Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear 120 pound pitbull,
Please stop "sitting" on my lap and then standing directly on my balls. I love ya dude, but I want kids.
Dear French teacher,
I'm glad you don't make us learn useless sentences like "the dog eats chicken" or "the car is blue", but the sentences you make us learn instead make me question your sanity. Under what circumstances would you need to know the French for "the skeleton is on the roof"?
Dear child of mine,
Please let me poop in peace...
Dear Harry Potter,
Turn to page 394.
Dear religion,
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dear People on Facebook,
Please stop acting like cropping a picture and/or adding text to it makes you a graphic designer.
Dear Americans thinking of moving to Europe if Trump gets elected,
Please, by all means, come join us in my country! We love newcommers and we're a loving, happy people, that would make you feel very welc... Oh wait, I'm danish. Never mind.
Dear impatient morons,
Please realise that a fully laden freight train cannot stop or swerve to avoid hitting you. The responsibility to avoid an accident lies on you to obey the signals and keep clear of a train. Don't think you can race the train.
Dear judgemental friends,
Please stop calling my girlfriend a whore. Just because I made out with her on our second day of dating, doesn't mean she's a whore.
Dear friend,
I started going to the gym with you because it was fun and we motivated each other. But on a day I wasn't able to make it you tried to "motivate" me by saying how fat I was going to get. That's not motivation, that's bullying.
Dear father,
Please don't ignore your daughter while we're gone. Shes worried us going to college means she's going to be all alone. You can't just say you don't know how to treat a teenage girl and just ignore her. You treat her like a person. She likes football, video games, and chemistry. She never flips out or screams. She's rational and smart, but thinks her father doesn't love her. Go talk to her.
Dear women,
If you ever feel inadequate because you don't have giant breasts, don't. You're not missing much.
Dear School Bus Driver and Mom,
Could you have your ten minute conversation when there isn't a huge line of cars stopped waiting for the school bus to turn its lights off?
Dear landlady,
Please stop smoking. You're killing us both.
Dear friends,
You're welcome to come over on short notice, however, when I tell you I have lots of homework and it needs to be a short visit, that means you shouldn't stay for 5 hours. It also DEFINITELY means that you shouldn't leave only when I tell you I need to go to bed, and ask when exactly I'm going to bed so you can try and squeeze in one more episode.
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US