Dear porn site,
No, I will not "like" you on Facebook!
Sincerely, someone with common sense
Dear Mother Nature,
I think you are going through menopause.
Sincerely, snowing in October
Please don't stop the sleigh so fast...
Sincerely, Randolph, the brown-nosed reindeer
Just let me win you!
Sincerely, a broke college student