Dear guy at the gym,
Sincerely, my smile LITERALLY tripped you up.
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.