Dear Chinese best friend,
I love how you got a tattoo that says "made in China"
Sincerely, you're hilarious
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Sincerely, boom roasted!
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Sincerely, "Hi how are you"
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Sincerely, people of the Muggle world
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Sincerely, I'll pick you up at seven.
Dear people who believe in reincarnation,
Do you put BRB on your headstones instead of RIP?
Sincerely, this is a valid question
Why was it necessary to go to such lengths to make Harry compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament? There much have been easier ways to get him to touch a portkey.
Sincerely, "Hey Harry, will you hold this for me?"
If your pants were up, you might have gotten away.
Sincerely, over-weight cop who caught you tripping
Dear tampon commercials involving women spinning in joyous circles,
I finally understand you.
Sincerely, Pregnancy scare
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
When we accidentally fall asleep or are daydreaming in class, there is no need to point a nerf gun at us...
Sincerely, never looking out the window again
It's a good thing that your name wasn't Harry.
Sincerely, Imagine it... Harry Longbottom
Don't cross the road- you'll never hear the end of it.