Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Cowboys vs. Aliens,
How original.
Dear seedy looking moustache on my upper lip,
Please grow to a respectable size.
Dear lime,
I want you inside of me, so we can shake it all up.
Dear guy who likes me,
Please know that the only reason I didn't reply to you asking me out was because I was too busy jumping around my room yelling, "Yesssss!!!"
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Dear mom,
Yes, of course I'm pregnant. What did you expect?
Dear hockey referees ,
Are you pregnant? Because you just missed two periods!
Dear boyfriend,
Just because I'm a redhead doesn't mean this is like The Little Mermaid. There is no talking crab who's going to tell you when it's okay to kiss me.
Dear boys I babysit,
Please stop looking at my belly button when I take you to the water park. I already told you: girls do not pee out of their belly buttons.
Dear Domino's pizza is now served with real cheese,
What were you using before...?!?!?!
Dear Snookie,
We found your long lost relatives.
Dear students,
Want to hear a chemistry joke?
Dear Bellatrix,
I think you killed the wrong Black.
Dear mom,
I found the $100 without needing to clean. I think you need to find a better hiding place that isn't under my pillow.
Dear sandwich,
Sorry you got put in the middle of this.
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