Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people in their cars that honk.0034 seconds after the light turns green,
I swear to God, if you do it again, I will turn off my car, sit on the hood, and feed birds for an hour.
Dear teenagers,
Typing.like.this.does.not.make.you.prove.your.point. It.just.makes.it.look.like.your.computer.has.asthma.
Dear runner,
Yes, I see you checking yourself out in the shop windows.
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Dear Head and Shoulders Shampoo,
Please make a soap called knees and toes.
Dear Carrie Underwood,
We give you props, but next time maybe you shouldn't carve your name in the seats. It's a dead giveaway.
Dear roommate who left for a week to Iowa,
Thank you for leaving me completely unsupervised and in ownership of a big screen TV, surround sound speakers, and all eight Harry Potter movies.
Dear sister,
I'm not mad that you didn't get me a present; I'm just kinda disappointed that you forgot about my birthday...
Dear hipsters,
Please refrain from using the phrase 'booyah'. There is only one person that can pull that off.
Dear girl with a flashlight shopping at Abercrombie,
You made my day
Dear dog,
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Dear alphabet,
I liked you better in my soup.
Dear identical twin ,
You should have seen your face...
Dear Aunt who bought me a Rubix Cube,
uh...thanks?
Dear "soap-free" soap,
Huh?
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