SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear hair,
Behave, or you will be put up for wig adoption.
Dear Google Maps,,
Why the hell are you giving me the nearest Panda express location in New Jersey?
Dear Beer,
Please stop distracting me from my homework. If I don't get a good career and make a steady paycheck we can no longer see each other.
Dear humans,
Paper cuts are the best revenge especially when you don't expect them.
Dear people staring at me while I walk a screaming child down the street,
Please I know she is sobbing and screaming about wanting to go home and wanting her mommy and daddy, but I swear I didn't kidnap her. I'm her babysitter, honest.
Dear period,
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Dear "I like girls better wearing sweats and not wearing make-up",
I've never worn make-up and don't own a single pair of jeans. Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Dear People who tell me I look nothing like my twin,
Well, she's girl.
Dear friend-zoned friend who just asked if we are now more than friends,
Yes.
Dear author of a book i just read,
So you're trying to tell me that in a world of vampires, a human girl pretended to be a vampire successfully for 17 years? You do realize that girls BLEED every month, right?
Dear people who drive drunk,
Asking you to say the alphabet backwards is a way for us to try and trick you to say "I can't even do that sober"
Dear world,
Please tell me what Chuck E. Cheese's middle name is
Dear Frienzoned,
You probably aren't even IN the friendzone, probably more like the "God-Not-Him-Again" Zone....
Dear people who make instructions,
Please make your instructions more clear. Setting up a printer shouldn't be this hard.
Dear Marvel,
Before you, I had a hell of a time spelling shield. So thanks.
THIS IS PAGE 4
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