Dear Finding nemo lover girl in my geography class,
Thank you for giving me the hint P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way when I did not know the answer was Sydney.
Sincerely, Marry me?
Dear J. K. Rowling,
Please write a prequel! Then we could see all the adults when they were little! You know, like Snape stalking Lily and being bullied by James, and Bellatrix would be pulling legs off bugs on the school grounds. Luna's dad would be sitting in a corner reading magazines upside down, Malfoy (Luscious) would be picking on Arthur Weasley, and little baby Tonks would turn into something different every time she sneezed!
Sincerely, Hopeful Fan
Dear dude from India,
STOP CALLING ME. I'VE TOLD YOU FIVE F******G TIMES, YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER! I am not Hamad. That's never going to change. Stop trying. Please.
Sincerely, Sincerly, A Canadian Teenager Who Is Not Hamad.
Dear pudgy stumpy arms,
PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY, REACH!
Sincerely, alone at home and with an itchy back
Do I have to spell out my love for you for you to notice me? I thought I made it obvious....
Sincerely, Bellatrix Lestrange
You have thick, dark, beautiful hair. Please do not ruin it by trying to color it blonde.
Sincerely, is that supposed to look orange?
Please take me off your email list.
Sincerely, really, I'm fifteen.
Dear teddy bear,
I'm sorry all the times I've beaten you against the wall, gotten tears all over you, or ripped or injured you.
Sincerely, you're always there for my abuse.
So, when I said I was exhausted from finals all week, what did you think you heard me say?
Sincerely, That was not code for "I want to clean the entire house"
Dear cute guy in my art class,
Remember when you were blow drying your painting with the hair dryer, and I was sitting doing my work? Remember when you pointed the hair dryer at me and my hair was all flowy and I shouted cover girl and posed? You made my day.
Sincerely, I love you so much more now
No, Dear Blank Please Blank is not a website where people post complaints to product makers.
Sincerely, This is Not the Place for Your 7-Page Essay to the Mop Company
Dear teacher who played us a slow science film all class,
thanks for painting the nails of the boys who fell asleep.
Sincerely, the paint changes from clear to red when exposed to light
Dear people who say that "two lefts don't make a right",
Yeah, but three do...
Sincerely, Logic (and Relient K).
Please send my letter again. Dobby intercepted the first one.
Sincerely, Muggle Born
Dear Lesbian Friend,
Of course I don't care what gender you find attractive. Now hold my hand and skip down the halls with me singing Michael Jackson!!
Sincerely, Your sexual orientation doesn't change anything.