Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear shampoo and conditioner,
Victory! I finished you both at the same time!
Dear telemarketer,
Sorry for answering the phone with "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?".
Dear ROTFL,
Laughing So Hard I Fell Off My Dinosaur Just Kidding I Don't Have A Dinosaur But If I Did I Would Name It Frank!
Dear whoever just called,
Thanks for not telling me who you are or your number.
Dear body,
I think you arranged yourself upside down.
Dear Crayola,
Please stop making all your crayons look so tasty.
Dear Glee,
How old are you now? Because i'm pretty sure that there are no 30 year old students at MY high school.
Dear Band-Aids,
Hmm, Spongebob or Toy Stor- OH MY GOSH, CHARLIE BROWN!
Dear computer,
Why does it take less than a second for Facebook to load but twenty minutes for my homework assignment to download?
Dear "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands",
Screw you.
Dear skirt,
Did you really have to tuck yourself into my underwear? It was a first date!
Dear optimists,
The closer it is to the weekend, the closer it is to Monday.
Dear parents,
Wait, so you named me after bread? Seriously?
Dear best man,
Please forgive me for that embarrassing speech. It was all my fault.
Dear little brother,
You made my day when you saw the model on the underwear package and said, "Well HE must be embarrassed."
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