Dear people at NASA,
Do you ever say "It's not rocket science!" to your coworkers?
Sincerely, I would.
Dear people who say that Mean Girls is the most quotable movie ever,
You obviously have never seen The Princess Bride.
Sincerely, Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Dear Ceiling Fan,
Was it really necessary to decapitate the Angel?
Sincerely, Our Christmas tree looks like a crime scene
Dear people who like nerdy jokes,
The past, present, and future walk into a bar...
Sincerely, it was tense
Dear nursery rhymer,
Jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, jack fell down and broke his crown....
Sincerely, AND NOW HES LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND
Dear "God created Adam and eve, not Adam and Steve",
God created you too Steve. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
You know obesity is a problem when the scariest thing is called slender man
Sincerely, Will Ferrell
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Sincerely, but everything else was made in china
Freshmen are friends, not food.
Sincerely, you were a freshie once too
Dear twilight fans,
I saw a man with a shirt that said, "team: guy who almost nailed bella with a car."
Sincerely, he is my new best friend.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarhea, does that mean 1 out of 5 enjoy it?
Dear paranoid lady down the street,
No, my freckles are not there to keep track of all my visits with Satan.
Sincerely, why would you even say that?
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Sincerely, people of the Muggle world
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?