Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear friend who broke up with her 48 hour boyfriend,
What happened? "It's a long story..."
Dear my new puppy,
When I named you 'Dobby' I didn't intend for you to steal all my socks...
Dear Jesus,
If the Holy Spirit lives within us, does that make us your Horcuxes?
Dear World,
I told a chemistry joke once...
Dear teachers,
You know you're giving too much homework when the passenger seat belt light goes on because my backpack weighs as much as a person.
Dear Halloween stores,
No, not all teenage girls would like to dress as sluts this year.
Dear person who just tweeted "if u cud recomend a book 4 me wat wud it b?",
It would be a dictionary.
Dear boys,
Objects in shirt may be smaller than they appear.
Dear Marching Band,
We, the percussion section, are the only section that doesn't blow...
Dear ignorant people,
Please keep asking me if I'm Asian or Chinese. I laugh at your astounded looks when I say "BOTH!"
Dear oxygen,
Care for a game of aldehyde and seek?
Dear dreams,
Stop ending right when I get to the good part!
Dear troubled people,
May your problems, last only as long as Kim Kardashian's marriage...
Dear "wearing a padded bra is false advertisement",
Contrary to popular belief, i am not actually for sale.
Dear Easter,
Who thought of this holiday and said "...you know what this needs? A bunny that hides colorful eggs."
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