Dear Tampon and/or Pad Commercials,
When I'm on my period I don't wear white and i most certainly do not dance around happily. When I'm on my period, I wear sweatpants, try to ignore the searing pain in my back, bitch to everyone, and pray whatever I'm eating won't give me indigestion.
Sincerely, You call That a Happy Period?
Dear Pi,
To infinity and beyond!
Sincerely, I bet you get that a lot don't you?
Dear people who say "what are you doing here?!" when they see me in the supermarket,
Oh you know, just hunting elephants
Sincerely, or buying strawberries...
Dear "Sorry your e-mail or password is incorrect",
TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A-.
Sincerely, about to smash my computer with a hammer.
Dear School Slut,
STDs are not Pokemon.
Sincerely, there's no reason to try and catch 'em all
Dear Obama,
You stole my "YES WE CAN!" line.... I would like it back.
Sincerely, Bob The Builder
Dear Disney,
You've made a black princess, an Asian princess, an Indian princess...how about an overweight princess?
Sincerely, two-year-olds shouldn't get the message that they have to be as skinny as a stick to be beautiful.
Dear Nazis,,
I said "glass of juice" not "gas the jews" you idiots!
Sincerely, Hitler
Dear jerks,
I hope you step on a Lego.
Sincerely, Best comeback ever
Dear History teacher,,
"Now kids, don't procrastinate your history paper until Sunday night. You will not have time to finish."
Sincerely, challenge accepted.
Dear Lifesavers,
How Ironic.....
Sincerely, Just choked on you....
Dear dentists,
Why do you insist on making conversation with me?
Sincerely, your hands are in my mouth, how do you expect me to answer?
Dear guys,
Please realize that girls, such as my friends and I, also watch movies, have ninja fights(not pillow fights,) and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.
Sincerely, girls.
Dear universe,
Can I store up the extra sleep I didn't want when I was little and use it now?
Sincerely, tired high schoolers
Dear people who check their showers for murderers,
What would you do if he was actually there?
Sincerely, if he's there, you're dead whether you check or not!
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