Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear boy who just asked me to sit on his lap,
Boy you ain't no Santa Claus, I don't wanna be yo ho ho ho!
Dear men who think women take a long time in the bathroom because they're doing/touching up hair/make-up/etc,
Good, just what we want you to think.
Dear French teacher,
"It's a video of France in the modern world, France today." Yeah right.
Dear NASA,
Your mom thought I was big enough.
Dear Romeo,
That's not all I faked.
Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,
Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!
Dear "which is worse: ignorance or apathy",
I don't know and I don't care.
Dear homework,
You are the only thing I don't want to do.
Dear. people. who. type. like. this. ,
It. doesn't. make. your. point. any. stronger.
Dear statistics,
6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
Dear Catherine of Aragon,
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no heir.
Dear Glee,
Ruining good songs was OUR idea!
Dear Coors Light,
If the main attraction to your beer is "it's cold", you are not doing so well.
Dear Disney,
Why are all the princesses only 16 in the movies and marry after only a few days of knowing the prince?
Dear world,
Why did the hipster burn his lip while eating pizza?
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