Dear blonde in my class,
Please stop asking stupid questions. YES, the Pacific Ocean is a body of water.
Sincerely, peeved girl who sits behind you
Dear people that walk too damn slow,
Please remember natural selection will catch up to you one day
Sincerely, pick up the pace
Dear people complaining about the NSA,
Please actually get educated on the subject before saying that the NSA is stalking your internet posts or phone conversations. They only have access to the in and out number that you dial on your phone
Sincerely, it may still be wrong but at least get your information right
Dear teens complaining about the 'younger generation',
Please realize that although they may be doing things that are too mature for their age, the biggest influence in their lives are YOU. Although you don't notice it, the preteens watch you swear, cover yourselves with makeup, and glue yourself to your cellphone, and eventually they come to the conclusion that these actions are right. YOU are the reason that the 'younger generation' is 'messed up', so please watch your own actions and check your surroundings before doing something stupid.
Sincerely, the offended yet mature preteens of the 'messed up generation
Dear "depressed because I haven't had a date in two ",
I haven't had a date in about four years and I'm perfectly happy with that.
Sincerely, why do girls always need a guy to be happy? What's wrong with being single?
You made a mistake in buying me. I will now take control of your life until the day I die. For if you do anything out of line of what I want from you, I can sink my ever-so-sharp teeth into your neck at full force in the dead of night when you're dreaming about how you wish you could have had a dog instead.
Sincerely, Your Ever-so-Loving Cat
Dear people who don't pay attention,
Et cetera is abbreviated as etc, not ect...because Et comes before Cetera, therefore et comes before c...
Sincerely, It's not that difficult.
Dear new 20 year olds,
Congratulations!!! You just surpassed teen pregnancy!
Sincerely, renewed hope
Dear Girl across the library,
Please If I can hear your music from several tables away, I feel sorry for your ears.
Sincerely, Maroon 5 isn't THAT good.
Dear 5 Seconds of Summer,
Please do a free show for your fans in Georgia.
Sincerely, fangirl who's too poor to buy tickets
Dear racist White people,
It's pretty stupid to say that an African American person is "too light to be Black". You obviously don't realize that Black people vary in complexion.
Sincerely, racism indeed still exists
How about we take the government out of marriage? We can allow people who are religious to practice their beliefs on marriage, and with the amount of churches marrying homosexual coples there would no longer be an issue there. Tax forms could be done based on number of years co-habitating and number of dependents, and welfare could be decided this way as well. Also, it furthers separation of church and state. Requiring marriage licenses was just a way for past governments to better control its people.
Sincerely, Just throwing it out there.
Dear Feminist roommates,
Please stop lumping all males into one group of "douche bags". I know plenty of great guys who you continually insult in front of me because you think all men are out to have sex and suppress women and are just all around jerks and have no morals or respect.
Sincerely, Your roommate who is willing to defend men
Dear Bella Swan,
I've met bread more interesting than you.
Sincerely, Rather stare at bread than watch Twilight any day.
Dear 'Occupation needs to end',
It was actually called Palestine during the Roman empire in 2nd century ce by the ruler Hadrian to get back at the Jews as they attempted to stay an independent nation, so he named it after the biblical enemies of the Jews, the 'Philistines', but it was a Jewish Nation long before that
Sincerely, Not even Jewish, but i've actually read these history books you reference