Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear vegetarians,
In indigenous tribes only the village idiot, who cannot fish or hunt, is vegetarian.
Dear pet cat,
Thank you for taking a bite out of my unwrapped McDouble and giving me a literal icanhazcheezburger moment!
Dear Pac-Man,
Do you need some help?
Dear "D" in "Disney",
Wait... You're not a "G?"
Dear Jack the Ripper,
We all have the same middle name!
Dear girl who asks "does this make me look fat",
As opposed to how fat you look normally everything is relative.
Dear Waldo,
Care to join us?
Dear "I wasn't that drunk",
You were holding my flashlight saying "DUDE I can control the Sun!"
Dear Harry Potter,
I'm too sexy for my nose, too sexy for my nose, so sexy it hurts... you!
Dear "It is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while commiting murder",
What about the whole murder part?
Dear acne commercials,
I tried that whole splash the water in your face thing, didn't turn out so well.
Dear freshly polished coffee table,
Spinning around on my stomach has never been so fun!
Dear <,
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Dear MTV,
I was wondering if I could get my "M" back... you know, since you're not using it?
Dear people who say "nothing is impossible",
Ever tried to slam a revolving door?
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