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Dear other drivers,
If you want to get into my lane, please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD use your turn signal. Especially if I'm moving fast and you're not.
Dear spambots,
Nobody clicks on your links. We're not stupid.
Dear hormones,
Please just stop.
Dear people,
Please stop confusing me for my twin sister. I undertand that we're identical twins, but really? She has an undercut, my hair is about chin length at the shortest. I wear t-shirts and blue jeans, she wears band t's and dark wash skinny jeans. Maybe if you stopped to think about it, you would realize there are some MAJOR differences between us.
Dear Suite-mates,
Please close the door when you're using the bathroom
Dear co-workers,
I made fun of Christianity. You laughed along with me. I made fun of Islam and Hinduism, and you said I couldn't say things like that because I'd offend people of those religions. Is Christianity not a religion any more then?
Dear bipolar friend,
I love you, I really do. But our mental illnesses aren't compatible, and I can't be your therapist 24/7. It triggers my anxiety to the point where I can't function.
Dear world,
There is no such thing as an "open relationship". A relationship is, by its definition, exclusive to two people. Attempting to bring more people into it will inevitably cause heartbreak. My parents had an "open relationship", and I watched my mother cry herself to sleep every night my father brought home another woman, and my father get drunk every time my mother spent the night with another man.
Dear Public,
In other news, Hillary still isn't in prison.
Dear young teens,
Please stop talking and acting like you're grown. wait till you're 18 AND THEN mess up your life.
Dear Parents,
Please stop putting so much pressure on me and comparing me to everyone else. You make me hate this home and this family. Every time I come home there is more and more yelling. The one time I tell you both that I am feeling like shit and am honest to God trying as hard as I possibly can... telling me that "you're just not doing it right" is not going to make me feel any better. I have cut myself and at this point will not hesitate jumping in front of a car when I see it coming. I contemplate whether or not this makes me mentally insane or simply tired of your bullshit. I know it sounds harsh, but I can't pretend like I love you if the only thing I hear all the time is, "why can't you be better?"
Dear Everyone thinking this Election is between Two Evils - Hilary or Trump,
Please It's NOT!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember that Bernie's still in this and Write ins are a thing. You don't have to choose 'the lesser of two evils'...
Dear Aunt Flo,
I know how much you greatly enjoy your monthly visits. They're definitely.....well, um, a treat. And the usual 7 day visit is fine and expected. However, I feel your decision to stay 11 days and maybe longer is a little extensive and I would appreciate some time to myself once again. So to put it frankly, I can't stand you. Now go away!
Dear Men,
I finally found a way to describe what cramps feel like. You know those really horrid gas cramps you get that make you double over in pain? Imagine that for a whole day to two days.
Dear classmate,
Yep, I'm totally avoiding you. I helped you out on the homework twice, and now you seem to think I only exist to explain each and every problem for you.