Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear girl with a flashlight shopping at Abercrombie,
You made my day
Dear "pretty girls",
I love watching your face when I say, "Did it hurt when you fell from..." and then proceed to say, instead of Heaven, "...the whore tree and bang every guy on the way down?".
Dear "soap-free" soap,
Huh?
Dear Carrie Underwood,
We give you props, but next time maybe you shouldn't carve your name in the seats. It's a dead giveaway.
Dear world,
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
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