Dear math textbooks,
Please continue to attempt to seem racially diverse.
Sincerely, Rahashid, Mei-Lin, Leteesha and James.
Dear Christian school,
You're saying tank tops aren't allowed because they're a distraction to boys?
Sincerely, are my shoulders that sexy?
Dear guy shopping with your girlfriend,
I saw that look you gave my girlfriend when she started talking about her bedazzled nerf gun.
Sincerely, you jelly?
Dear long blonde hair on my shower wall,
I'm a brunette with a pixie cut and I live alone...
Dear freshmen boys trying to grow a moustache,
Sorry, but um... You have a little bit of dirt... Yeah right there.
Sincerely, very amused junior girl
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Sincerely, 6-year-old daughter.
I still don't understand our relationship.
I know you've been looking for X for years, in fact X is equal to 10.
Sincerely, the Greeks.
Dear purple crayon,
Why must you look EXACTLY like the blue crayon?
Sincerely, my ocean is now purple.
So you're bright orange and love lasanga? Real orignal.
Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.
Sincerely, you strip in front of 20 guys while I'm backstage with 30 girls.
Why thank you, I am very ingenious and am going to rule the technological world because I knew how to fix your computer.
Sincerely, but seriously, I just pressed the power button...
Dear History Teacher,
Kind of ironic I failed my presentation by not being loud enough.
Sincerely, it was on the Fifth Amendment, the right to remain silent
Dear people who don't like Harry Potter because there's magic in it,
Have you ever seen Cinderella?
Sincerely, unless your pumpkins normally turn into coaches...