Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Sincerely, 15 admirers in 15 seconds.
Dear Foreign Language Teacher,
The hardest part about the test isn't knowing the vocab, it's figuring out what each picture is
Sincerely, is that a coat or jacket?
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Sincerely, Just saying
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Sincerely, just stuck your whole arm in a condom to show that no guy can lie that the condom 'doesn't fit.'
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
Dear 7 year old brother,
Please continue to hop away like a bunny when I told you to 'hop off' because I was in a bad mood. You made my day.
Sincerely, Amused older sister.
What did sodium say when chloride attacked it?
Dear 'customer' who stole my phone while I was working to help you,
Please know that I had to run your credit, and know your name, address, and I also have you on camera stealing it.
Sincerely, knock, knock... it's the police.
Dear Teenage boys,
I see you when you are sleeping, and those are very naughty dreams...
Sincerely, Santa Claus
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Sincerely, you're the one who suggested I stop climbing on the counters
Dear Spongebob creators,
A squirrel in a space suit, a snail that meows, and a crab with a whale as a daughter
Sincerely, you guys were high
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Sincerely, just made my day.
Dear guy asking me if I'm listening to music,
No, I'm rocking out to an audiobook on the mating habits of the Canadian goose.
Sincerely, what do you think?