I can make you a non-vegan rather quickly!
Sincerely, Poisonus Snake Bite!
Dear shy guitar playing intelligent attractive boy,
Please notice me, I swear I'm more than meets the eye.
Sincerely, the shy, smart and very musical girl you pass in the hall 5 times a day.
I get it. If there was blood coming out of my penis every month, I'd be pretty pissed, too.
Dear people who judge me,
Please don't. Just because I like to wear black and spikes and skulls doesn't mean that I'm emo or cutting myself. It just means you know nothing about me but insist you know what I'm like. My friends say I'm the nicest, most generous person they know.
Sincerely, a girl who just loves the color black.
If you want me to look like the girl on the victorias secret pinup, you better look like the boy in the hollister ad.
Sincerely, A realistic girl
Dear douche bag sitting in front of me,
Thanks for that asthma attack you gave me
Sincerely, that bottle of axe should last you at least a day
"Feminists" want women to have equal rights to men. Equal. It's "misandrists" who are crazy men-haters and want female supremacy.
Sincerely, they're not the same thing. Learn the difference.
Please understand that it's not just McDonalds that should be blamed for the childhood obesity epidemic. There are other fastfood cooperations and they aren't even the biggest problem. Sugar drinks and the habits provided by the parents should be blamed.
Sincerely, Someone who is educated
Dear tall people,
Yes, I know I'm short, yes, I know you find it funny, but STOP USING MY HEAD AS AN ARMREST!
Sincerely, short person
Dear guy I'm trying not to like,
Please stop being cute. Actually, just avoid me completely.
Sincerely, girl who cannot help picturing us together when you sing so off key
Dear people who care far too much about people's backgrounds,
I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
Dear ignorant classmate,
So... Remind me again why it's a problem that I like both men and women.
Sincerely, you're angry and I get the best of both worlds. Have fun with that.
Dear wannabe gangsters,
Real gangsters wore nice suits and carried violin cases
Sincerely, at least get a belt, we don't want to see your boxers.
If I used your handwriting to take your tests, you'd fail me.
Sincerely, grade neater.