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Dear Readers,
Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to go down on you. And you're gonna love it. But it's only going to be long enough for you to start enjoying it, then I'm going to come back up and screw you, big time.
Dear Person,
You turn me on so much, but whenever you do that you really push my buttons.
Dear Americans,
What the hell is Gatorade??
Dear guy walking down the street,
What do you and Macy's have in common?
Dear guy who discovered milk,
What were you doing to that cow, and why?!
Dear bird,
Thanks. I didn't realise how empty my balcony was without your crap on it.
Dear Forever Alone Guy,
If you are lonely, get a cat.
Dear owner,
Please stop dressing me up in little outfits.
Dear Little Brother,
Please know that I love you unconditionally.
Dear people who say "suck my dick" when they're mad,
Why would you want someone you hate to suck your dick?
Dear World,
Gay means happy, queer means weird, and fag means cigarette.
Dear elevator ,
CLOSE,CLOSE,CLOSE
Dear Fall Out Boy,
What did I do in the dark that your songs know about?
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a daughter.
Dear guys of the world,
Do you not realize that a tailored suit is one of THE most attractive things you could wear?
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