Why didn't you just write out a message to Eric?
Sincerely, confused Disney-loving teen
You consistently show up 10 minutes late for your shifts, so of course you are going to get the crap jobs. You want to choose the best jobs, you need to get here early.
Sincerely, your non-tardy coworker
Please come to my yard even though I can not make milk shakes
Sincerely, lactose intolerant. . .
WAit, wait, wait, back up. YOU are upset with ME because MY safe, where I keep all of MY personal documents and MY emergency fund, was locked and YOU couldn't get in? What POSSIBLE reason could there be for you to need to be in there, at all?!
Sincerely, Good to know you're a klepto