Dear social media,
I was raised into seeing complaining as a weakness, nudity as something natural and conversation as something you could learn from.
Sincerely, reconsidering my whole upbringing
Dear mom and dad,
Please realize we have a heater in our house.
Sincerely, your daughter who's in four layers and has six blankets
Dear caring friends,
Please understand that, although I appreciate your advice, "just be happy" is not going to work. Would you tell a diabetic to "just produce insulin".
Sincerely, Depression is a chemical imbalance, not a character flaw
Dear guy next to me at the gym,
Are you seriously just blasting your music on speaker on your iPhone?
Sincerely, they're called HEADPHONES
Y'know, I used to be okay with you. I didn't even mind when you and the alphabet started hooking up. But now a three-way triangle with Latin? Seriously?
Sincerely, no, you do not need a sine!
I hate to break this to you, but talking to your kid with a British accent will not give them one too. As a child develops their linguistic abilities, they will first learn from the parents but will eventually have an accent matching their peers (who will be presumably American). Therefore, you'll need to move to Great Britain.
Dear fans of The Great Gatsby,
What did Jay Gatsby say when his car ran over Myrtle Wilson?
Sincerely, Oopsy Daisy
If you're going to say that you're against organ donation, and that you think people with life-threatening illnesses should be left to "just die", you might want to check who you're talking to first.
Sincerely, a girl whose brother was saved by a liver transplant.
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear patronising friend,
Please stop saying you 'don't want to spoil my innocence' every time I don't get a sexual reference.
Sincerely, I'm a virgin, not a 5 year old.
Dear Metalhead Boyfriend,
Please know that I really do appreciate it when you get me onion rings from Sonic at 4 am. I wish I could wake you up with my voice, but I don't have one, so is extreme cuddling okay?
Sincerely, your mute and pregnant girlfriend.<3
I don't mind the ads. I really don't. But do you have to play the same ones over and over and over and over and over?
Sincerely, I now hate that ad so much I will never get the product even if I did want it.
Dear High School Teachers,
How do you expect us to study for finals if you keep piling up our workload two weeks before the exams.
Sincerely, Maybe I was just destined to work at McDonalds...
I'm really happy that you all have dates to the dance, but can we please talk about something else for a change?
Sincerely, the only one who didn't get asked