Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear people everywhere,
How would you like it if I turned you on and left?
Dear Adele,
I believe I am the only one who can set fire to the rain.
Dear reader,
Did you hear that joke about the window that you couldn't see through?
Dear books,
Unlike you, no one reads me, so don't expect to win this poker game.
Dear "there's no 'i' in team",
There's an 'i' in win.
Dear cat,
Please get off my alsfuhnkjwergdfs93q5555555539392i keyboard.
Dear girl who just asked me "don't you hate it when you cut yourself while shaving your legs?",
No, I love when it happens, it really brings joy to my day.
Dear vegetarians,
Gee, thanks. Since when am I not an animal?
Dear cast of Jersey Shore,
Just get off TV before you make yourselves look like idiots.
Dear robber,
Please don't steal people's money that's our job!
Dear freshmen,
Are you getting shorter?
Dear Luke,
I AM YOUR FATHER...
Dear friend,
No, the fact that your vacuum is broken doesn't suck, it blows.
Dear boyfriend,
I have seen your girlfriend in the shower!
THIS IS PAGE 3
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