Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear boyfriend asking me to prove my love,
I shave my legs in the winter for you.
Dear Dad,
Please don't cover my eyes when watching a scene in a movie where there are girls dancing in bras and underwear.
Dear idiot who stole my bag of gummies,
I hope you like extra strength fiber supplements...
Dear Urban Outfitters Catalogue,
Who on earth goes hiking in the outdoors while wearing only a skirt, thick heels and a crop top?
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear world,
Remember, math puns are the first sine of madness.
Dear Sleep,
Where are you? I thought we had plans for tonight? I hope I didnt scare you off when I told you that I loved you...
Dear Period,
Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait....
Dear world,
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Dear people giving me judging stares,
Yes I am 14 with 1 year old twins, I support myself by whoring around on street corners and make all of my purchases at dollar stores and walmart
Dear Mum and Dad,
You are both white, I am at least part Asian. Please understand, I have known for a while. It's not that shocking.
Dear girl wearing a mini dress and 5 inch heels that just wiped out on the sidewalk,
It's Minnesota, in winter. There's ice
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear grandpa,
Please continue being cute with your age
Dear Voldemort,
You should've made your nose a horcrux.
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