Dear (360) 553-0049,
This should teach you to prank call me at 3am.
Sincerely, have fun with that.
Dear Twilight fans,
Let's do some math! Harry Potter > Voldemort. Voldemort > Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen. Therefore, Harry Potter > Edward Cullen.
Sincerely, suck on that.
Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of Life' plays.
Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast
If we have to have periods every month, you guys should be kicked in the balls once a month.
You shouldn't be reading this.
Please add an "avoid ghetto" option.
Please give us Heath Ledger back, we'll let you have Robert Pattinson.
We totally agree with you about illegal immigration. Please allow us to show you to the nearest airport.
Sincerely, Native Americans
Dear Taylor Swift,
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
At least wear name tags or something.
Sincerely, The rest of the world
Please tell me how you poop. I have wondered for so long.
Sincerely, a confused fan
Dear People of the World,
I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want.
Dear people who complain about our generation,
Remember who raised us.
Sincerely, your kids
You're doing it wrong.