Dear Oxygen and Potassium,
Congrats on getting married. It may be none of my Bismuth, but your wedding wasn't great, it was OK.
Sincerely, a chemistry major.
You brought mosquitos and you didn't bring us?!
Ohhhh I'm telling Mom!!!
Sincerely, Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
Dear people who want pigs to fly one day,
Please be careful what you wish for.
Sincerely, look how bad it is when we get pooped on by birds