Dear fellow students giving me the evil eye,
I'm sick of holding back just to avoid outshining you and, as a result, being bullied by you. So I'm good in this subject... so what?! You should thank me for ending these awkward silences after the teacher poses the question.
Sincerely, RAISING HAND LIKE A BOSS!
Dear 'you're OCD',
Please realise that OCD stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. In the same way that people cannot 'be' diabetes, I cannot be OCD.
Sincerely, I have OCD.
Please stop yelling at me when I do things for my boyfriend. He does amazing things for me so I want to give back what he has given me.
Sincerely, a loving girlfriend
I think a man wearing a helmet protecting his country should be paid more than a man wearing a helmet protecting a football.
Sincerely, one's more important than the other.
Please stop trying to eat all my popcorn. I like it too.
Sincerely, 36 C
Please stop requiring that I check in with you every time I go out, and tell you who I'm with, where I'm at, and when I'm going to be home. You're being ridiculously overbearing.
Sincerely, I'm 27
Why is it either don't eat and be skinny or eat and be fat?
Sincerely, Whatever happened to eat what you want and exercise?
Please stop making skiing, driving, and throwing a baseball more complicated then they need to be.
Sincerely, struggling student
Why would you cut spending by cutting one hot meal a day from our troops in war? It's not like they risk their lives everyday for this country or anything.
Sincerely, angry marine wife
Dear fans of The Great Gatsby,
What did Jay Gatsby say when his car ran over Myrtle Wilson?
Sincerely, Oopsy Daisy
Dear fellow band geeks,
Please stop making out on the bus to the competition.
Sincerely, when the band director said "Do lip exercises.", I don't believe this is what he meant.
Dear religious mother,
Please understand that even though I'm atheist it doesn't mean I'm teaching your child Satanism... I don't believe in him either. Taking her out of my care was hurtful. And when she tells me Bible stories, I encourage her because I know that's what you would want me to do.
Sincerely, I respect your religion, why don't you respect my lack of one?
Dear guys who complain about lack of "Nerd Girls",
I am a complete nerd girl. Video games, board games, you name it. I worked at a gaming store, judging Magic the Gathering tournaments, for a year. 99% of you complained behind my back about me "friendzoning" you. No, all it took was one guy handing me his number. It's not that we don't exist, it is that you guys need to grow a pair.
Sincerely, we are engaged now and you ARE STILL COMPLAINING
Dear feminists who have a problem with me being a stay at home mom,
The breadwinner in my family is my wife.
Sincerely, I just like housework and watching my own kids
Dear "I am not touching that blow dryer or paper towel dispenser. If I do I might as well not have washed my hands.",
People use those after washing their hands...
Sincerely, wash your hands after using the bathroom