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Dear World,
What if oxygen was poisonous but it took 75-100 years to kill us?
Dear Romance movies,
STOP MAKING US LOOK BAD
Dear People who say "I'm only human",
Please That sure sounds like something a robot would say.
Dear Girl Scouts,
4 Thin Mints? Screw that, I ate the whole box in one sitting.
Dear "Check your privilege",
Wait a second... Yup, it's still there. Now what?
Dear Elves,
Don't lie to us, we've all seen Rise of the Guardians. The Yetis do all the work.
Dear any boy who wishes to win my heart,
Please don't ever give me flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, or love songs. I will just get embarrassed and hide.
Dear Santa,
How is it we make the freaking toys,but you get all the credit?
Dear customer,
Why, yes we DO carry uncooked toast!
Dear girl,
Better late than not at all, right?
Dear girl who says she is the most popular person in the school,
Are you sure? I didn't know who you were until yesterday.
Dear roommate,
I have no idea how someone can go for four days without bathing.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Can you just stop talking about your relationship for at least five minutes.
Dear grown man wearing a Caesar costume and dancing to the backstreet boys,
Best. Latin teacher. EVER.
Dear guy in the stall next to me,
Coughing to cover-up the sound of you wanking it doesn't help.
THIS IS PAGE 4
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