Dear joke I heard two years ago,
I finally got it
Sincerely, just broke out laughing in the middle of a conversation
Please follow through with your promise.
Sincerely, not seeing any boys in my yard.
Dear Porn Ads,
I should not have clicked that. I definitely should not have clicked that.
Sincerely, please don't arrest me
Dear men with ED,
I would love to have a hard time with you.
Sincerely, horny girl
Please quit being such a jerk.
Sincerely, getting real tired or your sh*t, a**hole
Dear new 20 year olds,
Congratulations!!! You just surpassed teen pregnancy!
Sincerely, renewed hope
Dear Bella Swan,
I've met bread more interesting than you.
Sincerely, Rather stare at bread than watch Twilight any day.
Dear habitual hashtaggers,
You don't need to hashtag every word you say, just write a normal complete sentence.
Sincerely, do the write thing
Dear people that walk too damn slow,
Please remember natural selection will catch up to you one day
Sincerely, pick up the pace
Dear "Are you in a relationship?",
Do my relationships with fictional characters, celebrities, and/or food count?
Sincerely, it's complicated
Dear Girl across the library,
Please If I can hear your music from several tables away, I feel sorry for your ears.
Sincerely, Maroon 5 isn't THAT good.
Dear Indian people,
It's kinda funny to hear you say that you're not attracted to Asians. Do you know where you come from?!?! lol
Sincerely, just had to point that out
You made a mistake in buying me. I will now take control of your life until the day I die. For if you do anything out of line of what I want from you, I can sink my ever-so-sharp teeth into your neck at full force in the dead of night when you're dreaming about how you wish you could have had a dog instead.
Sincerely, Your Ever-so-Loving Cat
Dear Jewish mom and Catholic Dad,
This is awesome!
Sincerely, Kid who gets to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas
I love that you're willing and capable of cooking for me...but please reconsider the thought process, "I'm going to put everything my wife finds impalatable into one dish so she HAS to eat it!"
Sincerely, Your adoring, but pregnant and hungry wife.