Dear Channing Tatum,
PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
Sincerely, ...said no one ever.
Dear What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas,
Haha, LOL, not anymore, suckers...
Sincerely, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram
Dear cherry-scented marker,
Please stop smelling so good.
Sincerely, I look like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
I hate the homeless...,
...ness problem that plagues our city.
Sincerely, Captain Hammer (You know what, I don't need tiny cue cards!)
Dear Mayans,
Thank you for teaching me that if you don't finish something, it really isn't the end of the world
Sincerely, a perfectionist finally at ease
Dear dirty minded people,
I can't even talk about a book when i'm with you
Sincerely, 'the climax was great but the ending was perfect'
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
Dear people of the world,
Please stop saying ATM machine, what do you think the final "M" stands for?
Sincerely, Automatic Teller Monkey?
Dear seventeenth-century sailors,
Mermaids were a sex object for you, right? They have no vagina's. What sort of sexual fantasies were you having?
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear Boys,
There's a reason it's called Hershey
Sincerely, Give it to HER during her period, and SHE won't kill you
Dear People who say they have "swag",
Please know that Swag means a wreath or a garland. Therefore, if you are a "swagmaster", then you are the master of wreaths and garlands. Congrats.
Sincerely, someone who knows what dictionary.com is
Dear best friend,
Our college conversations about boys are exactly the same as middle school conversations about boys, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sincerely, He sat next to me in class! And he's wearing my favorite color, it's a sign....
Dear cupcakes,
The fact that you cover yourself in icing really says something about your self esteem.
Sincerely, muffins
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
False. Violets are violet by nature, and roses, depending on their genotype, can be a variety of colors.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
Dear humans,
Just because I fell asleep on you doesn't mean I like you. It just means you're big, fat, and useless, but warm.
Sincerely, cats
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