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Dear people at NASA,
Do you ever say "It's not rocket science!" to your coworkers?
Dear people who say that Mean Girls is the most quotable movie ever,
You obviously have never seen The Princess Bride.
Dear Ceiling Fan,
Was it really necessary to decapitate the Angel?
Dear people who like nerdy jokes,
The past, present, and future walk into a bar...
Dear nursery rhymer,
Jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, jack fell down and broke his crown....
Dear "God created Adam and eve, not Adam and Steve",
God created you too Steve. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
Dear America,
You know obesity is a problem when the scariest thing is called slender man
Dear hipsters,
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Dear Seniors,
Freshmen are friends, not food.
Dear twilight fans,
I saw a man with a shirt that said, "team: guy who almost nailed bella with a car."
Dear world,
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarhea, does that mean 1 out of 5 enjoy it?
Dear paranoid lady down the street,
No, my freckles are not there to keep track of all my visits with Satan.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear Will.I.Am,
Please name your son Sam.
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