If you have 99 problems, you may need to consider getting a therapist.
Sincerely, someone who has two maybe three problems in their lfie
Dear Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
Your commercials make me want to buy your cereal less.
Sincerely, I don't want cannibalistic cereal
Winners do use drugs. Lance Armstrong, Michael Phelps, and Charlie Sheen... You're going to have to think of some other way to keep us from using drugs.
Sincerely, your experimental students
Dear girls who say the best guys are always gay,
Why do I always go for the straight guys then.
Sincerely, one of the gays.
Dear hungry humans,
I give you aspara-piss!
Dear straight boys,
Please realize that I don't find you attractive, just because I am gay.
Sincerely, a gay guy with standards
Please don't tell me that I am too old to have an imaginary friend. You are almost 50 and you have one too! God is not real...
Sincerely, your annoyed daughter
Dear Taylor Swift,
With that kind of dating history, have you ever thought that the problem might lie within you?
Sincerely, a good girlfriend
Dear Sophia Vergara,
Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap.
Sincerely, I need a tissue.
Dear Mother Nature,
I think you are going through menopause.
Sincerely, snowing in October
Please come out already!
Dear Psychology majors,
If you want to know about the brain, study Neuroscience.
Sincerely, someone who is actually studying science
Dear Girl Scouts,
Stop trying to sucker me into buying your over-priced, mediocre cookies!
Sincerely, you make me feel so guilty for saying "no"
Next time shoot us both.
Sincerely, One sided love is no fun