Please stop judging me for having a housekeeper. My parents work long hours and can afford it, so why shouldn't they pay someone to clean for them? They're able to relax, and the housekeeper gets a well-paying job.
Sincerely, everybody wins
Dear high schoolers at dances,
Wait you mean you don't do a Samba to this song?
Sincerely, teenage Latin ballroom dancer
Dear squishy civilian,
When we tell you to leave, and you say "I'm not going to leave without you", you are not helping! We can fight much better when you are off somewhere safe, and not in the way.
Sincerely, Heroes Everywhere
If your glass slipper fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
Dear bra companies,
Please understand that girl with big boob also deserve cute stuff!
Sincerely, annoyed girl looking for a cute bra and panty set
Better late than not at all, right?
Sincerely, your period
Dear people who get mad if I say black as opposed to African American,
I know I'm not black, but I find this to be more correct. These people are not from Africa anymore, they have been living here for generations and I think that black would be more correct.
Sincerely, someone who's friends with a black, British-American
Please excuse my outward grumpiness. It was an act and I'm happy you played matchmaker.
Sincerely, happy and too chicken to do it herself
Dear Americans still waiting for their Hogwarts acceptance letters,
Please note that to get from Hogwarts to America, the owls have to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. Clearly, they all get lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Sincerely, geography's a jerk.
Dear Nemo ,
Why would you touch the butt?
Sincerely, all your viewers
Not all Christians hate you and think you work with the devil. My husband is atheist.
Sincerely, tired of seeing "Dear Christians,"
Dear Male roommate who spends an hour in the shower,
Please remember there are three of us that need to get ready as well.
Sincerely, you spend longer on your hair than I spend showering.
Unhand my mother, you bitch.
Sincerely, not about to lose her yet.
Do you purposefully make our drinks worse if we're rude to you?
Sincerely, a curious customer