Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear band teacher,
Why do you look at us like we're crazy for laughing when you tell us not to be afraid of the D and just blow?
Dear parents,
Please stop using the saying "Till the cows come home"
Dear guy friends who just decided to search my purse,
Congrats, you found my tampon stash.
Dear fellow actors in my high school drama department,
Thank you so much for this award. It means a lot to me.
Dear "America runs on Dunkin",
That's cute
Dear great value,
Please make your cooking spray and your furniture polish more distinguishable
Dear dad,
Please never refer to my flip flops as "thongs" again.
Dear health video,
"Women are 85% more likely to get pregnant than men."
Dear Teachers,
Please. Never. Ever. Ever. Ever wear a lacy hot pink thong and a pair of white shorts on field day.
Dear boy in my chem class,
Do you have 11 protons?
Dear Testicles,
Thank you for not bleeding every month. You're the best!
Dear Jacob,
Please stop calling yourself a werewolf. You're an animagus. Now, please turn to page 394.
Dear Curiosity,
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Dear Olympian Gods,
Start using protection. I mean, really. Has it ever turned out very well for you?
Dear Humans,
Please Sorry about all your socks. I'm just trying to free house elves.
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