Are you going to come or should I be calling the Pope....?
Sincerely, A week late and still a Virgin
Please stop trying to make me become a plumber.
Sincerely, Son who's not taking your shit, or plunging it.
Dear people with their pants falling down,
Just say no to crack.
Sincerely, Not even once.
Dear optimist pessimist and realist,
While you guys were arguing about the piece of cake, I ate it.
Dear automatic air fresheners,
Please stop sounding like someone sneezing. And PLEASE do not choose to do it during my midnight snack.
Sincerely, I almost crapped my pants.
Dear 17 year old brother,
Please tell me where you got a baloon at ten fifteen at night and why you felt compelled to give it to me.
Sincerely, sleep deprived, and confused, 20 year old sister.
Dear "big boobs don't count if you're fat",
Big dicks don't count if you are one.
Instead of saying LOL, I'm gunna say SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It's more truthful.
Sincerely, this site still makes my day better
It's called a sports bra
Sincerely, my boobs are the same size as yesterday
If your gonna brag about your mad video game skills, make sure your girlfriend doesn't live in a house full of guys
Sincerely, your loving girlfriend who just kick your ass in Halo, C.O.D. , and Borderlands 2
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Sincerely, But three lefts do!
Dear gym students,
Why am I making YOU run? So you don't end up like me...
Sincerely, fat gym coach
Would you rather have a newspaper or flyswatter?
They like me better.