You are sodium funny!
May I please borrow your time-turner? I just accidentally tooted in front of my crush!
Sincerely, a mortified girl on her first date
Dear Mormon girls,
Why are you all so attractive?
Sincerely, an atheist who will never have a chance...
I was tweeting long before you were born!
Sincerely, Tweety Bird
Please stop being such a cockblock.
Sincerely, Horny, but bloody...
Dear bad boys,
Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they come for you?
Sincerely, a viewer waiting for your arrest.
Do you want in or out? Please make up your mind...
Sincerely, your human slave
I'm a black lesbian.
Sincerely, Thanks for the scholarships!
Dear sleeping dog,
RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF!!!!!
Sincerely, what goes around comes around.
Dear Rock, Paper, Scissors,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper
Dear popular high school classmates,
I look forward to hiring you in the future!
Sincerely, the nerds you picked on...
Dear those who tell me that I eat too much,
I can't hear you over my chewing...
Sincerely, curvy and content.
Dear straight boys,
No, you can't watch.
Please, shut up and stop growling!
Sincerely, the girl trying to appear dainty on her first date.