Dear Pet Parents,
Do you ever wonder what your pet has named you?
Sincerely, worried about what they are named
Dear Wizarding World,
If you kill the greatest wizard of all time, you become the greatest wizard of all time. Dumbledore was the greatest wizard of all time. Snape killed Dumbledore. Nagini killed Snape. Neville killed Nagini.
Sincerely, Conclusion: Neville is the greatest wizard of all time
Dear lady at walmart,
Please don't assume I know about condoms just because I am college age.
Sincerely, no I will not help you pick out condoms for your 15 year old son
Dear English Teacher,
The curtains and sky are blue because blue is my favorite color.
Sincerely, the Author
I had something to tell you, but I just can't remember.
Sincerely, your supposed owner
Dear Potty-Training Nephew,
If you have to go to the bathroom, please notify an adult... especially if you are going to be sitting on laps.
Sincerely, The Uncle Whose Pants You Also Peed...
I turn you on.
Dear Stupid customers,
No I don't work here, I just put away random store's clothing for fun. It's my favorite pastime.
Sincerely, Yes I Work Here
Dear Mrs. Weasley,
Please explain to me how and why you adopted Harry Potter while I was at work... And how Dombledor approved of it.
Sincerely, a somewhat confused Mr. Weasley
How am I going to pick a college major, if every time I decide on one, you tell me how horrible that job is going to be?
Sincerely, tired of living with Professor Trelawney
Dear pocahontas ,
No, I've never talked to a bobcat before... You might want to see a doctor about that one.
Sincerely, John smith
Could you at least start lubricating?
Sincerely, Over a Barrel
Please take this as a sign to get back to work.
Sincerely, fellow procrastinator
Why must you all be "dry flat only"?! There are no more flat surfaces in my apartment!
Sincerely, sundresses never do this to me