Behave, or you will be put up for wig adoption.
Sincerely, be good.
Dear Google Maps,,
Why the hell are you giving me the nearest Panda express location in New Jersey?
Sincerely, I live in Missouri
Dear people who think they're invisible underwater,
Sincerely, We all just saw you pick your wedgie.
Dear people in the LGBT community who have annoying friends,
The next time someone, when hearing about your sexual orientation, says "I have a friend who's gay, you should date!," respond with "Really? I have a friend who's straight, YOU should date!"
Sincerely, you're welcome.
Paper cuts are the best revenge especially when you don't expect them.
Please stop distracting me from my homework. If I don't get a good career and make a steady paycheck we can no longer see each other.
Sincerely, Your College Sweetheart
Dear people staring at me while I walk a screaming child down the street,
Please I know she is sobbing and screaming about wanting to go home and wanting her mommy and daddy, but I swear I didn't kidnap her. I'm her babysitter, honest.
Sincerely, Please don't call the cops on me
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Sincerely, It looks like Tigger murdered Pooh on my bed.
Dear People who tell me I look nothing like my twin,
Well, she's girl.
Sincerely, I'm a boy....
Dear "All Asians look the same",
So I look like Jessica Jung?
Dear "I like girls better wearing sweats and not wearing make-up",
I've never worn make-up and don't own a single pair of jeans. Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Sincerely, I smell lies. A lot of lies..
We know that you only brush your teeth right before you come here. It doesnt work
Sincerely, dentists and orthodontists
I thought the M stood for music, not maternity...
Sincerely, you had me fooled
Dear Short person,
Maybe get a periscope or something?
Sincerely, Tall person in the row in front of you whose back is starting to hurt from all this slouching.