SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear phone,
Why didn't you make me pancakes? You asked for a command, and I gave you one.
Dear Sleep,
I'm sorry we haven't been seeing much of each other lately. The truth is . . . well, I've found someone else.
Dear Americans,
We have a saying that goes, "If someone talks to you on the streets, he's either drunk, insane, or American."
Dear life,
I've got those lemons you wanted.
Dear People who say im to old to watch disney movies,
Bibbity Boppity piss off!
Dear x,
Found you, bitch.
Dear teenagers who complain about the friend zone,
You know nothing of the friend zone!
Dear Calvin Klein clothing line,
Please I find it funny that you have have a brand of underwear, considering "Klein" means "small" in German.
Dear sleep,
I'm sorry but we just never have time for each other anymore.
Dear Men,
Fun Fact: Women can reproduce using another woman's spinal fluid, creating only female babies. We could just eat you all and move on with our lives.
Dear Me,
Please stop to think you can do everything on your own and better than professionals. Especially cut your own hair.
Dear Dobby,
While I appreciate the gesture to clean my room, your love of socks is now out of hand.
Dear menstrual cycle monthly,
I would like to unsubscribe from you.
Dear diary,
Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnappyed by hillfolk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever!
Dear friend,
On the "Which Harry Potter Character are You" quiz I got Neville Longbottom and you got Draco Malfoy. On the "Game of Thrones" quiz I got Ned Stark and you got Joffrey. Should I be concerned?
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