SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Customer,
Please know that if you bring your cappuccino back for being 'too foamy' you will get, and deserve, a death stare.
Dear forever 21,
Please add additional fabric to your budget.
Dear Couples,
Please stop ruining it for the rest of us... U SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear parents,
If all of my friends jumped off a bridge, they probably had a good reason.
Dear Fairytale Lovers,
Cinderella's shoe came off even though it fitted perfectly because the Prince smeared the steps with pitch.
Dear boy who wondered why I never had a boyfriend,
Please understand that I read books, and I read about all these wonderful fairytales. All I wish is to have one happen to me.
Dear Harry Potter,
Please tell me, did you just burn Quirrell's face off with your bare hands?
Dear dad,
Please stop refusing to learn how to use the computer. You were the first person in the family to get a laptop yet after nearly two decades, you can't even send an email. Don't let your age determine your ability to learn. Mom has been doing great.
Dear Americans,
We're not that fussed about your accent and it annoys us that you refer to ours as 'British'. Are we Welsh?
Dear people to whom I send instructions,
Please follow them. When it says to make a wire transfer, make a wire transfer. It you dont know what it is, ask your bank. Or ask me. Do not, I repeat, do not parachute cash money over a random bank. It takes forever to chase your money around and put it back where it belongs.
Dear people who wonder why Hogwarts doesn't send rejection letters,
Because it would break the International Statute of Secrecy!
Dear John Smith,
Please explain why you're English and everyone on your ship is English but they all have English accents and you sound like you born when a Bald Eagle made a nest in the Stars and Stripes.
Dear family,
Please stop asking when I am having kids.
Dear research paper,
let's get this over with
Dear Customer,
The fact that you made me make you a tea with not only whipped cream but marshmallows as well makes me feel both queasy and sad.
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