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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear World,
Since when have curvy and fat become synonyms?
Dear Customers,
Your bra and other undergarments are not pockets. Please excuse the disgusted look on my face as I douse your money in lysol.
Dear man looking at me on the bus,
Just because I'm Muslim doesn't mean I have a bomb under my shirt,
Dear people who invented energy drinks,
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Dear ignorant classmate,
So... Remind me again why it's a problem that I like both men and women.
Dear Colleges,
Please tell me why an "A" is now an expected grade when it used to be F for failure, D for bad, C for average, B for Good, and A for damn near perfect?
Dear Europe,
How do you live without peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Dear teachers,
Please give us more than 13 seconds to pack our stuff up
Dear People who fake needing 'medical marijuana' just so you can get high,
I do hope that you never, ever, ever know the agony of intractable, uncontrollable, chronic pain ~ for which certain forms of cannabis can be of great help as a last resort
Dear overweight people,
If I don't have a right to comment on your body, you don't have a right to comment on mine. Deal?
Dear boys,
When we say "I hate boys" it means "I hate boys who I thought were nice but actually turned out to be jerks and I definitely don't hate all boys."
Dear work,
I'm violently throwing up and you expect me to go to a doctor's to figure out if something is wrong with me?!?!
Dear waiters and watresses,
Please don't ask me if I am a vampire when I ask what has garlic in it and laugh in my face when I say no.
Dear Fellow Teenagers,
We don't need to text every second of every day, and 99% if a text is an emoji or a word like okay, yeah, or yup it is acceptable for it the be the end of the conversation. It isn't that I don't like you or don't want to talk to you, I just don't want to text you every second of my life long past when we've run out of anything to say.
Dear genetics,
Why couldn't I be born with pink hair?
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