Dear Catherine of Aragon,
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no heir.
Sincerely, King Henry VIII.
Care to join us?
Dear midwife who just fainted during my first child's birth,
Where did you go to school!?!?
Sincerely, WAKE UP WAKE UP!!
Now that's how you fake a death.
Sincerely, Harry Potter.
Come to the nerdy side...
Sincerely, we have pi.
Dear 7th grader who hit on me during 5th period lunch,
I told you I was a teacher. Now do you believe me?
Sincerely, welcome to 6th period English.
Dear Mark Twain,
Thank you for being the funniest man to ever walk the planet!
Sincerely, I believe God created humans because He was dissappointed in monkeys.
Dear cute lifeguards,
I hope you can't tell that I just farted.
Sincerely, making bubbles.
Why do you get to poop inside?
Taking the TV remote doesn't stop me from watching TV. I can manually turn it on and change the channel as I please.
Sincerely, just because I'm from the age of technology doesn't mean my IQ is 40.
Dear boys I babysit,
Please stop looking at my belly button when I take you to the water park. I already told you: girls do not pee out of their belly buttons.
Sincerely, go talk to your mom.
Dear Domino's pizza is now served with real cheese,
What were you using before...?!?!?!
Sincerely, concerned customer.
Dear tissue box,
Are you mocking my allergies by having a field of flowers on your box?
Sincerely, I am offended but I still need you!
Dear TLC channel,
Thanks for airing the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant."
Sincerely, now, as long as I am over weight I will always be wondering if I am actually just pregnant...