Dear Aloe Vera,
I want you all over my body.
Dear "Your connection cannot be found",
"Please visit the following website for further assistance".
Writing whole albums about boys who break hearts is kinda my thing....
Sincerely, Taylor Swift.
How do you even get your bra ON?
Sincerely, confused boyfriend.
Dear movie makers,
Now that you've done sparkling vampires, time to do glow-in-the-dark zombies.
Sincerely, it only makes sense...
How did you get under my bed exactly?
Sincerely, what happened last night?
Dear William and Kate,
If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, will your son be the Half-Blood Prince?
If women were in charge, there wouldn't be wars. Just a bunch of countries not speaking to each other.
I'm 15, female and hormones are raging through my body. You're 26, male and very very very good looking. So please don't come so close to me while trying to explain something. I won't understand a single word. However, I will drool.
Sincerely, your (failing) student.
Dear iTunes ,
Really? $1.29? What's the extra .29 for? Shipping and handling?
Sincerely, a questioning customer.
Dear Psychology class,
Thanks for the tips.
Sincerely, using operant conditioning on my roommates.
Dear girls who use the period excuse every gym class,
I think you need to see a doctor if you have your period this much.
Sincerely, even as a male gym teacher, I had to take a few classes about the body.
Dear couple in line at Walmart,
Don't you think you should of bought the condoms first?
Sincerely, laughing at the pregnancy test hiding under the box of condoms.
Dear people of America,
I am a white, straight, gun-owning, conservative male.
Sincerely, how else can I piss you off today?