Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Sincerely, man wearing his wife's yoga pants at the grocery store
It's not small, it's fun size...
Dear "those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it",
This saying just got a whole new meaning...
Sincerely, failing History class.
Dear people who ask me how I get good grades,
My blood type is A positive...
Sincerely, ...so you could say A's run through my veins.
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
No, the printed and labeled diagram of a penis that I left on the kitchen counter was not for my enjoyment.
Sincerely, I hate health class
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Sincerely, either way we both get pretty high
Thank you for teaching me that if you don't finish something, it really isn't the end of the world
Sincerely, a perfectionist finally at ease
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
False. Violets are violet by nature, and roses, depending on their genotype, can be a variety of colors.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
Dear person who just rear-ended me,
Thank you for singing "like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" When we got out.
Sincerely, don't worry, you're covered
Dear Latin teacher,
Thanks for says, "That would make you a prostitute." when the girls in my class said they wanted to wear a toga.
Sincerely, that was great.
Dear fellow actors in my high school drama department,
Thank you so much for this award. It means a lot to me.
Sincerely, "Most Soulful Ginger"
Dear TI-84 calculator,
Please don't have a secret history of all of the absurd calculations I've typed.
Sincerely, I typed in 14+6 the other day.
SUDDEN REALISATION! In Harry Potter, Ron's house is called the Burrow because weasels live in burrows.