You're amazing in bed.
Sincerely, practicing safe sex by masturbating
Dear students at my school,
No, I don't have cancer. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not a neo-nazi. I'm not going through a personal crisis. It's not a religious thing or an anti-establishment thing. It's just a haircut. I'm the same girl as before.
Sincerely, the girl with a shaved head
Dear "Cool People",
They didn't name a candy after you, did they?
The only way for a country to succeed, like it did 150 years ago, is to work together. We have a Democratic president now, we might have a Republican president next.
Sincerely, Political parties should not divide a country.
Dear science nerds,
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. What does the bartender say?
Sincerely, for you, no charge!
People aren't expected to "come out" as straight, so why do I have to announce my sexual preferences to the world?
Sincerely, A girl who just wants her privacy.
What kind of tea is bitter and hard to swallow?
Please understand that when I open my windows I am hoping for fresh air, not your second-hand smoke.
Sincerely, trying to breath.
Could you please take my place? People don't like me being first.
Dear guy friends,
Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm attracted to you
Sincerely, We used to be friends
Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
Sincerely, I'm not Christian, but I know this isn't right.
Dear those who believe you only live once,
Oh really? Well then we'll see about that...
Dear toilet paper,
Please stop complaining that you have the worst job. I don't want to argue with you about this anymore.
Dear Animal Planet,
Please stop recording us having sex on camera. We don't want to become famous like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. We value our privacy!
Sincerely, The animal kingdom