Dear Chinese best friend,
I love how you got a tattoo that says "made in China"
Sincerely, you're hilarious
I Get So Hard For You.
Has anyone considered that Waldo is dead?
Sincerely, he's been missing for who knows how long...
Please stop the period jokes
Sincerely, You're ovary acting
Listen, Im not gay....My boyfriend is.
Sincerely, your son.
So, if nobody jumps off a cliff, will YOU jump off?
Dear iPhone auto-correction,
No, I actually spelled my friend's name correct. Do not change it!
Sincerely, "Happy birthday, vehicle!"
Prom? Wedding? Vacation? Date? Pretty much any important day in your life? I'm coming too!
Sincerely, your period
I thought you were texting in class. Instead, I see you playing Pokemon on a Gameboy Advance. Carry on.
Dear boy who opened the door for me,
I'm sorry that I didn't notice you and went through the other door. Thank you for chasing me down, dragging me back into the building with you and making me go through the door while you held it.
Sincerely, You made my life...and now I have a crush on you!
Dear guy customer who's credit card got declined while buying condoms,
You got cock-blocked by Visa.
Sincerely, amused customer behind you.
Dear skin doctors specializing on scars,
Please stop sending me your fliers and brochures.
Sincerely, Harry Potter
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I listened to your advice, but it didn't work!
Sincerely, well-rested but still single
Dear "I wasnt that drunk",
You were going around the bar, dipping your fingers in wine and then rubbing people's foreheads and saying "simba!"
Sincerely, yeah you were pretty drunk