Dear Chinese best friend,
I love how you got a tattoo that says "made in China"
Sincerely, you're hilarious
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Sincerely, boom roasted!
Why was it necessary to go to such lengths to make Harry compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament? There much have been easier ways to get him to touch a portkey.
Sincerely, "Hey Harry, will you hold this for me?"
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Sincerely, I'll pick you up at seven.
Dear people who believe in reincarnation,
Do you put BRB on your headstones instead of RIP?
Sincerely, this is a valid question
If your pants were up, you might have gotten away.
Sincerely, over-weight cop who caught you tripping
Dear Furbie we just found,
You have been out in the rain for three days and have no batteries. How the hell did you just say "hello" to us?
Sincerely, running away screaming.
Dear tampon commercials involving women spinning in joyous circles,
I finally understand you.
Sincerely, Pregnancy scare
Dear kids that say my parents must be obsessed with Twilight,
I was named Bella after the psycho killer Death Eater Bellatrix, not some muggle pretending to be a vampire.
Sincerely, wait until I tell Voldy...
Dear drunk college guys,
I know my lilac bushes look like the perfect place to take a piss on your way home from the bar. However I've got two words for you: Electric Fence.
Sincerely, I can't wait to see this.
Need an ark?
Sincerely, I Noah guy
That girl you stared at from across the street, slapped your buddy, pointed, then proceded to whistle at. That was me. I dyed my hair. Thanks for the compliment.
Sincerely, bet you want me back now, don't you?
When we accidentally fall asleep or are daydreaming in class, there is no need to point a nerf gun at us...
Sincerely, never looking out the window again
It's a good thing that your name wasn't Harry.
Sincerely, Imagine it... Harry Longbottom