Please stop finding me! It's called witness protection and I'm SICK of moving!
Dear apologetic people,
Usually "my bad" and "I'm sorry" mean the same thing... Except at funerals.
Sincerely, choose wisely.
Oh, it's my sister's birthday today? I had no idea!
Sincerely, a twin
Dear people of the internet,
Did you know a whale's fart bubble is large enough to enclose a horse?
Sincerely, I thought you might want to know