Dear people staring at me,
Please stop. I have to wear this "school girl" outfit. I didn't choose to wear a plaid skirt and Oxford shirt. I go to a Christian Academy
Sincerely, no.. your dreams did not come true.
Dear Americans still waiting for their Hogwarts acceptance letters,
Please note that to get from Hogwarts to America, the owls have to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. Clearly, they all get lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Sincerely, geography's a jerk.
Please make it so that an animal that has been named with a name tag can't despawn.
Sincerely, tired of respawning Jebediah the cow
Oh, you told me to get some sleep? I thought you told me to go get some pizza. My mistake.
Sincerely, your son at college.
Dear guy who just asked me out,
well this is awkward...
Sincerely, closet lesbian
Please stop asking me when I'm going t get a boyfriend.
Sincerely, what happened to no dating until 30
When my friends are over, and you need me to do your make up for a play. Please just walk in, their faces were priceless when you asked.
Sincerely, a theater kid who grew up doing her father's make up.
Don't worry babe, I still support you.
Dear Cleaning industries,
Make a disinfectant that kills .01% of germs, and then tell the buyer to buy your other disinfectant that kills 99.99% of germs and use them together to kill all of the germs.
Sincerely, I'd buy it...
On normal days you both get up at 6:00. Why do you wake up at 10:00 on Christmas?
Sincerely, your kids.
I'm sorry I shocked you on the nose! I was only trying to boop you!
Sincerely, Come back!!!
You shouldn't use that here
Sincerely, professor Oak
Dear high schoolers at dances,
Wait you mean you don't do a Samba to this song?
Sincerely, teenage Latin ballroom dancer
Oh, so this stranger you don't know, the one you made out with at a party earlier, randomly shows up IN YOUR GARDEN in the middle of the night, UNDER YOUR WINDOW? And then you agreed to MARRY HIM?
Sincerely, I would have called the cops, but that seems legit too...