Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear math,
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Dear skinny guy riding a motorcycle who nodded at me,
Just because you are riding a motorcycle does not automatically make you cool or attractive.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Is "back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine" code for "I really liked him, but then I became too famous for him?
Dear mom,
I found the $100 without needing to clean. I think you need to find a better hiding place that isn't under my pillow.
Dear geometry,
Thank you for preparing me for the time when I'll have to figure out the lengths of the mid-segments of an isosceles triangle.
Dear math teacher,
If I had twenty candy bars and ate nineteen of them what do I have?
Dear Grandma,
Please stop telling me I look older everytime you see me
Dear girl who I saw wearing my clothes that I left on the bus,
Yeah, that's creepy.
Dear Charmin Brand toilet paper,
Aren't your commercials technically bear porn?
Dear people who check behind the shower curtain,
At least when I do it, I have a baseball bat in hand.
Dear Facebook,
I wish you had to pass a sobriety test to login.
Dear person I'm talking to,
Please do not ask me "North or South?" when I say I'm Korean.
Dear floor,
I missed you!
Dear sandwich,
Sorry you got put in the middle of this.
Dear <,
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
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