Dear boy who just asked me to sit on his lap,
Boy you ain't no Santa Claus, I don't wanna be yo ho ho ho!
Sincerely, that might have been the cleverest thing I've ever though of on the spot!
Dear men who think women take a long time in the bathroom because they're doing/touching up hair/make-up/etc,
Good, just what we want you to think.
Sincerely, it's actually so you can't tell when we're taking a dump.
Dear French teacher,
"It's a video of France in the modern world, France today." Yeah right.
Sincerely, you're holding a VHS tape.
Your mom thought I was big enough.
That's not all I faked.
Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,
Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!
Sincerely, proud homosexual son.
Dear "which is worse: ignorance or apathy",
I don't know and I don't care.
Sincerely, see what I just did there?
You are the only thing I don't want to do.
Sincerely, hormonal teenage boy.
Dear. people. who. type. like. this. ,
It. doesn't. make. your. point. any. stronger.
Sincerely, it. just. looks. like. your. computer. has. asthma.
6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
Sincerely, Snow White.
Dear Catherine of Aragon,
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no heir.
Sincerely, King Henry VIII.
Ruining good songs was OUR idea!
Sincerely, Kidz Bop.
Dear Coors Light,
If the main attraction to your beer is "it's cold", you are not doing so well.
Sincerely, water is also cold.
Why are all the princesses only 16 in the movies and marry after only a few days of knowing the prince?
Sincerely, this is why we have 16 And Pregnant.