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Dear Disney's "Planes",
Psh. We all know it's just "Cars" in the sky. What's next? "Boats"? "Helicopters"?
Dear People asking for a biracial Disney couple,
Try Pocahontas.
Dear cupid,
Seriously what did I do to piss you off
Dear Hermione did it first,
Hermione is known in the books for wonderfully bushy and out of control hair
Dear People Who Have Asked,
No, I didn't enlist in the Marines a year after my boyfriend did to 'follow him in' so that I could 'see him more often'. That's like saying he was an engineer and I also wanted to be an engineer so I went to a school all the way across the country from him a year later so that I could 'be with him more'. Except I get to see him less because vacation days while on a tour of duty suck compared to college vacations. Are you stupid?
Dear Mom,
Couldn't you at least say you were happy for us before yelling at me?
Dear burglars,
You should've seen your face!
Dear unwanted leg hair,
Please stop trying to grow on us. There are lots of men out there who would love to have better beards, why don't you go grow on them!
Dear EVIL-OO-SHUN,
Please actually know what evolution is before completely denouncing it. Evolution refers to a change in organisms over time, and has absolutely nothing to do with the creation of the world. It is people like you that pass judgment on scientific concepts that they do not have even the most basic understanding of that give Christianity a bad name. If choose not to believe in evolution, fine. Just know what it is first and find a logical argument against it so that you do not sound like a complete idiot.
Dear Pandora Radio,
Please play the artist whose name is on the station more than other artists
Dear woman who screamed at her child in the walmart parking lot,
Please understand that your three year old daughter was trying to help you by putting the groceries in the car. You should have given her something small to put away, and encourage her to help, instead of making her cry when she tore the bag of cat litter on the cart. When she's seventeen, and you need her to help carry groceries, she's not going to want to.
Dear Cousin,
We know that you like to dress a little more provocatively than our otherwise conservative family, and we're happy to leave you to your decisions normally, but seriously? A hot pink sleeveless midriff that basically functions as a bra and daisy dukes? It's our grandma's funeral. Have a little respect.
Dear sweatpants and sweatshirts,
Thank you for always being there for me.
Dear Parents,
You're the ones who raised us.
Dear Essay,
Dishonor on your whole family, Dishonor on you, Dishonor on your cow!
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