Dear guys everywhere,
No, sir, your balls are not bigger then mine. Mine were so big that they had to be put on my chest to avoid chaffing.
Sincerely, a classy lady.
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
Dear peanut butter and jelly:,
I only use you together, and your jars are the same size. Why don't you run out at the same time?
Sincerely, have you been talking to the shampoo and conditioner?
Dear Once Upon a Time fans,
If loving Prince Charming makes you a Charmer, what does loving Captain Hook make you?
Dear late periods,
OH MY GOD I MIGHT BE CARRYING THE NEXT JESUS
Dear friend who just called Disney lame,
DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW.
Sincerely, Disney fanatic
Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Sincerely, Think about that one!
Please flush! Please flush! PLEASE FLUSH!!!!
Sincerely, at a sleepover.
Thanks for being a girl. I thought I was gay for a while there...
Ark Diary Day 67,
Griffins are freaking delicious
Dear world ,
Please be aware, that, if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, you won't get approximately 9 3/4 of the jokes we make.
Sincerely, See what I did there? Nope? Read Harry Potter.
Dear gullible boys,
I loved seeing your face when I told you girls go to the bathroom together because there are two toilets in a stall and girls don't want to go to the bathroom with a stranger...
Sincerely, Your reaction just made my day.
Please note that the door you just kicked in was locked for your protection, not mine.
Sincerely, the guy calling an ambulance and the police for you
Dear "Do you surf to school?",
That or we ride our pet dolphins.
Sincerely, the Hawaiians