Dear Men,
The first jockstrap was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for you to realize that the brain is also important.
Sincerely, Oh that's why you need me to make your sandwich
Dear Sirius Black,
What's your middle name?
Sincerely, I hope it's Lee
Dear Facebook,
Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well.
Sincerely, Myspace
Dear World,
Sincerely, Ninjas
Dear Fork,
I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair.
Sincerely, Spoon
Dear movie watcher,
Your parents are about to walk in.
Sincerely, the only sex scene in the movie
Dear Voldemort,
A couple of lies would take care of that.
Sincerely, Pinocchio
Dear Justin Bieber,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Please note that when the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.
Sincerely, J. K. Rowling.
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I don't have time for yours AND mine.
Sincerely, screw the value of X.
Dear Obama,
I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Franklin D Roosevelt had one of the best economic recoveries of all time. Of all time!
Sincerely, Kanye West
Dear Edward,
This is why you were in Hufflepuff.
Sincerely, The Sorting Hat
Dear High School Boys,
Your penis is not like Pinocchio's nose - it doesn't get longer every time you lie about its size.
Sincerely, Reality
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely, Jack
Dear idiots,
Please pull your pants up. This style should have died when it started in 1993. Get a job too.
Sincerely, a taxpayer tired of supporting you and your stupid 5 illegitimate children.
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