Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Dear Foreign Language Teacher,
The hardest part about the test isn't knowing the vocab, it's figuring out what each picture is
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Dear boyfriend,
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
Dear 7 year old brother,
Please continue to hop away like a bunny when I told you to 'hop off' because I was in a bad mood. You made my day.
Dear world,
What did sodium say when chloride attacked it?
Dear 'customer' who stole my phone while I was working to help you,
Please know that I had to run your credit, and know your name, address, and I also have you on camera stealing it.
Dear Teenage boys,
I see you when you are sleeping, and those are very naughty dreams...
Dear husband,
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Dear Spongebob creators,
A squirrel in a space suit, a snail that meows, and a crab with a whale as a daughter
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear guy asking me if I'm listening to music,
No, I'm rocking out to an audiobook on the mating habits of the Canadian goose.
Dear Trix Rabbit,
We can team up and destroy those nosy kids once and for all. And then we'll have our cereal all to ourselves.
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