Dear movie theater usher,
What's in my bag you ask? Oh just my convenient Pocket Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendment IV, which happens to state that I have the right not to be searched without a warrant. Hm. Convenient.
Sincerely, I like my gummy bears and I'm not paying $12 for them
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Sincerely, 6-year-old daughter.
There is no team Edward, no team Jacob, no team Potter, no team Gale or Peeta. There isn't even a team guy who almost hit Bella with a car.
Sincerely, There is ONLY team Rocket
Dear band teachers,
Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".
Sincerely, students cracking up
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Sincerely, the Opportunist
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Sincerely, yeah, I didn't think so.
Dear Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White,
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this!
Sincerely, Prince Charming
Dear omg Wut r u Gona get me 4 Xmas?,
A fricken dictionary.
Sincerely, The world.
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Sincerely, 15 admirers in 15 seconds.
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Sincerely, just stuck your whole arm in a condom to show that no guy can lie that the condom 'doesn't fit.'
Dear Foreign Language Teacher,
The hardest part about the test isn't knowing the vocab, it's figuring out what each picture is
Sincerely, is that a coat or jacket?
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
Did you really just ask me if I wanted to go spin donuts in the local grocery store parking lot at 9 at night?
Sincerely, I like when mom is on vacation.