Please rethink what you you just said.
Sincerely, "No dating until you're married"
Please stop with the German jokes.
Sincerely, they're the wurst.
Dear gay choir director,
We love you, but when you say "give me a big hard D" just let the laughter happen
Sincerely, your adoring and immature high school students
Dear guy sitting next to me,
I can see you cheating off my answers on the test
Sincerely, jokes on you, I didn't study either
Why WOULDN'T I touch the butt? Butts are great!
Please don't ask me where your X is. She's not coming back.
Sincerely, and don't ask Y either.
I've changed my iPod's name to Titanic, and it's syncing now.
Sincerely, please help!
I'll freeze over if you guys start flying. Join me, and together we can watch the world burn!
Dear people that check behind the shower curtain for murderers,
what are you going to do when you find one?
Sincerely, I check with a baseball bat
Sincerely, initials of BS
Trying to be a Jedi, I am. Appreciate it if you'd stop interrupting me, I would.
Sincerely, The Next Female Jedi.
Dear daywalkers and the rest of the human race,
Please note that I have recently acquired a soul. If you find that yours is missing, do not panic. I have done you a favor as you will now survive the impending zombie apocalypse unlike the mortals. You're very welcome.
Sincerely, a ginger.
Please keep trying to catch the fog. Really.
Sincerely, it's funny when you mist.
Dear textbook word problems,
Please stop trying to make everything sound all diverse and all-inclusive. It's not working.
Sincerely, "LaToya, Heidi, Suzuki, Josefina and Joe went out for lunch..."