Please stop attacking me with your faces. It hurts.
Sincerely, the floor
Saying "You're the ugliest person I know." really doesn't work with you.
Sincerely, your identical twin sister
Dear author of a book i just read,
So you're trying to tell me that in a world of vampires, a human girl pretended to be a vampire successfully for 17 years? You do realize that girls BLEED every month, right?
Sincerely, she would have been eaten as soon as she hit puberty
Dear people who tell me I'm short,
Sincerely, I'm a legal midget
We have the same middle name. Let's be friends!
Dear white girls,
Ok, so like how much Starbucks can you can't before your Uggs literally can't even?
I don't love summer because I see you in skimpy bikinis, I love summer because I never need to wear a shirt
Sincerely, Self Proclaimed Narcissistic Douche
Here I come.
I don't find Waldo. Waldo finds ME.
Sincerely, Chuck Norris
Please tell me what Chuck E. Cheese's middle name is
Sincerely, one curious kid since 5 years old
Dear Pandora advertisers,
Why do I keep getting ads in Spanish to vote for the govener of Illinois?
Sincerely, I don't live in Illinois or speak Spanish
Dear Michael Jackson,
I don't think Annie's okay.
Sincerely, a smooth criminal
Dear person reading this,
Turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Severus Snape
Sorry I peed in your bushes.
Sincerely, I really had to go.