Dear motion sensing hand soap dispensers,
Gee, you're right, there are a lot of germs on hand soap pumps!
Sincerely, good thing I'll be washing them off about two seconds later!
There should be no buttons for floors 2-4 on elevators. People can walk.
Sincerely, this is why America is fat
Dear science teacher,
We're not in 3rd grade anymore
Sincerely, tired of watching bill nye
Please understand that I love that you came in for Christmas but when I say "oh yeah you've told me that story" that means you don't have to tell the story again.
Sincerely, please, in the nicest way possible, shut up or I might kill myself
To infinity and beyond!
Sincerely, I bet you get that a lot don't you?
Dear anyone called 'Aaron',
You have the laziest parents in the world.
Sincerely, first name in the baby book
Dear friend playing foosball with me,
That awkward moment when the ball is stuck perfectly in the middle of the table just out of reach.
Sincerely, what now?
Dear Christians around the world against gay marriage,
Jesus had two dads why can't anyone else?
Sincerely, Sincerely just saying
Dear Teenage Girls,
Love yourself the way you are now. Because someday, you're going to get fat.
Sincerely, Seriously, SO FAT!
Dear girl at my catholic school,
I think wearing your skirt to your mid-calves is long enough.
Sincerely, What are you Amish?
Please stop eating. Or reserve two seats.
Sincerely, squished on an international flight.
If you can name two Real Housewives cities but are unable to name two cities in Africa; go grab a fork and stick it in an electrical socket.
Sincerely, get educated.
There really is no such thing as a "friend zone."
Sincerely, girls everywhere.
Dear OJ, cola, and purple stuff,
The D in SunnyD stands for Delight.
Sincerely, just shut up and drink it
I can't understand why you won't believe me on this! I mean a dragon WAS in my fridge!
Sincerely, that's why I was late for school... and I DEFINITELY didn't just oversleep...