On normal days you both get up at 6:00. Why do you wake up at 10:00 on Christmas?
Sincerely, your kids.
Don't worry babe, I still support you.
I'm sorry I shocked you on the nose! I was only trying to boop you!
Sincerely, Come back!!!
Yay it's snowing in Queensland!
Sincerely, just kidding its only sea foam from the incredibly high tides
Dear new boyfriend,
It was really sweet to bring me on a sailing trip for our first date, but there's something you should know...
I'm sorry he broke up with you. You know I have an axe, right?
Sincerely, we'll chop up the sweaters.
Dear Middle-aged male joggers,
Please don't wear those short shorts,....
Sincerely, need liquid nitrogen for my eyes now
Dear person trying to sleep,
You know what we haven't thought about in a while? Monsters
Sincerely, your brain who's trying to kill you.
Dear high schoolers at dances,
Wait you mean you don't do a Samba to this song?
Sincerely, teenage Latin ballroom dancer
Dear boy who walks with me after math class,
No, I did not know that giraffes die if they throw up.
Sincerely, but you've got serious potential.
Dear idiot that jumped my back fence to take my new puppy,
I bet you didn't realize that I had a protection trained Rottweiler in my yard too.
Sincerely, I think you may need a new pair of pants.
Dear guy who works for the city,
Please stop ringing the doorbell and just leave
Sincerely, trapped downstairs in my underwear
Dear awkward alter ego,
Why do you always turn up when my crush s around?!
Sincerely, he probably thinks I'm mute
Dear people who glorify being in college and spending weekends with their significant others building pillow forts and watching Disney movies,
While this is indeed fun, perhaps consider that instead of using these activities as an alternative to sex, you could have sex in said pillow fort.
Sincerely, it's not ruining childhood, it's embellishing it. (Also, there's already cushioning on the floors)