Dear fans of The Great Gatsby,
What did Jay Gatsby say when his car ran over Myrtle Wilson?
Sincerely, Oopsy Daisy
Dear People around me,
Why do you always think I'm high when I'm not wearing my hearing aids? We've had multiple conversations about how I have to use cues from my other senses to compensate for my lack of hearing.
Sincerely, DEAFinitely not a stoner
Please don't put your glasses somewhere different before going to take a shower. It makes me feel like Velma.
Sincerely, My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!
I know you want me to keep throwing the tennis ball, but you have to give it back first!
Dear "In Ancient Rome homosexuality was encouraged because a man would fight better if he was trying to impress his lover ",
You mean ancient Greece. The Romans frowned upon it.
Sincerely, at least get your facts straight...
I am sure I will find the humor in this prank after I change my pants. Thanks for scaring me to death at 2 a.m.
Sincerely, NOT BLINKING! Call the Doctor and Clara.
Dear stressed out teenagers,
Just wait until University! My friend came back to visit and says that hers has a room full of puppies that students can go to at any time in the day for stress relief.
Sincerely, I think I know where I'm going...
Why is it either don't eat and be skinny or eat and be fat?
Sincerely, Whatever happened to eat what you want and exercise?
Dear college professors,
Please do not hold students to high standards regarding grammar/format/spelling/etc. if you don't hold yourselves up to the same standarsds.
Sincerely, wasting my time by editing your mistakes.
Just because my top college choice right now is the same as my boyfriend's doesn't mean I'm following him. I want to be an engineer too.
Sincerely, stop making me feel bad about liking a school.
Dear best guy friend,
Thank you for practicing and preforming me "Bella's lullaby" because you knew my parents were divorcing and you knew I liked twilight.
Sincerely, Best friend who's a girl and wants to marry you.
Please stop worrying about me leaving you. Yes, I know that you are going to deploy to Afghanistan in a few months, and that a lot of your friends who had already deployed told you about guys getting "Dear John" letters. We survived high school, boot camp, Advanced Individual Training, orders that sent you all over the country, and two additional years of you being stationed really far away. We can survive this too.
Sincerely, your fiance who will be waiting when you get back
Dear Publishing Companies,
I know that you prefer older writers because they have more "life experience", but please don't assume that because I'm young, I'm stupid and have nothing worth saying.
Sincerely, Teenage author whose dreams are being slowly crushed
Please understand this - Twilight didn't ruin this generation's readers on its own; In fact, bad though it might be, it didn't ruin them at all. Justin Bieber didn't ruin music, either. If one series of books, no matter how bad, and one singer - regardless of any potential - ruined books and music for you, then you weren't much for them in the first place.
Sincerely, Signed, Seventh Sage