Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Dear illegal Mexican immigrants,
Thank you for distracting the Americans from the other border...
Dear winter,
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Dear Lady at the park,
When you asked me if the baby was my sister, and I said no the look on your face was priceless!
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Dear Spongebob creators,
A squirrel in a space suit, a snail that meows, and a crab with a whale as a daughter
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
Dear husband,
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Dear Trix Rabbit,
We can team up and destroy those nosy kids once and for all. And then we'll have our cereal all to ourselves.
Dear creative writing class,
I'm glad you found all that symbolism in my poem. I was pretty sure I was just writing about a mountain lake.
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear 7 year old brother,
Please continue to hop away like a bunny when I told you to 'hop off' because I was in a bad mood. You made my day.
Dear person who said "can the sarcasm",,
Please. I use fresh sarcasm. Never canned.
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