I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Sincerely, Question #4: The Los Angeles Lakers make me want to vomit. a. True b. True
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Sincerely, this is the last time I am giving the toilet funeral ceremony.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Sincerely, people of the Muggle world
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Sincerely, you forgot to flush.
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Of course you can have my blessing for marrying Ginny, on one condition. First, you MUST tell me what the function of a rubber duck is. I've been dying to find out.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Sincerely, not cleaning that up
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
When we accidentally fall asleep or are daydreaming in class, there is no need to point a nerf gun at us...
Sincerely, never looking out the window again
Dear toilet at friends house,
Please flush! Please flush!
Sincerely, I do not wanna ask my friend for the plunger...