Dear "nice" guys who finish last,
Well, at least you finished
Sincerely, Unsatisfied girl
Just because I am American, it does not mean I am fat, stupid, gun-toting, racist, homophobic, or generally ignorant. Please don't hate me for my country's stereotypes.
Sincerely, SLIGHTLY overweight, stupid, gun-toting american.
Dear Girl I am in love with.,
I have raging diarrhea right now.
Sincerely, trying to be more open and honest with you.
The fact that you cover yourselves with icing really says something about your self-esteem.
Please get your butt out of my face.
Sincerely, just because you want to lick it doesn't mean I do.
Please stop suggesting that I should watch Human Centipede. If I wanted to watch someone eating crap I'd go to McDonald's.
Sincerely, annoyed user
If you want me to clean my room, fine. Just don't look in my closet later.
Dear tongue twisters,
My small business has bloomed because of you. Thanks for the publicity
Sincerely, Sally, who sells seashells by the seashore
Dear Three Year Old Brother,
You can't tell me where to hide in a game of hide-and-go-seek especially when you are the seeker.
Sincerely, Your highly amused sister
Dear table of loudly bragging frat boys,
Oh please, give it a rest. Do you see the 40-something gentleman with the gray beard, sitting quietly at the table in the corner? I promise, he got more action this weekend than all of you.
Sincerely, His exhausted and grinning wife
I could use some lemons right now. I'm want to bake a cake.
Sincerely, baker too lazy to go to the store
Dear users of this fine website,
Please understand that, as a moderator, I allow certain posts through that are incredibly stupid or nonsensical at times. Why? Because I can't wait to see what the comments section for those posts will look like.
Sincerely, a moderator.
Please forgive me for last night
Sincerely, the drinks were free
Dear guy in the library,
Please stay the same. Thanks for screaming "Oh no! Dobby's closed the platform! However will we get back to Hogwarts?" when i accidentally ran head first into a wall
Sincerely, you just made my day.