Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear gangsta,
If your pants were up, you might have gotten away.
Dear Boyfriend and Girlfriend,
I don't swim in your bed, so please don't have sex in my pool.
Dear Headphones,
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Dear world,
How do mermaids reproduce?
Dear whoever invented tampons,
How awkward was it for you to explain your device to people?
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