincerely, Why do they always have to be violent?
Dear women,
Being stuck up and unapproachable doesn't make you more attractive.
Sincerely, guy wanting to meet new people
Dear incessantly whiny roommate,
The next time you treat a first world problem like an international crisis, I'm going to pee in your orange juice.
Sincerely, I'll give you something to cry about.
Dear people complaining about "nerds" reminding the teacher about homework,
Please stop your whining. I did my work, and I want credit for it. It's not my fault you didn't do it.
Sincerely, "Nerd"
Dear people who are easily offended,
What you find offensive, I find funny
Sincerely, Happier than you
Dear people at my school,
Yes I am president of chess club. Yes I am good at math. Yes I play flute.
Sincerely, And yes, I am in fact a white chic.
Dear overprotective mother,
I'm in high school. I'm taking all available honors classes, have been to the National Spelling Bee, been on "Kids Jeopardy!", and have an IQ of 135.
Sincerely, I think it's time to let me see a PG-13 movie.
Dear girls who wear just leggings to school,
Please stop! I don't want to see what pattern underwear you have or your butt crack
Sincerely, me
Dear Romeo,
And THAT is how you die for love.
Sincerely, Snape
Dear Math Teachers,
Please stop saying "You won't always have a calculator"
Sincerely, Do you even go anywhere without your cellphone?
Dear 105 degree summer weather,
Can you not?
Sincerely, wishing it was always 67 degrees
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