Dear eight year old with an iPad wearing Uggs and texting.,
Nice to see someone else who refuses to act their age.
Sincerely, eighteen year old with a coloring book taking a nap and checking on my Tamagatchi.
Dear people giving me judging stares,
Yes I am 14 with 1 year old twins, I support myself by whoring around on street corners and make all of my purchases at dollar stores and walmart
Sincerely, just kidding I'm babysitting
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Sincerely, it makes the situation 10x better, I assure you
Dear girl wearing a mini dress and 5 inch heels that just wiped out on the sidewalk,
It's Minnesota, in winter. There's ice
Sincerely, did you forget?
Dear Mum and Dad,
You are both white, I am at least part Asian. Please understand, I have known for a while. It's not that shocking.
Sincerely, just told I was adopted
Please continue being cute with your age
Sincerely, "what is that?!" me: lady gaga " you mean that thing is a person?!"
Please stop referring to the act of downloading stuff illegally as piracy, it's only making me want to do it so I can be called a pirate.
Dear math teacher,
well this is awkward.
Sincerely, you added up my points wrong.
You should've made your nose a horcrux.
Sincerely, Harry would've never found it
Dear obnoxious people,,
"Why, yes I am 15. Yes, I am the pastors daughter. And, yes, this is my baby."
Sincerely, not really, I just wanted to see the look on your stupid face.
Dear history teacher who told a kid in my class to stop making fun of mormons because "You wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your religion,
He is mormon.
Sincerely, totally made my day
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Sincerely, Just saying
We have contacted the humans, but they think it's dubstep.
All our lives we are led up to believe that you are this great and cultured poet. Then we read the first scene of Romeo and Juliet and you are telling sex jokes.
Sincerely, But You Make It Sound So Serious...