Dear Chicken and the Egg,
Does it really matter who came first? Because I win anyway.
Sincerely, The frying pan.
I will not apologize for being an asshole to you.
You should have put one of your Horcruxes into my ex-boyfriend's ego.
Sincerely, It is freakin' indestructible!
Dear science nerds,
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. What does the bartender say?
Sincerely, for you, no charge!
Dear North Korea,
I meant put the take-out in the microwave when i said to nuke the Chinese.
Sincerely, Kim Jong Un
Dear those who believe you only live once,
Oh really? Well then we'll see about that...
Dear toilet paper,
Please stop complaining that you have the worst job. I don't want to argue with you about this anymore.
Was it awkward when Andy was getting dressed?
Sincerely, Just curious
Dear P.E Teacher,
I am DEFINITELY allergic to sports...
Sincerely, Panting, Face turned red, sweating...
Dear clumsy person,
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time...
Please let me thank you personally for adding ten minutes to my walk to class this morning
Sincerely, how do I explain to my professor I was stuck in walking traffic?
Alright, she's scared. You can start with the noises now.
Sincerely, Scary Movie
What kind of tea is bitter and hard to swallow?