Dear people calling me "cracker",
I prefer saltine American.
You make me so hard.
Please don't back up into your meat grinders.
Sincerely, you might get a little behind in your work.
Please Stop singing "Everyday I'm suffering."
Sincerely, It's "Everyday I'm shuffling!"
Please stop yelling.
I ate a unicorn today. It was tasty.
Dear the middles school couple,
Happy one week anniversery
Sincerely, I honestly thought it wouldn't last
Please call me sword horse from now on.
Sincerely, formerly known to as unicorn
Dear college kid,
Just because you can't dance doesn't mean you shouldn't.
When did "suck" and "blow" stop being opposites?
Sincerely, vacuum cleaners
What did I do to you?
Dear mean person,
Dear Sick Scientist,
If we can't helium, and we can't curium then we gotta burium
Sincerely, stupid but funny chemistry comic on the wall
Please remember that while you are bloated, cramping, and aching all over, we are scared, confused, and running out of places to hide.
Sincerely, Every Husband Who Ever Lived to Talk About It