Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear teachers,
The only thing I learn from "group work," is how stupid other people have the potential to be.
Dear organism and orgasm,
Why must you sound so similar?
Dear history teacher,
Someone forgot to warn you not to say, "Let's get down to business." before teaching us about China.
Dear world,
Grammar is the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse.
Dear J.K. Rowling,
You actually showed what real teenagers do...
Dear boys,
So you can write your name in the snow, but you can't aim into that huge hole in the toilet?
Dear person who said "The freaks come out at night",
Uh, have you EVER been to Walmart during the day?
Dear girl who walked directly into a mirror than apologized for bumping into the reflection,
That was the greatest thing I have ever seen. thanks for making my day.
Dear "Christopher Columbus didn't need directions" Argument,
Christopher Columbus also thought that he was in India.
Dear tough guy that isn't afraid of anything,
Boo!!
Dear Chinese guy in the seat next to me,
I like your tattoo.
Dear popular senior,
Thank you for yelling "Ten points for Gryffindor!" when you noticed my scarf.
Dear parents,
Whenever we say it's we're full that means our dinner stomach, not our dessert stomach
Dear Hollywood,
Stars are massive balls of fire that eventually explode and die, taking anything and everything with them, so why do you call celebritie-
Dear people who say "But women have given birth naturally for thousands of years",
Annndd millions of them died doing it.
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