Dear kids that say my parents must be obsessed with Twilight,
I was named Bella after the psycho killer Death Eater Bellatrix, not some muggle pretending to be a vampire.
Sincerely, wait until I tell Voldy...
We like you for your brains. Not your bodies.
Don't cross the road- you'll never hear the end of it.
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Sincerely, you forgot to flush.
Dear Nerdy Husband,
You're lucky I love you...
Sincerely, Now the proud owner of a Princess Leia slave costume...
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
That girl you stared at from across the street, slapped your buddy, pointed, then proceded to whistle at. That was me. I dyed my hair. Thanks for the compliment.
Sincerely, bet you want me back now, don't you?
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
Today, I successfully said "Pika" before sneezing.
Dear drunk college guys,
I know my lilac bushes look like the perfect place to take a piss on your way home from the bar. However I've got two words for you: Electric Fence.
Sincerely, I can't wait to see this.
I Get So Hard For You.
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Sincerely, your immature students.