Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Taylor Swift,
He's got a one-hand-feel on the steering wheel, the other on your... where?!
Dear alarm clock,
NOOO!!! I'll never know if I got that unicorn blood from the singing hippo...
Dear "smart" phone,
It's touch screen, not hammer screen.
Dear Pirates of the Carribean 4,
You're ruining our reputation.
Dear dad,
I warned you not to rip my blankets off when you try to wake me up...
Dear April showers,
We're all set now, thanks though.
Dear guys,
If you're not Ken, don't expect us to be Barbie.
Dear World,
Leonardo DiCaprio didn't die at the end of the Titanic; he washed up on the shore at the beginning of Inception.
Dear cereal,
Why do you always taste more delicious just before I go to bed than at breakfast?
Dear cast of Jersey Shore,
Be there soon!
Dear Secret Life of an American Teenager,
My secret life consists of me not brushing my teeth; not getting pregnant.
Dear Osama,
I warned you not to use "get current location" on your iPhone.
Dear movie producers,
Not all teens party and get plastered every day of the week.
Dear Facebook,
How did it taste when you sucked out my soul?
Dear ABC Family,
What part of family don't you get?
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