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Dear straight guys everywhere,
Please don't think that I'm into threesomes (with you or anyone else) just because I'm bisexual!
Dear 'Respect my opinions',
Your opinions degrade, humiliate and kill.
Dear Unicorns,
I thought you could fly.
Dear Reader,
I've had so many of these published I'm starting to think they're all written either me or like one guy I hate.
Dear "Virgins are like unicorns!!!!",
They're horny?...
Dear girl/boy who said they were embarrassed about not having a boyfriend at 15,
Please, don't even sweat it babe. I'm 17 and haven't had my first kiss yet.
Dear teachers,
Please realize that when you say "due Friday", we hear "do Friday."
Dear Macy's,
I filled out a job application for you and suddenly my inbox is being spammed like crazy. Seriously, how classless of you using job applications to get peoples' e-mails to sell to scam websites.
Dear Body,
Please tell me why you always complain your exhausted and then waste energy on stupid things we don't need?
Dear girl I like,
My finger slipped. I didn't mean to say "I think you're adora8ht895flhjdig759th02"
Dear high school boys,
Please stop trying to make me feel uncomfortable with your sexual conversations.
Dear Reader,
I just realised 'mother of pearl' is called that because it comes from oyster shells. Literally the mother's of pearls.
Dear Ron,
Please explain why you have Charlie's old wand.
Dear underwire bra,
Please don't snap under pressure.
Dear person talking shit in Swedish,
What makes you think you're the only Scandinave in America?
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