Dear "curiosity killed the cat",
What the hell was your cat doing on mars?
Dear Jack the Ripper,
We have the same middle name!
Sincerely, Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Winnie the Pooh.
Dear idiotic guy,
"Ask me if I'm PMSing one more time, and I'll bleed all over you!"
Sincerely, PMSing indeed - and you're face was priceless!
Dear room mates,
Please make sure I can't hear you before you talk shit about me.
Sincerely, Though, your reactions when I replied were hilarious.
Dear Algedra students complaining about mixing numbers and letters.,
Just wait until they throw in Greek letters too!
Sincerely, a Pre-Calculus student
Dear Grouchy Old People,
Please stop judging. No, I am not a lazy twenty-year old; I am a twenty-year-old with severe tendnitis in my knees. About once a week, I am unable to walk. By twenty-five, I may need to have both replaced.
Sincerely, No Lazy, Just More Injured Than You
Dear Ex Fiance,
Please be happy, don't let anyone hurt you, find a good guy, save your money, love yourself and take care of your dad because he needs you. I love you and I think about you every day.
Sincerely, the guy you left in NC.
Dear Best Guy Friend/Crush,
Please understand that when you have me straddle you in a hot tub in my bikini, I am going to assume you're interested.
Sincerely, maybe you shouldn't be so misleading next time.
Dear Donald Trump,
Please note that putting a wall on the US's southern border would be expensive (Mexico ain't stupid enough to pay for that), and accomplish nothing.
Sincerely, The Wall of China- which the Mongols went AROUND
Dear ex-boyfriend in Afghanistan,
We may not be together anymore, but I still miss you.
Sincerely, your ex-girlfriend who hopes you'll come home soon
Why is it that when a person believes they're an alien from another planet they are institutionalized, but when a man comes out and says he's a woman he is "brave and being 'himself'?"
Sincerely, your logic makes no sense
Dear financial advisor,
Please be advised that in the next six months I will have three more children and one less job. Let's talk about life change events!
Sincerely, Betcha didn't see that one coming!
Dear Girls with big breasts that say girls with small breasts can't complain,
I am not saying that I want giant knockers bigger than my head that give me horrible back pain. I just want to wear cute shirts and dresses and have them fit. It would make me feel better about myself that I don't have to dress like a boy.
Sincerely, 29 year old who can't wear an A cup bra because it's too big, and depressed about it.
Dear people who say "All Muslims are not ISIS",
Please remember that, while it is true that all Muslims are not evil or part of ISIS, their religion is completely evil and teaches them that all non-Muslims should be killed
Sincerely, the Muslim religion is corrupt