Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear police officers,
You should yell "PIKACHUUUUU!" before tasing anyone.
Dear whoever cleans our hotel room,
Don't worry, the brown on the bed sheet is just chocolate.
Dear female scary movie victim,
Yes, trip over air and lie there screaming while the murderer is still 45 seconds away from you.
Dear teenager who asked for a lollipop at the bank today,
Don't ever grow up.
Dear boys,
Act like the the guy you would want your daughter to be with.
Dear puberty,
Planning on hitting me anytime soon?
Dear package,
Please have bubble wrap... Please have bubble wrap...
Dear "the early bird gets the worm",
But the early worm gets eaten...
Dear mom,
Aren't you supposed to be mad or something when you see the hickey on my neck?
Dear boys who whistle at girls,
What? Do you think we're going to sprint over to you, lick your face and let you pet us?
Dear guys who went streaking during our homecoming game,
Best. Halftime. Show. EVER!
Dear unicorns,
Is this how it felt when you realized you were becoming a dying breed?
Dear guy who almost hit Bella with his car,
I've been on your team all along.
Dear person reading this,
I'm avoiding a 10 page paper due tomorrow on the rise and fall of the Roman Empire...what about you?
Dear mom,
Stop being such a cougar.
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