Dear Fox News,
What does the Fox Say?
Sincerely, You all are ring-a-ding ding dongs.
Dear other melon,
I'm sorry I just can't run away with you and get married.
Dear People who wonder how I had mistaken a wolf for my grandmother,
Please don't underestimate how ugly my grandmother looked. But you are right, I should have realised, the wolf was an improvement more than anything.
Sincerely, Red Riding Hood
Dear Chicken and the Egg,
Does it really matter who came first? Because I win anyway.
Sincerely, The frying pan.
Dear spanish teacher,
I THROW MY SPANISH IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYIN' AYYYY OOOO NO COMPRENDO!
Sincerely, student failing Spanish.
Dear Animal Planet,
Please stop recording us having sex on camera. We don't want to become famous like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. We value our privacy!
Sincerely, The animal kingdom
Dear "I told you I didnt have too many drinks last night! I drove us home!",
Please. I drove while you sat in the passenger seat, steering with a paper plate...
Sincerely, You also thought you were driving a spaceship.
You should have put one of your Horcruxes into my ex-boyfriend's ego.
Sincerely, It is freakin' indestructible!
Never be hot.
Sincerely, the girl responsible for the toilet clog and recovering from Taco Tuesday
I will not apologize for being an asshole to you.
You truly do have a sweet heart.
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Sincerely, Curious Democrat
Dear baby growing in my belly,
I love you more than life itself, but if you don't stop kicking the crap out of me, you're going to be grounded as soon as you come out.
Sincerely, how are you kicking my ribs AND my bladder at the same time?!
Dear drunk man,
You drive me crazy!