I feel your pain... No one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
You did what?!?! I said I hate JUICE!
Please do me right now. On the kitchen table. In your bed. On the couch. Shoot, I'll even take the floor in front of the T.V. I don't care, I just need you to do me like I've never been done before.
Sincerely, your homework.
You're bilingual at age 4, and you seriously can't see the orange tree?!
Sincerely, It's right there!
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear idiot down the street,
No one cares if you are the only person in the neighborhood with a 62'' flat screen 3D LED TV. I just had sex with your girlfriend for the 4th time since monday, that's enough hi def entertainment for me. There are some things money can't buy...
Sincerely, the naked guy in your house, on your computer right now.
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States
Dear person who linked me to this site,
Please never send me a link again. I have responsibilities and absolutely no willpower.
Sincerely, I just broke the addiction to MLIA, dangit!
Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.
Sincerely, tired of hearing your religious guff