Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Will. I. Am,
When you die, will your name be Will. He. Was?
Dear people crying in movies or music videos,
Why do you always look perfect with tears running down your face?
Dear Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle,
It's kinda hard to advertise your clothes when your models aren't wearing any...
Dear girl on who just screamed "HOLY HUFFLEPUFF!" down the hallway,
You're such a Gryffindork...
Dear supposed "virgins till death",
Life screws us all.
Dear lady in the stall next to me,
By your moaning, I honestly can't tell if you're constipated or using a vibrator.
Dear cocky boyfriend,
Please realize that you are not hurting me because you are "sooo biggg," but more because you are hitting all the wrong spots.
Dear tampon companies,
Please make an "I'm bleeding to death" absorbancy.
Dear mom who just texted me GTTSBBSDITF,
Who in their right mind could ever figure out that it means "Gone To The Store, Be Back Soon. Dinner's In The Fridge?!"
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles,
Do your job!
Dear ex-boyfriend,
Please think of a better excuse for kissing her then "I was giving her gum..." Really?
Dear black kid calling me "vanilla",
Vanilla beans are black...
Dear girls who wear make up significantly darker than their actual skin color,
You're not fooling anyone.
Dear Grandmother,
Please stop saying that I should "shed a few pounds" then shout at me when I refuse to eat the double-layered chocolate drenched red velvet cake you baked for me...
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