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ALL TIME
Dear textbook word problems,
Please stop trying to make everything sound all diverse and all-inclusive. It's not working.
Dear Blind people,
Why do you walk your dogs soo much.
Dear shower water,
Please decide between the Artic ocean and Satan's butthole.
Dear Ice Cream Truck Driver,
Please, WAIT!!!!!!
Dear Turtles,
Please slow down! Do you want to get us killed!?
Dear foreigners,
The cool kids don't ride kangaroos to school, they ride emus
Dear Newly Rescued Dog,
You are not a goat. Stop chewing on everything.
Dear Americans still waiting for their Hogwarts acceptance letters,
Please note that to get from Hogwarts to America, the owls have to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. Clearly, they all get lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Dear Mother who is making me go out for a sport next year,
NOOOO!!!! I don't wanna! I'm fat and lazy and anti-social and I hate running....Oh wait, chocolate you say? and a spa gift card?
Dear Vernon Dursley,
Please dry up, you great prune.
Dear Smurfs,
What color do you turn when you're angry?
Dear Slow Drivers on the Highway During Rush Hour,
I have a special place reserved for you.
Dear Math,
Please give up on finding your X! She's moved on!
Dear people staring at me,
Please stop. I have to wear this "school girl" outfit. I didn't choose to wear a plaid skirt and Oxford shirt. I go to a Christian Academy
Dear Juliet,
Oh, so this stranger you don't know, the one you made out with at a party earlier, randomly shows up IN YOUR GARDEN in the middle of the night, UNDER YOUR WINDOW? And then you agreed to MARRY HIM?
THIS IS PAGE 2
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