Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
Dear teacher who just told the bully in the class I might be her boss someday,
Not likely, I don't plan on being a pimp when i grow up.
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Sincerely, It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday...
Dear Trojan condom commercial,
"These condoms were tested three times." So...you're telling me this is someone's JOB? TO TEST CONDOMS?
Sincerely, dropping out of college.
It's been shown that when most women kill, they do it with poison.
Sincerely, you still want that sandwich?
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Sincerely, there's a pregnant woman in your ad...
Bloody hell? Yeah about once a month.
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Sincerely, your immature students.
Please come and pick Peach up. She is way too high maintenance.
Dear twilight fans,
I saw a man with a shirt that said, "team: guy who almost nailed bella with a car."
Sincerely, he is my new best friend.
Are you wet yet?
Dear Boys trying to talk to each other,,
Girls are better than you think at reading lips.
Sincerely, I think my butt looks good today, too.
Dear U by Kotex,
You're right. Now that all my pads and tampons come in highlighter colors I'm so excited to get my period!!!!
Sincerely, nope. still sucks.