Dear best friend's new boyfriend,
Aww, you said so many sweet things about her.... I still don't like you, you girl-playing douche.
Sincerely, your ex-girlfriend who will kill you if you hurt her.
Dear automatic toilets,
I wasn't ready yet.
Sincerely, well that was an uncomfortable feeling.
Dear English speakers,
Tomorrow, privilege, definitely, and judgment. Please save, print, or copy to all applicable places and I will cease mocking you.
Sincerely, take the extra 2 seconds to memorize the spelling.
Dear girl in my Honors US History class,
The Bejing wall never existed. It was the Berlin wall.
Sincerely, losing my faith in humanity
Along with school and homework, I too have a job with an annoying boss and coworkers.
Sincerely, overworked teen
Dear friend on Twitter,
It's an obsession we share, but you have tweeted 4 times in the past 2 minutes.
Sincerely, maybe you should cool it down.
Dear new kitten,
It's really cute, but could you wait till morning to play with my uncovered toes?
Dear costume stores,
Slutty nurse, slutty fairy, slutty flight attendant....really?
Sincerely, I just wanted to be McGonagall...
Dear World History Teacher,
So, you're saying that the essay I procrastinated the most on got an A, but the essay I managed time on got a C?
Sincerely, What the heck is that?
Dear girl who asked if I was new,
Remember that girl who’s weight you made fun of?
Sincerely, that was me 50 pounds ago...
Dear "If you want a boyfriend go find one!",
Maybe I'm affraid no one wants what I'm offering
Sincerely, I just wanna connect with someone
Yes of course we live in igloos, ride polar bears to school, bathe in maple syrup and have pet beavers and penguins
Dear Justin Bieber,,
Please don't call yourself JB. We came up with it first.
Sincerely, James Brown and James Bond.
Please realize you're making happy girls into anorexics.
Sincerely, One of those girls