Behave, or you will be put up for wig adoption.
Sincerely, be good.
Dear Google Maps,,
Why the hell are you giving me the nearest Panda express location in New Jersey?
Sincerely, I live in Missouri
Please stop distracting me from my homework. If I don't get a good career and make a steady paycheck we can no longer see each other.
Sincerely, Your College Sweetheart
Paper cuts are the best revenge especially when you don't expect them.
Dear people staring at me while I walk a screaming child down the street,
Please I know she is sobbing and screaming about wanting to go home and wanting her mommy and daddy, but I swear I didn't kidnap her. I'm her babysitter, honest.
Sincerely, Please don't call the cops on me
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Sincerely, It looks like Tigger murdered Pooh on my bed.
Dear "I like girls better wearing sweats and not wearing make-up",
I've never worn make-up and don't own a single pair of jeans. Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Sincerely, I smell lies. A lot of lies..
Dear People who tell me I look nothing like my twin,
Well, she's girl.
Sincerely, I'm a boy....
Dear friend-zoned friend who just asked if we are now more than friends,
Sincerely, 'cause we're now BEST of friends.
Dear author of a book i just read,
So you're trying to tell me that in a world of vampires, a human girl pretended to be a vampire successfully for 17 years? You do realize that girls BLEED every month, right?
Sincerely, she would have been eaten as soon as she hit puberty
Dear people who drive drunk,
Asking you to say the alphabet backwards is a way for us to try and trick you to say "I can't even do that sober"
Sincerely, cops everywhere
Please tell me what Chuck E. Cheese's middle name is
Sincerely, one curious kid since 5 years old
You probably aren't even IN the friendzone, probably more like the "God-Not-Him-Again" Zone....
Sincerely, Trust me, I don't want to be your friend either
Dear people who make instructions,
Please make your instructions more clear. Setting up a printer shouldn't be this hard.
Sincerely, is that an ink cartridge or an octopus?