Really? You literally just said "I don't know any people with X chromosomes who play XBox"? You do realize that every single person on the planet has at least one X chromosome, right? It's actually essential to life/
Sincerely, someone who paid attention in biology
I told you I spaz out when people tickle me!
Sincerely, sorry for the black eye...
When you answer the phone while exercising, it sounds much more inappropriate than you think.
Sincerely, Nearly-traumatized employee
Dear "All Asians look the same",
So I look like Jessica Jung?
Dear Nicki Minaj,
Thank you for teaching me that anacondas like bread.
Sincerely, South America, here I come!
Dear bald people,
Do you use shampoo or body wash?
Sincerely, I seriously want to know
Dear person in my class,
Did you seriously just ask in Franklin Roosevelt was still alive
Sincerely, ya he's been living on my block for the last 150 years
Dear boyfriend I now live with,
You can't talk to me through the bathroom door.
Sincerely, it's weird, I can't pee.
Dear über deep teenage girls,
Don't judge me by the past, I don't live there anymore. Kisses!
Sincerely, Adolf Hitler
Dear new kid/bully,
I bet you didn't expect that.
Dear tv show producers,
Maybe cut back on the doorbell noises?
Sincerely, every dog owner ever
I wish you weighed a less so that our lion king renditions looked a little more dramatic.
Sincerely, this wasn't supposed to be a comedy.
I don't like that you're secretly dating a priest. You're literally replacing my father with a Father.
Sincerely, Your Atheist daughter
I'm sorry for everything I put you through.
Sincerely, food poisoning
Dear people in the LGBT community who have annoying friends,
The next time someone, when hearing about your sexual orientation, says "I have a friend who's gay, you should date!," respond with "Really? I have a friend who's straight, YOU should date!"
Sincerely, you're welcome.