Dear student who tried the "My dog ate my homework" excuse,,
...the assignment was to submit an essay online...
Sincerely, skeptical teacher.
Dear friends who say I'm a good singer,
Please stop. I recorded my self and replayed it.
Sincerely, I sound like a dying animal.
Dear online website that asked if I was human,
What do you think I am?
Sincerely, a tiger with thumbs
Dear girls ,
Please stop giving us "hints" if you like us, just tell us please. We're stupid
Sincerely, confused boys
Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Sincerely, put it on.
Dear long blonde hair on my shower wall,
I'm a brunette with a pixie cut and I live alone...
Why thank you, I am very ingenious and am going to rule the technological world because I knew how to fix your computer.
Sincerely, but seriously, I just pressed the power button...
Dear past self,
Please remember to put toilet paper in the bathroom after you use the last of it.
Sincerely, it's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now...
Dear person who said "can the sarcasm",,
Please. I use fresh sarcasm. Never canned.
Sincerely, can't beat a smartass.
Dear math textbooks,
Please continue to attempt to seem racially diverse.
Sincerely, Rahashid, Mei-Lin, Leteesha and James.
Dear Christian school,
You're saying tank tops aren't allowed because they're a distraction to boys?
Sincerely, are my shoulders that sexy?
Dear guy shopping with your girlfriend,
I saw that look you gave my girlfriend when she started talking about her bedazzled nerf gun.
Sincerely, you jelly?
Dear freshmen boys trying to grow a moustache,
Sorry, but um... You have a little bit of dirt... Yeah right there.
Sincerely, very amused junior girl
Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.
Sincerely, you strip in front of 20 guys while I'm backstage with 30 girls.
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Sincerely, Ginger with no soul