Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
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Dear boyfriend asking me to prove my love,
I shave my legs in the winter for you.
Dear doctor,
Please don't ask me if i'm sexually active in front of my mom...
Dear Students,
You ask how algebra will help you later on in life?
Dear Dad,
Please don't cover my eyes when watching a scene in a movie where there are girls dancing in bras and underwear.
Dear idiot who stole my bag of gummies,
I hope you like extra strength fiber supplements...
Dear nice old lady trying to set me up with her grand daughter,
Yes, she is pretty. Yes, we are close in age. No, I don't have a girl friend. No, thank you, I am not interested in taking her out tonight.
Dear bisexual best friend,
I don't care if you like girls as well as guys, you're my best friend and you always will be.
Dear Urban Outfitters Catalogue,
Who on earth goes hiking in the outdoors while wearing only a skirt, thick heels and a crop top?
Dear Guy who asked my to send him a picture,
Next time be specific.
Dear world,
Remember, math puns are the first sine of madness.
Dear "child proof" packaging,
I hate you.
Dear Sleep,
Where are you? I thought we had plans for tonight? I hope I didnt scare you off when I told you that I loved you...
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear Period,
Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait....
Dear eight year old with an iPad wearing Uggs and texting.,
Nice to see someone else who refuses to act their age.
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