Dear boys I babysit,
Please stop looking at my belly button when I take you to the water park. I already told you: girls do not pee out of their belly buttons.
Sincerely, go talk to your mom.
Dear math teacher,
If I had twenty candy bars and ate nineteen of them what do I have?
Dear Domino's pizza is now served with real cheese,
What were you using before...?!?!?!
Sincerely, concerned customer.
Dear midwife who just fainted during my first child's birth,
Where did you go to school!?!?
Sincerely, WAKE UP WAKE UP!!