Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Netflix,
Please stop suggesting that I should watch Human Centipede. If I wanted to watch someone eating crap I'd go to McDonald's.
Dear Cupcakes,
The fact that you cover yourselves with icing really says something about your self-esteem.
Dear Three Year Old Brother,
You can't tell me where to hide in a game of hide-and-go-seek especially when you are the seeker.
Dear Whovians,
Every time I read your fandom name I always think that you're obsessed with Dr. Seuss and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Dear woman plopping some bombs in the stall next to me,
I gotchu.
Dear Mapquest Users,
Please Stop... Just stop...
Dear Bronys that go see my Mom for their doctor,
Please stop going to her, she comes home everyday very confused about humanity.
Dear parents,
I promise I wasn't switching windows just because you were coming in the room!
Dear Old Woman at the Mall,
Please stop yelling at me for having a baby so young, It is a robot baby that I was assigned to for a school project. I didn't ruin my life, my teacher ruined my weekend.
Dear neighbor dog,
Please stop barking at 3 A.M. It has been 12 years and you have not shut up yet. Please die already.
Dear guys,
If you want to get a girl, your going to have to prove that you'll be better than the single life.
Dear girls,
Please stop complaining about how bad your periods are. At one point or another you're going to have to accept the fact that this is going to happen for 30 to 40 more years. Get over it.
Dear loving older sister,
I didn't understand why you wanted me to give the creepy quiet guy who hit on me a chance, but i thank you. Never in a million years would i ever expect for him to be my one and only, but you did. He loves me so much and got me out of a depressive rut in my life. He is the love of my life and you are the best sister ever.
Dear chocolate ice cream,
Thank you for always being there for me.
Dear "Violence is always wrong",
My neck still hurts from the last time I tried to kill myself. And when I came back from the hospital, the first thing I heard was: "So you didn't manage to kill yourself this time either? No wonder your mommy's ashamed of you!"
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