Dear white boy,
I love you, now we need my parents to agree...
Sincerely, Indian girl.
Dear professor,
Well, this is awkward...
Sincerely, totally skipped your class this morning.
Dear hiccups,
Please tell me why you find it neccessary to visit at 12:30 AM?
Sincerely, I just wanted to go to sleep.
Dear girl who stole my heart,
I used to love girls who were pretty, popular, mean, and nasty... and they'd put me in the friend zone... and then I met you.
Sincerely, a boy who finally grew up.
Dear kid with no control in History class,
Please stop interrupting the professor, the man has a doctorate in History, and I am paying to hear him lecture me, not you.
Sincerely, pissed off.
Dear humans,
I know our relationship has been cold and distant lately, and even when I did manage to show up the space between us was icy. I just wanted to tell you that I've decided to come back to you, though I will understand if you feel like you've been burned.
Sincerely, the sun.
Dear ladies,
Please stop having sex with jerks who won't even appreciate it. There is probably some lonely guy you know that is dying to just sit and chat with you, maybe even hold your hand.
Sincerely, I'm one of those guys.
Dear Folger's Coffee commercial,
Do you have to make your holiday commercial so emotional? I just cried.
Sincerely, missing my brother, and hoping he can come home for Christmas.
Dear coaches and pe teachers,,
I'm not yawning because you're boring me, I actually find this pretty interesting.
Sincerely, I have asthma and I'm just trying to get some oxygen.
Dear ex-boyfriend,,
Strike one was when your psycho mom wouldn't let you date. Strike two was making me pay for all the food we bought at the store, and the one movie ticket and large popcorn for the movie we saw with my family. Strike three was when you took 9 months to kiss me, only did it once, and then proceeded to never text or call me to arrange any kind of "date".
Sincerely, SO DONE.
Dear teachers,
Please believe me. I am totally serious!
Sincerely, my cat tried to eat my homework.
Dear literature critics, teachers, and historians,
We no longer consider Romeo and Juliet to be the best romance ever written. In fact, we find it quite delusional and stupid. We find romances like Lupin and Tonks, who fought and died for everyone they loved, Harry and Ginny, who took some time to get together, Hermione and Ron, who worked through adversity, Snape's enduring love, and Ashe's and Misty's quirky love to be much more noble and endearing.
Sincerely, the generation that uses common sense and self-preservation.
Dear teachers,
I thought you said in the beginning of the year "anyone who smells of weed in class will be sent home."
Sincerely, the kid tired of smelling weed in half of his classes.
Dear motion sensing hand soap dispensers,
Gee, you're right, there are a lot of germs on hand soap pumps!
Sincerely, good thing I'll be washing them off about two seconds later!
Dear 14 year old,
How about you wear more clothes than you do make up?
Sincerely, would you like a shovel to take that off?
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