Trump's middle name is John... DJ Trump in da house.
Sincerely, Hopefully not the White House
Dear people who hate the word "moist",
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist.
Dear "you look so pretty without your glasses",
Well, you look much better when I'm not wearing them too
Sincerely, I'll keep them on, thanks
The year is 1692. It's Summer and the sun is just setting. Let's see how long this takes to get through
Dear grammar police,
Is it incorrect to say my breastfed baby is literally sucking the life out of me?
Please start eating healthier, maybe you'll run faster.
Sincerely, tired of waiting around for you.
Dear Kid who filled up all of the rubber ducks in the pool so they sat at the bottom of it,
Please tell me why
Sincerely, the Lifeguard who has to jump in the pool to pick all of those up at closing
Please give me your chicken. I have been sitting here for 10 minutes with puppy dog eyes waiting for the chicken.
Dear 120 pound pitbull,
Please stop "sitting" on my lap and then standing directly on my balls. I love ya dude, but I want kids.
Sincerely, possibly sterile
Dear French teacher,
I'm glad you don't make us learn useless sentences like "the dog eats chicken" or "the car is blue", but the sentences you make us learn instead make me question your sanity. Under what circumstances would you need to know the French for "the skeleton is on the roof"?
Sincerely, is that an idiom or are you trolling us?
Dear child of mine,
Please let me poop in peace...
Sincerely, your stay at home mom
You sure do fly.
Sincerely, a procrastinator
Please don't take your feet off your desk and sit up every time I walk into your office. If you're not going to do your job, you might as well be comfortable.
Sincerely, your staff
Dear girl who asked me what a VHS is,
I think my heart just died while I tried to explain what it was to you.
Sincerely, feeling rather old all of a sudden.