Dear pirates who kidnapped me for ransom,
Please know I enjoyed my time with you, am glad you took my advice of more than doubling my ransom (what you demanded hardly matched my worth), respect you for holding up your bargain upon being paid the aforementioned ransom, and hope there are no hard feelings with me honoring my promise to return to execute each and every one of you
Sincerely, Julius Caesar
Dear people who call me a hipster,
Please stop calling me one, I wear beanies because I am a little bitch when it comes to the cold.
Sincerely, I can't afford hipster clothes.
Dear Obama haters who think he's both a Marxist and a Muslim,
Marxism teaches that religion is the opiate of the people. Islam is a religion. Marxism and Islam conflict.
Sincerely, someone with a basic grasp of logic.
I understand that the bags are weak, but you don't have to act as if they're made of tissue paper! I mean, triple bagging? That wasn't even heavy enough to justify double bagging!
Sincerely, your exasperated cashier
Please stop trying to prevent guns in schools with gun laws
Sincerely, since when do criminals follow laws anyways?
Dear Harry potter 7,
Please know that I cried uncontrollably for hours after finishing you. I felt as if I had suffered from withdrawal.
Sincerely, a real potterhead
Dear judgmental virgin girls in my school ,
Please, we've been together for years, talk regularly about marriage and kids, and I wear the promise ring he gave me
Sincerely, that's not the definition of a slut
Dear stupid tailgater ,
Please get off my ass or I will go 10 under the speed limit.
Sincerely, just trying to teach you manners and patience
Please get exciting already.
Sincerely, still waiting.
Dear Ladies sitting next to me at Panera,
Please don't talk about me. I know I don't look the best, but I have my reasons.
Sincerely, grandma died yesterday, and our basement flooded. Didn't exactly have time to primp.
Dear people who think all kids born '98+ are lost causes,
Actually, some of us don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, babysat for our phones, read and write every day, and know how to spell and use the parts of speech correctly. I know being bit in 1999 doesn't make me a 90s kid, but I still function properly.
Sincerely, thirteen-year-old girl who loves Harry Potter just as much as you.
Tweeting where you're hiding from the cops...genius
Sincerely, the seniors laughing at your arrest
Dear smokers at the bus stop,
Thank you for putting them out
Sincerely, brother with a sister allergic
Dear 6 year old brother,,
Please never lose your innocence. The way you look at the world as if it is a beautiful place without fault or malevolence never fails to make me smile.
Sincerely, I will always be your big sis
I realise I might get a lot of hate for this... but please read with an open mind. The only reason I knew what discrimination and racism was is because they taught it to us in detail at school. Nobody is born thinking, "Oh, they're XXXXX so I hate them already!" Maybe if we stopped teaching it at such a young age, it would become nothing more than old stories to the future generations. If we stop arguing/complaining, maybe it wouldn't be such a huge problem...
Sincerely, a girl who thinks everyone should stop arguing about everything