Dear school staff,
MY SON IS ALLERGIC TO WHEAT! I don't care about your damn healthy eating program, if you try to feed him wheat, he could have a major reaction.
Sincerely, Try and force him again and I will see you in court.
Dear Anatasia Steele from Fifty Shades of Grey,
It is not BDSM. It is abuse. Run.
Sincerely, A REAL submissive
When did the definition of "troll" become "anyone who disagrees with my views, even if he/she is doing so in a non-inflammatory manner"? Why are some of you so quick to want dissenting opinions silenced, censored, and/or disregarded? When did seeing all sides of an issue become a bad thing?
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.
Sincerely, Am I a freak of nature??
I do not forgive you for throwing things at me when your drunk. I do not forgive you for making me watch my back when your drunk because im scared you might hit me. Im sorry i cant explain to you right now why im not going to your house. Im sorry i dont think you deserve that kind of respect...
Sincerely, A daughter that needs to know you still love me
Dear Fellow Females,
How the heck do I go about learning how to dress properly? I go into a store and get overwhelmed by too many choices.Why don't women have an easy standard for nice clothes like men do?
Sincerely, 21 and incapable
Never ask a girl if she is PMSing
Sincerely, its never a good idea. Ever.
Please be generous.
Dear guys on tinder,
Pics of you with your arm around a girl does not exactly help your chances.
Sincerely, girls on tinder
Dear people who use the "free speech" defence,
Free speech allows you to escape punishment for criticising the government. It does not give you free reign to say whatever you like. While you can say whatever you like, you will receive consequences. Try telling your boss to "go fuck himself" and watch as you get fired. Go threaten to kill a police officer and watch as you get arrested. Go spread bigotry and watch as everybody mocks you.
Sincerely, you will not get away with saying whatever you like
Dear donut holes,
Please stop tricking me into thinking you're healthier than a whole donut because you are smaller... It doesn't count when I eat fifteen of you.
Sincerely, donut shop worker who gets free donuts
Dear children's book illustrators,
Where does it say I'm an egg?
Sincerely, Humpty Dumpty
Getting lost on the day that I have a speech to present and am performing with my choir was not very considerate!
Sincerely, I sounded like Donald Duck singing the Hallelujah Chorus
That wasn't very knife
So you called in, over the phone, because you want to disuss issues with your account, but you don't want to talk about your account over the phone because it might not be secure?
Sincerely, not sure where to go from here