I named you, Titanic.
Sincerely, syncing you now...
Dear middle schools that start with "P",
So your schools initials are PMS? And your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Sincerely, that's just awkward...
Dear people arguing that you can't protect yourself from a rock with a piece of paper,
Mythbusters proved that you can bulletproof your car with telephone books.
Sincerely, paper wins.
Dear Charles Dickens,
It was the best of moods. It was the worst of moods.
No matter what you hear, we had nothing to do with your mother getting pregnant.
Sincerely, the birds and the bees.
Why do you all think that French food is so romantic?
Sincerely, nothing says romance like frog legs and snails...
Dear Twilight fans,
The closest thing we have to vampires here are mosquitoes.
Sincerely, Forks, WA.
You've made me cough so hard my abs are starting to hurt.
Sincerely, does that count as a workout?
Oh, the whore-or!
Sincerely, get it?
Dear textbook that was wrapped in bubble wrap,
Well it looks like I won't be studying anytime soon.
Sincerely, amused college student.
Thank you for picking up our newborn and holding him up in the air as the Lion King played on television.
Sincerely, I will never regret marrying you.
Dear John Milton,
So, you wrote Paradise Lost. Then your wife died, and you wrote Paradise Regained.
Sincerely, hmmm, we might be on to something here...
No you were right, taste buds are so over-rated.
Sincerely, hot soup.