Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Jane Doe,
Did you marry John Doe, or are you his sister?
Dear Snookie,
We found your long lost relatives.
Dear lime,
I want you inside of me, so we can shake it all up.
Dear guy who likes me,
Please know that the only reason I didn't reply to you asking me out was because I was too busy jumping around my room yelling, "Yesssss!!!"
Dear boyfriend,
Just because I'm a redhead doesn't mean this is like The Little Mermaid. There is no talking crab who's going to tell you when it's okay to kiss me.
Dear people trying to make a point,
...
Dear witchy popular girl,
I would say, "I may be a nerd, but watch out, I'll be your boss someday," but I don't think that's gonna happen.
Dear GPA,
OM NOM NOM.
Dear 8 year olds on Facebook,
It's "come"not "cum."
Dear students,
Want to hear a chemistry joke?
Dear Hollister,
It's so dark in here, I can't even read the price tag!
Dear homework,
Why must you be so hard when I am not in the mood?
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Dear health class,
Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.
Dear kitten,
Yes, it is super cute how you can attack and shred a roll of toilet paper in 15 seconds. However, I am super sick and needed it.
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