Dear Donald Trump,
Next time you go for a spray tan, take off the goggles
Sincerely, Just saying
Dear dear blank please blank,
Please let your site crash so I can finally get back to doing my homework.
Sincerely, it's 4am
Please stop being such LOSERS
Sincerely, Donald J. Trump
Dear random boners,
Stop. Just stop.
Sincerely, Guys Everywhere
I undertand we are identical twins, and it's alright if you get us messed up. I understand, it's hard. But for the love of God please do not ask either of us how we tell ourselves apart.
Sincerely, the exasperated 'other twin'
Why do we walk on two legs? We're wasting our arm muscles.
Sincerely, fellow human with dreams of a four-legged world
Dear Neighbor Mom,
Please bring your screaming child out into the shared hallway of our apartments so it can shout it's feelings to the whole living earth. It's shouts sound like a million shrieking cats.
Sincerely, Trying to Nap
Nobody clicks on your links. We're not stupid.
Sincerely, just fuck off!
Dear young teens,
Please stop talking and acting like you're grown. wait till you're 18 AND THEN mess up your life.
Sincerely, your annoyed classmate
Please stop putting so much pressure on me and comparing me to everyone else. You make me hate this home and this family. Every time I come home there is more and more yelling. The one time I tell you both that I am feeling like shit and am honest to God trying as hard as I possibly can... telling me that "you're just not doing it right" is not going to make me feel any better. I have cut myself and at this point will not hesitate jumping in front of a car when I see it coming. I contemplate whether or not this makes me mentally insane or simply tired of your bullshit. I know it sounds harsh, but I can't pretend like I love you if the only thing I hear all the time is, "why can't you be better?"
Sincerely, your daughter who just doesn't know what to do anymore
Please stop. Eating only makes me more stessed.
Sincerely, a stress-eater
Dear shy girl,
You're tiny, friendly and really cute. You always smile and hold back. Who would have thought that was your secret?
Sincerely, the guy who got owned at playing videogames with you
Dear boy who picked on me in middle school,
Why didn't you tell me how you felt when we were 13?
Sincerely, I'm sorry, but now I'm 21 and have a boyfriend
Dear Kids I babysit,
Please don't bug me to play the second I get there at 7 am
Sincerely, Your babysitter