Dear tough people,
Please stop comparing us to your weaklings. Petuunias are clearly the inferior flower.
I'm breaking up with you.
Sincerely, it's not me, it's you.
Dear Hamlet homework,
To do, or not to do...
Sincerely, procrastination is my greatest flaw too
Dear Volkswagon Beetle outside of the building in which I work,
PUNCH - oh.
Dear Fellow A-cups,
Please know not all is lost. I was testing out something for a cosplay today and guess what! I got them to look like at least B-cups! THEY TOUCHED!
Sincerely, Just a happy girl
Dear Kristen Stewart,
Look, I know we made a deal and all, but for once I'M starting to regret having you sign the contract. It was a fair transaction, you trading me all your facial expressions for an acting career, but the world can't take much more of this. I want you to consider giving me your first born child in exchange for getting the facial expressions back.
Sincerely, the devil
Dear dark basements,
Every time I leave I run like a crazy person
Sincerely, please don't kill me! Please don't kill me!
Dear kids on the Trix commercials,
You jerks! WHY, exactly, can't I have any Trix?! Did your mother never teach you to share?!
Sincerely, SILLY RABBIT
Dear Math Factorials,
I don't know what you're so excited about.
Sincerely, n*(n-1) = n!
Dear sweatpants and hoodie,
Thanks for being there for me.
Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it.
'Tis but a scratch.
Dear TV networks,
Please start a series about horseback riders' moms.
Sincerely, competitive moms with lots of money and bratty kids? I say perfect for television.
Dear 9 year old sister,
Next time we're at the community center, please try not to say "Mommy, what's a cone-dom?" so loudly.
Sincerely, I love you, sis :)
Please stop making me lust after three people at once. I have a boyfriend, and it's not good that I want to have sex with him, but also want to screw my best friend and the guy I set her up with!!
Sincerely, very scared, annoyed and horny girl