Dear folks with crushes,
Stop waiting for the object of your affection to "take a hint." Contrary to popular belief on this site, cute people are not psychic, and do not know that your gazing wistfully off into the distance or responding to texts promptly equals romantic attraction. So here's a nifty idea: tell them! With your words! Taking action happens to be very sexy.
Sincerely, dating's tricky enough without the telepathic undertones
Dear person who wants to know about gratitude to soldiers,
Please realize that even American is divided on that issue, our soldiers are no longer treated like they once were.
Sincerely, a worried American
Please don't feel sorry for me because I don't have a boyfriend. I'd rather be alone than have one that talks to me the way yours talks to you.
Sincerely, your single and happy roommate
Dear student who blatantly ignored all the paper requirements TWICE,
Please accept my gratitude. Because of you, I can give all the other hardworking students a higher grade
Sincerely, TA who was wondering how she could make it work.
I'm sorry I'm not naturally a stick figure like you want me to be, but please stop making fun of me when I work out.
Sincerely, slightly overweight and majorly insecure
Dear Christian Straight Female Friend,
Thank you for running off those creeps, cleaning up my cuts and scrapes, letting me sleep in your bed, and making me breakfast in the morning after I was jumped by those guys. It means the world to me.
Sincerely, Your MtF transgender friend
Dear mysterious bruises,
Where do you come from?!? WAIT! Does life throw lemons at my while I sleep?!?
Sincerely, stop! It looks like I've been mugged!
Dear Brainless Drivers,
Lane-sweeping is illegal and you're stupid. Please grow a brain and obey the law.
Sincerely, Irritated that I've been in too many "close calls" that would have been YOUR fault
Can I have my body back now? I don't even care about the hair, I just want my stamina to get through a day of work.
Sincerely, I'm only 23. I shouldn't have to deal with this.
Dear People Who Ask Advertisements "If You're Better Than The Leading Brand Why Aren't YOU The Leading Brand?",
That's a nice thought, but as much as we would all like to live in a world where the winners are always the best competitors, we don't.
Dear people thinking a certain idea of racism is bad,
I'm from a country where gingerbread men are considered racist because they're brown.
Sincerely, a facepalming Swede
Dear girl giving me the look,
It's the doctor's office. I feel terrible and I'm allowed to wear pajama pants
Sincerely, I do not your judgey eyes today
Dear extended family,
Please don't be homophobic, please don't be homophobic, please don't be homophobic...
Sincerely, bringing my partner home for Thanksgiving for the first time.
A girl in my class told me that the language spoken in Mexico is "Mexican".
Sincerely, Take a good look at our future folks...
You're usually nice to me, but when you talk about how that one girl is such a "loser" and "has no friends", it makes me wonder what you say about me behind my back.
Sincerely, and that girl happens to be a good friend of mine.