Dear sister who just turned 13,
Welcome to the dark side. We've been expecting you.
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Sincerely, the United States of America.
Dear "popular kid",
If you're "cooler" than me, doesn't that make me "hotter" than you?
Sincerely, just saying.
Dear person who stole our trashcan,
Well you know how the saying goes, "one man's trash is another man's treasure..."
Sincerely, not really sure how, but...
Sincerely, sheltered private schooled kid.
Dear Washington D.C.,
Calm down, it was just an earthquake. These things happen.
Sincerely, Los Angeles.
Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Sincerely, doesn't do "forgiveness" well.
Want to hear a joke about a vegetable?
Sincerely, it's pretty corny!
Looking for intelligent life?
Sincerely, don't check my house!
Did you know that if you're about to sneeze and say raspberry, it stops you?
Sincerely, you're welcome.
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely, just had a heart attack.
We wore our pants like that first!
Sincerely, a very angry plumber.
Dear person in movie who is being chased by a rolling boulder.,
Don't run in front of it! Just run to the side! It won't kill you if you're not in from of it!
Sincerely, oh look, you're dead. Should've taken my advice.