Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear parents,
Please think about initials before you name your child
Dear Donald Trump,
I am really, really, really, really proud of you.
Dear foreign host family,
Really, I promise, the problem is not that I can't hear you, it's that I can't understand you.
Dear Rose,
If you had gotten on that life boat, I could have survived on the door. OH and we still have to talk about that "I promise I won't let you go" situation...
Dear Golfers,
A baseball player can hit a 90 mph ball in a screaming stadium, but you can't hit a ball that isn't even moving unless it's totally quiet?
Dear "my printer broke",
You didn't even read the assignment?
Dear parents,
Thanks for going out tonight.
Dear cricket outside my window,
It's 3 in the morning. If you haven't gotten any cricket bootie by now, it's probably not going to happen.
Dear parents,
It's OK. I already gave them "the talk."
Dear easy open tab,
Is that sarcasm?
Dear parrot who whistled at me when I woke up this morning,
I looked horrible, but thanks for the ego boost!
Dear boss at Old Navy,
Please don't make me dress and undress the store's mannequins during the busiest time of the day.
Dear Teacher who says "Anything that fits on one sheet of paper" for our psychology exam,
My friend (the 4th year Psych major) will be standing on a sheet of paper next to me.
Dear over-protective parents,
You really should have thought it through when you said "No boys in the room!"
Dear Facebook,
Please make an "in a relationship with a fictional character" option.
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