I have the highest grade in your class. I'm obviously paying attention
Sincerely, I just studied for this class all night, I need some sleep
Dear people who say "I'm not a feminist because I believe in gender equality. I am an egalitarian.",
That's what feminism is! It's not about man hating or gender superiority. It's about bring equal rights to all people, regardless of gender. Also, men can also be feminists, there were in fact men at the Seneca Falls meeting.
Sincerely, I wish people would understand this
Dear people who call evil beings "heartles",
WE TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!
Sincerely, The Planaria worms who don't have hearts because they don't need a circulatory system.
Yes, I am just buying my two girls ice cream, and no, my son doesn't get any. He has been throwing a tantrum this entire day, while both of my daughters have been well behaved, so they get rewarded with ice cream, and he doesn't. Please do not try and undercut my authority by giving him a cone anyway.
Sincerely, A mother who uses proper parenting techniques
Dear "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve",
Please I think you should Adam and leave.
Dear idiots at the grocery store,
Please stop saying items must be free if they don't ring the first time
Sincerely, I am going to throw my register at your head ITS NOT FREE
Please stop assuming just because I stay at my boyfriends I'm going to get pregnant
Sincerely, last night we fell asleep playing Zelda
Dear "did your Russian grandparents see the meteor?",
Can your American aunt see the Statue of Liberty from her Sacramento apartment?
Sincerely, they live on the Baltic!
I wear makeup and nice clothes to school to make myself feel good
Sincerely, don't flatter yourself
I told you to not creep up on me while I'm cutting bread. Sorry not sorry about almost stabbing you.
Sincerely, paranoid woman with fast reflexes
Dear men obsessed with blowjobs,
What's so intriguing about putting a very sensitive part of your anatomy into a cavity with teeth?
Sincerely, curious woman
Dear people in my class school church etc.,
I'm not a freak, I'm not "just repressing it", I don't need a cure, it's not my church's fault. I'm asexual because that's what I am, I'm celibate because that'
Sincerely, asexual and proud of it.
Dear best friends teacher,
Please stop imagining we are dating. I just like listening to music and catching up with him at the end of the day.
Sincerely, He is not ready for a relationship after his last girlfriend. Which I helped him get over!
Dear kids at school,
Please stop acting like little kids. We're high schoolers, and there's no need to go around humping each other and pretending to slap the teacher's butt when she bends over to get something. Really? You guys suck.
Sincerely, a girl who actually goes to school to learn.