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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Dear Woman,
It's not small, it's fun size...
Dear "those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it",
This saying just got a whole new meaning...
Dear people who ask me how I get good grades,
My blood type is A positive...
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Dear mom,
No, the printed and labeled diagram of a penis that I left on the kitchen counter was not for my enjoyment.
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Dear Mayans,
Thank you for teaching me that if you don't finish something, it really isn't the end of the world
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
False. Violets are violet by nature, and roses, depending on their genotype, can be a variety of colors.
Dear person who just rear-ended me,
Thank you for singing "like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" When we got out.
Dear Latin teacher,
Thanks for says, "That would make you a prostitute." when the girls in my class said they wanted to wear a toga.
Dear fellow actors in my high school drama department,
Thank you so much for this award. It means a lot to me.
Dear TI-84 calculator,
Please don't have a secret history of all of the absurd calculations I've typed.
Dear world,
SUDDEN REALISATION! In Harry Potter, Ron's house is called the Burrow because weasels live in burrows.
Dear awkwardly named nail polishes,
My history says I looked at a page named "dirty slut"
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