Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear movie theater usher,
What's in my bag you ask? Oh just my convenient Pocket Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendment IV, which happens to state that I have the right not to be searched without a warrant. Hm. Convenient.
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear "teams",
There is no team Edward, no team Jacob, no team Potter, no team Gale or Peeta. There isn't even a team guy who almost hit Bella with a car.
Dear band teachers,
Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Dear Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White,
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this!
Dear omg Wut r u Gona get me 4 Xmas?,
A fricken dictionary.
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Dear Foreign Language Teacher,
The hardest part about the test isn't knowing the vocab, it's figuring out what each picture is
Dear boyfriend,
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
Dear dad,
Did you really just ask me if I wanted to go spin donuts in the local grocery store parking lot at 9 at night?
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
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