Please elect Trump, we've been trying to destroy your country and culture for years, we can't believe you'll do that yourself for free.
Sincerely, amazed terrorists.
Dear lady who asked me what I'm wearing,
Sincerely, Jake From State Farm
Please leave Costco, we have been here for four hours.
Sincerely, Your son
Dear 120 pound pitbull,
Please stop "sitting" on my lap and then standing directly on my balls. I love ya dude, but I want kids.
Sincerely, possibly sterile
Dear child of mine,
Please let me poop in peace...
Sincerely, your stay at home mom
Dear Donald Trump,
Next time you go for a spray tan, take off the goggles
Sincerely, Just saying
Dear French teacher,
I'm glad you don't make us learn useless sentences like "the dog eats chicken" or "the car is blue", but the sentences you make us learn instead make me question your sanity. Under what circumstances would you need to know the French for "the skeleton is on the roof"?
Sincerely, is that an idiom or are you trolling us?
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dear dear blank please blank,
Please let your site crash so I can finally get back to doing my homework.
Sincerely, it's 4am
Dear Donald Trump,
Please get elected president. I'm so excitied that America will finally crumble into ruin. I cannot wait for the widespread famine, panic, and chaos that will undoubtedly ensue after only a few mere weeks of your utter and complete incompetence. The rioting should be fun, and with any luck I'll get turned to nuclear dust before I'm forced to choose between canibalism or suicide.
Sincerely, Hoping for a no-one-left-to-remember November
Dear Harry Potter,
Turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Proffesor Snape
Dear Leo and his Oscar Jokes,
We'll miss you
Sincerely, the World
Dear Political activist canvasing my neighborhood,
Please understand that while I care about the issues facing our community and would like to make my voice heard, walking into my home unanounced even though the door was unlocked is inapropriate. Proceeding to take offence after I ask you politely to leave is even more unacceptable, especially considering... that I have raging Diarrhea right now.
Sincerely, Get out.
Dear Baby Seal,
So you just walked right into a club?