Dear person with diabetes,
No, I'm not ignoring you because you have diabetes. I'm ignoring you because you're acting like a bitch.
Sincerely, stop using you diabetes as an excuse for everything..
Dear couple sitting next to me on the plane,
Thanks for the pamphlet on accepting Jesus. I'm Jewish.
Sincerely, well this is awkward...
Please keep me awake while I do my homework
Sincerely, an overworked student
Dear butterflies in my stomach,
Please find somewhere else to flutter; I need to sleep tonight.
Sincerely, Soon to Defend her Thesis