Dear Guitar Pick,
Please remember that you don't belong in my guitar
Sincerely, Just spent 20 minutes trying to get you out
Dear People who comment on DBPB,
I think your comments should have the "How dare they", "You're a douche", "Hilarious", "I like this", and "Umm, WTF?" buttons. Sometimes your comments are funnier/nastier/more idiotic than the posts.
Sincerely, Keep commenting -- I need a good laugh/eye roll :)
Dear Laffy Taffy jokes,
Please continue to help me waste time.
Sincerely, easily pleased
Dear people who haven't seen pitch perfect,
Are you acacrazy?
Sincerely, you don't see what I did there do you?
Dear boy with green eyes,
You tell me you'll love me, but then you're back with her the next second
Sincerely, I'll wait.
Dear Mother Nature,,
Please no... Really? My period? NOW?!
Sincerely, it's finals week gosh darn it!!
Please remember to check to see if their is toilet paper before you sit down.
Sincerely, been sitting here for 25 minutes waiting for someone to answer my cries for help
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob squarepants! Who died in an oil spill because of BP? spongebob squarepants!
Sincerely, Patrick sad
Dear Twix commercials,
Left Twix and Right Twix are exactly the same.
Sincerely, not fooling me
Dear department stores,
Please realize that not everyone gets boobs before they hit high school. Or even college.
Sincerely, 16 and still has to buy bras from the girls' department.
Dear sales associate,
Please stop following my sister and I around the store. Yes we look young, but we are actually 23 and 21 years old with plenty of money to pay for the dresses here.
Sincerely, If you want your commission on this overpriced dress you better not piss me off.
Dear Math Teacher,
Just because i'm taking a quiz alone in your classroom does not mean you have to creepily stand behind me breathing heavily.
Sincerely, To shy to say anything but im pretty sure this crosses a line.
You have regained your status as world-wide champion of hide and seek. Congrats.
Dear pet German Shepherd,,
Please continue breaking stereotypes.
Sincerely, seriously, you're sleeping on my lap...