Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear better than the leading brand,
Then why aren't you the leading brand?
Dear Brutus,
I thought you were exagerating when you said it was going to be a killer party....
Dear "friends",
Are you done being mad at me yet? I did the right thing...
Dear people,
You're riding a horse at full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chased by a lion. What should you do?
Dear "OMG you two would be soo cute together!",
Awkward.
Dear Parents,
No, seriously, we're just in my room doing a puzzle...
Dear boyfriend's cute little 2nd grade brother,
I kinda already figured out that your older brother "has a huge crush on me," but thanks for telling me anyways!
Dear 16 year old who just got engaged,
LOL.
Dear pot of boiling water,
It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
Dear "In the event of a fire what steps should you take",
Freakn' large ones.
Dear textbook writers,
No, adding an exclamation point the end of a sentence doesn't make the content any more exciting or interesting.
Dear band teacher,
Please continue conducting with an elder wand replica.
Dear chemistry jokes,
You're sodium funny!
Dear kids,
Please be advised that as you grow up, you will discover that we DO still exist, but feel free to use our grown-up name, not cooties.
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