Dear guys on tinder,
Pics of you with your arm around a girl does not exactly help your chances.
Sincerely, girls on tinder
Dear guys who tell me they "like less makeup",
Please wear less makeup then.
Sincerely, Why are you telling me this anyway?
You know what the best way to pass a drug test is? Don't do drugs.
Dear slow walkers in the hall,
Natural selection, natural selection...
Sincerely, frustrated girl stuck behind you 10 minutes late to class
Dear person who first ate an egg,
Who eats something that comes out of a chickens ass
Sincerely, confused and disturbed person
We Know you aren't all fat, but I'm pretty sure you know all of us don't play hockey or say eh after every sentence.
You being a vegan is admirable. You snidely berating our customers for eating meat is not. You are the idiot who chose to get a job at Burger King.
Sincerely, no wonder you aren't being promoted.
Please try not to be offended when I giggle about the name..
Sincerely, "The Battle of the Bulge.
You may identify as male, but you are still biologically female, so no, I'm not being bigoted when I can't sign you up for a prostate exam. The system will literally not allow me to.
Sincerely, the "bitch" receptionist
Please I give up you can have peach it's been 30 years I'm tired
Please stop calling us Grammar Nazis. We haven't killed millions of people; we just correct spoken and written language.
Sincerely, misspellings give me the heebie-jeebies
Dear toilet company's ,
Please make it so your toilets have a silent flush between the hours of 8pm and 8am
Sincerely, shhhh, shhhh, SHHHHH
Dear Mother Nature,
Snow, rain, ice, slush, lightning, and thunder storm? Bitchy much?
Sincerely, Is it finally your turn to be on your period?
Getting lost on the day that I have a speech to present and am performing with my choir was not very considerate!
Sincerely, I sounded like Donald Duck singing the Hallelujah Chorus