Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Sincerely, Dr Sheldon Cooper
So I took someone to a sketchy warehouse, blindfolded them, and then told them to take a deep breath.
Sincerely, writing from jail...
Please stop telling me to bang 'em hard when I go to drumline rehearsal. It's.... awkward.
Sincerely, your 14 year old freshman snare drummer
Sincerely, you should be studying right now
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Sincerely, still want that sandwich?
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
Sincerely, completely embarrassed for laughing that hard
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear guy who just woke up,
Sincerely, the farts under your blanket
My aim is to keep the toilets clean, your aim helps
Dear Tiny sweet baby of mine,
You are, literally, smaller than your daddy's foot, how do you poop so much?
Sincerely, confused mommy
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Sincerely, your daughter with a mouth like a sailor
Sincerely, Ryan Gosling's parents
Dear person outside the bathroom stall,
Calm down, I just took a screenshot of a picture on Facebook. My volume just happened to be on loud..
Sincerely, I did not just take a picture of my crotch..
Please stop calling yourself a werewolf. You're an animagus. Now, please turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Professor Snape