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Dear girls,
The silent treatment isn't really a punishment.
Dear women,
Don't worry about magazines telling you you're fat; porn sites tell us we need penis enlargements all the time.
Dear world,
If women were in charge, there wouldn't be wars. Just a bunch of countries not speaking to each other.
Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Dear little sister who rides horses,
I'm more of a "save a horse, ride a cowboy" kind of girl.
Dear students,
If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Dear general population,
When I said, "How stupid can you be?" - it wasn't meant as a challenge.
Dear Adele,
Writing whole albums about boys who break hearts is kinda my thing....
Dear musicians,
For the love of all that's holy - stop putting sirens in your music!
Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Dear person in movie who is being chased by a rolling boulder.,
Don't run in front of it! Just run to the side! It won't kill you if you're not in from of it!
Dear Romeo,
I was just taking a power nap.
Dear Edward Cullen,
You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.
Dear God,
Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT let this thing fall down on me.
Dear jerk,
I didn't slap you. I gave you a flatbread knuckle sandwich.
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