Dear people who call evil beings "heartles",
WE TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!
Sincerely, The Planaria worms who don't have hearts because they don't need a circulatory system.
I believe you, but if you're going to cheat on your diet with a piece of chocolate, do not do so in the bathroom.
Sincerely, It's easy to misconstrue licking your fingers as you leave the stall.
I never type the word orgasm in an email. Ever.
Sincerely, the camp orgasm director...I said PROGRAM!
Dear best friend,
Don't worry about your Prince Charming, I've taken care of that.
Sincerely, your best friend who just kidnapped him for you
Dear "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve",
Please I think you should Adam and leave.
Dear Prince Charming,
I changed my mind, I'm going back to sleep.
Sincerely, sleeping beauty
Dear men obsessed with blowjobs,
What's so intriguing about putting a very sensitive part of your anatomy into a cavity with teeth?
Sincerely, curious woman
Please change your font
Sincerely, I thought you spelt it Gisnep until i was 13...
Please stop these shenanigans. Just come inside already.
Sincerely, Knock Knock
I don't like that you're secretly dating a priest. You're literally replacing my father with a Father.
Sincerely, Your Atheist daughter
Dear boyfriend I now live with,
You can't talk to me through the bathroom door.
Sincerely, it's weird, I can't pee.
Dear Nicki Minaj,
Thank you for teaching me that anacondas like bread.
Sincerely, South America, here I come!
Really? You literally just said "I don't know any people with X chromosomes who play XBox"? You do realize that every single person on the planet has at least one X chromosome, right? It's actually essential to life/
Sincerely, someone who paid attention in biology
Behave, or you will be put up for wig adoption.
Sincerely, be good.