Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too.
Sincerely, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Please salt your sidewalks.
Sincerely, tasted a little bland when I fell
Dear awkward silences,
Sincerely, ...just something to break the ice.
Dear mom who just screwed up my medical form,
So I have asthma bronchitis cancer and I'm pregnant?
Sincerely, 15 year old boy who is confused how he got pregnant
Dear regular people,
Ok, you caught us. We've already invented a flying car. However, we are waiting to release it until you can handle driving on the ground.
I agree. Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Sincerely, and they pee on the seats.
Dear Math Textbook,
"Bob, Horacio, LaQuasha, and Sazuki went to the store...".
Sincerely, gracias for trying, dawg.
Dear male hikers,
While you are still arguing over who gets to put their tent the flat spot, the only girl in the group has set up her tent, cooked her dinner, and is eating it by the fire she built.
Sincerely, I took the flat spot
Dear guys who post pictures of themselves posing in the bathrooms with their abs,
If you're gonna do that, you might want to get rid of the power rangers towel behind you.
Sincerely, the towel is so much cooler than you
Dear boy from my drama club,
You're smart, funny, talented, good-looking, an extremely nice person, and you're single.
Sincerely, Please don't be gay, please don't be gay, please don't be gay...
Is a Dwarf still a human? That's what I thought.
Dear ex boyfriend who gave my number out to people for "free sex",
That's alright, I have your iTunes password ;)
Sincerely, just spent $600 on music :)
Only we are supposed to hook up behind your girlfriend's back.
Dear Ministry of Magic,
If your employees flush themselves to work, what happens if someone actually uses the toilet?
Sincerely, Disturbed Muggle