Dear mom,
No, the printed and labeled diagram of a penis that I left on the kitchen counter was not for my enjoyment.
Sincerely, I hate health class
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Sincerely, either way we both get pretty high
Dear Grey's Anatomy writers,
You do realize that we laugh when we watch your show, right? And we have a drinking game base off it?
Sincerely, real surgeons with nothing better to do outside of the hospital.
Dear hamsters,
Please quit having running competitions in your wheels at 4am.
Sincerely, I realize you're nocturnal, but COME ON!
Dear coach,
Now I understand why you made us listen to "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)" during practice... Whole new meaning.
Sincerely, I don't think I'll be able to walk for a week.
Dear mind,
Please don't day dream while I'm trying to fill up my waterbottle!
Sincerely, soaking wet hand
Dear friends,
I will give you $200 when I'm dead to change my Facebook status to "Chillin' with Jesus!"
Sincerely, I beg you!
Dear Doctor,
Let's make a deal, you stop telling me to "drop a bit of weight" and I'll not mention that you've had 5 different receptionists in the last two years because you keep hitting on them.
Sincerely, We both need to change our lifestyles.
Dear Grey's Anatomy,
Whenever someone says, "Do you know where so and so is?", so and so is always either dead or having sex.
Sincerely, I've figured you out.
Dear TI-84 calculator,
Please don't have a secret history of all of the absurd calculations I've typed.
Sincerely, I typed in 14+6 the other day.
Dear everyone,
I'm mute. Not deaf.
Sincerely, there is no need to shout
Dear fellow Americans,
At an airport, a man had to strip down to his boxers- to reveal the fourth amendment written on his chest. (The right of the people to be secure against unreasonable searches and seizures shall note be violated)...... The TSA arrested him for "disorderly conduct".
Sincerely, Concerned.
Dear underclassmen complaining about your new job taking up you free time ,
I will be happy to take that burden off your hands.
Sincerely, a job-hunting senior who is trying to save for college
Dear Dad,,
Growing up, you drove me to piano lessons, ballet classes, figure skating lessons, tennis lessons and volleyball practices and I knew then that you are the best dad. Then in my 20's, I got sick and you slept in a chair next to me in the hospital for 9 months. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about all you've done for me and still doing. Thank you.
Sincerely, I can never re-pay you for everything
Dear girl that tries to hold hands with my boyfriend,
You have your boyfriend and I have mine.
Sincerely, Stick with yours, and we'll both be fine!
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