Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear food labels,
Serving size is 1/4 of cookie? Who the hell eats only 1/4 of a cookie?
Dear people,
If we go off, you hate us. If we don't go off, you hate us. We can't win.
Dear school,
I see you removed all the games from the computer but left Paint...
Dear women everywhere,
Good men are hard to find.
Dear 6th grader,
No, child. Just because your "boyfriend" forgot to text you back last night,doesn't mean you change your relationship status to "it's complicated."
Dear boys who say they like girls without makeup,
I think you mean you like naturally beautiful girls without makeup.
Dear english teacher,
Why, yes, I CAN go to the bathroom.
Dear parents,
Texting + Facebook= Textbook... so yes, I am studying.
Dear friend with the last name Holmes,
If you don't name your kid Sherlock I'm naming it for you.
Dear house,
How come you only make strange, unrecognizable noises when I'm home alone?
Dear mom who just asked me if I know what 69 is,
Nope, no idea.
Dear male teacher who gives detention for spending more than three minutes in the bathroom,
Have you ever timed yourself putting in a tampon and changing a pad?
Dear best friend's new boyfriend,
Just FYI, I keep duct tape, a shovel, rope and gloves in my car, and I watch plenty of NCIS to know how to make it look like an accident.
Dear cute guy on facebook,
If you could see who watched your profile and how often, you'd probably request protective custody...
Dear teacher,
Please realize that when you tell us to put our heads down, it is not a punishment.
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