Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together,
Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll.
Sincerely, know your shit.
Don't worry--gravity works! I was just making sure we didn't all drift off into space.
Sincerely, Girl who just faceplanted in the middle of a busy hallway.
Dear Rachel's boss,
You can't just go around buying people's babies!
Dear Tinder Boys,
Please stop posting pictures of yourselves smoking cigars. It looks like you're sucking on a big fat phallus
Sincerely, Tinder Girls
Troll!!!! Troll in the Dungeon!!! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!!!
Sincerely, thought you ought to know
Dear normally polite well-mannered 5-year-old daughter,
You choose NOW to demonstrate your list of naughty words, scream and cry at the top of your lungs over a perceived slight and make unreasonable demands? Now? While mommy and daddy's friends are over?
Sincerely, Of course it's right now and - Oh look. There are the In-Laws.
Are you wayward?
Sincerely, carry on.
Dear Past Self,
Just because they named the cocktail after you, it doesn't mean you should have drunk twelve.
Sincerely, Present Self
Dear Americans freaking out over Kate and William's baby,
Pretty sure we fought two wars so I don't have to care.
Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street.
Dear equestrian friend,
I don't think the expression "if you fall off, get back on the horse" was meant to be taken so literately and immediately.
Sincerely, we should probably go the hosptial.....
Dear Prince Charming,
My stepsisters were a brunette and redhead. You let them try on the slippers. I'm blond. Good try, but you did know my hair color and that rules out a couple thousand people.
Dear Math teachers that used to tell us "You need to learn how to do this without a calculator because when you're older you won't be carrying around a calculator with you wherever you go",
Sincerely, 90% of this generation has smartphones.
Please be aware 1986 does not fall between 1960 and 1979
Sincerely, Looking for Oldies on the Oldies channel