Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear sister,
Your complaints about the monster under your bed offend me.
Dear teachers,
Students give you apples for a reason.
Dear Iceburg,
Please send my regards to global warming. Karma's a b****.
Dear Curiosity,
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Dear Michael Jackson,
I'm ok
Dear girl who said she could get ten times the number of guys I could,
Well... i have 0
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
Dear Mom,
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Dear papercut,
I will find you...
Dear power outage,
Thank you for ending when I said lumos
Dear Students,
Please stop going in bars when you're underage... or at least, go in another bar!!! You're not supposed to see me like this!
Dear Drunk people,
Just because you CAN'T dance, doesn't mean you SHOULDN'T dance.
Dear $800 sweater,
Are you made of unicorn hair?
Dear Voldemort,
Proactiv has a new cream for removing dark marks.
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