Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Sincerely, a gal from the Middle Ages.
Dear man looking at me on the bus,
Just because I'm Muslim doesn't mean I have a bomb under my shirt,
Sincerely, I obviously have my AK-47 under there.
Dear King Arthur,
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.
Sincerely, Taunting French Guard
Dear Lady Gaga,
Please make a song with the Goo Goo Dolls
Sincerely, Goo Goo Gaga
Dear Mozzy the Cat,
Please feel free to sit on my face as a sign that it's time for your breakfast, I don't need to breathe anyway.
Sincerely, nothing like the smell of your arse first thing in the morning.
Please consider pursuing a career in pest control.
Dear who ever said nothing's impossible ,
You Obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
Sincerely, I think... I broke... My face...
Why couldn't I be born with pink hair?
Sincerely, an anime fan
Roses are red, violets aren't blue, I heard you're forever alone...so LOL screw you!
Sincerely, Valentine's Day
Dear Folks who wear make-up,
All in favor of changing the name from make-up to war-paint, say aye.
Dear face wash ads,
Please know that people don't actually splash their face like that!
Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet!
Dear boys who are embarrassed when their voices crack,,
Don't worry; we think it's cute
Sincerely, a teenage girl
Dear little kids,
Did you really think sledding down and ice covered hill was going to end well? Neither did I.
Sincerely, Amused neighbor