Dear Jane Doe,
Did you marry John Doe, or are you his sister?
We found your long lost relatives.
Sincerely, they are being kept in a factory by a man named Willy Wonka.
I want you inside of me, so we can shake it all up.
Dear guy who likes me,
Please know that the only reason I didn't reply to you asking me out was because I was too busy jumping around my room yelling, "Yesssss!!!"
Sincerely, otherwise, I would have responded before my battery died.
Just because I'm a redhead doesn't mean this is like The Little Mermaid. There is no talking crab who's going to tell you when it's okay to kiss me.
Sincerely, DO IT ALREADY!
Dear people trying to make a point,
Sincerely, I just made three. What now?
Dear witchy popular girl,
I would say, "I may be a nerd, but watch out, I'll be your boss someday," but I don't think that's gonna happen.
Sincerely, I don't plan on being a pimp.
OM NOM NOM.
Sincerely, Organic Chemistry.
Dear 8 year olds on Facebook,
It's "come"not "cum."
Sincerely, spelling is everything!
Want to hear a chemistry joke?
Sincerely, never mind, all the good ones Argon.
It's so dark in here, I can't even read the price tag!
Sincerely, I see what you did there...
Why must you be so hard when I am not in the mood?
Sincerely, maybe tomorrow.
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Sincerely, that's kinda what I was hoping for when I dumped you!
Dear health class,
Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.
Sincerely, Coach Carr.