Dear literature critics, teachers, and historians,
We no longer consider Romeo and Juliet to be the best romance ever written. In fact, we find it quite delusional and stupid. We find romances like Lupin and Tonks, who fought and died for everyone they loved, Harry and Ginny, who took some time to get together, Hermione and Ron, who worked through adversity, Snape's enduring love, and Ashe's and Misty's quirky love to be much more noble and endearing.
Sincerely, the generation that uses common sense and self-preservation.
"If you've experienced nausea, vomiting or death, please call your doctor immediately."
Sincerely, well I'll tell God to connect me through the clouds so I can get my money back.
Dear people who say "life isn't fair",
Yes, yes it is.
Dear friend playing foosball with me,
That awkward moment when the ball is stuck perfectly in the middle of the table just out of reach.
Sincerely, what now?
Dear girls with words on the back of your pants,
Please don't give me a death glare for reading them...
Sincerely, I'm not checking you out.
I dropped my laptop in the ocean...
Sincerely, now there's a dell rolling in the deep
Dear children at pools,
Please don't run. No running, no running, no... ouch... that looked like it hurt...
Sincerely, the lifeguard who wants to tell you, "and THAT is why you shouldn't run."
Dear white boy,
I love you, now we need my parents to agree...
Sincerely, Indian girl.
I only decided to stay in a relationship with you because I finally figured out why I couldn't read your mind: You don't have a brain, which means, you're not intelligent enough to report me to authorities for whatever I may do to you.
To infinity and beyond!
Sincerely, I bet you get that a lot don't you?
Dear poker players,
Everyday I'm shuffling.
Sincerely, card dealer
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Enough with the Voldemort jokes. Everyone nose they're not funny.
Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,
If you film it and then show it to millions of people on television, it's not much of a secret anymore.
Dear girl who stole my heart,
I used to love girls who were pretty, popular, mean, and nasty... and they'd put me in the friend zone... and then I met you.
Sincerely, a boy who finally grew up.
Dear Folger's Coffee commercial,
Do you have to make your holiday commercial so emotional? I just cried.
Sincerely, missing my brother, and hoping he can come home for Christmas.