SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Pot,
That's offensive.
Dear Anti-Vaxxers,
Thank you for doing your part to curb overpopulation.
Dear People Who Type Like This,
I Don't See The Appeal. No Seriously. This Is So Time Consuming Why Do People Even Do This What The Heck...
Dear Random gust of wind,
Please stop being a jerk
Dear "pick up to closest book and turn to page 45",
The firs complete sentance will describe your sex life
Dear pirates who kidnapped me for ransom,
Please know I enjoyed my time with you, am glad you took my advice of more than doubling my ransom (what you demanded hardly matched my worth), respect you for holding up your bargain upon being paid the aforementioned ransom, and hope there are no hard feelings with me honoring my promise to return to execute each and every one of you
Dear Geometry Teacher,
Please stop saying "So Basically." I counted this week and you set a record of saying it 126 times in an hour and a half period
Dear Americans,
Yes, we do imitate American accents for fun.
Dear Guy Eating Doritos In Class,
Please stop. I like Doritos as much as the next guy but the moaning noise is a bit unnecessary.
Dear English Language,
So you mean to tell me that drew, threw, dew, and Jew all rhyme with to, but go, no, so, and ho all rhyme with sew?
Dear automatic toilet,
Please stop flushing
Dear friends,
Thank you for changing all my contacts to Harry Potter characters.
Dear People,
What do you get when you mix an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?
Dear world,
So, uh, what was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
Dear cats,
Please understand that my homework, binders, keyboards, and piles of freshly cleaned WHITE towels are not mattresses. Also understand that my pen, phone, keychains, and bare toes are not chew toys. And my backpack is not a bathroom.
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