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THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Dear man looking at me on the bus,
Just because I'm Muslim doesn't mean I have a bomb under my shirt,
Dear King Arthur,
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.
Dear Lady Gaga,
Please make a song with the Goo Goo Dolls
Dear Mozzy the Cat,
Please feel free to sit on my face as a sign that it's time for your breakfast, I don't need to breathe anyway.
Dear Daleks,
Please consider pursuing a career in pest control.
Dear who ever said nothing's impossible ,
You Obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
Dear genetics,
Why couldn't I be born with pink hair?
Dear singles,
Roses are red, violets aren't blue, I heard you're forever alone...so LOL screw you!
Dear Folks who wear make-up,
All in favor of changing the name from make-up to war-paint, say aye.
Dear face wash ads,
Please know that people don't actually splash their face like that!
Dear boys who are embarrassed when their voices crack,,
Don't worry; we think it's cute
Dear little kids,
Did you really think sledding down and ice covered hill was going to end well? Neither did I.
Dear English teacher who challenged a student to a handstand contest and won,
YOU'RE AWESOME!!
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