Dear Sirius Black,
What's your middle name?
Sincerely, I hope it's Lee
The first jockstrap was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for you to realize that the brain is also important.
Sincerely, Oh that's why you need me to make your sandwich
Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well.
I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair.
Dear movie watcher,
Your parents are about to walk in.
Sincerely, the only sex scene in the movie
A couple of lies would take care of that.
Dear Justin Bieber,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Please note that when the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.
Sincerely, J. K. Rowling.
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I don't have time for yours AND mine.
Sincerely, screw the value of X.
I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Franklin D Roosevelt had one of the best economic recoveries of all time. Of all time!
Sincerely, Kanye West
Dear High School Boys,
Your penis is not like Pinocchio's nose - it doesn't get longer every time you lie about its size.
This is why you were in Hufflepuff.
Sincerely, The Sorting Hat
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.