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Dear food labels ,
Serving size is 1/4 of a cookie? Who the heck eats 1/4 of a cookie?!
Dear Harry Potter,
Your mom died trying to protect you, too? We should be friends!
Dear boyfriend,
You're eighteen, and still cover your eyes during kiss scenes?
Dear math class,
You are the only place where I can buy 25 chocolate bars and not be questioned.
Dear girl in my class who constantly brags about being vegetarian,
It must have been awkward for you when we made eye contact at Applebee's while you were eating your steak.
Dear curious people,
Yeah, I do shampoo it... condition too.
Dear early bird,
Go ahead and have your worm. By the time I wake up, the bacon should be ready.
Dear Harry and Ron,
"Follow the spiders?" Ha. Too bad you didn't follow us to our secret cave filled with ready-to-destroy horcruxes.
Dear hand sanitizer,
You smell grea-
Dear people who say "hate is such a strong word",
Fine, I strongly dislike that person with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns.
Dear Mom,
Please realize LOL doesn't mean Lots of Love.
Dear people who think honors students do their homework weeks in advance,
We are procrastinators just like you, we just know how to get it done correctly.
Dear world,
My daughter starts driving on December 21, 2012....
Dear kids who snuck in and jumped in my pool last night,
Next time, you might want to do it in the day time.
Dear hot guy who's jacket I just gave back,
Of course I didn't spray my perfume on it so you would think about me...
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