Dear girl who stole my heart,
I used to love girls who were pretty, popular, mean, and nasty... and they'd put me in the friend zone... and then I met you.
Sincerely, a boy who finally grew up.
Dear 14 year old,
How about you wear more clothes than you do make up?
Sincerely, would you like a shovel to take that off?
Dear Nazis,,
I said "glass of juice" not "gas the jews" you idiots!
Sincerely, Hitler
Dear people who say money doesn't grow on trees because it's made of cotton,,
Please look up where cotton comes from.
Sincerely, hint: it's also from the ground!
Dear vegetarians,
You know what I could have been if you hadn't eaten me?
Sincerely, eggs.
Dear racists,
America doesn't have an official language
Sincerely, ZING!
Dear people who say "when I was 8 we didn't have iPads",
Oh yeah? Well when cavemen were 8 they had rocks and mammoths.
Sincerely, we have technology for a reason
Dear people with eating disorders,
This is your body that you're ruining. You can't blame anyone else for your problems. Stop making life so hard on yourselves. You're fine just the way you are.
Sincerely, seriously
Dear Obama,
Please, learn to, talk without, awkward, pauses every, few words.
Sincerely, my ten year old brother is more articulate than you
Dear J.K. Rowling,
If Gryffindor's symbol is a Gryphon, and Slytherin's is a snake, and Ravenclaw's is a raven; then why is a badger called a hufflepuff?
Sincerely, curious.
Dear kid with no control in History class,
Please stop interrupting the professor, the man has a doctorate in History, and I am paying to hear him lecture me, not you.
Sincerely, pissed off.
Dear Harry,
That is not the appropriate response when you see a guy crying in a bathroom.
Sincerely, you couldn't have just asked him if he was OK?
Dear marching bands,
Stop complaining about "not getting enough respect."
Sincerely, we know you work hard but marching bands were created FOR the football team, not the other way aroun
Dear Teenage Mothers,
Please ignore their judgmental stares and rude comments.
Sincerely, Proud of you for choosing life
Dear Republicans,
Chill out. They just want to get married.
Sincerely, Jesus
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