Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear "friends",
Are you done being mad at me yet? I did the right thing...
Dear Brutus,
I thought you were exagerating when you said it was going to be a killer party....
Dear "OMG you two would be soo cute together!",
Awkward.
Dear people,
You're riding a horse at full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chased by a lion. What should you do?
Dear Parents,
No, seriously, we're just in my room doing a puzzle...
Dear boyfriend's cute little 2nd grade brother,
I kinda already figured out that your older brother "has a huge crush on me," but thanks for telling me anyways!
Dear "In the event of a fire what steps should you take",
Freakn' large ones.
Dear 16 year old who just got engaged,
LOL.
Dear pot of boiling water,
It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
Dear men,
Please think with the head that has the brain.
Dear band teacher,
Please continue conducting with an elder wand replica.
Dear drunk me,
What made you think that it was a good idea to cover yourself completely in glow-stick chemicals?
Dear money,
Ever heard of asexual reproduction?
Dear chemistry jokes,
You're sodium funny!
Dear kids,
Please be advised that as you grow up, you will discover that we DO still exist, but feel free to use our grown-up name, not cooties.
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