The first jockstrap was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for you to realize that the brain is also important.
Sincerely, Oh that's why you need me to make your sandwich
Dear Sirius Black,
What's your middle name?
Sincerely, I hope it's Lee
Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well.
I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair.
Dear movie watcher,
Your parents are about to walk in.
Sincerely, the only sex scene in the movie
A couple of lies would take care of that.
Dear Justin Bieber,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Please note that when the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.
Sincerely, J. K. Rowling.