SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear tough people,
Please stop comparing us to your weaklings. Petuunias are clearly the inferior flower.
Dear School,
I'm breaking up with you.
Dear Hamlet homework,
To do, or not to do...
Dear Volkswagon Beetle outside of the building in which I work,
PUNCH - oh.
Dear Fellow A-cups,
Please know not all is lost. I was testing out something for a cosplay today and guess what! I got them to look like at least B-cups! THEY TOUCHED!
Dear Kristen Stewart,
Look, I know we made a deal and all, but for once I'M starting to regret having you sign the contract. It was a fair transaction, you trading me all your facial expressions for an acting career, but the world can't take much more of this. I want you to consider giving me your first born child in exchange for getting the facial expressions back.
Dear dark basements,
Every time I leave I run like a crazy person
Dear kids on the Trix commercials,
You jerks! WHY, exactly, can't I have any Trix?! Did your mother never teach you to share?!
Dear Math Factorials,
I don't know what you're so excited about.
Dear sweatpants and hoodie,
Thanks for being there for me.
Dear Romeo,,
'Tis but a scratch.
Dear TV networks,
Please start a series about horseback riders' moms.
Dear 9 year old sister,
Next time we're at the community center, please try not to say "Mommy, what's a cone-dom?" so loudly.
Dear Hormones,
Please stop making me lust after three people at once. I have a boyfriend, and it's not good that I want to have sex with him, but also want to screw my best friend and the guy I set her up with!!
Dear that evil restaraunt,
Please don't ever let me in there again, as I have been shitting bricks all day.
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