SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear bald people,
Do you use shampoo or body wash?
Dear person in my class,
Did you seriously just ask in Franklin Roosevelt was still alive
Dear Peter-Freaking-Pan,
We have the same middle name. Let's be friends!
Dear person who invented the high five,
What did the other person do when you spontaneously decided to slap hands?
Dear person who is confused on how to fit the sleeping bag into the bag,
Magic
Dear white girls,
Ok, so like how much Starbucks can you can't before your Uggs literally can't even?
Dear Dog,
I wish you weighed a less so that our lion king renditions looked a little more dramatic.
Dear girls,
I don't love summer because I see you in skimpy bikinis, I love summer because I never need to wear a shirt
Dear new kid/bully,
I bet you didn't expect that.
Dear tv show producers,
Maybe cut back on the doorbell noises?
Dear world,
I don't find Waldo. Waldo finds ME.
Dear people who think they're invisible underwater,
You're not.
Dear toilet,
I'm sorry for everything I put you through.
Dear people in the LGBT community who have annoying friends,
The next time someone, when hearing about your sexual orientation, says "I have a friend who's gay, you should date!," respond with "Really? I have a friend who's straight, YOU should date!"
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