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Dear Apple,
Please create an "Add to the Dictionary" feature for my iPod.
Dear little sister,
Did you really ask if I was a "cereal" killer after I stepped on a cheerio.
Dear dark spot in the corner of the wall,
Are you a spider or just a bit of fluff? I'll blow on it and see if you move.
Dear 5 year old cousin,
Thank you for reminding me of the appropriate response when someone says "I love you."
Dear brother with low self-esteem,
You can't be ugly; you're related to me!
Dear Miss Universe Pageant,
Why are the winners always from Earth?
Dear baking soda,
You whiten my teeth, remove stains from my clothes and bake in my cookies.
Dear Grandma,
Thank you for saying "Yeah, like YOU'VE never done that" to Mum while she was screaming at me!
Dear impossible physics homework,
I would like to introduce you to one of my favorite inventions... the paper shredder.
Dear girls who dress like it's Summer in the Winter,
HA!
Dear student whose paper I'm grading,
I quote; "i thnk abraham linkin was som rndom guy, i guess. idk. he hd a funny ht. he shood c som1 abut tht............"
Dear Jocks,
You may get a lot if girls, but it's not even comparable to how many we COULD get!
Dear boys,
I thought dicks were supposed to be in your pants, not in your personality.
Dear enormously tall black football player walking by me,
That really made my day when your phone went off and Taylor Swift started singing "Our Song"
Dear art teacher,
Yes I did draw a picture. Of what you say? Well of a cow eating grass of course. Where's the grass? Uhm duh, the cow ate it all. Where's the cow? He left to go find some more grass.
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