Dear witty comeback ,
Please could you maybe come to me before I say something totally stupid.
Sincerely, umm...your mom's...face...?
Dear math textbooks,
Please stop using exclamation points. You cannot fool me into believing that math is exciting...
Sincerely, a student
Get well soon.
Dear guy I like,
I swear, I speak English! You just make me nervous.
Sincerely, "Are will you gonna be go doing things on this weekend?"
Dear person trying to be politically correct by calling me "African-American",
Actually, I'm from Haiti...
Dear college student,
I miss you. You're always off doing something else, or ignoring me. We don't spend as much time together as we used to, and we never hang out just for the fun of it anymore. But what really hurts is that I saw you cheating on me with your desk. What went wrong?
Sincerely, your bed
Dear guy speaking mad fast spanish,
Whoa, dude! Take it easy!
Sincerely, Dora didn't teach me that yet...
My new robe is supposed to be holy, not holey.
Sincerely, even nuns have puns.
You should really think about doing background checks on new teachers
Sincerely, the new ones never seem to work out
Dear 5 year old brother,
Yes, the sun is made up of lots of gasses. ...No, it's not a gigantic fart.
Sincerely, you're so cute.
Dear Age Is Just A Number,
Sincerely, Jail Is Just A Room
You killed me just because you were jealous of my beautiful nose and luscious hair.
Sincerely, Severus Snape
Dear English guys,
Girls may love your accent, but when I say "Potato", every uterus within a 50 mile radius explodes.
Sincerely, Irish guy
Dear Chicken and the Egg,
Does it really matter who came first? Because I win anyway.
Sincerely, The frying pan.