Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Sincerely, Dr Sheldon Cooper
Dear Febreze,
So I took someone to a sketchy warehouse, blindfolded them, and then told them to take a deep breath.
Sincerely, writing from jail...
Dear dad,
Please stop telling me to bang 'em hard when I go to drumline rehearsal. It's.... awkward.
Sincerely, your 14 year old freshman snare drummer
Dear reader,
ಠ_ಠ
Sincerely, you should be studying right now
Dear Men,
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Sincerely, still want that sandwich?
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
Sincerely, completely embarrassed for laughing that hard
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Sincerely, Amused
Dear guy who just woke up,
Surprise!
Sincerely, the farts under your blanket
Dear world,
My aim is to keep the toilets clean, your aim helps
Sincerely, janitor.
Dear Tiny sweet baby of mine,
You are, literally, smaller than your daddy's foot, how do you poop so much?
Sincerely, confused mommy
Dear Mom,
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Sincerely, your daughter with a mouth like a sailor
Dear world,
You're welcome
Sincerely, Ryan Gosling's parents
Dear person outside the bathroom stall,
Calm down, I just took a screenshot of a picture on Facebook. My volume just happened to be on loud..
Sincerely, I did not just take a picture of my crotch..
Dear Jacob,
Please stop calling yourself a werewolf. You're an animagus. Now, please turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Professor Snape
Dear pervy guys staring at me as I eat my Popsicle,
*CRUNCH*
Sincerely, oh I even broke the Popsicle stick.
THIS IS PAGE 3
