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Dear toilet company's ,
Please make it so your toilets have a silent flush between the hours of 8pm and 8am
Dear Indiana Jones theme song,,
Thanks for making studying for biology that much more epic.
Dear Fast and Furious,
You know straight women (and I'm sure gay men) watch these movies, too, right?
Dear Overly Affectionate Downstairs Neighbour,
Seriously? Are you not finished yet? Give your lady parts a break.
Dear Americans,
We Know you aren't all fat, but I'm pretty sure you know all of us don't play hockey or say eh after every sentence.
Dear Hogwarts,
Do you only send your acceptance letters to British people?
Dear boy,
If you dare call my friend fat again I will castrate you with a machete.
Dear Mother Nature,
Instead of periods, why can't you just send us a text saying "You're not pregnant this month, congrats."
Dear Dad,
Please lower the volume when watching internet porn. My bedroom has the same vent as the basement.
Dear friend complaining that I put you in the "friend zone",
Please don't blame me for not being attracted to you in that way.
Dear Kate Moss,
I know what skinny feels like. Hungry. Thats what it feels like.
Dear customers,
It is not my job to be bubbly and happy every second of my 8-hour shift...
Dear WebMD,
Thanks for making me paranoid about a mild cold.
Dear person who put the hogwarts letter in my locker,
I have bought all my books my broomstick and I will be leaving on April 21, all I need is my owl which you will send me and my ticket for platform for 9 3/4
Dear guys,
Please do not make that face when we say "How may I serve you?" and "My pleasure."
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