SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Vinegar,
I'm the reason anybody actually likes you.
Dear Chips in the bowl across the couch,
I could totally use some go go gadget arms right now...
Dear people staring at me,
Please stop staring. Can you not tell it's a fake baby?! Are people really this stupid?
Dear girls complaining about cramps,
It's ok. I'm here for you.
Dear Rihanna,
Please leave the diamonds to me
Dear 'Friendzoned',
I put you there for a reason.
Dear customer,
My condolences on the fact that you have terminal cancer (and may I say you look, and sound, very healthy for being in Stage Four). However, the fact that you "don't have long" to enjoy these video games doesn't qualify you to pay even less for them than you already are. You don't have long to enjoy your money, either, so you might as well hand the requiste amount over to us to pay for those games you so dearly want.
Dear US government,
I delivered one biological child without any drugs or interventions, and I adopted two children internationally. The latter process was by far more painful. Can I get an epidural for all your PAPERWORK?
Dear everyone,
There's a law in Germany regarding beef. It's called: Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
Dear person saying "I can't even do that sober" to a cop,
You just admitted you weren't sober...
Dear Internet,
Please realize stereotypes are there for a reason
Dear Self,
Please stop arguing with idiots on the internet. You know it only ever pisses you off.
Dear writers of Singing in the Rain,
I love this movie, but I'm pretty sure wearing tap shoes outside in the rain is bad for them.
Dear life ,
Why can't you have background music?
Dear Bing,
At least We Have Doodles
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