Dear Google Maps,,
Why the hell are you giving me the nearest Panda express location in New Jersey?
Sincerely, I live in Missouri
Please stop distracting me from my homework. If I don't get a good career and make a steady paycheck we can no longer see each other.
Sincerely, Your College Sweetheart
If you're gonna happen, happen.
Sincerely, don't put a stupid look on my face and leave
Dear people who drive drunk,
Asking you to say the alphabet backwards is a way for us to try and trick you to say "I can't even do that sober"
Sincerely, cops everywhere
Dear People who tell me I look nothing like my twin,
Well, she's girl.
Sincerely, I'm a boy....
Please tell me what Chuck E. Cheese's middle name is
Sincerely, one curious kid since 5 years old
Dear "I like girls better wearing sweats and not wearing make-up",
I've never worn make-up and don't own a single pair of jeans. Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Sincerely, I smell lies. A lot of lies..
Sorry I peed in your bushes.
Sincerely, I really had to go.
Dear Postal industry,
Sincerely, the college admissions process
I'm tired of trying to find where you're hiding.
Sincerely, this would be easier if I could actually SEE.
Dear people who check behind their shower for murders,
Please realize that if you leave the shower curtain open, you can see the entire shower and you don't have to check.
Sincerely, smart people
You might have blue, but do you have purple? Thats what we thought...
What's the opposite of a ladies' man?
Sincerely, I'm pretty sure it's not a man-lady...
You probably aren't even IN the friendzone, probably more like the "God-Not-Him-Again" Zone....
Sincerely, Trust me, I don't want to be your friend either