Dear French teacher,
"It's a video of France in the modern world, France today." Yeah right.
Sincerely, you're holding a VHS tape.
Dear girls playing never have I ever,
WHAT HAVEN'T YOU DONE?!
Sincerely, totally scarred for life.
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!
Sincerely, no, not a stalker. Just the mailman.
Dear student who gets my Chemistry text book next year,
Sincerely, "This book is the property of The Half Blood Prince".
Dear lady on the elliptical in front of me,
Sincerely, dying on the one behind you.
Dear "which is worse: ignorance or apathy",
I don't know and I don't care.
Sincerely, see what I just did there?
Dear movie theater usher,
What do you mean my bag smells like fast food?
Sincerely, I have no idea what you're talking about...
If you won't cancel Jersey Shore, then I will.
Sincerely, Hurricane Irene.
Dear alarm clocks,
We are far more effective than you at getting people out of bed.
Sincerely, full bladders.
Dear smart water,
Please is there a minimum intelligence level required to drink this?
Sincerely, I can't open the lid.
Dear health class,
Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.
Sincerely, Coach Carr.
Dear automatic toilet,
You scared the crap out of me!
Sincerely, good thing I was already on the toilet...
Dear person trying to push a pull door,
Sincerely, just tried to pull a push door.
Dear board games,
Sorry, I can't.
Sincerely, just saw Jumanji.