Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Cat,
Your name is oreo. Stop gaining weight or we will have to call you Double Stuff.
Dear my two friends who are twins,
It's awesome that I am the only one that noticed the two of you switched class's for the whole day.
Dear pet,
Please don't take this too hard, but...
Dear Mark Twain,
At the beginning of Huckleberry Finn, you say "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot." My English teacher did all three. Do your worst.
Dear Professor,
Thanks for whistling the death march from Star Wars while handing out our exams.
Dear Social Life,
She's mine. You can have her in two weeks.
Dear pocket,
So, you managed to unlock my 4 digit passcode, go on Doodle Jump and beat my highest score?
Dear friend who broke up with her 48 hour boyfriend,
What happened? "It's a long story..."
Dear Jesus,
If the Holy Spirit lives within us, does that make us your Horcuxes?
Dear homework,
Sometimes, in order to make you seem more interesting, I first sit down and read a few pages of Twilight.
Dear my new puppy,
When I named you 'Dobby' I didn't intend for you to steal all my socks...
Dear homework,
It's too bad my desk came with a spinning chair...
Dear inconsiderate roommate,
If I wake up on my day off to your crappy rap music one more time, guess who's waking up to bagpipes at 7am?
Dear Mom,
What? Was I not supposed to eat these?
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
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