Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear dentist,
When you say "come on you're a teenage girl you can open your mouth wider than that" my jaw automatically dropped
Dear girl in my chem class.,
Do you have 11 protons?
Dear people who ask if I don't eat meat because I love animals,
No, it's because I hate plants
Dear U by Kotex,
You're right. Now that all my pads and tampons come in highlighter colors I'm so excited to get my period!!!!
Dear Long-Distance Boyfriend,
I love you a bunch and I miss you, but I can't help thinking there might be a couple of benefits to the whole "long-distance" thing...
Dear whoever stole my Amazon package,
I can understand why you'd need thirty rolls of toilet paper considering you are a huge a-hole.
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Dear people that keep making Harry Potter jokes,
We need to start being Sirius now…
Dear "popular girl",
Did you seriously just ask how people in Spain talk in spanish if they think in English?
Dear Seeing Is Believing,
I must not believe in anything then.
Dear college roommate ,
When you told me "I brought 10 pairs of underwear so I'd only have to do laundry every 2 weeks" I got a little worried.
Dear parents writing their will,
I promise that comment was not directed at you. There was a beetle in the carpet.
Dear Ron,
Bloody hell? Yeah about once a month.
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
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