Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear my two friends who are twins,
It's awesome that I am the only one that noticed the two of you switched class's for the whole day.
Dear pet,
Please don't take this too hard, but...
Dear Social Life,
She's mine. You can have her in two weeks.
Dear my new puppy,
When I named you 'Dobby' I didn't intend for you to steal all my socks...
Dear pocket,
So, you managed to unlock my 4 digit passcode, go on Doodle Jump and beat my highest score?
Dear friend who broke up with her 48 hour boyfriend,
What happened? "It's a long story..."
Dear Jesus,
If the Holy Spirit lives within us, does that make us your Horcuxes?
Dear homework,
It's too bad my desk came with a spinning chair...
Dear radio stations,
It would take 6.5 days to listen to all the music in my iTunes library, yet you manage to play the same song twice in 10 minutes.
Dear person who just tweeted "if u cud recomend a book 4 me wat wud it b?",
It would be a dictionary.
Dear teachers,
You know you're giving too much homework when the passenger seat belt light goes on because my backpack weighs as much as a person.
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear World,
I told a chemistry joke once...
Dear ignorant people,
Please keep asking me if I'm Asian or Chinese. I laugh at your astounded looks when I say "BOTH!"
Dear inconsiderate roommate,
If I wake up on my day off to your crappy rap music one more time, guess who's waking up to bagpipes at 7am?
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