Dear Every country,
Please stop trying to invade us. It's for your own good.
Sincerely, Russia in Winter
Dear "Friend-Zoned" Guys,
Please stop acting like you're entitled to a female's affection just because you're "nice" to her.
Sincerely, women aren't vending machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.
Dear math teachers,
OMG!! THAT'S AN ISOCELES TRIANGLE!!!
Sincerely, said no one ever.
You're not going to hate me when I come after unprotected sex
Sincerely, your period
Dear new 20 year olds,
Congratulations!!! You just surpassed teen pregnancy!
Sincerely, renewed hope
Dear Mario Bros.,
I'm back from my 20 year vacation and feel really bad about the whole peach thing. Please accept my dearest ....... WHO THE HELL IS BOWSER, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CASTLE?
Sincerely, King Koopa
Dear "I brought you into this world an I can take you out of it",
No you can't, that's called murder.
Sincerely, your daughter
Dear Music Stand,
Thanks for tricking me into thinking you were stuck. I was just trying to adjust you...
Sincerely, Bruised Forehead
Dear Bella Swan,
I've met bread more interesting than you.
Sincerely, Rather stare at bread than watch Twilight any day.
You mean to tell me we've come up with nuclear bombs yet we can't find a way to get rid of the painfully awkward lag on news channels when going to someone "on the scene"?
Sincerely, it never fails to make me uncomfortable
Dear old man in the car next to me,
Those glass things your looking out of... those are windows and other people can see in them. You picking your nose and examining it, can be seen by other people.
Sincerely, grossed out in the car next to you
If you watch your movie backwards it tells the story of a magical dinosaur who repairs buildings with magical blue eye beams the moon-walks into the ocean at the end...
Sincerely, I'm gonna try this on all my movies!
Dear "Diamonds are a girls best friend.",
I beg to differ.
Dear habitual hashtaggers,
You don't need to hashtag every word you say, just write a normal complete sentence.
Sincerely, do the write thing