Dear first 12 publishing companies,
Bet you regret turning me down now
Dear students asking "When I'm going to use this in my life?",
In your exam next week.
Sincerely, a teacher tired of this question.
Dear people who say YOLO,
Timon and Pumba had their own version of it and theirs sound way cooler
Sincerely, Hukuna Matata means no worries
Dear Teenage girl threatening me in spanish,
I grew up in the New Mexico ghetto. I know what you're saying and I've met 5th graders that were scarier.
Sincerely, the white girl that got to label bloodstains on the Middle School playground.
Why is there a need to distinguish yourselves by skin color? You're all American anyway.
I made a ground breaking discovery.
Sincerely, Who needs auto-tune when you can just sing into a fan?
Dear "real girls have curves",
Sincerely, stick thin girl who's tired of the body bashing
Dear people who want a dislike button,
Think about how you'd feel if someone "disliked" your photo.
Sincerely, I think we're just preventing cyber bullying.
So you broke up with a girl because she was bisexual? And bisexuals are greedy bastards but your friend is one? This is awkward.
Sincerely, your bisexual little sister.
Dear People talking about the person they've been in love with for over a year (without telling them how they feel),
USE. YOUR. WORDS.
Sincerely, Everyone who's sick of your complaining
Why are you always telling girls to stop being sluts? Guys can be sluts too...
Sincerely, double standards much
Please explain how a '1 day sale' can last 48 hours.
That will be $7.50 for a ticket to the previews with a side of movie.
Dear girls who caption their photos "Natural,
I didn't know you were born with black eyeliner on your waterline. Or white eyeshadow near your tear ducts...
Sincerely, a make-up artist in-training
Please keep your end of the bargain. I've let you frolick freely!
Sincerely, how come there are there as many fruit flies around as before?