Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear guy at the car dealership,
When you said that the car that I chose "would be great during a zombie apocalypse," I knew it was the car for me.
Dear mosquitoes,
Thanks for that...
Dear Geometry Teacher,
I know you think "real life situations" are fun, but that is not how I would find the height of the empire state buliding.
Dear host,
The first rule of having people at your place is to make sure the bathrooms have toilet paper. Seriously.
Dear people with high metabolisms,
How much do they cost and where can I get one?
Dear white girl bragging that she's "black on the inside",
Really? Maybe you should have that checked out.
Dear guys who say girls shouldn't complain about periods,
An egg has ruptured from our ovaries and our uterus is falling out of us.
Dear girl who thinks common sense is rare,
It's called COMMON sense
Dear parents,
I'm not stomping, I'm just walking with enthusiasm.
Dear crazy health teacher who says using condoms will give our babies cancer,
The point of birth control is that there will not BE a baby.
Dear Mom saying "But I used changed your diapers",
Yes, and I used to suck on your boobs. Times have changed.
Dear people who go to the bathroom just to get out of class,
Gee, thanks. Now they won't let anyone else go.
Dear bathroom stall makers,
Sound proof stalls.
Dear teenage couple making out in the car next to mine,
Forget you. Being single is awesome. Watch me stuff this big piece of bread into my mouth unattractively because I've got no one to impress.
Dear 11:11,
You owe me a boyfriend, a pony, and an acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
THIS IS PAGE 2
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US