Dear (360) 553-0049,
This should teach you to prank call me at 3am.
Sincerely, have fun with that.
Dear Twilight fans,
Let's do some math! Harry Potter > Voldemort. Voldemort > Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen. Therefore, Harry Potter > Edward Cullen.
Sincerely, suck on that.
Dear Cat,
Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of Life' plays.
Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast
Dear Men,
If we have to have periods every month, you guys should be kicked in the balls once a month.
Sincerely, Women
Dear Amish,
You shouldn't be reading this.
Sincerely, Anonymous
Dear MapQuest,
Please add an "avoid ghetto" option.
Sincerely, Scared
Dear God,
Please give us Heath Ledger back, we'll let you have Robert Pattinson.
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear Americans,
We totally agree with you about illegal immigration. Please allow us to show you to the nearest airport.
Sincerely, Native Americans
Dear Taylor Swift,
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
Sincerely, Shakespeare
Dear CatDog,
Please tell me how you poop. I have wondered for so long.
Sincerely, a confused fan
Dear Asians,
At least wear name tags or something.
Sincerely, The rest of the world
Dear People of the World,
I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want.
Sincerely, Grammar
Dear Edward,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, Dracula
Dear people who complain about our generation,
Remember who raised us.
Sincerely, your kids
Dear Mr. Timberlake,
Sorry, you cannot bring sexy back without proof of purchase.
Sincerely, Wal-Mart
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