Please return my invisibility cloak. This prank on the muggles has gone on long enough.
Dear National Geographic article about hippos eating people,
I THOUGHT THEY ONLY ATE WHITE MARBLES!!!!
Sincerely, terrified reader.
Dear donut on my counter,
I must not eat you, I must not eat you, I must not eat you, I must not eat you,I must not eat you, I must not eat you, I must not eat you, I must not eat you, I must not eat you, I muff nuut et uu.
Sincerely, awww DANG!
Dear leg hair,
Dear beer belly ,
Bet you wish you had a six pack, huh?
Sincerely, well you did, but you drank it all.
You remind me of basketball.
Sincerely, you're round and orange.
Dear people who say "screw you",
Don't you threaten me with a good time!
Sincerely, didn't see that coming did you?
Dear 10 page paper,
He's just not that into you.
Dear "Age doesn't matter",
Yes It does.
Dear Charlie Brown,
Wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wuwaaaaaaaaaaaa, wuwuwu wua wuwua.
Sincerely, your teacher.
Dear person who told me their friend got knifed,
That's forked up!
Sincerely, too spoon?
What do you call your nice dinner plates?
Dear people trying to make a point,
Sincerely, I just made three. What now?
Why was it necessary to go to such lengths to make Harry compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament? There much have been easier ways to get him to touch a horcrux.
Sincerely, "Hey Harry, will you hold this for me?"
Dear roommate's parents,
Sorry about your daughter's crucifixes and pink unicorns being in such sharp contrast to my phallic Andy Warhol art, foreign vodka advertisements and pictures of Lady Gaga in her underwear.
Sincerely, this is awkward.