Dear athletes ,
Well they never named any candy after you...
Sincerely, smarties, dumdums, and nerds
Dear Math Teacher,
Please stop playing the Titanic theme song during our tests
Sincerely, it's not funny
When you die will you tomb stone say Will.i.was?
Dear Burger King,
You have a daughter. Her name is Wendy.
Sincerely, Dairy Queen
Dear totally perfect guy I only met once,
I have spent hours on facebook typing in every possible spelling of your first, last, and even middle name, found your school on google maps, traced bus routes to that school, and still, nothing. Congratulations, you are totally unstalkable.
Sincerely, It's like hot-guy-Where's-Waldo
If I can light a campfire underwater, I'm sure Adele can set fire to rain.
Dear monsters inc.,
mike and sully live together, adopted a human, and came out of the closet
Sincerely, draw your own conclusions...
Dear Apple company,
When I typed in "Voldemort" spellcheck changed it to "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"...
Sincerely, You've just made my week
Please continue to glare at me through the window just because we are closed.
Sincerely, I find your anger hilarious
Please tell me how when we were both locked out you were still able to get back in the house.
Sincerely, we don't even have a cat door
How did you manage to lift up my boob, and bite me?
Sincerely, This is a bloody awkward place to itch!
Dear mean girls,
It's not that I hate you....I just hope you start your next period in a shark tank.
Dear girl with a flashlight shopping at Abercrombie,
You made my day
Dear young girls walking in a row at the mall looking down at their phones,
Sincerely, yes, I could have warned you sooner but I enjoyed watching you walk into that bench.