Please don't stop the sleigh so fast...
Sincerely, Randolph, the brown-nosed reindeer
You are sodium funny!
Dear men who don't understand lesbian sex,
If you don't understand what we do intimately, I feel bad for your girlfriends...
Sincerely, lesbians - girls who know what girls want
Dear Girl Scouts,
Stop trying to sucker me into buying your over-priced, mediocre cookies!
Sincerely, you make me feel so guilty for saying "no"