Dear person trying to sleep,
You know what we haven't thought about in a while? Monsters
Sincerely, your brain who's trying to kill you.
Dear Blind people,
Why do you walk your dogs soo much.
I'm still better at hiding than you.
Sucks, don't it?
Sincerely, Clippy the Paper Clip
I'm sorry he broke up with you. You know I have an axe, right?
Sincerely, we'll chop up the sweaters.
Dear idiot that jumped my back fence to take my new puppy,
I bet you didn't realize that I had a protection trained Rottweiler in my yard too.
Sincerely, I think you may need a new pair of pants.
Dear Middle-aged male joggers,
Please don't wear those short shorts,....
Sincerely, need liquid nitrogen for my eyes now
Dear boy who walks with me after math class,
No, I did not know that giraffes die if they throw up.
Sincerely, but you've got serious potential.
Dear awkward alter ego,
Why do you always turn up when my crush s around?!
Sincerely, he probably thinks I'm mute
Dear Tampon thats just fell out of my bag,
So I couldn't find you earlier when I needed you. But you decide to make an appearance now?!? WHY?!
Sincerely, My crush is standing RIGHT THERE!
Dear people who glorify being in college and spending weekends with their significant others building pillow forts and watching Disney movies,
While this is indeed fun, perhaps consider that instead of using these activities as an alternative to sex, you could have sex in said pillow fort.
Sincerely, it's not ruining childhood, it's embellishing it. (Also, there's already cushioning on the floors)
You never see us picking up your poop! who's the pet again?
Sincerely, Dogs of the world
Dear cats outside my window,
Please stop mating in the middle of the night. I would like some sleep.
Sincerely, waking up at 3 am to the sound of screeching, mating cats.
Dear waitress judging me,
I'm fat, not pregnant, but thanks for your unnecessary concern.
Sincerely, "pregnant" lady ordering alcohol.