Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear 7th grader who hit on me during 5th period lunch,
I told you I was a teacher. Now do you believe me?
Dear Edward,
Did you ever think that maybe the reason you can't read Bella's thoughts is because SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY?
Dear mom and dad,
I know you hate when I wear super tight skinny jeans because you think they look slutty. But, if I can't get them off, nobody else can either...
Dear tissue box,
Are you mocking my allergies by having a field of flowers on your box?
Dear wizards,
What does spell check mean to you?
Dear world,
Come to the nerdy side...
Dear roommate,
Your face was priceless!
Dear world,
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Dear daughter,
I gave you my old football jersey to wear for "jersey day" at school, but instead you dressed up like a scandalous Oompa Loompa?
Dear Juliet,
Now that's how you fake a death.
Dear auto-correct,
Duck you.
Dear Selena and Justin,
She was a punk, he did ballet, what more can i say?
Dear Asian boyfriend,
When you said "once you go asian you never miss an equation" I fell in love with you.
Dear Medusa,
We just can't see eye to eye.
Dear guy who invited me over to watch a Harry Potter movie,
Oh, you wanted to hook up the whole time?
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