Dear woman plopping some bombs in the stall next to me,
Sincerely, girl loudly crinkling her plastic shopping bag.
Dear friend I walked in the bush with,
You were wearing shorts and a tank top. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans. Neither of us had insect repellent, and you complained you were itchy.
Sincerely, but how the heck do you end up with 3 mosquito bites while I've got over 40?!
Dear nerf gun,
I KNEW there was a reason I practiced with you so much
Sincerely, hit and killed the spider in three tries
Relax, the gays don't want to marry you.
Sincerely, out and proud lesbian
Ever wonder how long it takes for a submission to be posted? It's currently 11:00 pm GMT (London) on July 13th, 2013. Behold.
Sincerely, I was curious, you probably were too
I don't have several personality disorders, I don't suffer from extreme delusions and I'm not paranoid. I'm just screwing with your head, and THAT, my dear Watson, is my actual problem.
Sincerely, a pathological liar
Dear Gamer girls,
Please Imagine you're in a supermarket, and a guy walks up to you and says, "Hi, I'm a guy who can cook!", then goes on to brag about how he can make mac & cheese, instant noodles, and microwave pies.
Sincerely, That's what you sound like.
Please don't tell me things that I don't want to know. Such as that my Great Grandma died my bed.
Sincerely, I'll take the couch
Dear Mapquest Users,
Please Stop... Just stop...
Sincerely, Google Maps
Dear "you're culturally appropriative",
Yes, 50% of my diet is Chinese food, and I picked up certain Cantonese phrases (mainly swear words) that I use on a daily basis. I work in a Chinese restaurant, you twat, what did you expect?
Sincerely, a white girl just trying to get by
Please vote for Donald Trump.
Sincerely, he's the only one who can make America great again.
I thought you said that music was your life and I was the melody? Did you skip a beat because suddenly I'm not with you.
Sincerely, Your ex
Dear Old Woman at the Mall,
Please stop yelling at me for having a baby so young, It is a robot baby that I was assigned to for a school project. I didn't ruin my life, my teacher ruined my weekend.
Sincerely, the poor 16 year old you you yelled at for 20 minutes straight
Dear annoying girl in my class,
Please shut up. I don't care that you think that I 'could have killed you'. I accidentally threw a baseball near your ankle. It really wasn't necessary to threaten to throw a shotput at my head.
Sincerely, the girl who apologized.