Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girlfriend I just killed the spider for,
I hope you realize now how much i love you.
Dear teacher making your highschool students sit in boy, girl formation,
It's high school, we don't think the opposite sex has cooties, we're going to talk no matter what.
Dear people telling me to listen to my heart,
I tried that. Turns out my heart is a mass of muscle and cannot speak.
Dear TV,
I'm sorry that I threw a shoe at you.
Dear kids who make fun of me because I am adopted,,
My parents got to choose me. Your parents got stuck with you...
Dear girl in my biology class,
Yes, I'm pale. Yes, I have above average grades. Yes, I occasionally miss school. Yes, I rarely speak. No, I am not a damn vampire!
Dear people who can't get over the fact that Dumbledore's gay,
...but you believe he's a wizard?
Dear parents,
If you buy sugar-free hot chocolate mix, please know that I will use massive amounts of marshmallows to make up for it.
Dear dreams,
Please find some way to be recorded so I can watch you again and not forget five minutes after I wake up.
Dear 7-year-old cousin,
Yes I'm serious, they don't have recess in college.
Dear schools,
Why is it that the classrooms are so cold? My iPod can't register the nonexistent heat of my fingers... Oh wait...
Dear "Wow you're so pretty! You look just like your sister!",
Thanks, but she looks like me.
Dear squidward,
I don't get it, you get out of the shower and have a towel around your lower half. But when you get dressed you only have a shirt on.
Dear Dora,
How do you get that T-shirt to fit over your head?
Dear friends,
So I don't go on Facebook for a couple of days, and all of the sudden I get frantic phone calls from you, worried that I have been killed or kidnapped?
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