I don't like that you're secretly dating a priest. You're literally replacing my father with a Father.
Sincerely, Your Atheist daughter
Dear boyfriend I now live with,
You can't talk to me through the bathroom door.
Sincerely, it's weird, I can't pee.
What if oxygen was poisonous but it took 75-100 years to kill us?
Sincerely, Have fun with that
Really? You literally just said "I don't know any people with X chromosomes who play XBox"? You do realize that every single person on the planet has at least one X chromosome, right? It's actually essential to life/
Sincerely, someone who paid attention in biology
I'm having an affair.
Sincerely, his name is Couch
Dear Nicki Minaj,
Thank you for teaching me that anacondas like bread.
Sincerely, South America, here I come!
Dear über deep teenage girls,
Don't judge me by the past, I don't live there anymore. Kisses!
Sincerely, Adolf Hitler
Dear "Check your privilege",
Wait a second... Yup, it's still there. Now what?
Don't lie to us, we've all seen Rise of the Guardians. The Yetis do all the work.
Sincerely, people that know the truth.
Dear Girl Scouts,
4 Thin Mints? Screw that, I ate the whole box in one sitting.
Sincerely, let's be realistic.
Dear past me,
No, that is not a cute hairstyle.
Sincerely, cringing at my old yearbook photos
Behave, or you will be put up for wig adoption.
Sincerely, be good.
I have no idea how someone can go for four days without bathing.
Sincerely, you smell like a damn dumpster and I hate you
How is it we make the freaking toys,but you get all the credit?
Sincerely, The Elves